When in Rome: Part 8

Even after scarfing down half a pepperoni pizza all on his own, Bobby’s stomach was still infuriatingly flat, toned, and perfect when they showed up at Andreas’s house an hour later. Kimberly had always been jealous of her ex’s metabolism, but now she got to be jealous of his beach body, too: the neon pink bikini she’d picked out for him molded to his curves like it had been made for him.

The bottoms were tied high on his hips, with the daring expanse of smooth tanned skin making it very clear he waxed, while the top pushed his boobs up and out as much as possible. He was wearing a cover-up over his suit, but it wasn’t exactly living up to its name: the gauzy pink fabric might as well have been see-through. Perched on a pair of four-inch wedge sandals, toying anxiously with a pair of sunglasses, and carrying his largest purse on his tanned shoulder, Bobby was every inch the perfect blonde beach bunny.

Kimberly knew she wasn’t quite on the same level, and something about getting shown up by her own ex-boyfriend rankled her. That was why she’d opted for a tank top and a pair of cut-offs, pointing out that Bobby was obviously the one Andreas wanted to see in swim-wear, not her. Besides, it still felt a little chilly for swimming.

“You sure he gave you the right address?” Kimberly asked pointedly -- Bobby had messaged Andreas five minutes ago, and the Italian had yet to let them in.

“I think so, but my Maps won’t load right,” Bobby grumbled, looking down at his phone. “I’m out of data already. I told Mom to buy the premium package, or whatever, but she -- ”

Taking matters into her own hands, Kimberly reached forward and pushed her thumb to a conspicuous-looking button. The gate buzzed open. She exchanged a glance with her baffled ex. “After you,” she suggested.

Bobby took a deep breath, in a way he probably didn’t realize emphasized his bust, and led the way. She couldn’t help but marvel how he wiggled his ass as he minced along in the high-heeled wedges. Even off the runway, it seemed to be ingrained.

They walked around the back of what was clearly quite an expensive house -- she knew space in downtown Rome was at a premium. Through a small archway, she saw a tiled area with a bunch of teens hanging around, drinks in hand. Some kind of techno music was playing on a Bluetooth speaker, and the conversations going on were very expressive, and very, very Italian.

“Uh, Barbie,” Kimberly said, noticing the attire around her. “Are you sure he said -- ”

She was interrupted by the arrival of Andreas, who was wearing chinos and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up just right. “Barbie!” he exclaimed, strolling toward them. “And your social media Kimberly friend! Welcome.”

Bobby looked incredibly nervous all of a sudden, and tugged urgently at her arm. “Look, I didn’t tell you everything about the date,” he hissed as Andreas approached. “But it’s all just, like, an act, and if you tell anybody I will seriously freaking…”

Andreas didn’t let Bobby finish his sentence, wrapping one arm around her ex’s dainty waist with a casual sense of ownership before yanking him forward into a downright steamy kiss that made Kimberly’s jaw drop. Bobby gave a muffled squeal of surprise, fluttering his manicured hand, but Andreas didn’t let up in the slightest. By the time he pulled back, her ex was pink-cheeked and panting for breath.

Kimberly felt a little flushed herself. Seeing Andreas treat Bobby like his girlfriend -- and not just his girlfriend, but like a submissive, pretty little doll who was powerless to stave off so much as a kiss -- was really freaking hot. It got even hotter when Andreas wrapped his arm around Bobby’s slender shoulders and looked deeply into his pretty blue eyes.

“Ciao, bella,” he said.

“Hi,” Bobby said weakly.

“Hi, what?” Andreas asked teasingly, giving Kimberly a wink over Bobby’s blonde head.

Bobby followed his gaze, shooting her a look of total mortification. Then, blushing brightly and staring at the ground through his long black lashes, he cleared his throat. “Hi, handsome.”

Kimberly involuntarily bit her lip.

Andreas gave her ex an affectionate squeeze, then finally stepped back to take in the full view of his bikini-clad body. “Barbie, why are you wearing this?” he asked, frowning.

“What do you mean?” Bobby squeaked, looking suddenly terrified. “Um, it’s a pool party?”

“Barbie, I said it is a pool-side party,” Andreas said. “This means a party beside the pool, yes? It’s only spring, and it is much too cold to swim. They only fill the pool in summer.”

