GREASE ON FILM
Added 2025-01-17 15:23:19 +0000 UTCOh, kids, it's been ages since we've dabbled in the lost art of the YouTube Movie Review, mostly due to the copyright bot's insistence that Fair Use is a joke and that someone could get the same experience of viewing Borderlands by watching my video. Oh, no, this thing is way less painful than watching that piece of shit.
It was even worse that I thought it would be and that's saying something.
Now that its finally been cleared for release by the copyright holders, I present a fully cracked rundown of this terrible, terrible slop.
Don't worry, after a short vacation at the end of the month, I'm going to be going right back to games. Looking at Jazz Jackrabbit and Jedi Knight 2 (finally) as the next vids. Hard at work preparing for the new year. Hope you all had a great holiday and New Year!
-Civvie
P.S. Yes, YouTube fought me on the video itself, but that one song? They licensed it to me for cheap. Fucking crazy.
____________________________
An even newer Patreon discord invite link!
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Or if you want one of those fancy colored names that everyone gets now if they want. The credits in the video are usually a couple of days behind the actual patron list so if you don't see your name, it will be in the next upload
-Civvie
Comments
Cavill's a 40K nerd if that's any consolation.
Fallout Zombie
2025-01-28 00:02:46 +0000 UTCIts bad but its still not nearly as heart breaking as the Halo show. Just fills me with some dread on how the Wh 40k show with Cavil might be.
Wafflemarine
2025-01-24 10:44:20 +0000 UTCNot all suffering is just, Lord Civilian Eleven.
Jesse Beers
2025-01-24 02:54:01 +0000 UTCOoh! Jazz Jackrabbit! I guess you played the DOS version but there is an open source recreation OpenJazz which gives you higher resolutions etc (there's a browser version here: https://openjazz.github.io/ ) The sequel was pretty decent, but has a very problematic second character in Jazz's brother Spaz. There's a open port of that too (Jazz² Resurrection) which adds a third playable character.
Stephen Ward
2025-01-20 07:54:07 +0000 UTCThis film makes me angry. Not Silent Hill Revelations 3D angry, but still
BDP Illustrations
2025-01-19 13:16:19 +0000 UTCThanks for taking that bullet
Zubaz
2025-01-19 12:17:04 +0000 UTCThat Luigi is an asshole...
prozax
2025-01-18 19:44:02 +0000 UTCI coundn't even finish watching your review. The second-hand cringe overpowered me.
some patron
2025-01-18 18:52:33 +0000 UTCThank you for suffering through that bucket of crap so the rest of us don't have to. #FreeLuigi #FreeCivvie
Sweet, Succulent Content Nectar
2025-01-18 11:31:38 +0000 UTCFuckin' Hostile? Fuckin' Eh
Scott LaPointe
2025-01-18 08:49:46 +0000 UTCOh no. Okay. Let me just put on my hazmat suit and Anti Grease Patch and then I'll hit play. Looks like this was a bad week to stop sniffing glue. *EDIT* Oh my God. It was so much worse than my already low expectations were... expecting. Jesus H Randall S Christ.
Fallout Zombie
2025-01-18 06:48:52 +0000 UTCMany thanks Civvie. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas holiday. I love the Ole Foghorn btw! I literally got duck eggs for Christmas, my house duck finally started laying eggs.
Shawn Grant
2025-01-18 05:28:41 +0000 UTCGood shit. The video, obviously, not the movie. Honestly, while it may just be my bias in favor of cinematography talking, it looks like the big thing making everything look fake is the lighting. Which I guess does overlap with the effects problem, since it was transparently lit for green screen.
Aaron Stafford
2025-01-18 03:52:52 +0000 UTCPro Masterminds when, Civvie? (Some of us didn't forget...)
Citizen Cain, PhD
2025-01-18 03:13:09 +0000 UTCY'know it's a little thing, but after years of jokes it's neat knowing Civvie (to some extent) does enjoy the games Oh and yeah 2s NG+ are pretty rough, you're not wrong there
Liquid Pigeon
2025-01-17 22:32:20 +0000 UTCTiny Tina is horrible well that’s not much of a difference
Daniel Blake Jewell
2025-01-17 19:55:09 +0000 UTCFish in a Barrel III
Tripp Andre
2025-01-17 19:36:42 +0000 UTCBest use of a Pantera song EVER.. Great work sir.
arctic vampire
2025-01-17 19:25:08 +0000 UTCIf Civvie's a content monkey this is animal abuse. Still gonna watch it though.
NecroPotato
2025-01-17 18:54:46 +0000 UTCOh my fucking god fucking Rocketman. I LOVED that movie as a kid. And YESSS RETURN OF THE MOVIE REVIEW!
