Deadgold: Chapters 12-13

The end of the year is barreling down on us, isn't it? The plan is to keep up the normal pace of chapters, but the last weekend December I'll do my 2025 in Review post instead. This one will be a little longer than most, detailing what I've done on side projects and how I see the industry as a whole.

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Chapter 12

It was only another week before the meeting with the Gold Wastes leadership was announced. Technically Theo should have been glad about that, but he was mostly irritated that he hadn't been able to help Navim up to Authority.

Navim had most of the sapphires he needed, thanks to allies and the Mundhin's own resourcefulness. While Theo had been off fighting battles against Tymetron, Navim had used the small Aathali gate to explore the other side and eventually acquired an Aathali sapphire. Now he was only missing Deuxan and Tatian, which felt like they should have been easy worlds from which to acquire a sapphire, yet they ran out of time before the diplomats returned.

As soon as the arrangement was made, there was no time to delay. Theo gathered up his allies and stepped from one war to another.

This time, he wasn't going alone: Guchiro returned from Ichil long enough to join them, so they had a Dominion and three Strongholds. Even in places like the Gold Wastes or Tymetron, that was a serious force, one that he didn't think would be brushed aside. Exactly how far they could take that remained to be seen.

All of that boded well, yet it was still a bit disorienting to simply be taken across the world by weirkey. Technically it was good that they had skipped over countless ranks to go directly to the capital city of the Gold Wastes, but Theo had never been there before and felt ahead of himself. The diplomats had negotiated the meeting, not the terms, so everything fell on his group now.

"Are there any customs we must observe?" Fiyu asked as they waited, fidgeting with her robes. "I would normally remain silent, but sometimes with Fithans that can also cause offense."

"Don't worry about that so much," Theo told her. "From what I've seen, the Gold Wastes are more casual about all these things. The first time I visited, I got information by wrestling someone."

"Is that going to apply to their top leaders, though?" Nauda asked.

"I'm not saying to go up and punch the first person you see in the face, just don't be too formal."

"Thank you for this wisdom, because I definitely intended to punch someone in the face as soon as possible."

Only Guchiro seemed completely unaffected, suspended a few inches off the ground at the core of their group. With half his face covered in his mask and his arms tightly folded, he looked practically like a statue except for how his scarf flowed in the air currents.

Theo hadn't gotten a very good look at the capital city or the fortress they waited in now, but it seemed to be largely open, with lots of walled terraces. They'd been left to wait in a terrace mid-way up the whole stack, a few levels away from the top. It seemed plausible that Giatrice herself was there, though Theo didn't think that even the Gold Wastes Fithans would look kindly on just flying up. Exactly how much work it would take to ascend those steps remained to be seen.

Their waiting seemed to be more about disorganization on the other side than trying to prove any point, because it wasn't too long before a group came to meet them. Several diplomats he'd seen before, but they looked like servants compared to the soulcrafters: three Strongholds and an old man who was clearly a Dominion. So they were taking this seriously.

"Welcome to the Gold Wastes!" the Dominion boomed. "Took a long time for the diplomats to talk things out, didn't it?"

"Thank you for inviting us," Guchiro said in a much calmer tone. "We are-"

"So, why is Norron sending a bunch of foreigners instead of coming themselves? Can't they fight their own battles?"

The air itself seemed to go still as the room went silent and Theo realized that this meeting wasn't going to go the way he had expected. Though the Dominion moved boisterously and was grinning, now Theo saw a hard edge in the old man's eyes. This wasn't the beginning of an alliance, it was a hostile challenge, and not one he thought they could win by force alone.

"They're busy defending themselves from Tymetron," Theo spoke sharply into the silence, not looking away from the Dominion even though the man wasn't looking at anyone but Guchiro. "No one has been able to take down the empire for centuries, but together, we might be able to."

"That isn't how this is going to go," the Dominion said, still not looking at him. "So you have another Dominion... that isn't enough. Tymetron has soulcrafters beyond Dominion who will roll right over you."

"We are familiar with aeon-class soulcrafting," Guchiro said calmly, and this seemed to give the Dominion slight pause.

