To my 22 followers

Thank you for sticking by me, yeah I could talk about how my life as been rough and why you should feel sorry for me. But I wont.

Actually, you know what. I will.

My name is Ethan Chang, I'm 28 years old born and raised in California. I work as a legal clerk for my dads law office.
I have what is called high functioning autism also known as asperger's syndrome, and struggle everyday to operate as a normal human being.

I tried to join the US Army back in 2013, but couldn't because I didn't have my high school diploma. So I worked and studied and got my GED. Then they said I needed 13 college credits. So I worked and studied and got 13 college credits. Then there I was, finally accepted in. I was gonna be a 91M, Bradley Fighting Vehicle System Maintainer.
I passed the ASVAB and medical, I was gonna swear in in the next few days.

Here's where I was when this happend.
My mom just died. My dad kicked me out because he didn't approve of me joining the military. I was staying in the motel off the dime of my moms inheritance. Alone, no friends, in this shitty motel a block away from the recruitment office. They didn't care about me, I was an easy sell to them. I could tell but it didn't matter then because I was finally getting the chance to serve my country. But on that weekend, 1 day from swearing in, my dream was coming true. This has never happened to me before, my entire life has been nothing but disappointment, the fact something good was happening to me caused me to react poorly.

I looked around.
I had no one, no one cared about me. My mom was gone, my dad won't talk to me, so I went out and drank at bars, a place I actually felt at home. And I drank too much.
I drove home drunk. Got stopped in the parking lot of my hotel because I was speeding 9 MPH over the speed limit. Got the very first violation of my life, yes it's true. I never got a speeding ticket, parking ticket, nothing until I was 21 years old. I was a fucking boy scout, I was a good old boy who cared about law. My very first infraction/misdemeanor was a DUI with a BAC .13.  

Ruined my life, upon telling the recruiter what happened, the MSG pulled me into the back room, gave me a half an hour talk about how I wasted his mens time and called me a loser, a waste of space and kicked me out. Told me I should stay 100 yards from the station.

Now I was truly lost. I thought I was lost before, boy I had nowhere now.
So I packed up everything I had, and left the state and just drove.


I went from desert town to town, stopping when I got tired. I often woke up in literal gutters, behind dumpsters because I was too drunk to find my car.
Soon, in El Paso TX my car was stolen. So I was stuck, I was homeless for 2 weeks.
I got a job at a ranch shoveling shit for 5 an hour under minimum wage under the table and they let me sleep in the barn.

I've tried to kill myself 5 times, and these aint half assed attempts. These where, "I really shoulda died" times. The most recent in 2017, I was dangling from a rope in my room. Miscalculated the lasso rope and still could stand on the balls of my feet but was slowly losing oxygen. One military brony, saw the signs. I had deleted 1st Awesome Platoon FB, deleted the discord and patreon page. He knew what it meant. He found out where I lived, and called the police for a wellness check. Police found me unconscious dangling off a rope in my room.

I now to this day have 4 DUIs. I'm a felon now due to the amount of DUIs I have. It weighs so badly on me how much of a boy scout I was, and how badly I wanted to serve my country. And now I'm a felon, the most despised kind of person. I wanted to walk away from 1AP so many times because throughout most of 1AP I've been a criminal, not someone who should represent America's fighting men and women.

I served 6 months in jail for my 4th DUI, that was what caused my long absence.
It was very bad, and I'm almost positive I got COVID-19 in January.
And when I came back out I saw I still retained most Patreon supporters.

I'm a pretty messed up person, I have a shit ton of insecurities, and social problems.
But the reason I got drawn into the brony fandom is because you guys where just so accepting. It was a community where everyone was welcome and I really needed that in many points in my life. You folks encouraged me to continue to draw, even back then when my art was wanting.

1AP used to have 6,000 likes on facebook, I deleted that because I seriously, and honest to God, thought I was gonna die that day. I was saved by a Navy vet and friend who I would have never met if it wasn't for this fandom.

I want to draw, I want to make people laugh and feel happy. I want to provoke thought and present diffrent perspectives though my simple art platform.

I'm moving from an old computer to a new one and I'll be honest, it's hard to let go of old programs I'm so used to. I don't like change but this computer is 13 years old and it takes forever for me to finish any project.

What I want to say is thank you, to you folks who stand by me even when I really don't post much for you. The money you donate goes towards veteran funds and to my staff to help me create content. I pocket none of it. I will make an effort to reward you folks for your loyalty presenting content exclusive only to Paterons. I am with my new computer (which I havent even turned on yet) going to explore animation and greater art programs to further my abilities.

I hope that knowing me more hasn't turned you off to my work, I really honestly want you all to know that your support means far more than the dollar amount. Just the fact you are still here means the world to me. Thank you.