sadboyz : Sad Boyz Nightz #98 - "Navigating The World of Dating Apps"

wowww i feel so seen by the dating discussion

Taryn Allen

2025-11-24 06:17:47 +0000 UTC

It's so interesting hearing them talk about weed as someone who smokes a lot every day, like Im not one of those stoners who's not like "its healthy, its not an addiction" it obviously is its very hard to stop its just like one of the least bad for your health probably and it helps lol

Hunter Cadima

2025-08-15 17:25:35 +0000 UTC

It felt like Anastasia was somehow speaking from my experience lmao. Nonbinary queer female doesn't want kids. Impossible for most , but especially my family, to comprehend. Thanks for talking about it

SnowBall

2025-04-23 23:38:15 +0000 UTC

I'm always curious about dating apps, I think it would be fun to just peruse the local wares- But logistically it's not feasible for me at the moment. But it's definitely interesting hearing people talk about it!!

ROTTENDECOMP

2025-03-17 13:46:32 +0000 UTC

1000%, I judge not political and moderate more than conservative because brother you are lying

Chris Smith

2025-03-11 17:29:15 +0000 UTC

what jordan is forgetting to factor in for this hypothetical battle is that he never learned the speed attacks that can only be taught in the Peeps stage

Drawn at Random

2025-03-03 04:15:44 +0000 UTC

Peeps is so real for discussing queer dating logistics!!! I love community representation 💕💕💕🫡

Em Crawford

2025-02-28 09:49:30 +0000 UTC

let me know if/when you find out which episode it’s from plz

Em Crawford

2025-02-28 09:47:54 +0000 UTC

tbh the way i read "not political" is "has enough privilege to not have to care about politics" and that's somehow worse than the other options

dee

2025-02-20 06:15:32 +0000 UTC

My style has also been "download dating app, go on 2 dates, delete dating app for year(s)" but after a couple of cycles i did meet my fiancé on a dating app anyway so going on dates every week/day is not the only way to achieve succes! :p

greenbeanmill

2025-02-18 21:45:42 +0000 UTC

ive seen a good few tiktoks of some guys in sahvana(?) type climate wishing anime charecters happy birthday. idk if theyre running the account or if people keep paying them to do this but they could be from the same company that tom mcdonald is using

Hannah Murphy

2025-02-18 21:05:25 +0000 UTC

As an aroace woman I've both had the "you'll change your mind" conversations about having children and about dating. It gets so tiring.

Amalie Lind Hansen

2025-02-10 18:03:11 +0000 UTC

I totally get that feeling of thinking you're "Ace". I haven't had that kind of drive in a while (could be partially because of my meds?), nor have I had just a basic crush on someone for a while to where I question myself. Granted, since I'm in a mostly red county in CA, the dating pool is awful here. I hope you all have some better luck in the apps soon!

Eric Swisher

2025-02-10 17:55:50 +0000 UTC

After my most recent dating experience, i would say not being eager to date someone doesn't enjoy "vices" the same way as you is very valid. The person I dated said he didn't drink much anymore but he didn't mind if i did. I let him know from early on that I drank (and yes, i can put them back lol), and when we would go out I would pay for my own alcoholic beverages since i knew he didn't. Every now and again, we would enjoy a beer or a glass of wine together, with him at times being the one to provide said wine, one instance being in his own home. Not once has he ever complained about my drinking, my behavior, or otherwise. Fast forward some weeks, it's a friday night and i bring over some tequila for my own consumption while we planned on watching hulu together, only for him to disappear most of the evening and next morning/afternoon, while I'm in his home alone. The situation ended with him berating me, comparing how much I drank to both women and men he knew, telling me i disrespected his home and him as well as his faith, and outright calling me an alcoholic and an addict. I was very hurt (truthfully i have been reevaluating my relationship with alcohol and i'd confided in him in that before we even got to this point), and truly did my best to examine my own habits and behaviors around him. But upon further reflection I realized how inconsistent his "boundaries" were for himself and me, such as us being intimate before marriage even though he's muslim, wine being okay but liquor crossing the line, and comparing me to others esp previous people he dated. i pointed that out to him, and he very begrudgingly acknowledged my perspective, with no apology at all. I later asked him what experiences made him have such an angry reaction to alcohol/liquor and it's only then when i found out that he's had several alco/drug addicts in his family/friend group, some of whom had assaulted ppl, that he himself was diagnosed with alcoholic use disorder (so an alcoholic, just like he called me) AND tried to drink himself to death resulting in hospitalization, roughly 11 years from the date of this very incident. I was floored by how hypercritical, hypocritical, and uncaring he felt justified in being over triggers he never identified until then, especially as someone 7+ years older than me and has been married previously. Of course this isn't every situation with ppl who don't