"Don't get us wrong," the old man said, "we're grateful that you're distracting the empire so much. Giatrice was able to land a pretty good blow thanks to you. But bluntly, it just isn't worth our time to try to defend Norron when we have our hands full with our own nation. Take this deadgold and do what you can with it."

The Dominion gestured to a Ruler-tier assistant, who pulled a large mass of deadgold from his soulhome and dropped it onto the floor. It fell heavily and lay still, a clear symbol of dismissal. Taking it would have ended the meeting, but none of them moved toward it, thinking the same thing that Theo was: any sublime material would be a poor consolation prize compared to an actual alliance.

Only Guchiro succeeded in looking impervious, while the others exchanged glances. Theo nodded slightly to Nauda, flicking his gaze toward the group and hoping she understood his implication. Perhaps she did, because she took a step forward to the head of their formation.

"Is that what Giatrice told you to say?" Nauda asked. "Or are you just dismissing us out of hand?"

"There's no difference, to someone like you." The Dominion looked at her briefly, dismissed her, and returned to glaring at Guchiro. "If you really think you're worth more than a distraction to Plutalgion, then challenge us properly."

"Try us, then."

With a snort, the Dominion lunged forward, a great aura of cantae building around him. He intended to knock aside Nauda on his way to Guchiro, but she deflected his strike with her off hand. The old man hesitated, mildly annoyed, and delivered a punch directly to the face.

Nauda caught it with her gauntlet.

The force pushed her back slightly, but her body didn't give way, now that her soulhome was reinforcing her so potently. Theo subtly activated his mass and anchoring techniques, helping Nauda stay locked in place. When the Dominion flooded more force down his arm, intending to blast her away in a clear show of power, Nauda grimaced but held firm.

Behind her, Guchiro hadn't made even the slightest movement to defend himself; in fact he was looking away, toward the higher terraces beyond them. That actually intimidated the Dominion slightly and he pulled back, his eyes dancing through the group as if truly seeing them.

Maybe he noticed that Theo had been supporting Nauda, but even if he had put his hand on the scale during that clash, they hadn't cheated anything else. None of that had been planned, they had simply coordinated with one another after traveling together for so long. There was also nothing faked about the way Fiyu had prepared her cantae, as if she was prepared to attack if the Dominion didn't get away from Nauda.

After a long and tense pause, the old man abruptly laughed and pulled away. "You have more guts than I gave you credit for! Truth be told, Giatrice has been curious about you. Alright, go on up."

Theo kept his face neutral but breathed a sigh of relief as the path was open for them. He had been afraid that the Gold Wastes would require them to fight a whole series of opponents on their way up, or that at minimum Guchiro or someone else would need to do a formal challenge. Having Nauda stand firm against one of their Dominions had apparently been enough to avoid wasting any time on that sort of thing.

As they left one terrace and flew up to the last, Nauda looked over at Theo and they exchanged a smile. Definitely better this way.

On the highest terrace they didn't find any courtiers, ornaments, or even a throne. The only fancy thing he saw was a large gold-colored carpet, but even that wasn't made of actual gold, it just looked like a comfortable surface. There was an old woman performing a stretching exercise in the center of it and Theo realized that he was finally coming face to face with Giatrice.

The Ophaon tier soulcrafter looked like she had been fighting since before Theo was born, maybe even counting by Earth years. She was skeleton thin, the visible skin on her arms a leathery Fithan red and crossed with countless scars. Her head was shaved, though there was a layer of white stubble across her skull. He didn't see any weapons or armaments, except for a sword at her side which appeared to have its hilt made from a horn, maybe even a depths Fithan horn.

At first it seemed like Giatrice was going to ignore them entirely, continuing with her stretches. But as she finished a set, she vaulted to an upright position and smiled at them.

"So they decided to let you up, huh?" Her voice was a bit reedy, but still strong and firm. "Not going to take the deadgold and run?"

"We are not here for our own profit," Guchiro said. "We seek to defeat Plutalgion."

"Then I suppose the first step is to see whether you're absolute fools."

