10 Songs I Wish Were Anime Themes - part 5

Reading the last several music blogs I’ve done might give someone the impression that I don’t care much for Heavy Metal. I talk so much about retro 60’s revivalists and mellow Adult Contemporary and straight-up elevator music that I clearly must be wussy lamewad who can’t handle true RAWK. In big picture terms… yeah, kinda. But that doesn’t mean I NEVER listen to any kind of metal, I just have to be in a very particular kind of mood (and have a very particular level of caffeine in my system) to enjoy that level of volume anymore. It really helps if the Metal band in question has a strong sense of theming and presentation. I’ll always be a sucker for some flashy theatrics, and Metal has some of the biggest, most garish, pyrotechnic-laden productions in music history. Which brings us to Seikima-II.

The uninformed casual might look at Seikima-Ii, a band of outlandish characters in kabuki makeup with flashy comic book styling and a relentless merchandising campaign who play pop-tinged Metal, and think of them as “The Japanese KISS.” No Sir, KISS is the American Seikima-II. Seikima-II is the band KISS want to be when they grow up. I mean, yeah, KISS did come first, but everything they did as part of their shtick, Seikima-II came along and did better. The KISS “characters” aren’t really anything more than easily trademarked logos, but Sekima-II actually has an extensive, consistent mythology every bit as comic book-y as their look. KISS built their reputation on flashy live shows, but Seikima-II made their shows into full on multi-media theatrical EVENTS. KISS fancied themselves as mass marketed media moguls, but Seikima-II penetrated mainstream Japanese pop culture to a degree KISS could never dream of (Paul Stanley never had a successful side career as a respected sports analyst, while still in character. Just sayin’.) And above all else, KISS were never really all that great musically. At best, they’re a competent bar band with a few catchy numbers. Seikima-II, on the other hand, weren’t just one of the best bands in Japan during the ‘80s; I say they were one of the best bands in the WORLD. Seriously, at their peak these guys could easily have shared a bill with Iron Maiden or Judas Priest and held their own. All of which makes it shocking to me that they never really got a chance to shine with a good anime theme. Oh sure, they did a few songs for utterly forgettable OVAs and shows nobody watched (and even got their own OVA that by all accounts was absolutely terrible), but I remain flabbergasted that no major franchise with a big ‘ol fanbase ever used one of their songs in a fashion that would have really gotten them over in The West.

Specifically, “Mahiru No Tsuki (Moon At Mid-Day)” feels tailor-made to be the opening theme of an anime. Deftly splitting the difference between the bands Pop and Metal sensibilities, “Moon At Mid-Day” synthesizes their various Hair Metal and Arena Rock influences into an infectious juggernaut of hooks and harmonies. It’s even got that all-important moment of gratuitous English for Westerners to latch on to! How was this never the theme to anything? Well, if Real Life isn’t going to do the right thing, I guess it’s once again up to me.

“Mahiru No Tsuki (Moon At Mid-Day)” really feels like the title theme to some kind of big, space opera mecha series to me. Like, I can totally picture the opening seconds of the OP: panning across a starfield while the a capella intro plays, first flashing up the studio credits before one of the “stars” sparkles conspicuously and expands into the main character’s mech doing a flyby. Then, right as the drums kick in, there’s a second, larger flash that reveals the fancy title logo as the song proper begins. From there, the rest of the OP would probably just be your typical shots of the main characters walking in place or pensively staring into the distance while the wind blows their hair around, all with their signature mecha filling up the background. And, no doubt, the chorus would be accompanied by explosive space combat that may or may not be recycled in the show itself. If you’ve seen any Gundam-style show, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Speaking of which, what would this show be ASIDE from “giant robots in space?” I mean, that alone is enough for me, but I’m sure SOME people out there need actual plot and characters and storylines along with their mecha action. Well, “Moon At Mid-Day” combines the bigness of their 80s Arena Rock origins with the swooning melodrama of so much 90s Visual-Kei, so I think a big melodramatic Space SOAP Opera is in order here. After all, I did specifically cite Gundam just a few sentences ago. Let’s really go for broke with the drama. This is a bit clichéd, but I immediately picture a space civil war between an aristocratic upper class who live in lavish space stations and the oppressed lower class living planetside to do all the dirty work. In fact, that’s SO clichéd that I feel the need to spice things up. Let’s say that the planet-dwellers hate the aristocrats so much that they’re xenophobic towards ANY space-dwellers, despite those upper class snobs really only making up a small percent of the spacers. Thus, we’d end up with a THIRD side of space-dwellers who feel screwed over by both the previously mentioned sides, and whose very existence makes it impossible to boil the conflict down to a simple Good Guy/Bad Guy dynamic.

That’s especially important because this show would be full of the main characters shifting sides and stabbing each other in the back, preferably in shocking cliffhanger endings to keep the audience coming back for the next episode. You know, the kind of stuff that drives fangirls to write page after page of fix fics to give their favorite characters the happy ending the anime itself denies them. And speaking of fangirls, it goes without saying that the entire cast would be made up of beautiful young men in fancy military uniforms who constantly pout over the latest heartbreaking plot twist. And for the non-fangirls, there’d be the REAL fanservice: lots and lots of elaborately designed mecha that can be found at your nearest model shop!