[Slimy Slime] Chapter 37: The Horde

[Hey, I don't normally do this, but I've retconned something. In Chapter 28, Krrrgg, talks about her village some more. Saying how it's small and a few small details about her tribe. I've removed all of that. It wasn't much, but it's important that it's gone for this chapter.] 

You know… I may have forgotten that I very technically started a territory war and then beat one side into submission.

One side… but not the other.

What am I supposed to do about this?! That’s an army! Or at least a battallion. Fifty Goblins?! Headed straight for my home? This time of year, this time of day, localized entirely in my dungeon radius?! Give a slime break!

Should I… attack them?

NO! What am I thinking?! The wolves were one thing but the goblins would be another. Stupid, small, naked, ugly, and one hundred one things they were. But they also were many. Wolves inherently were pack animals, regardless of fantasy magic nonsense. Goblins though?

I made a slimy grimace.

Goblins would mindlessly attack relentlessly until enough of them were dead. I was almost 100% damn sure on that. They just weren’t smart enough otherwise. I’d seen the goblins Krrrgg had brought over. Till they evolved and had some time to bump up that intellect, they were essentially at the level of a child, at best. A stupid child. Killing them wouldn’t be hard, but my mana would start to run dry. My fists were only nearly effortless. Breaking fifty bodies, that were attacking said fists, would really be a workout… like trying to destroy a dozen punching bags in a row.

Decision time. Murder now or murder later? Wait! Isn’t Krrrgg a [Goblin Captain]?! Maybe no murder is needed at all! She can just go out and deal with them.

Having thought that, I zoomed past, flying in the direction they were heading. I hadn’t exactly gotten lost, but I knew they had an innate sense of my where dang dungeon core was. Might as well take the direct approach.

It took a while, even at the speed of flight, to reach back to my base but finally! It was there. I wasted no time, practically speeding through my door with haste. I immediately paused at what I was seeing.

Krrrgg was there, sitting and talking to Michael and Sandra. That was fine by itself but… it looked they hadn’t moved all day! Not only that… all the other goblins were around them, sitting and listening with rapt attention.

“Cran-berry. Crrraannn-Berryyy.” Sandra said, baby in her arms and suckling milk, lightly rocking her.

“Cran…berry.” Not only Krrrgg but all the goblins said at the same time.

Wow… that made murdering the fifty of them coming a harder task. Why can’t you be mindless murder machines?! Well… only that!

Krrrgg noticed me and smiled.

“Slimy Slime.” She said, in much better Common than I expected from just a single day. It wasn’t really the words so much, as I’d told her my name. But her way of speaking had gotten a lot better! A few more weeks and months and she might really learn the language!

“Krrrgg.” I replied in Goblin. “There’s many, many Goblins approaching. Can you convince them to… not attack us? Maybe get them to join your ‘side’?”

Unexpectedly, Krrrgg’s face went absolutely white. We’d luckily worked on the intricacies of Goblin and could have normal conversations, but most of the other goblins were left in the dust. That was fine, soon we’d all speak Common and forget such a terrible, awful language ever existed at all.

“How many?” Krrrgg asked. I was confused but there was a word in Goblin, thankfully, for fifty.

Hearing the number, she immediately let out a massive sigh of relief. Then her gaze hardened and she licked her lips.

“We eat them.” She said and the other goblins roared in approval. Michael and Sandra startled, not knowing what was going on. So did I and I did know what was going on.

“Wait… don’t you want to… I don’t know, recruit them?”

“We kill and eat them. Recruit the ones left alive. Many goblins will come, so it’s not a problem. It’ll help make us stronger!” She said with a smile.

I was torn… part of me wanted to say ‘no no no, let’s all make nice, surely you can handle fifty more goblins and it’s not like making a whole village is hard.’ The other part of me was going ‘oh thank god, I don’t have to deal with it. Hey, maybe I can even get in on the action and shore up my stats a little bit.’ I refused to listen to that second part of me… that way lied madness.

“Are you sure? It just seems like a waste.”

Krrrgg quirked an eyebrow and then looked at me.

“Slimy, there’s a lot of goblins out there. The Goblin Chieftain has been in power for a very, very long time. He would have eaten me sooner or later. And he’ll soon attack with… all of them. Don’t worry, we’ll get more goblins very very soon.” Krrrgg said, before patting her belly.

Wait… was Krrrgg? Right, Goblins. They reproduce fast. Also, I hadn’t forgotten the fear that had shown on Krrrgg’s face. And I had a suspicion about that.

“Krrrgg… how many goblins does the [Goblin Chief] have to attack me with?”

