Sunny cafe and a woman in a summer dress (AI)

Overstuffed at the Café

The woman by the window looked like a fertility goddess come to life - her belly a perfect, taut dome stretching the emerald fabric of her dress to its limits. You'd been stealing glances all afternoon, trying to solve the mystery: Pregnant? Or just impossibly full?

When she caught your eye and smirked, you had to know.

"Mind if I join you?" you asked, sliding into the opposite chair.

She laughed, a rich sound that made her swollen belly jiggle slightly. "Depends. Are you going to ask when I'm due?"

Heat rose to your cheeks as she deliberately ran both hands over the dramatic curve. "I ate at every café on this street today," she confessed, fingers tracing the strained seams. "This dress was loose this morning."

Your eyes dropped to the table where three empty plates were stacked - pancakes, a burger with fries, and what looked like the remains of a milkshake.

When you offered to order her dessert, she bit her lip in mock hesitation. "I should stop... but their chocolate soufflé is divine."

You watched in fascinated horror as she demolished the entire dessert, her belly visibly expanding outward until it pressed against the table's edge. A quiet ping sounded as one of the dress's decorative buttons gave up and skittered across the floor.

"Oops," she giggled, not sounding sorry at all. "You're the fourth man to feed me today. At this rate I'll need to be rolled home."

She shifted uncomfortably, the dress's fabric now so thin across her midsection you could see the outline of her navel. "If I stand up, this thing might finally give out. So..." She tilted her head, challenge in her eyes. "What's your next move?"

The evidence was undeniable - that belly wasn't housing a baby, just an absolutely shameless indulgence. And from the way she kept rubbing it with satisfied little sighs, she wasn't done yet.

Your Choices:

• Call her a cab (and pretend not to notice when she has to unbutton the rest of her dress just to sit in it)

• Offer your jacket (while trying not to stare at how her belly strains against her now-see-through dress)

• Order the cheesecake (because clearly this woman has no limits, and frankly, you're enchanted)