He was doing a pretty good imitation of surprise and pity, but Kimberly could hear just a hint of smug amusement underneath. Depending on how quick Andreas was to forgive and forget, the miscommunication might not have been a hundred percent accidental -- Kimberly did her best to hide her own smirk as Bobby stared around at the other party-goers.

“Oh, shit,” he whispered, wide-eyed.

“It’s no big deal,” Andreas said, grinning. “You look very sexy. Kimberly, you look bellissima as well. Come, I can introduce you to everybody.”

Bobby shot her another pleading look, and Kimberly gave him an encouraging nod. The smirk slipped out, though, as Andreas put his hand her ex’s lower back, dangerously close to his taut buttocks, and ushered him forward. She shook herself. As entertaining as it was to see Bobby forced to play the part of another guy’s girl, they were here for a reason.

Most of Andreas’s friends were guys -- judging by a few matching jackets, members of the same sports team -- and all of them became extremely interested as soon as “Barbie” made her entrance. They didn’t bother to pretend at any pickiness the way Vincenzo had. By contrast, their tongues were practically hanging out as they drank in the sight of an incredibly hot, incredibly dumb blonde who had shown up to the party in wildly inappropriate attire. Kimberly felt pretty much invisible.

Andreas said something in Italian, pointing to the tarp that Kimberly assumed was covering the empty pool, and his friends burst into uproarious laughter. She could see Bobby’s jaw clench. Either Andreas was blaming the mix-up on Bobby, or admitting to the prank outright, but her ex had no way of proving either.

He was probably mortified enough anyways. He kept either plucking at his skimpy cover-up, as if he could somehow will it to be more opaque, or fluttering his hands ineffectually in front of himself. Most amusingly, he seemed to be sticking even closer to Andreas than necessary -- probably trying to use the taller boy as a shield, but giving the appearance of a cute, clingy girlfriend.

It was kind of adorable. His cheeks were almost as pink as his neon bikini as Andreas introduced him to each and every one of his friends, each and every one of whom was more than happy to get up close and personal for the Italian cheek-kisses. Judging by the pure lust in their eyes, they were already fantasizing about him.

Kimberly had a few guys checking her out, too, but she made sure to keep her unimpressed bitch face engaged as introductions were made. Bobby, meanwhile, was nodding and smiling and simpering like a good little girlfriend, though she could see the tell-tale glimmer of panic in his big blue eyes. Kimberly waited for Andreas to finish showing him off, then ducked in and pulled her ex aside, claiming a social media emergency.

As soon as they were at the edge of the unused pool, which was incidentally also where the folding table with all the alcohol was, the pretty white smile dropped off Bobby’s face.

“So the date went better than expected, huh?” Kimberly asked dryly.

Bobby swallowed. “I was trying to make him happy,” he said miserably. “So I told him I had a big crush on him, and we...we made out.” Her ex shut his eyes briefly, clearly humiliated to be reliving the memory. “I didn’t want to, but you said I had to make him happy, and now he’s happy,” he babbled. “But also I’m here in a bikini, and I have a hickey on my neck, and we’re not just ‘back to neutral’ or whatever, we’re, like, in drive. Big time.” He took a deep breath, making his breasts bob attractively. “This is bad. This is really bad.”

Kimberly blinked. She’d obviously been expecting Andreas to steal a goodnight kiss -- with a girl as hot as “Barbie,” what guy wouldn’t try his luck? But she definitely hadn’t expected him to get to hickey levels of familiarity on the first date, or to already be parading Bobby around like a trophy wife in training.

“It seems bad,” Kimberly corrected. “But this is actually really, really good. All you have to do is hold in there, and when the opportunity comes, drop a hint about the Blush campaign. Tell him if you get this campaign, you’ll be flying into Rome every other weekend. Tell him you’ll be his American girlfriend. Tell him whatever you have to, because it’s bullshit, alright? Once the contract is signed, it’s signed, and you’re way too good a model for Uncle Nino to just drop even if his nephew whines about you ignoring his texts.”

Bobby stared at her, absorbing the words, then slowly nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Yeah. Okay. Can we get drunk?”

“We can get tipsy,” Kimberly decided, grabbing the nearest bottle and an unscrewing the cap. The smell brought her hangover back full force. “You can get tipsy,” she corrected. “I’ll, uh, be the designated Uber orderer.”

“Suit yourself,” her ex said with a shrug, holding out his cup.

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