Vacation rambling

So. I’ve enjoyed the first week of my vacation (as much as I can, I was sick lol). Some of you already know this, but I’ve been pushing myself too hard for the last year and a… Over a year. Two years? And it got to me in the form of a burnout. I pushed through the earlier chapters by sheer power of will despite being a full-time mom, having a day job, and taking care of my dead father’s estate. Looking back on it now, I don’t know how I did it. Then, in December, I started writing full time. It was the only viable option for me at the time if I wanted to keep writing. If I didn't do that, I would’ve had to scrap this project.

Next, I had to make sure that I could get enough money out of this so I could provide for my family. If I didn’t make enough money, I would still have to look for another job and scrap everything. So, I had to push myself to write more, to write better, to research a different “genre” of writing (smut lol) to be more proficient at it, and find courage to share it to you all despite me being new at it. And, I had to learn to code in a different language. All the while feeling guilty about not writing more and more quickly.

So, there hasn’t really been any time to rest. Writing became more and more laborious, even if I still found those moments where the text wrote itself, like the Quinn’s latest short story. My days were filled with me thinking how I should write or me staring at the same sentences I’ve already written. And when I wrote, I just kept thinking how much more I should write, how nothing I wrote was enough. I felt guilty about not being active on social media, not marketing this properly, not letting those people who are not on Patreon to know how I’m doing.

I was exhausted.

Before I decided to nope out of here and run to my vacation, I tried to push myself to pull an all-nighter and finish the update like my life depended on it. But, even my body was failing lol. I felt sick to my stomach and I made the difficult decision to just give up. (Turns out I had a stomach flu that lasted for a whole week, yay.) I didn’t want to push myself anymore without getting time to recover. Pushing yourself for months and months is a one way ticket to the Burnout Land where some authors never come back from. I really didn't want to end up there.

So, I’m having a vacation. I’m recovering. I reached the point on Patreon where I don’t have to worry about money so much, where I could finally say that this is now officially my job and I don’t have to think about having another one. I can just focus on DHTB.

And that’s all thanks to you.

You all have my heartfelt thanks.

Well, anyway. This turned out to be long. Again, thank you for being here. I hope you all have a pleasant summer. I'll be back in August! (Well, I'll still write the short stories and the smut and all that but you know.)