Khirsten H

2025-02-09 05:37:51 +0000 UTC

for some reason knowing that other 30-something-year-olds have the same struggles that I do with dating, especially when y’all are 1) good looking cuties and 2) in a big city, makes me feel way better tbh

Grace

2025-02-08 06:23:55 +0000 UTC

The story about dating within friend groups is so funny because in middle school mind, my entire friend group {three others all had various dating experiences or attempted dating experiences with each other} except me which was funny because they couldn’t figure out what I was, B. Another close friend was visibly “Ewgh wouldn’t date {me} that’s my sister they’re not attractive” and I’m sitting right there eating my lunch like okay?? No one asked. I never dated anyone in school or any sort of crush ever because for awhile I was like “Eh maybe I’m ace and no one likes me lol”

Minako Moose

2025-02-08 03:17:35 +0000 UTC

LMAO @ 38min I am a queer woman who just started dating a girl on my friends' gay kickball team..... and we all hang out all the time....

Amanda M

2025-02-07 18:00:08 +0000 UTC

Long time not wanting kids guy here. I have been told I will change my mind many many times. Quite frustrating.

Sean Sanders

2025-02-07 04:10:07 +0000 UTC

Love the discussion in this! Dating, dating with children ect. I never wanted children and fell pregnant at 21. Do I love my now 6 year old? Yes! I’m I still in my 20’s and still not want more children? Also yes. Dating as a single parent is a rough environment.

Indi B

2025-02-07 01:10:15 +0000 UTC

Did think I could justify the cost of the Patron but then I did the math:- 240isg minutes a month for $9.90aud- 0.04125c aud.

Indi B

2025-02-07 01:03:35 +0000 UTC

Yeah I’ve kinda made it a thing to just ask him to play his video games or whatever, I see him up a separate room in my home with his pic and everything. However I still just need like 2-3 nights a week alone I think 🙃

Chloee

2025-02-05 22:39:23 +0000 UTC

We have 'astronaut time' where we declare independence from each other for a few hours and the person who declared astronaut time is the one to end it. Rn my partner came home and said she needed to chill and I've been watching this and doing dishes while she plays video games.

Bryce Corrigan

2025-02-05 22:37:33 +0000 UTC

My partner and I got very lucky. We met on a dating app literally the first day we both downloaded the app and connected over nerd stuff. Talked for a month before meeting because of distance but it's been three years and still going well. I keep saying we should be in a Taimi advert.

Bryce Corrigan

2025-02-05 22:36:18 +0000 UTC

I’ve been having the same annoyance when it comes to politics on hinge tbh. I’ve just started ignoring anyone that doesn’t explicitly state they are a leftist/liberal on their profile…

sarahbear

2025-02-05 17:46:10 +0000 UTC

Can confirm as a lesbian, a friend sat down and explained to me that my girlfriend and I were dating 😂

Max

2025-02-04 23:34:47 +0000 UTC

Genuine questions for Jordan, or anyone else Ina a Good relationship that also love’s solitude, how do you have the relationship and also communicate your needs for solitude without hurting any feelings?! Asks I’ve already tried the “don’t take it personally” route. Seems like no one can understand my need for genuine alone time and space… but I still love them

Chloee

2025-02-04 20:33:01 +0000 UTC

hahaha they have a few months ago in a pod and it was hilarious! i forget the episode but i can try to find it - it was on the main channel!

