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civvie11
civvie11

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HALF-LIFE 2: GARDEN OF LOVE

 Welcome to the biggest video ever. It has been a long, dark time, kids.


Not like for real, where something bad has happened to me personally, more in the sense that I've been hopelessly plugging away at this massive thing after many months of prep-work, game capture, outlines, ideas, and attempting to think of a way to make a Half-Life 2 video that isn't just another Half-Life 2 video. I may have failed but I took some big swings.


Campaign and Episodes, all at once, because I think Half-Life 2's story isn't actually complete without it.


A problem I face with certain videos is that I don't want to make a video just to satisfy a demand for it. I find myself grimly agreeing with Gabe's sentiments at the end about being stumped. What is there to say about Half-Life 2 that hasn't been said?

This is, to date, the single longest video ever uploaded to the channel and I couldn't cut another thing if I wanted to. I hope you all enjoy it or at least get a few laughs from my juvenile bullshit. Apologies in advance if a certain song is stuck in your head. I promise it is worse for me after hearing it hundreds of times during the edit.


To open the video like a YouTuber Video Essay was essential trolling I've always wanted to do and I don't think any other voice would have made the gag as successful. Please direct your complaints to rpitchford@gearbox.com.


I suppose I could have dug up something for a Christmas episode but I told all of you months ago that I was working on this and I wanted to get it out by the end of the year. Merry Christmas, Dungeoneers. May your short vacations exist in Valve Time, long, unpredictable, and never truly ending.


-Civvie 


P.S. I didn't get Ross Scott for this one because the gag I had in mind, where I would speed past a Gordon Freeman in Ravenholm, saying "Suck it, Ross!" felt a little mean spirited.


____________________________

An even newer Patreon discord invite link!

Patron discord link:

Copy and paste this link in your browser because Patreon is really weird about it.

https://discord.gg/xERH8vse

If you'd like to have a different name in the credits than what you pledged with, leave me a comment, or DM me on here or Twitter or discord or whatever. If your name is wrong, not included, or anything else, shoot me a message calling me an asshole and telling me to fix it.

Or if you want one of those fancy colored names that everyone gets now if they want. The credits in the video are usually a couple of days behind the actual patron list so if you don't see your name, it will be in the next upload

-Civvie

HALF-LIFE 2: GARDEN OF LOVE

Comments

Hahaha it’s all we have now.

John Labor

A+ Civvie. Also the HBomb opening had me fumbling to see if I misclicked a link.

Washington Irving

"To this day I’m still bitter that they dropped this franchise." The cruel jab of impotent anger. The hunger for revenge.

Silentphil9

Dude, my parent's always talked about "Meet the Feebles" like it was some long forgotten cursed relic that no being had ever gazed upon and lived, so that intro blew my fucking mind.

Jimothy Greene

EXACTLY! Your state of confusion at what was occurring only improved the experience and let your ponder all the possibilities. Give us back the fever dream!!

John Labor

To this day I’m still bitter that they dropped this franchise. Like you said, near unlimited resources. And I’m positive there is a sea of capable writers out there willing to pick up the gauntlet. It’s enough to make you crazy. What a waste. Merry Christmas.

John Labor

There's even two L4D achievements related to said gnome, one of them recently added around 2020, when Gabe Newell launched said gnome into space.

Mesías da Rocket

Holy shit! Now that's a way to end the year. Thanks! Another Smismass Miracle(TM)! The first one was finally getting that last TF2 comic to finally end the whole thing, with a pretty satisfying conclusion.

Mesías da Rocket

thank you for the great video. having the balls to call out hl2 for what it is, a breathtaking tech demo with a fever dream for a story. where ever could hl3 gone from that? "story was never boss" -- only it was: in hl1. and that's why black mesa (hl1) is almost the pinnacle of the first person shooter. almost, because the pinnacle is classic system shock... merry xmas!

minusf

neat

Flash Allan

So is this the end of the Half-life saga? Or will Gunman make it in? Or the little weird mod like ententes that where made?

Erik Olsson (TerrorBlades)

I mentioned to my friend who's a fan the video name, and he misheard it as "Gordon of Love".

Ninjaxenomorph

It used to crash for me specifically in the tunnels with the bike section, but I was running it on a then current laptop. A decent laptop for the time, with an early dual core, but not a gaming focused laptop.

Shawn Grant

Amazing video. Civvie is indeed a talented chap.

Arron Thompson

Boy oh boy am I grateful the "apocalypse clown" rolled into town today. Absolutely killer video.