Without warning, Giatrice unleashed her full power, solid cantae smashing into them like a wall. If it had been the first time Theo had faced power that intense, he might well have lost his balance, but he anchored the group and let the power roll off his armament coat.

More important than the display, he got a sense for her soulhome. A solid gold shielding wall, tough but not enough to obscure her entire soulhome. He estimated seven levels, confirming his first impression of Ophaon. The upper floors opened into terraces at multiple places, each one of them blasting a stream of cantae, so it seemed like her blueprint was designed with those massive outlets, likely each one dedicated to a single technique.

Midway through eagerly analyzing the design, Theo remembered that this had probably been meant to intimidate them.

"Well, you didn't fold right away." Giatrice drew in a breath and pulled back all her cantae at the same time. She smiled as if mildly impressed. "So you weren't just using a term you knew nothing about."

This was the time to drop names, then. "We've faced aeon-class soulcrafters before," Theo said. "Plutalgion himself fought us, and we've witnessed the House of the Lost fight aeon-class opponents. We've met with the Worldguard, the Eternal Spectrum, the Mercury Court on Deuxan."

He wasn't sure if all of those names would land, and he was technically lying about the Worldguard, but Theo thought this was the time to project strength if they wanted to ask for concessions later. Giatrice would surely have noted that the Eternal Spectrum and others had appeared in the battle the previous year, so he thought that she would buy his pitch.

The old woman didn't look impressed, exactly, but he thought he saw the scales behind her eyes shift just slightly. She settled her hand on the hilt of her sword as she looked over the group, much more slowly and carefully than the Dominion.

"So you're ambitious... but you're not stupid enough to think you can beat Plutalgion."

"Nor can you," Guchiro said bluntly. Theo wouldn't have taken that step, but it must have been the right one, because Giatrice laughed.

"You aren't wrong, he's a tough one," she said with a chuckle that seemed to make light of their existential risk. "But part of how we survive is by making sure that it would cost him too much. What makes you think that we'd stick our necks out for Norron? Every power that can actually face Tymetron will be thinking that this is a good opportunity to shore up their defenses, or maybe get a few blows in."

"As you can see," Guchiro gestured at the group, "this conflict is growing broader. Tymetron will not be untouchable in this war, they will have to risk the very integrity of their empire."

"We're doing the same thing you are," Theo said as inspiration struck. "Your defensive strategy includes cooperating with the Fithans in the oceans between you, right? We're just using the same strategy, coordinating everyone who has a stake in this war. We hope to get the aeon-class soulcrafter from the nearest oceans to take a hand as well."

He intended to imply that they might have a partial alliance with the depths, and he wasn't sure that was actually successful, but Giatrice did look at him thoughtfully. Seemed like she was considering their offer more seriously than anyone else had since they arrived.

Theo really wanted to ask her all kinds of questions, about the balance of aeon-class powers as well as soulcrafting, since he was sure that a soulcrafter of her experience would have a lot to say. But they needed to maintain their strong stance, so he would have to wait. Maybe they'd get a chance if the alliance solidified between both sides.

"So coordination is what you seek?" Giatrice finally asked.

"For a start," Guchiro answered. "You dealt a great blow to Tymetron when they were distracted with us, but we can do much more if we work together."

"That's an unobjectionable start. I'll have some of the others exchange materials that can send messages, there's no harm in it. Obviously we can serve as deterrents: Plutalgion will be limited in how many troops he can send to your continent when he knows he has me on his heels, and perhaps even you can threaten him from the south."

"That's a good start."

"How much further can we go? I'd invite some of your toughest soulcrafters to train with us, but I heard they're all putting on some sort of tournament."

Theo cleared his throat as he decided that this was the time to cash in on all the strength they'd been projecting. "This is where we need to rely on your expertise," he said. "We've seen that wars are fought over deadgold, but it was unknown on Norron before Tymetron became interested."

"Ah, that. Truth be told, even a lot of people who talk about it don't understand." Giatrice put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "And, when it comes down to it, I don't understand how the old monster can do this. You've heard about how Tymetron can place golden seals into soulhomes in order to control people?"

