One Anxious Man

"My Lord, it's your turn," Victoria says.

I give her a blank stare. She cannot be implying that I should do that in front of… you?

Haha. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that. Why would there be? We're both soldiers, it's to be expected. Sometimes you see your fellow soldier's bare butt. That's just how it is. I've seen plenty of male arses in my lifetime. This is nothing new. Now you're going to see mine, nothing wrong with that. 

Right?

You look at me expectantly. Oh, crap. I'm the one who's making this weird. This is totally normal, I shouldn't hesitate, otherwise, it's not normal. I should just strip and be done with it.

Why is my breathing so shallow? Ah, crap! It's more frantic than is normal for a human being in a completely normal situation.

You might think it's because I'm excited. Or aroused!

Just relax, you big oaf! You're actively making things worse! Hati will think you're a pervert!

- "Please, bare your arse right here," you say.

    Why would you say it like that?! Do you see my uncomfortable state and take advantage of it? Are you mocking me?

    You look at me like a lynx. Evil lynx.

    You're pure evil, soldier, I will remember this. I will put a sewer rat in your pants and watch you dance.

- "I'm not going to look," you reassure me.

    Oh, crap, now I made you feel like you need to reassure me. Now you definitely think that I think that this is not normal and don't think that we're not just soldiers baring our butts to each other. That I think this is something more than that.

Stop that. Just take the tunic off and be a man.

"Do you want to help my Lord to undress?" Victoria asks you as if the most normal thing.

Well, it is! But it isn't?

I almost groan at the question. Why? Why would she do that?

Of course, it's not normal for a soldier to undress his superior officer, even I know that!

Why does my heartbeat pound in my ears?

Alright, this is bad. I do not want to undress in front of you.

Why?

Well, because.

Why?

Agh! Why does it matter? I just don't. 

And to think that you're going to help… Why do I have the sudden urge to run to the wild and never return?

My feet itch, they're ready for a sprint of a lifetime. Alright, stay put. I'm the Tribune. THE Tribune. I'm an important man. A mighty man. Yes.

I can take this.

I brace myself for your touch that's to come.

Alright. Bring it on. I can take it. Give me your best shot.

Oh, you're quite close. You study my frame.

Your gaze is not at all what I expected from a soldier studying his fellow soldier.

No. Your gaze looks like you might be… interested.

Your lips look—

OH NO.

NO.

I'm NOT going to put you in danger. Please…

Stay away from me.