10 Songs I Wish Were Anime Themes - part 1

.aaaaand right off the bat I’ve made things challenging for myself here. Obviously, the whole concept of these blogs hinges on the songs they’re about being playable with a single click, and at one point, “Pinch” by The Oranges totally was. The band’s official YouTube channel had a post of the full studio recording and everything, that’s how I discovered “Pinch” in the first place. But at some point, the big bad record label apparently stepped in and removed that video (or at least blocked it from us foreigners) and now they only have this live version. It’s not an AWFUL live video, I guess, but the audio quality’s not the best, and, well… Look, if you’ve already played the video up top, you know that one of the most memorable things about “Pinch” is its big Thin Lizzy dual-guitar riff, but The Oranges only have two guitarists and one of ‘em has to play rhythm, so the live version of the song sounds really incomplete. Thankfully, some TOTALLY RANDOM YOUTUBE ACCOUNT THAT I’M IN NO WAY AFFILIATED WITH posted a new, unlisted video with the studio version of “Pinch,” and so far the Japanese Recording Industry hasn’t gotten it taken down yet. So listen while you can!

Really, you should listen to it anyway, because “Pinch” is just a really great little rock song. A prototypical slice of Power Pop, sort of like if Cheap Trick were covering The Bay City Rollers, “Pinch” just overflowing with guileless, positive energy. (At least, the music is. I have no idea what the lyrics are about.) With that in mind, I feel like “Pinch” would be the perfect opening theme to one of those Shonen Sports anime. You know, the kind of opening where the main characters are constantly running and leaping into the air and fist-bumping the sky and just smiling waaay too much. This is such an energetic song, I can totally see it being used to pump up both audience and characters alike, watching everybody high-five and strap on their gear and get ready to play… whatever random sport this show would be about. There’s already too many shows about Soccer or Basketball or that stuff, so… maybe a show about Pesäpallo: aka “Finnish Baseball?”

What, did I not mention I’d be trying to imagine the actual shows these imaginary themes would go in front of? Probably because I hadn’t thought of it myself before just now, but that’s just what “Pinch” does to you. It’s so propulsive and motivating that it drives you to accomplish even more than you set out to do! So yeah, this show would be about a bunch of misfits who love this one weird regional variation of stick ball, and they’d be at a school with like a thousand other sports clubs who all look down on them for playing this weird not-baseball. But, of course, our underdog heroes would gradually win all the naysayers over, teaching viewers the basics of Pesäpallo one fact at a time, which inevitably turn out to be the key in winning the big game at the end of that episode and HOLY CRAP I HAVE PUT WAY TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS.

Look, the point is, “Pinch” isn’t just a song that would be great playing BEFORE this kind of show, it’d work great DURING the show. That opening salvo of power chords would be a fantastic music cue for key moments, the “Taa Daa!” signal for when somebody finally learns that one lesson the whole episode was about, and the twin-guitar riff would make an excellent victory theme for when our heroes ultimately win the game. Heck, that riff would just make a great victory theme in general. Somebody make a chiptune version of this song and stick in their retro/revival/indie game.

And that’s not even all. If you STILL haven’t clicked the video up top and heard the song for yourself, the final chorus changes things up quite a bit and drops the rock for a few measures, adopting a more poignant ballad sound. This part of the song would ALSO make a great music cue to be used in Very Special Episodes. Ya know, the ones where somebody has to learn an Important Life Lesson and the piano music from Full House is playing and all that. Mushy stuff. The final chorus of “Pinch” would be a great “we’ve leaned our lesson” cue, transitioning out of the serious bit and back into being all boisterous and energetic.

And of course, this should go without saying, but the final episode would absolutely need to play the entire song from beginning to end. Ya know, at the climax of the final big game against THOSE AWFUL RICH KID BULLIES FROM THE ELITIST PRIVATE SCHOOL where our misfit underdog heroes finally earn the right to fulfill their dreams and fly out to Finland to play in a real Pesäpallo tournament, which is of course what The Movie is all about. WHY HAVE I THOUGHT SO MUCH ABOUT THIS.

What can I say? “Pinch” is just the kind of song I feel driven to do right by. It’s three minutes and eighteen seconds of pure motivation, and why WOULDN’T you want that as the theme to a sports anime?  And seriously, The Oranges deserve a ton more love than they get.  Even in Japan, I think most people have never heard of 'em, despite nearly every song they have being CRIMINALLY catchy.  They've got a Greatest Hits album on iTunes that includes "Pinch," and I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who like Power Pop.  Go on, you owe it yourself!