ElegantWeapon_

keep up with these long form videos, and you too Civvie11, can be the next MRedders123. good to have a new video, was getting worried :)

Tore Schweer

Great video! Half-Life 2 and especially Episode 2 remains one of the most memorable gaming experiences of my life. I straight up named myself after Alyx so that should give an indication how much the game has meant to me personally. I wanna do a review but yeah it... it feels like such a Goliath project.

Alyxx the Rat

2024 and Civvie decides to tackle an end game boss of a video HL2. Saw it yesterday but now I got popcorn and nobody to distract me :D ty Civvie.

Wafflemarine

HE FINALLY DID IT! Merry Christmas civvie, thanks for another entertaining year :)

Nic Bergstrom

WHAT! I got a laptop while stationed in South Korea to play this and I couldn't get past the tunnels with the buggy. It would bug out, no pun intended. Anyways, thanks for such a long video and Merry Christmas!

Shawn Grant

Me, a fool who never played the games sitting here and pointing like a loon at all the sounds and effects and shit I recognize from Portal and TF2. (For some reason, HL2 would always crash when I tried to run it, but the other two were fine on my PC at the time.) Also "It's not a chef's kiss, it's a chef's blowjob" is going in the old lexicon now, A+.

Valora Inverse

Glad to see this on my feed today. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. But fuck being happy with the work being done, we must resume demanding content. Insert unfunny inserting of unfunny "half life 3 when civvie?" joke here.

MightyTacoKing

THANK YOU CIVVIE

Mateusz Bartoszek

absolutley love the long form content... Thank you sir.

arctic vampire

My sincerest thanks for being an honest review. I have only ever heard people praising Half Life 2 but, personally, I found that game to be the biggest disappointment I ever bought and played through. I loved Half Life 1, I played all the expansions and plenty of mods. And then I played Half Life 2. The game started by destroying all the progress I made in Half Life 1. I was still wondering about the giant alien I defeated last time. I thought humanity won, but I still wanted answers. But it was like that never happened. Here you go, Freeman, back on a train. A worse train. And with no explanation. I went through the game wondering what the hell happened. And then, at the "end" of the game I was left, like you, seething. I felt like the developers had led me through a ridiculously elaborate ruse just to get bored and abruptly end it with a stupid prank. Here is your deus ex machina, Freeman, go back in the box. Every minute I played this game, from start to end, was an enraging disappointment. It felt like someone deleted my savegames and retconned my favorite story. I am still waiting for HL3 to come out and redeem itself.

The 11th Plague

Other than the couple of supply stashes in Water Hazard I NEVER knew about (which, despite two play-throughs nearly 20 years apart, I NEVER SAW), I was most amazed that Water Hazard DIDN'T rate a sewer count because that first part is LITERALLY brown sewage lol. Happy holidays man, and freaking top tier amazing HL2 video. The ways in which you made this different from any other HL2 review in two decades is flabbergasting. It wasn't possible until someone with enough talent tried to make dat gud shit. Massive respect! Edit: Also, curse your black heart from the bottom of my soul for the Garden of Love song. LMFAO you crazy bastard

Nachts

When I was in middle school (2006), our family got a cat and I named her Lamarr. She is 18 and still kickin'. I'm gonna see her in four days actually when I fly back home for Christmas. CIVVIE: "I hate her. A lot." ME: "Nooooooooooooo!!!!!" --- Year 8 in the books for you. Having been here since Ion Fury, and a patron since The Birth, it's been fun! Let's do it again next year.

Tripp Andre

Bad Taste will always be the bad move I remeber Peter Jackson for.

jugularSignal

I know about the gnome but I couldn’t be bothered to bring it. There’s so much else to talk about 🤣

Civvie

I always have to chuckle when I see a skilled and talented creator say something like "I may have failed but I took some big swings." Not one single video this man has done has been a failure, and I doubt it's gonna start now. I will say, however, if you ever start to doubt yourself, or your abilities to make awesome vids, just take a look at my YouTube channel and you'll feel a lot better.

DJ Jester

Fuck yes

JOE MOTHERFUCKING TREEFELNER

Thank you for all of your videos this year, Civvie! This year was a rough one for me but when you uploaded a new one, I always made sure to take my time, get some popcorn of sorts and just enjoy it. I'll make sure to do the same for this one - thanks again and happy holidays!

Adam K

Fuck yeah! Early Christmas present! Thanks Bud! Enjoy your holidays!

Zachary Long

Best day ever!!! Civvie, AVGN and Karl Jobst. Weeeeeeee!!!!