"Of course, though they haven't been doing it to anyone on Norron."

"That's because the material is limited: it all comes from Plutalgion himself. Logically, he must soulcraft it, but it almost seems like..." Giatrice shrugged abruptly. "Doesn't matter. What's important is that it works, and it's a dangerous weapon for obvious reasons."

"What do you mean 'control'?" Guchiro asked.

"It depends on the individual and the soulhome. For those with mental chambers, a seal could actually influence or control their behavior, particularly limiting them in certain ways. I know that some we've recovered have been physically unable to attack anyone else with a similar seal."

For the first time Guchiro's face displayed a response: his eyes narrowed slightly. Fiyu was shifting as well, and Theo could imagine just how terrible Ichili would find such an invasion. Not that it was much better for others, and Giatrice continued blithely.

"It has different effects in Corporeal chambers, of course," she explained, "depending on the nature. But even in normal rooms, if the gold is forced into a soulhome, it can arrest cantae flow. So you see how these seals are a flexible weapon: they can cripple, disable, or even control."

"And is deadgold a counter to it?" Theo guessed.

"More than that, it's actively derived from the weaponized version. When modified, it prevents any further gold from entering the soulhome. A seal against a seal, so to speak. And once you have it working, it can defend against some of the common Tymetronese techniques that leverage their own gold."

"I saw that Plutalgion used some abilities formed of liquid gold..."

"Hah, I wouldn't count on it to defend you from him." Giatrice shifted her full attention to Theo and gave a stiff sort of nod. "You were the one who helped us retrieve the deadgold from the ocean, weren't you? That was a large deposit, because it was produced when Plutalgion and I fought. Tymetron is fully aware of the war over deadgold, so they try not to let it fall into our hands. Beware, living gold can sometimes kill the person who bears it, eliminating the soulhome and thus itself."

"We figured that all of Tymetron's enemies wanted deadgold for a reason like that," Theo said. "Have we convinced you to invest some in us? Tymetron may not be using it on Norron yet, but surely that will change if the war heats up."

Abruptly Giatrice plunged a hand into her chest, then a moment later dropped four golden plates onto the floor with a calamitous ringing. Each was taller than the average person, though they must be compressed within a soulhome. Theo could tell they were the same material as the hunk of deadgold he'd seen, but these seals had clearly been refined.

"You've impressed me enough, sure, and you could have stolen all the deadgold earlier." Giatrice gestured down at the plates. "I can't pledge to defend your continent, but I'll officially give these to you. This is about the minimum volume to be an effective shield, and I soulcrafted these myself. Do with them as you will, so long as you use them to make trouble for old Plutalgion. Heh, it'd be nice for someone else to be a thorn in his side."

The best usage would probably be as leverage, to get more allies in their alliance, but Theo realized that was a non-starter because they were present as official representatives. Though as soon as he considered that, he realized that there was another concern.

"Will Tymetron find out about your gift?" he asked.

"Of course they will." Giatrice shrugged. "We have techniques to search people for seals, but they have ordinary spies too. If you're worried about putting a target on your chest, it will, but it seems like Plutalgion has it out for you anyway."

"Actually, that isn't my concern. Can you officially announce that you've given us only one piece of deadgold and keep the others off the records?"

The old woman's eyebrows rose and the little sparkle in her eyes suggested that they could have gotten along over a drink. "Oh? That will make everyone think I evaluate you worse, but sure. Hope you have more interesting plans than just taking them yourself."

"I hope so too," Theo said as he held her gaze.

They spoke for a little while after that, discussing some final details regarding communication and coordination, but Giatrice really was an incredibly busy woman. Soon enough they were interrupted by an attack in another part of the Gold Wastes and she disappeared into a weirkey, leaving the rest of them to be ushered out of the terraced palace.

With four pieces of military-grade deadgold hidden within their soulhomes. That was a success by any standard.

On their way out, Nauda slipped closer to him, eyes narrow. "Just what are you thinking, keeping most of what she gave us off the record?"

"Just negotiating our position," Theo said with a smile. "Those details might do more for the war than any battle."

