Flexing Lumensss

A new genre of modeling that has recently found me : Fitness

Just like all the other forms of modeling, it never occurred to me that I could be hired for this realm of shooting. Though I do put alot of effort into caring for my body with activity and nutrition, I would have not considered myself a 'fitness' model. If anything, the type of physical training I practice is to make sure I don't become too muscular! 

Fact about my life before modeling: I struggled a lot with my body structure. Growing up, I was often teased for my "big legs" and more athletic build... and I considered myself less desirable than most females around me that were thin and thigh gapped. I was even bullied about my ass. If I wore anything tight on my lower half, I would always tie a jacket around my waist to avoid unwanted cruel attention. I definitely had a huge body complex as a teenager and into my early twenties. 

I cannot explain the relief that I felt when celebrity icons (like Jennifer Lopez) entered the scene and started to change what was considered "feminine beauty".... as the world changed, I was able to breathe and relax about my own body. It has only been in the past couple years that I have truly felt at peace with my self confidence and felt a full sense of love for my body as whole. 

The true pivot point was this career. Not only am I being hired for the body I have to offer but I'm also surrounded by so many other body types that are all unique and beautiful. The deeper I dig into this career, the more comfortable and truly happy I am in my own skin. I have been able to truly admire others for their beauties and genuinely lift them up. True support and admiration can only come through if we are sincerely happy with ourselves. When we are, there is no room for any type of negativity towards others. 

With that being said... I am not immortal and deal with human feelings that sneak up on me from time to time. But I have promised myself that if I ever allow this career to become toxic, I will have to quit. And that would be a total shame as I know I would loose something so valuable in my life... just over petty self doubt that is only a figment of my imagination. 

When I feel discomfort with my body, I focus on solving the problem. In healthy sense: adjust my diet, switch up my workout routine or spend some self care time. Not only do I need to care for the physical feelings but I must also tap into my mental state and what helps me clear my mind: taking dance classes, being creative, reading, writing or spending time with others that are good for the soul.