Conventional Wisdom: My First Japanese CDs - Cowboy Bebop: Vitaminless

Okay, this was already going to be a weird one just because of how these blogs came into being. As I said before, my original plan had been to lump all the Cowboy Bebop soundtracks into one big blog post, but that post was getting SO big that I had to break it up into chunks. That was fine with the full albums, but I knew from the start that Vitaminless was going to be a bit awkward to try and devote an entire post to. And then I was looking back over what I’d written for Blue, and realized I’d drastically misremembered how I got the thing in the first place. And I’ve got words to say about it.

See, Vitaminless is not an album, it’s essentially the “Real Folk Blues” single with some bonus tracks and a few repeats off of No Disc. That is to say, “Real Folk Blues” isn’t ON No Disc, or either of the other albums, just Vitaminless. Even if you bought all three of those Cowboy Bebop albums in one big chunk, you still wouldn’t have one of the most recognizable Cowboy Bebop songs. Hey, guess who bought all three Cowboy Bebop albums but NOT Vitaminless while at Animazement?

The thing is, I’d totally forgotten that happened. I clearly remember the dude at the Dealer’s Room table specifically pointing out that I only had the albums but not the single, and my revisionist memory ASSUMED I’d taken the hint and threw Vitaminless in with the purchase. But no. Either because I misunderstood what he was saying or because I just refused to believe “Real Folk Blues” wasn’t SOMEWHERE on them, I stuck to buying just the albums. It was actually my little brother who bought the single that weekend, not me. I dunno if he was paying more attention than me, or if “Real Folk Blues” was the only song he wanted and it just happened to make up for my stupidity, but that’s what happened. Since we took all four CDs home at the same time, I guess my brain just re-wrote the details into something less dumb. I think I finally got my own copy of Vitaminless that Christmas, possibly because my brother was sick of me borrowing his all the time. I went back to the family CD stash to check, and sure enough, there’s two separate copies back there. Memory is a funny thing, kids.

But the best part about this whole thing ISN’T the fact that I’m going senile early and won’t be able to remember my own name by the time I hit 50, it’s that this whole incident is actually a PERFECT set-up for the next blog! This wasn’t the ONLY time I bought a CD for a show theme and didn’t get what I was expecting. Not by a long shot…

But that’s a story for another time, we’ve got Vitaminless to talk about now. Obviously, the main attraction here is “The Real Folk Blues,” which I probably don’t even need to say anything about. If you’re reading this, you should already know it’s one of the greatest ending themes in the history of television. From a fantastic melody to Mai Yamane’s powerful vocals to the dense in a good way Wall of Sound arrangement, this is one of those rare songs that’s just perfectly realized. It achieves exactly what it was setting out to be, and trying to change any little piece would only serve to lessen the whole. You can just look at the alternate version tacked on to Blue for proof of that. “See You Space Cowboy” is fine, but nothing special. This right here, this is transcendent.

And that’s just talking about it purely as a work of music, we haven’t even gotten into the emotional charge it carries for Otaku Of A Certain Age by virtue of being “The Cowboy Bebop closing theme.” A whole generation of weebs raised on Adult Swim have serious memories wrapped up in these six minutes. For all I just said about forgetting who bought the CD, I VERY vividly remember the first time I saw an episode of Bebop and heard this song. We'd just moved and gotten cable again, and I was wanting to stay up and watch that music video special Toonami did on their “Midnight Run” spin-off, but I got the date wrong and wound up catching Bebop instead. It made as big an impression on me as it did everybody else, and I absolutely remember buzzing over that credits song as I went to bed. As annoying as it is to not have “Real Folk Blues” on one of the full soundtrack albums, I totally understand why somebody thought this was worth charging people the price of an extra disc. Because it is. In other words, I like this song.

As for the rest… well, let’s get “Fantaisie Sign” and “Cats on Mars” out the way real quick. These are the exact same tracks that are on No Disc, and I really don’t know why they were released twice. I mean, I do; it was to cross-promote with the release of No Disc. But still, come on! What a waste!

Moving on to the songs that AREN’T replicated several times over, “Piano Bar I” is pretty much exactly what you think it is: an old fashioned piano blues jam that wouldn’t sound out of place in any bar. “Odd Ones” is probably the most stereotypically “Cowboy Bebop sounding” track on Vitaminless, a fast paced sax and piano jam with some truly crazy drumming going on in the back.  There’s not really much of a memorable hook underneath all the jamming, though, just a lot of improvisational showing off.  Again, this just isn’t the kind of Jazz I like even at the best of times, and this one in particular isn’t the best of times. I have a lot of questions about how Vitaminless was put together, but why “Odd Onces” was held off of the main soundtracks isn’t one of them.  “Spy” is, as the name suggests, a James Bond spoof that uses the same middle eight as “You Make Me Cool” on No Disc, and thus sounds even more like something off of The Incredibles. I like this one a lot better, since there’s an actual hook for me to latch onto, and I’m always a sucker for a reprised theme. That, and the surf guitar riff is dang cool. There’s an unlisted bonus track called “Black Coffee” that is… odd. A jam between woodwinds and tom toms that the listener totally misses out on thanks to some INCREDIBLY awkward dialog of a dude constantly asking a girl out coffee, over and over again, in incredibly repetitive fashion. The whole thing reeks of a combination of “this dude isn't normally an actor” and “this dialog was written by someone not fluent in conversational English.” …and having just said that, I’m sure it’ll turn out the unaccredited guy is actually a really famous voice actor. I mean, the girl constantly turning him down is apparently Megumi Hayashibara, Faye’s actress.

As odd as “Black Coffee” is, it’s still not as weird as “Doggy Dog,” a VERY odd mess of percussion and chanting fake dog howling that honestly works pretty as the lead in to “Cats on Mars” but is otherwise one of the goofiest things in the entire Bebop soundtrack. Interestingly, the Box Set contains two additional versions of “Doggy Dog” with surf guitar and saxophone, turning it into something that honestly wouldn’t sound out of place in Pulp Fiction. Personally, I wish they’d left the repeats of “Cats on Mars” and “Fantaisie Sign” off of Vitaminless and just loaded it down with multiple versions of “Doggy Dog.” I mean, it’s got Ein right there on the cover anyway, who’d question it?

And with that, we’re FINALLY out of the weeds with all the Cowboy Bebop albums I bought back in the day! Yes, there’s still technically more out there, like the afore mentioned box set, but the whole point of these blogs is to revisit that handful of Japanese CDs I bought back when I was new to otakudom and buying CDs was still a thing that people did, and these are the only Bebop albums I got back then. And next up, we move on to another prize of my very early con-going adventures. Not only is it not Cowboy Bebop related, it’s not even a soundtrack! Though, there IS a funny story about that second part. See, I TOLD you my little recovered memory would make for a good set up…