How About No? 8

How About No?

Chapter 8

-VB-

The town that the princess (?) was staying at was actually a boon for me. It’s one thing to collect herbs by myself in the wild but it’s another, and much easier, to buy them from local herbalists.

Sure, most of those herbs had already been dried, but even dried herbs had their uses. I spent basically all of my remaining coins to get as much as I could, taking note to take herbs that were endemic in the North. My reasoning was that since I didn’t intend to stay here in the North, North herbs would be ones that I would least likely to run into. As such, stocking up on North herbs was not just thinking of the future but also stocking up on my supplies.

And there was a good reason for it. If the herbs used to make my Elixir of Defense did not exist outside of the North…

Yeah.

I didn’t want to think about how weak that will leave me. I had to find an alternative or something stronger once I leave the North.

Speaking of Elixir of Defense, my gourd for that particular potion was now filled to the brim. Assuming one sip gave me thirty minutes or so of defense, I had roughly a day’s worth of continuous defense. I had enough of the herbs used to make it last a month, assuming that the materials weren’t ruined by rain, snow, cold, or heat.

I also had enough of other materials for the strength potion to last a similar length.

What I was most happy about were the other materials.

See, I didn’t get just dried herbs. I also got horns. Specifically, I got elk horns. Yes, apparently, the North had elk. I really wanted to know what kind of effect elk horns would produce.

… Which was why I was being a dumbass. Instead of hightailing it out of the North, preferably through boat at Manderly’s White Harbor, I was in the middle of the woods, using my enhanced strength and durability to ground down one of the horns to powder. As the powderized elk horn fell from my hands and into the wooden bowl (one of many I bought), they mixed with a bit of my blood, a lot of water, and the main herb used in defense elixir.

Instead of becoming whiter from the horn’s infusion, the new elixir slowly grew darker and darker orange.

Orange could be anything. It could be good. It could be bad. It might melt my throat before turning me into a weirwood. I don’t know!

I set the still gravel-like elk horn back into its pouch with the untouched ones and looked over the liquid. I swished it around the bowl before shrugging and splashing half of it on a nearby, snow-covered rock.

… It did nothing.

Okay.

I grabbed a rat I found in the town (kept in a pouch until now), and then force-fed it.

It squeaked… and then squealed. Like I’ve never heard a rat squeal. What the fuck?

It squealed before … going utterly still.

I looked down at the suddenly menacing potion.

What the fuck did I jus-.

The rat exploded.

Its gore splattered my face, my jacket, and more.

I sat there, utterly shocked by the chain of events before gently upturning the wooden bowl and tossing that bowl away.

Yeah, no.

Time to find a new combination for the elk horn.

---

Elk horn with fresh grass sapling!

Failed. How does that become acid? I need more bowls.

---

Elk horn with a bit of butter!

Failed. The second rat expired from explosive diarrhea. It lasted a full hour before it died. Forgive me.

---

Elk horn with tree bark.

Nothing. Not … failed? Maybe I just need to add more blood.

---

Elk horn with tree bark and extra blood.

Partial success. The third rat nearly died. Spat out a lot of blood. When thrown away, it acted like acid and ate through a lot of rock. At least thrice the volume I threw away. This could be useful, especially since it doesn’t burn away the wooden bowl.

---

Elk forn with only blood. No water.

Failed. The third rat squeaked a lot, but nothing else. It hasn’t suffered anything from it. In fact, whatever damage the previous potion did, it seemed to have been healed. No damage to rock upon being splashed. Tried it myself. I started seeing shit after I drank that, but I also forgot? What did I see? Why was I screaming? Why were there tears of blood? Probably not good, so this potion also failed.

---

Elk horn with honey, no water.

Failed. The third rat died. It looked happy, though. It did nothing on the rock. I’m not trying this out. I’ll save some in case I run across a bandit or something.

Naming this thing “Happy Rat.”

---

It wasn’t long that I found the testing subject I was looking for.

Three bandits walked out of the brushes and trees, smirking all greedily, and demanded I get down on my knees.

“Please, I’m begging you!” one of them sobbed after a while, during which I used each and every one of them as personal punching bags. “Have mercy!”

I stopped. The one who shouted that was their leader, a good looking guy who lazily told his lackeys to kill me when I laughed at them. Dropping the unconscious thinnest bandit, I crouched down and looked at him. Like the others, I’d broken his legs.

“... Alright. I’ll let you all go if you drink this for me,” I said as I brought out Happy Rat.

“W-What’s that?”

“A potion. You can drink it or you can get punched for a few more moments before you inevitably die.”

He gulped and opened his mouth.

I uncorked the small gourd and let the honey-water drip out. It wasn’t golden honey, though. It was brown and dark.

The first drop landed on his tongue, and the rest into his mouth.

And then he swallowed.

For a few moments, nothing happened.

And then…

“O-OH!” he moaned. “W-Where am I?”

Huh?

I looked at his eyes and -.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered at the erratic movements of the eyes, moving quickly and without stopping. His eyeballs bou-. His eyeballs independently moved, looking at things I couldn’t see.

“Where is this? Did I die? Am I in paradise? What are those women?”

… Huh.

“Hello! I’m … Wait. You don’t. No… NO! STAY AWAY! STAY AWA-!” he screamed with tears and snot running down his face before he stopped and just collapsed.

I continued to stare at him. He wasn’t breathing anymore. I felt for his heartbeat and didn’t feel it on his chest.

Oh dear.

I turned to the last one, who was alive and conscious, and very very afraid.

“N-No, don’t give me that,” he said when he saw me moving the gourd toward him. “No, stop! I’m begging you, stop! STO-!”

The screams that followed lasted quite a while.