-

Chapter 13

The meeting had been a great success, but Nauda wasn't convinced by all of these grand negotiations over deadgold. Not that she believed they didn't matter, she was convinced of that, she simply couldn't connect to economic abstractions in the way she did direct battles... or people. These days, she spent a lot of time thinking about people.

One of her first moves, during the interim before they could meet with the leaders of Norron, was to petition for getting one of the deadgold discs to Navim. Theo had been completely on her side as soon as she pitched the idea, he just hadn't thought about it because he was focused on the politics.

Each of them was holding one, so Nauda delivered her own. It covered a large portion of Navim's work table, so she ended up shifting it around, not quite satisfied. "Should I just move it somewhere else?" she asked.

"I can manipulate it myself," Navim said, tapping together some of his limbs demonstratively. "But thank you for this, it will be quite interesting to work with."

"No problem." Nauda stepped closer and put a hand on the top of one stony limb. "If it was up to me, we'd let you take one of these and do everything you could with it, but unfortunately they have to go to national leaders."

"Since I already had a raw sample, working with the refined material will be instructive. All I need is a sample of the gold seals used to bind people and I may be able to uncover the entire process."

"Do so if you can, because the Gold Wastes soulcrafters are keeping quiet about the details. I'd like to stay and chat, but... it isn't too long before we leave, so I should probably let you work."

Navim shifted his core from side to side. "I understand the need for urgency. There is a war on, after all, even if we are not fighting on the front lines."

As she flew back to House Blacksilver, Nauda considered those words. She was constantly working to prepare herself or others for a war with Tymetron, but honestly the reality of it didn't settle in her. From this distance, the war was all abstractions, so it didn't feel real.

Meeting Giatrice, however, had reminded her of just how far she had to go. She had been able to face off against a Dominion with a little help from Theo, but they needed to fight even greater threats. Since her ascension she had been soulcrafting bricks as fast as she could, and unfortunately even though the new tier hadn't been difficult, it was going to take a long time. Until she could put together at least one room, she couldn't increase her strength like the others would.

Still, there was nothing to do but keep working. Nauda returned to the training courtyard of the original Blacksilver complex, and to her surprise Fiyu slipped out of the sky not long afterward. That couldn't be a coincidence, so she must have been waiting.

"Hello, Nauda." Fiyu smiled that shy smile that made Nauda's heart ache. "Are you going to soulcraft?"

"That was the plan," Nauda said. "Did you have something else in mind?"

"I don't want to distract you, but you have been working so hard... might I take a look at the crestflower? I meant to ask earlier, but we have been so busy..."

"Oh, I'm happy to show you. Please come in."

They settled into a comfortable position and Fiyu reached over to touch Nauda's knee in order to enter her soulhome. That should have been encouraging, because even this was a huge advancement: when they had met, Fiyu would never have touched her so easily and comfortably. Yet now it only made the distance still between them painfully clear.

Once inside, Nauda did her best to refocus on the soulcrafting, since she really was proud of her work. "Come this way," she said as she guided Fiyu's spirit. "The flower actually bloomed a while back, and it's everything we'd hoped."

When they reached the central garden, Fiyu released a happy gasp, which almost made all the work worth it on its own. Normal crestflowers bloomed with three pointy red leaves, but their seed produced different colors: one in blood red, one in bone white, one in the deepest black.

"This is my part, isn't it..." Fiyu's spiritual hands brushed through the black portion. "Yes, this is definitely my cantae. How remarkable, that the flower can carry so much of us, and still grow..."

"I was fairly sure it would work," Nauda said as she knelt down beside the flower. "We've spent so long soulcrafting together, there's a synchronization between us that would never exist naturally. I'm not sure if the flower would work in anyone else's soulhomes, but I'm fairly sure all three of us can use these. Just let it finish growing so I can harvest the seeds."

"This is a lovely symbol, but do you have plans for it?"

"Well, right now it isn't powerful enough for use in our soulhomes, but I think it should grow stronger as the soil enriches it. I want the two of you to try planting one as well, just to see what happens. It's already a unique resource for us, so we just need to improve it as much as possible."