Radu Pislaru

hey civvie did you know that there is a garden gnome in ep2 in the room where you talk to eli and kleiner and you can pick it up and its like an achievement to put it in the rocket i just saw that you didnt pick it up so i figured you didnt know about it anyway hope this was helpful thanks for reading

ib_

This video is everything I’d hope it would be and I love it. Honestly I echo a lot of your sentiments Civvie. I was 13 when this game came out and I was super hyped. The game was super impressive but ultimately I was left disappointed in a way I couldn’t quite articulate. I think this video says what I’ve wanted to say for years. Ultimately though, Half Life 2 is still a fun and impressive experience all these years later but I find myself going back to Half Life 1 more often than I do for this game.

John Schmulowitz

Was about to finaly start my first playtrough of this. Guess I'll wait another year or two at least now... (Not that I'm particulary in any hurry)

Orre Karre

I am the dumpster baby.

Corey Peoples

You God damn maniac, you actually did it

BDP Illustrations

Ok fun little story. During the opening scene of Half life 2 where you have a choice of throwing the can at the guard or into the bin. My choice was to throw it at the guard. It bounced off their head and landed in the bin. This gave me both achievements and it made the guard instantly step forward to attack me and just as quickly stop to laugh. It was freaky.

YukoValis

Its a new Civvie video, the one we wanted, Get the Kneepads. Loved it as much as i love Half life, thanks Civvie.

Jonathan Doyle

I love you more than I love beer

Beerman

What a great christmas present :)

Devin McIntyre

HOLY ****** **** **** what a time to be alive. thanks, civvie!

Michael Kalin

Merry Christmas Civvie! This definitely brightens a dreary retail day of endless bullshit. A guaranteed glorious video to relax to after work. Your videos are always a delight, thank you.

K_Ichigo-15

Merry Civvmas, kids! Thanks for the excellent shit as per, Civvie, have a good one!

J45ON96

Fuck the Christmas theme- this is a Christmas GIFT! Thanks Civvie; hope you don't slip on black ice wherever you are!

The Inquisitive Mug

Fuckin' eh! Good shit Civvie, looking forward to watching this

Scott LaPointe

Very clever making me forget I wanted this video by dangling the promise of an HBomberguy "Meet the Feebles" video. Dammit...

Steve Meyer

After all the wait & asking, the BIG ONE is here!

Steven Wilson

NEVER, DAN ACKROYD'S SMILING FACE Or maybe someday idk

Civvie

PRO LEISURE SUIT LARRY WHEN CIVVIE

LaserfaceJones

It really is that time, again

David Eltzroth

holy shit it's happening

FURIOUS_MASTICATION

Thanks for the delectably large video, bossman

Agent Strange

The Christmas gift to end all Christmas gifts!

Chozo Ghost

Merry Christmas, Civvie and thanks for the awesome videos you uploaded this year.

Raul Campos

I'm just about to get on a 2 hour flight... PERFECT timing. Thank you Civvie! Merry Christmas

Paul Street

DAIKATANA REMAKE WHEN CIVVIE. Wait, what? *loud portal noises*

elegantzizi

Heck yeah! I'm going to fuck off at work and get paid to watch this! Thanks Civvie 🤘 Merry Xmas everyone 🎄🎅🍻🥂🍻🥂🥴🤢🤮

Suckerpunch5000

Best Christmas present ever!! Thanks Civvie and Merry Christmas!

Bavaboi

I wish Patreon would have an extra donation option for when creators make really good content that would instantly send crack directly to the creator.

Cody Thacker

You absolute madlad, I nearly dropped my phone when I saw the notification. I am so HYPED

Ruby Ranger

Merry Christmas Civvie you beautiful bastard

The Nur

THANK YOU CIVVIE

Brandon Robinson

Holy fuck thank you civvie!!!

0773ELLO

Over an hour and a half of a game I played the crap out of! Christmas has come early this year! Much appreciated Civvie!

Nathaniel Dolynchuk

Oh boy. Hooo boy. Ooh boy. This must have been a sanity drain. Firing up the popcorn. Happy Holidays, man!

Ilkka Karppinen

Merry Christmas to me!

Nathan Tipton

OH YEAH BABY! ITS FINALLY HERE! Also, saying 'half life story is not complete without them' is ironic, because its *never* going to be complete. lol

Dénes Hliva

RISE AND SHINE MR 11

Mario_bland

Thank you Civvie for everything. You really make my month brighter. Please take care of yourself and have a good bunch of holidays.

YukoValis

MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS TO US OH MY GOD

TheOneAndOnlyE

civvie can you have my children

Perfect_Style

OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD

gill


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