Taking advice to heart...

Change is good. That was said somewhere else before, right? I've been beating myself up for changing, becoming different than who I was, when it's all part of the process. You can't really hold on to stuff like that, all those memories accumulate and create a brand new person. All those experiences, they teach us what we stand for and what matters most to us. I was fighting a lot of it due to social conditioning, and it was only until 6 months ago I decided change was drastically needed. I needed to reach an equilibrium, because my prior views of the world were clashing with the oncoming and inevitable mental modifications. It almost feels like whatever I've been running away from for the better part of a decade has come knocking, saying it's had enough of "me", whatever that sorry excuse for a "me" that was.

Watching the world shift around me, and become more and more of the same, has relinquished me to a better role in life, by my own design. There's so much more I see now, so much I want to say, it finally feels like all those years, that calloused and hardened skin is finally shedding its final layers away with the complete and utter surrender to what is. True growth is just beginning. I feel free from all the weight of negative, redundant emotion... I see it for what it is instead of encompassing it, and while that comes with complications of it's own, it's just another thing I have to learn to be a part of.

It's hard to talk about this because of all the empty promises that are touted around frequently in certain circles, it makes you feel that your own aspirations don't mean anything socially. Misery really loves company, huh? Then what does hope like? It's probably the same thing. There needs to be more hope in the world, less hostility, less self-sabotage. Easier said than done, and even so, what do I know? I'm just here for the ride, baby. Care to join me?

I have to be thankful, if there weren't people I didn't agree with out there, what I stand for wouldn't matter. Instead of the world against one person, it became one person in the world. Just as it should be... Negativity will eat away at you like a parasite and there's no escaping it's uncomplicated comfort. It's so easy to give up, to lay down and let gravity melt you away—it's a whole other thing to get up and watch the dance and let it take you.