Corey Peoples
2025-01-17 18:39:10 +0000 UTCEverytime i think of Eli Roth i keep remembering about DVD of Luico Fulci's The Beyond i got, he did a write up of the film and inserted a scene at the beginning to "Help it make more sense"... That film made no sense what so ever and that beginning bit Just did nothing, but made me question what was the point. Zombie Flesh Eaters is the only Fulci film that made sense and that barely made any sense,
The Anternator
2025-01-17 18:19:35 +0000 UTCEvery time I read, "Hey kids," dopamine rushes to my brain and I become a little more parasocial.
Ophystudios
2025-01-17 16:51:59 +0000 UTCFuck yes
JOE MOTHERFUCKING TREEFELNER
2025-01-17 16:40:32 +0000 UTCThis was kind of a Thing back in the early computing days. Jazz had a christmas episode, Lemmings had christmas episodes, Lotus (Of 1-2-3 fame) sent out Christmas house themed greeting cards that played O Holy Night on the PC speaker, it was a fun time.
Robert K.
2025-01-17 16:37:49 +0000 UTCCliffyB would certainly rather we forget the cute bunny game exists for... some reason. Don't know what. Embrace the silly bunny game you made as a twentysomething, Cliff. It's not like we could play Sonic the Hedgehog on our dos machines back then.
Robert K.
2025-01-17 16:35:09 +0000 UTCOhhh yeah, Jazz Jackrabbit! The game I've spent thousands more hours playing in my CD player than playing as a video game, but Alexander Brandon's music on Jazz 2 is sublime.
Robert K.
2025-01-17 16:34:08 +0000 UTCSo greasy.....
Silentphil9
2025-01-17 16:33:58 +0000 UTCThis is the closest I'll get to ever watching the Borderlands movie. Thank you for your sacrifice
Xineombine
2025-01-17 16:32:11 +0000 UTCFucking Hostile in a Dept of Special Corrections production? Legendary.
SoupsGoodFood
2025-01-17 16:25:35 +0000 UTCI cant wait for Jazz ahhhh
htfcuddles
2025-01-17 16:25:33 +0000 UTCA Civvie movie review? By Gar, it's been awhile... I can now wait in hope for a Postal movie review, one day...
Bavaboi
2025-01-17 16:09:11 +0000 UTCOh snaaaaaaaap!!!
fRiEnD
2025-01-17 16:06:55 +0000 UTCThis is one of those movies where you have to wonder why it was released in that state.
Adam Blunt
2025-01-17 16:05:34 +0000 UTCI subscribed just so I can minimize your suffering
ChickenShred
2025-01-17 15:40:13 +0000 UTCNope, sorry, no Travolta musicals here. I can't even imagine that copyright nightmare.
Civvie
2025-01-17 15:36:18 +0000 UTCThe oddest thing, I watched and dl'd it on YT. VERY glad I didn't pay to see it.
Nivekeatspaint
2025-01-17 15:35:06 +0000 UTCFor some reason when I saw the notification I thought you were covering the 78 movie with John Travolta. I thought “I know Civvie is a boomer, but damn.”
Dayton Green
2025-01-17 15:32:38 +0000 UTCfor crying out loud, this movie is just terrible, even beneath Uwe Boll standards, at least his older game based movies are entertainingly bad, this is just offensive to common sense.
Tore Schweer
2025-01-17 15:30:04 +0000 UTCWhich ones? The copy I got from GoG has a million episodes, and that's not even including the sequel. I played through all of them already, including the Christmas episode, but not the second Christmas episode. They really loved Christmas over at Epic Megagames, I guess.
Civvie
2025-01-17 15:29:04 +0000 UTCAND NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO I HAVE SUFFERED FOR THIS CURSED KNOWLEDGE
Civvie
2025-01-17 15:27:37 +0000 UTCJazz Jackrabbit... And all it's chapters and side versions? Oh, that's going to be interesting
Flame Soulis
2025-01-17 15:26:33 +0000 UTCExcited about Jedi Outcast.
Jonathan Anderson
2025-01-17 15:26:23 +0000 UTCJazz Jackrabbit? I thought I was the only one who remembered that game
Fullmetal
2025-01-17 15:26:03 +0000 UTCJedi Outcast video coming in the near future? LFGGGGG
Chozo Ghost
2025-01-17 15:25:30 +0000 UTCgod damnit civvie i was doing everything in my power to not watch this heaping pile
FURIOUS_MASTICATION
2025-01-17 15:25:20 +0000 UTCneat
Flash Allan
2025-01-17 15:24:22 +0000 UTC