Cari Whyte

2025-02-04 16:58:54 +0000 UTC

can the boyz please address jordan's one sided twitter beef with elmo I find it really distressing and unsettling. elmo is only 3 1/2 years old. a neurodivergent minor

Aled

2025-02-04 16:32:54 +0000 UTC

Peeps is just like me fr when I see someone say their ideal first date is “getting high and doin something” I always say no because that’s just not something I want to do and it makes me feel lame lol

Hels64

2025-02-04 06:21:10 +0000 UTC

i feel SO seen when anastasia was talking about not having kids, i’ve always known i didn’t want kids and it’s been frustrating to defend it my whole life

nickyyy777

2025-02-03 23:06:36 +0000 UTC

Same exact experience, ace queer and don't drink!

Lance Elliott

2025-02-03 21:30:45 +0000 UTC

I'm demiromantic and I totally relate to the dating thing, I can't do dating apps. I feel nothing.

Lance Elliott

2025-02-03 21:28:18 +0000 UTC

i totally feel where peeps is coming from with the crushes on friends thing. semi-related, im a demi lesbian but i indentified as just ace for like 7 years because i had romantic crushes on friends but never once felt any kind of sexual attraction to anyone until i met my current girlfriend of over 3 years, and then i just realized that i canNOT form that kind of attraction with someone unless i know it's reciprocated and i feel close to them

ram

2025-02-03 17:57:25 +0000 UTC

true i also think my autism helps but my ocd makes up other rules to get in my way on purpose and that's so annoying 'cause i wouldn't have those issues otherwise! a pottery date is so cute though

elliot lea

2025-02-03 05:37:50 +0000 UTC

the brother's girlfriend thing is crazy, even more so the dating within a friend group 'cause y'all i ran out of lesbian options in my city 'cause of factors like those ones 😭😭

elliot lea

2025-02-03 05:35:34 +0000 UTC

i really enjoyed this episode as someone who just turned 18 and is considering tackling the world of dating apps haha

DakotaTalks

2025-02-03 00:31:47 +0000 UTC

I recommend anxiety meds, I was the exact same and they really helped me get my life back

Sav

2025-02-02 18:59:00 +0000 UTC

Thank God I'm autistic and don't follow these weird made up social rules. Also I met my fiancé on hinge! Our first date was painting pottery, something I can do with my hands but also can talk :3

Sav

2025-02-02 18:55:18 +0000 UTC

This episode lowkey stressed me out because of my own past online dating experiences. Thankfully I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now and it's everything I've ever wanted from a relationship (my first). On pretty much all my first dates I've been on including with my girlfriend we went to the movies. 1. Because it's a cheap date for me as I work at a cinema (i didn't take them to where I work though) 2. Because I get really anxious being around new people and for me just sitting with them in the cinema watching the movie helps me be less anxious. And then with like a meal after the movie I'm a lot more confident and less scared. I know that some people would totally disagree with that which is so fair but this works and worked for me. As for the preferences thing. I wouldn't date someone who smokes or does drugs. I can't handle any kind of smoke cigarette or wood fire etc. And I just think it's gross. I don't drink at all and never have just not something that interests me and I find the smell of most alcohol very off-putting and I know that if I don't like the smell of something I don't like the taste. Part of me is scared of not having full control of my actions but I know alcohol doesn't work like that lol. I don't mind if my partner drinks or not though. My girlfriend drinks very rarely and I never control what she drinks (neither of us have cars so that's not a factor in this) but cost is also quite prohibitive so usually we get soft drink instead lol. And yes I'd only be with someone who agreed with my politics because I just can't with conservatives or apolitical people. That's enough for my essay lol

Malachy Hamilton

2025-02-02 16:34:07 +0000 UTC

I met my now wife on Tinder, and while the first month or 2 was a struggle im really happy i kept pushing on because we are so good and healthy and supportive for each other. A loving T4T couple. So i relate to peeps comments alot bc i saw alot of that shit on there. Hang in there jarvis you might find someone 🫶

nightmare-on-kelp-street

2025-02-02 14:57:35 +0000 UTC

I find dating apps so exhausting as a queer asexual, especially not living in a particularly big population center, and being someone who doesn't drink. It's a combination that basically limits my options to.... About nobody, nowhere, doing nothing.