"That was very clever, Nauda. I would be happy to accept a seed once it's ready."

"How long are we going to keep doing this?" Nauda realized it was a mistake even as the words left her mouth, but it was too late. Fiyu only looked confused, not offended, staring at her impenetrably... trying to pretend otherwise would be wrong, so Nauda pressed forward. "Exchanging symbols, I mean. When is all of this... enough for you?"

"Oh dear." Fiyu's spirit stared at her for a time, then vanished.

For a second Nauda's heart dropped into her stomach, then it rebounded painfully as she realized Fiyu was still beside her physically. Waiting. Nauda took a deep breath within her soulhome, then emerged to have what she feared would be a difficult conversation.

"Are you unhappy, Nauda?" Fiyu asked, her voice very small. "I've been so happy in our relationship, I feel like we've been circling closer and closer to one another..."

"Of course we have." Nauda wanted to reach out and touch her arm, but settled for a smile. "I just... do you know how long it has been since the relationship began?"

"I know everything for me moves... very slowly, by your standards. But I want you to be my lifemate, Nauda. For ever and always. I'm sorry to make you wait, but it isn't so long, is it?"

"No, of course not."

Now Nauda was feeling guilty, and the worst part was that Fiyu wasn't doing this as a manipulative tactic. Someone else might have, but she was simply stating her feelings completely guilelessly. Nauda had already blundered into this, and it couldn't be stuffed back into the box, so she rubbed her forehead and tried to reorder her thoughts.

"What would happen on Tatian?" Fiyu asked quietly.

"That would depend on us. There would be a commitment ceremony, of course. Binding us together both by our own names and in the community. I don't care about the second part, but..."

"What can I do to help?" Fiyu wiggled a little closer, then reached out and touched her knee again. "You have been very patient, Nauda, I understand that. All relationships require compromise. I don't want to demand that everything be as I want, so I... umm..."

This was getting more and more awkward, and the last thing Nauda wanted to do was feel like she was pressuring Fiyu, but the other woman seemed so earnest. She couldn't bear it if she came this far and then just suppressed her feelings again.

"Can I kiss you?" Nauda asked. "I don't mean a peck on the cheek."

"That isn't so bad." Fiyu shifted closer, her usual grace disappearing into a strange awkwardness. Nauda shifted closer and touched the side of the other woman's face, not quite believing that she could. But Fiyu reached up and caressed her arm, very gently, as if encouraging her.

So Nauda leaned in and they kissed, for real this time. She was hesitant at first, then more passionate when Fiyu didn't pull away. Her hand slid into the other woman's silky black hair, pulling her into the fierce kiss. When Fiyu's other hand slid to her neck, holding them close, a new fire lit within Nauda that she didn't think could be quenched.

And yet they had to stop. Even though Fiyu seemed to be enjoying it, she was also trembling a little. When she pulled back, she was breathing heavily and her face was flushed.

"That was... very nice.." Fiyu pulled back, evading her gaze. "We can do it again, I want to, but... this is a lot, for me. Usually our relationships don't move this quickly."

"I understand." It was a lot easier to smile at Fiyu this time, even though Nauda was struggling with feelings of her own. "We can find a path between us, right? One that we can both walk?"

"Of course we can." Fiyu leaned in to kiss her, much more briefly this time, then suddenly pulled back. "We will meet again, Nauda. I will look forward to it."

She disappeared into shadows within a few seconds, leaving Nauda alone in the courtyard.

That had gone well... right? Nauda had managed to voice her frustration and Fiyu hadn't been angry or insisted that everything move according to the glacial Ichili pace. As much as Nauda wanted more, she was happy to wait, so long as the arcs of their lives took them closer together.

~

By the time Fiyu was safely back in her room, her heart was no longer slamming against the walls of her chest, but her entire body was still burning as if she had just survived near death. Friend Nauda was so warm, so intense... the passion that Fiyu felt when they touched had been only a portent of the inferno when they kissed.

It felt wonderful, and scary, and overwhelming, and just too much all at once. Fiyu knew in a distant part of her mind that many people could meet and fall in love and be intimate in a short time and somehow think that all of that was normal...