Krrrgg’s face paled again and rather than answer me, she picked up a stick and drew a number. Numbers must be universal, because of the system.

100

Ha, yeah, I wish. That’d be nice.

1,000

Yeah, that sounds about right. A lot of goblins but I can handle it-

10,000

O….kay. That…. That…. What?! That’s too many! Ten thousand goblins?! How on earth am I suppose to handle that many?! No, how on earth does the [Goblin Chief] handle that many! That’s way too much, way too much! Where are they all getting the food?! The mass? They have to live in the forest, that’s not a village or a tribe… that’s a straight up large town!

Fuck me.

Alright, fine. I just have to kill… ten thousand goblins and their chief. Wait, no! It’s even worse than that isn’t it?! Can’t they just reproduce and send out waves infinitely at me?! Wait, wait, calm. That takes time at the very least. Time I’ll need to use to make my ‘dungeon’ a god damn fortress! Forget becoming a dungeon with lower levels and all that nonsense, I needed to have more than just wooden walls-

100,000.

My soul left my body… as I lifelessly looked at Krrrgg. No…. no…. That can’t be. That can’t…. Possibly be.

“That’s impossible!” I screamched, loud enough to cause baby Tilia to begin to cry.

“[Goblin Chief]....” Krrrgg started. “Is very close to becoming a [Goblin King].”

At those words, every other goblin shivered in fear.

Fuck me! Fuck fuck fuck fuck. That’s…. What is with this ramp up in difficulty?! I thought this was the wolf forest, not the goblin forest! How many fucking wolves are there for them to be able to eat that many and hold such a population?! Just….. What?!

My only saving grace is that the [Goblin Chief] is a coward. Otherwise not only would there be infinite goblins, there’d also be [Hobgoblins], [Goblin Captains] and so many more. I remember seeing the Goblin line while dead, they had many potential evolutions.

First the damn wolf, now this?! And there are worse things further in the forest? I can’t even leave or escape! Forget thirty mile radius, a one hundred thousand goblins will corner me and smash me into paste. I’d be forced to hide under ground forever and pray and hope I survive. They’ll bury me in bodies.

And if they start evolving… I was still stuck as an [Acid Slime]! Krrrgg would give me a run for my money, let alone a dozen [Goblin Captains].

For the first time, I realized that true war was approaching. Not a battle or a mere forest time attack. If the [Goblin Chief] wasn’t an idiot… he’d sooner or later learn that I had limits. A barrier. That I couldn’t leave and attack him. It might take a while to discover but once he does I was finished.

I felt my soul ramp up and partially glared at Krrrgg.

“Why didn’t you mention this earlier?!”

Krrrgg grimaced. “...I forgot?”

“Forgot my slimy ass! Don’t lie to me!”

“...I was hoping he wouldn’t attack…” Krrrgg mumbled out.

I gasped in shock. You… you bitch! You didn’t think I’d survive this fight and was hoping he just wouldn’t notice me?!

Still, now wasn’t the time for that. I needed to start working harder… and fast. If you had just told me-!

“Uhh, Slimy slime?” Michael suddenly asked. “What’s going on?”

I looked over at three humans.

“Listen… things are going to get… dangerous around here. Let’s just say that the peaceful times are over. It’s do or die. I’ll explain later. Krrrgg.”

I looked over at here. She had the good sense to at least look ashamed.

“We’re roommates. Roommates do not ‘forget’ to mention a god damn army is coming! You knew about the [Dungeon Core]! You knew goblins had come for it. You know I can’t handle that! That we can’t handle that. I could have been making preparations for war all this time… but instead, you gambled that only a ‘few’ goblins would notice and come. Well fifty goblins doesn’t sound like ‘a few’ to me. Well it’s time for your punishment. I’m going to need an army. Kill as many as the goblins you need, recruit the rest. Then you’re going to spend every waking moment finding more goblins and doing the same thing.”

“Yes chief!”

I didn’t even bother correcting her. We were in defcon ‘we are fucked’. I had some control over my slime, nothing to write home about, I mainly used it to make eyebrows that moved. Now however, I used all my considerable ability to morph the top of my slime into a General’s hat.

Gone was Slimy slime, now there was only General Slime!

I could already hear the fifty goblins approaching, they’d finally made it. I didn’t even put them into my eyes. What was fifty to a thousand? To a one hundred thousand?

“Go, deal with it.” I said and Krrrgg and all the other goblins ran out, screaming. They would not all return alive but that didn’t concern me right now. I headed towards my [Dungeon Core].

If I was going to survive this… I’d need to turn my shitty half fortress into a god damn true bastion of a City nearly overnight!