Sean Ross Sapp's WWE Hell in a Cell live blog

24/7 Championship
R-Truth (c) defeated Drew Gulak to retain the title
5/10

• Drew Gulak has a conversation with Little Jimmy and then punts him. This sets off R-Truth.
• This match shows you glimpses fo Gulak's ability, both technically and athletically.
• Truth hit a Five Knuckle Shuffle at one point, but got a pin countering Gulak.
• Tozawa, Lince Dorado and Metalik all come out after the match and give chase.
• Drew Gulak says that John Cena sucks.

WWE Universal Championship
Hell In A Cell I Quit Match
6.5/10

• Reigns is in control early, but Uso ends up getting a suicide dive.
• Reigns cracks Uso with a spear pretty early.
• He hits an even bigger one after and screams for Uso to quit. This spear got some air.
• Uso stops a third one with a couple of kicks. Uso Splash follows.
• Uso grabs a strap and beats Reigns, but a third spear hits. Uso says he can't breathe.
• Roman's gonna give him PLEURISY!
• Uso chokes out Reigns with the strap and puts him to sleep.
• This is another match where most everyone knows the destination and the result, but the ride there is so good. Reigns and Uso are killing it again.
• Reigns grabs a guillotine choke, and Uso is asleep. They established this move nine days ago.
• Reigns cracks Uso with the stairs and asks for him to quit. The ref is pleading with Jey. Officials come out, too.
• Reigns closes the door and throws the stairs in the ring. He chases off the officials.
• Jey is out. Jimmy runs out and pleads with Roman. He says they can fix whatever they're going through.
• I'm not sure why this match was in a cell instead of just being an I Quit match.
• Roman Reigns is crying in the ring. He grabs Jimmy's hand and chokes him out.
• Jey quits to save Jimmy.
• This went on a bit too long. We're 45 minutes into the show.
• Afa and Sika honor Roman Reigns at the top of the ramp.

Elias defeated Jeff Hardy via DQ
5/10

• This must continue.
• The action is solid here. Didn't seem like they were wasting much time.
• Elias goes Electric Chair into a sitdown powerbomb.
• Elias goes outside after Whisper in the Wind, and Jeff cracks him with a guitar.
• They did hilarious zooms every time Jeff Hardy stomped the guitar.

Money In The Bank Briefcase
The Miz (w/ John Morrison) defeated Otis (contract holder) (w/ Tucker)
5/10

• I'm hoping this is the end of the interpromotional stuff after the draft. Owens even joked about it on Friday. This is the 14th Otis vs.Miz/Morrison match of some sort since January.
• Corey Graves pops Cole by claiming the United States Judicial System demanded this match.
• This is a typical Smackdown match.
• John Morrison gets involved and ejected.
• Tucker cracks Otis and Miz wins!
• Otis is the first person since 2007 (Mr. Kennedy) to lose his Money in the Bank briefcase.
• Tucker says this isn't about Miz. Heavy Machinery was supposed to be a team, but he was the workhorse and got overlooked.
• Otis runs Tucker off.
• Oh we for sure are seeing Otis and Tucker pop up on each other's shows.

WWE Smackdown Women's Championship
Hell in a Cell
Sasha Banks defeated Bayley (c) to become champion
9.25/10

• Sasha Banks and Bayley have new gear and both look in incredible shape.
• Sasha kicks Bayley's chair outside the cell.
• Sasha Banks is spamming Meteoras, and it rules. There's one running up a table, into the cell.
• Sasha Banks Spider-Mans the cage and does a turnaround head scissors on the apron. Great stuff.
• This is violent spot after violent spot. Sasha Banks and Bayley are making the most out of the cell.
• Sasha does a corkscrew sunset flip bomb into the cell.
• Bayley sends Sasha into a chair and lands a flying elbow smash. She has to fall all the way out of the ring to avoid tapping to the Banks Statement.
• "I'm so sweaty, can you do this for me?" - Bayley unrolling duct tape. She fails to tape two kendo sticks together, and gets EXTINGUISHED.
• Bayley gets a chair up when Sasha does a Frog splash!
• Bayley lays a Sasha across a ladder and spray paints her, but misses an elbow with a chair.
• Sasha does an insane Meteora off the bridged ladder into the corner. One of the sickest ever.
• Both women kick out of the Bayley to Belly.
• Another Bayley to Belly countered. Sasha Banks goes into a Banks Statement with a chair and stomps it down. SHE WINS!
• That was one of the sickest finishes, callbacks in recent memory.
• I think if this had a crowd it'd have been perfect.

WWE United States Championship
Bobby Lashley (c) defeated Slapjack to retain the title
5/10

• Lashley is throwing around Slapjack.
• Slapjack comes back with a tornado DDT.
• Slapjack is gonna get over with that ridiculous name and mask.
• Slapjack taps out to the Full Nelson.
• Retribution attacks, but Hurt Business run them off.
• Why are Retribution considered a threat at this point? Seems like Fiend and Lashley pretty well have things under control.
• Incredible build for Retribution. I'm super eager to see them get their comeuppance.

WWE Championship
Hell in a Cell
Randy Orton defeated Drew McIntyre (c) to win the title
5.5/10

• Main event time at 9:23 EST! How times have changed. I love it.
• Orton tries to attack Drew, but gets his ass kicked for it.
• Orton eventually grabs a chair and takes out Drew.
• The pace on this one is slow. I'd imagine there's a surprise at the end. Otherwise, not sure why this would be the main event.
• They have achieved the impossible and gotten out of the cage.
• Randy Orton climbs to the top of the cage, and Drew follows.
• They end up climbing down the other side. Drew McIntyre gets knocked off through a table.
• Drew McIntyre hits the Claymore.
• McIntyre missed another and Orton lands the RKO and pins McIntyre to win the title.
• So you know we're getting at least two more of these.
• Can't help but to feel like this would have been more effective if they did this before they had Orton lose a bunch of matches after his hot streak.

Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!