After the kiss she knew that it wasn't, not for her. Fiyu lay back on her bed and began a breathing exercise, willing herself to calm down. Yet it was so difficult not to think about what had happened and to spiral into a path of speculation and worry.

Was Friend Nauda actually impatient and frustrated with her? It had been years, after all, and Fiyu knew that was considered abnormal on many worlds. Friend Nauda had already been very patient and understanding, and this had lulled Fiyu into a sense of complacency. She had begun to believe that they could proceed like an Ichili relationship and there would be no more troubles.

What truly terrified her, what turned all the fire in her body to ice, was the idea that they might discover a gap between them that proved impossible to cross. Fiyu had seen rushed relationships go bad before, and she didn't think she was being purely irrational: this was rushing her, and her body physiologically reacted to the intimacy in a way she hadn't expected.

So it was possible that Fiyu would rush as fast as she possibly could and that it still wouldn't be enough.

If that turned out to be true, would she be placing Friend Nauda in a terribly unfair position? It would be morally wrong to demand a relationship where only one party had to compromise, yet Fiyu knew that she had her own limits. How far had Friend Nauda already been pushed? Even though Fiyu analyzed her every movement closely, she had still missed this, thinking her potential lifemate was similar enough to an Ichili that she could relax.

Breathing exercises were not helping. Fiyu sat up and went to seek her elder relative.

Relative Guchiro was still in Norro Yorthin for a few more days, making dramatic appearances on the battlefield before he returned to his own private journeys. That was a reasonable compromise, one where both sides got what they wanted. Compromises seemed so much more difficult when they involved intimate relationships.

She found her relative in another Blacksilver headquarters, and to her shock he was actually injured. The dark bandages over one arm finally displaced some of the troubled emotions, though only with a different kind. Fiyu rushed past several Blacksilver guards to reach her relative's side.

"Are you well?" she asked. "What happened?"

"Tymetron has some strong Dominions." Guchiro grimaced as he moved his shoulder, but he demonstrated a full range of motion. "Don't worry, there will be no long term harm. The war is getting rougher, though. Tymetron is escalating its raids."

"I wish there was something I could do..." Fiyu's instinct was to go and bring Friend Nauda, to give her relative one of those honeycakes, but that thought only brought back the mire of emotions...

"Forget it," Relative Guchiro said, "you clearly had something else you wanted to talk about."

Fiyu took a deep breath and told him about what had happened. She had expected some sort of strong reaction, which could have ranged from a lesson to a reprimand, yet her relative only nodded slightly. Frustrated, Fiyu stopped trying to sort through her emotions and just fell into silence.

"She lasted longer than I expected," Relative Guchiro said simply. "I told you, other species don't work the way we do. It isn't simply culture, it's biological. Read their stories of love at some point and you'll see."

"I, umm, have read some," Fiyu said. "In order to better understand Nauda. But I thought those must be... dramatizations."

"Sometimes, but not always. You found a good woman, if she's willing to be this patient for you."

"You... don't disapprove?" Fiyu blinked in surprise. "I thought you would say that this meant... that maybe it would be impossible between us."

"Only the two of you can determine that." Relative Guchiro reached out his uninjured arm and touched her shoulder gently, and she felt his lips smile beneath his mask. "I haven't seen a relationship between these worlds work, but you've done some things I never expected. You've gone the point beyond where I can advise you, my ward. All I can say is that you shouldn't give up before you're sure."

In a way, Fiyu had hoped that he would have a clear answer for her. Reassurance would have been easiest, but even a clear negative would have helped calm the chaotic feelings inside her. Yet this... was also right. She had always known that one day she would need to make such decisions for herself, without an elder relative to guide her.

The simple fact that Friend Nauda had received even that level of approval was a small encouragement, and Fiyu enjoyed the rest of her time with her relative. Apparently the injury meant that his absence would be even more expected, so he would be returning to Ichil soon. They spoke a little more before they parted to their own work.

Except that Fiyu didn't really have work, only worries. She would do the best she could, but in this more than in any battle, she feared that her best might not be enough.