Can Pokemon Into Naruto? 14

Commissioned by Anthony Maxwell

Can Pokemon Into Naruto? 

Chapter 14

-VB-

There were a lot of ways to make medicine. 

And in fact, doctors and nurses alike followed a very simple rule for when it came to medication and its administration. 

Right Patient. (You really don’t want to give opioids to a bradypnic patient.)

Right Medication. (Are you going to antidiarrheal to a patient suffering constipation?)

Right Time. (When you give someone who needs to sleep a diuretic, you are an asshole.) 

Right Dose. (Medicine is but poison given in just the right amount.)

Right Route. (Some medicines just don’t come in every single possible administration route.) 

Right Documentation. (To cover ass when shit hits the fan.) 

This also worked in reverse when making medicine. 

Who was the medicine for? What condition did it treat? When should it be given? How should it be given? How much was good enough? Did you document the effects of the medication?

In the modern/post-modern world, this meant doing a lot of tests. Everything from allergy tests to drug-to-drug interactions. Even here within the Naruto universe where civilian hospitals were a thing, many drugs got tested. Willingly or unwillingly. Ethical and moral concerns of the Elemental Nations differed vastly from post World War 2 America. 

Death row prisoners didn’t get to complain.

Anyway, where was I?

Right. Medicine. 

I stared at the oran pill. It was essentially oran berry extract hardened with fillers. To make this one pinkie nail sized pill, I crushed and squeezed ten oran berries. If this thing didn’t regenerate a limb or anything like that, then it was so not worth it. 

But I didn’t know how to test it because there wasn’t anyone sick in the village right now. Or rather, sick enough that it warranted using this instead of a crushed oran berry slurry.

Oh, and I made it bitter with bits of bittermelon for a very good reason.

I glanced to the side and saw all of my pokemon looking half-ready to eat the oran pill. Half ready, however, because they tasted bittermelon and saw me put it in. 

Yes, I made the medicine intentionally bitter to ensure that my pokemons wouldn’t go after it.

Cleo glared up at me as if I had ruined her day. 

“What?” I asked. “This ain’t for you, girl. Don’t get pissy with me.”

She chirped haughtily and walked away. 

I shooed the rest of my mons away and focused back on the oran pill. 

As it was, it was big enough to choke a little kid, so I brought out a knife and cut it into thirds. Never leave it up to chance and all that. 

I winced.

‘This is going to have limited supply, which means it’ll be expensive, which means there won’t be enough we can sell at any given time, which means … it won’t really help the village’s finances.’

Medicine was good and all, but I also knew that depending on the efficacy, I might attract unwanted attention. Unwanted attention from ninjas when I didn’t even have a full team was a suicide as well. 

Konohagakure as a whole was not a problem. My own experience and what I knew about them told me that, in general, they would be fair people. 

ROOT, on the other hand, might just kidnap me. But I wasn’t going to wait for ROOT to disappear for me to start fortifying the village in as many ways as I could. 

Hell, just finding a noble to sponsor the village might get ROOT’s attention. 

Other villages and lands won’t sit idle as I pump out miracle drugs either. 

So what to do, what to do, what to do…

Tap tap tap Tap Tap TAP TAP -!

Hmm?

“Karu! Are you in there, Karu?!” 

I grunted as I got up and opened the door to my Japanese-style home. I slid open the rice paper door and saw the chief standing in my front yard. 

“What is it?” 

“One of the orphans got injured! Got gored by a boar!” 

I listened.

And ‘oh.’

It had to be that orphan I told last week to go off and … 

I grimaced. “How bad?” I asked him. 

“He’s pale. Breathing hard,” he replied with an equal grimace, but for a different reason. “Is there anything you can do to help? He’s lost so much blood…!” 

I looked over my shoulder.

… I supposed that there was now a seriously injured villager who I can test my medicine on, and as shitty as that thought was, result was what mattered. 

“I’ll be right out,” I said as I closed the door. I turned to Baltoy. “Bal, I need a quick ride to the heart of the village with the chief. Can you do that for me?”

He nodded. 

I grabbed two of the three oran tablet pieces, grabbed two dried oran berries, and a metal bottle of oran berry slurry I kept for myself just in case and rushed out. Baltoy followed after me and telekinetically grabbed both of us before spin-jumping toward the heart of the village. 

The chief screamed like a bitch.

I saw a bunch of people around one of the houses, rushed there with the chief’s lagging and trembling form. I had to push everyone out of the way, visitors(?) and villagers alike, and finally saw the orphan. 

I froze.

“Yo, that ain’t an orphan. That’s a carcass.”

And then I saw the bloody carcass shuddering as it breathed. 

“Jesus Christ almighty, have mercy on that boy,” I muttered as I walked on over. 

… On second look, he looked worse off than he was actually hurt! 

A broken tusk goring him in the chest will kill most people. Fortunately for the guy, it looked like it had only struck his ribs and right lung, completely missing the spine and any other organs. On a boy his size, though, it looked like someone took a tusk-shaped PVC pipe and jammed it into his chest. Hell, it was covering a good fifth of it!

How big was the boar? 

I knelt down and looked him over. 

Then I pulled him over and had him on his right side. Immediately, he hacked up and coughed and blood dribbled out from his mouth. That was close. He’d been choking on his own blood.He moaned and sobbed in pain, but this was the best I could right now. If I tilted him so that he was laying on his left side, then blood from his right side would flow to his intact left lung and drown him there. Possible and probable with how big the damage was, so I’d rather keep the damage contained to that side.

“You’re gonna wanna chew on this, boy,” I said as I pulled out an oran tablet and placed it near his lips. “Or you’re gonna die.”

The boy struggled but he bit down and chewed. 

Unfortunately for him, I had no idea how to perform surgery…

Then my head zipped.

Or did I?

“Bal, I need you to make sure he doesn’t feel any pain, alright?” Then I turned to the rest of the people. “Can you all get clean hot water, clean towels, fire-heated needle, and hot water treated strings?” The villagers were quick to 

Then I turned back to the boy. 

“... Unfortunately for you, you’re about to become my first surgical patient,” I told him with honest guilt. “Sorry. I'll probably end up poking around a lot. Hopefully, Baltoy can keep the pain off ya for as long as possible.”

The same random zipping told me that I had maybe three hours to complete this job from what I knew about Baltoy. 

“Great,” I sighed as I made sure the boy swallowed the oran tablet. “A time limit, too.” 

I looked at Baltoy, and he nodded. 

‘The boy is on psychic suppression. His mind won’t feel a thing.’

“Thanks,” I said before grabbing the boy and lifting him up. “I need a clean room, too!” 

-VB-

“... And when he came back out of the room, the boy lived!” a peddler said with a genuine awe at the end that the rest of the people listening to him inside the bar ooh’ed and aah’ed at the story. 

“The boy should be dead,” someone gruffed. “The healer must be some kind of ninja doctor or ninja nurse. What are they called?”

“Iryonin.”

“Yeah, that. So I guess that place is a ninja retirement home or something?”

“Nah. It’s just him.” 

“... You think we can get treated if we go there?” someone else asked. “My mother’s got a lot of joint pains.”

The bar broke out in murmurs about their own family members or friends who had health problems. 

“Where is this village with the iryonin again?” someone in the back  asked. 

“Yonomoto by the Sea Mountain.”

“... Where the fuck is that?”

-VB-

A/N: no, I did not forget about the orphan. No, I did something worse. I crippled him for the sake of plot. 

Also, when plot makes MC get known for his supposed healing “ability” than the medicine. At least, for now. 

And people are starting to ask where the village is.