TrueLily

2025-02-02 14:38:18 +0000 UTC

Anastasia and Peeps described my relationship with dating apps almost exactly. I'm currently in the "I haven't used an app in years and am trying on the label aromantic" phase in the cycle. It would be a huge win if in the next couple years I got a crush to clarify some of that for me. One nice thing though, is that I have quite a strong friend group these days that have proven to me that I'm likable as I am. Maybe I can avoid so much of the second guessing in conversations this time around. Maybe '25 is a good year to install one of these apps again and get out a bit.

Dan

2025-02-02 02:08:19 +0000 UTC

Listening to Jarvis get “technical” about ai and computer stuff actually makes me feel like I know what’s going on and I’m a lil smarty pants listening to my lil smarty pants podcast so def keep doing that pls!!

abby geiser

2025-02-02 00:22:36 +0000 UTC

About the AI convo on the main episode: the podcast On the Media had a really interesting interview this week about Deep Seek and how all the tech companies are just scamming us for money for AI. Definitely worth a listen.

Andrea Frailey

2025-02-01 22:45:31 +0000 UTC

I am SO ANNOYED at the lack of anything left of liberal on dating apps. DX At least let me call myself progressive.

Nicole Benson

2025-02-01 21:43:24 +0000 UTC

My tinder bio just said ‘if you’re a Tory don’t message me’ lmao

Ellen Ringrose

2025-02-01 19:59:38 +0000 UTC

The DBZ tapes in the background really make me miss my Trunks Saga VHS boxset

Emily Tetreault

2025-02-01 19:21:23 +0000 UTC

I really relate to Peeps on this one. I had a friend who casually told me he was into guys. He had also come out as pan in the past. We hung out all the time, got quite close, and would hold hands and stuff. When I asked if his family knew he liked guys, he was like "what do you mean? I'm straight." I'm sorry what 🫠 So I told him how I felt and how I was confused, but I was like ok, move on, just be friends. But he didn't want to hang out with me anymore so I lost that friendship and sort of drifted away from our mutual friends. I just don't understand people fr

Daniel

2025-02-01 18:11:11 +0000 UTC

depends on what kind of socks you like but i bought Hanes Supersoft Slouch Crews at target while back and they're great! especially for someone with feet that are usually a little too big for one-size-fits-all men's socks. thick, ribbed, comfortable, durable, and way more affordable than high-end socks (just saying this bc it's weirdly difficult to find good info online about socks for some reason)

bedrose

2025-02-01 17:19:27 +0000 UTC

I work at Calvin Klein! You should get some of our socks. They are actually really nice and very durable. My partner also has crazy toe strength. (Or bombas those are also awesome)

MJ

2025-02-01 16:52:43 +0000 UTC

I had almost this exact conversation last month. The political labels thing annoys me a lot because of other men making it hard. As a middle of the country guy Moderate and Apolitical are Conservatives trying to hide it to get more matches, Other is kind of a cop out, and Liberal doesn't describe my feelings. Also the vibes after the election were noticeably off. It felt like flirting at a funeral

Carson Lee

2025-02-01 12:29:11 +0000 UTC

'The Lakers wanna fk' killed me 😂😂

Renarchy

2025-02-01 07:48:17 +0000 UTC

I was single dating on apps for about 2years like a few dates a week. Definitely exhausting. I moved closer to the city when I was 23y I think, and matched with someone super nearby. We went on a dinner date and it was nice but I didn't feel a spark. But he got a puppy and I wanted to be around the puppy 😂 by us just hanging out we ended up creating that bond. We've been living together about 2y now. So if vibes are good but you don't feel an immediate spark, give it a chance! You never know :) On the surface my partner and I can be quite different but it works. E.g. he's not educated when it comes to politics. But, he is very open to feedback, learning and actively changing. Which is a rare quality. I'm Bi, he's straight. He's gone from using gay to mean dumb, to coming to drag shows with me!

Caitlin L'hotellier

2025-02-01 07:27:06 +0000 UTC

peeps is so relatable

bunny

2025-02-01 07:06:47 +0000 UTC

I know soooo many women who don't want kids and are pressured constantly by friends and family it's crazy. And shout out peeps I'm nonbinary and I've had the same exact experience with my parents about not wanting kids lol. Same opinion on adoption too! ❤️❤️

Lee U

2025-02-01 05:07:11 +0000 UTC

I've started darning my socks more and it's been great! I will bust thru even expensive socks