Sarah's Story Chapter 049 - Masking

Helen’s fist sank into to the ice-slick cobblestone an inch from Svalbard’s head, and she immediately drew back for another punch.

“And intact!”

Finally, the glowing woman paused. Her jaw tightened and she grimaced.

And then her hand slammed down into Svalbard’s temple and he knew no more.

Helen’s frustration with the brute beneath her faded, and her concern for Sarah swelled. She dashed back, glow fading, and started fussing over her unconscious daughter.

Nadine groaned and got back to her feet.

That was the worst fight she’d been in in a long time.

She looked over to Sven and saw he was unconscious.

That was close. Far too close.

If Helen hadn’t shown up when she did…

If she’d shown up even a minute later…

Nadine bit her lip.

Helen was going to be furious with her.

At least for now, she was focused more on Sarah.

Nadine limped over to Sven and checked his vitals. He would be fine. Then she took the potion and gave it to Svalbard, ensuring he’d remain asleep for at least the next day.

The man had barely a scratch on him, and seemed to be healing rapidly even as he slept.

What a monster.

Later, Helen prepared them all dinner and they sat down.

Sure enough, Helen was furious, as if the trout on Nadine’s plate wasn’t enough of a sign.

Nadine had always hated trout.

But she ate it anyway, accepting her penance.

Sarah had come to rapidly enough, and had gained two new Skills from the fight.

Brawler Class Skill [Enhanced Coordination] has been acquired.

Brawler Class Skill [Fast Recovery] has been acquired.

That, and a high quality healing potion from Sven that had fully healed her broken arm, had been enough to soothe most of Helen’s wrath.

Most of it.

The nagging went on and on and on until Nadine couldn’t take it any more.

“Helen, isn’t it about time you were honest with Sarah?”

Helen froze for just a moment before the mask slipped into place.

But Nadine saw it.

“Huh? What do you mean, Auntie Nadine?”

Helen pursed her lips and looked away, refusing to speak.

“Mom? What does she mean?”

After a moment of silence, Nadine sighed. “Have you ever wondered why your mother is such a strong Brawler, and an even stronger Homemaker, Sarah?”

Helen glared at Nadine, warning her not to continue, but Nadine pushed on.

“It’s because she’s obsessive. She always has been. She latches onto things and just never lets go. She latched onto fighting, she latched onto your father, and thank the gods for your father because no other man could keep up with her.”

Helen was perfectly still, but Sarah interjected. “Huh? No she’s not, mom’s a great mother.”

“And what kind of mother sacrifices one child’s future for the other?”

Sarah frowned. “Auntie Nadine, I’ve told you, I want—”

“Sarah, you’re only fifteen. Have you seen a single other fifteen year old pushing herself as hard as you? Your mother’s been hiding her emotions and obsession from you, but it’s going too far.”

Nadine looked down at her hands, clenched into fists on the table. “I’ve gone too far. I put you in danger today, and it was completely wrong of me. You shouldn’t have been in that fight.”

“But—”

“No buts, Sarah. That was no place for a fifteen year old girl to be.” Nadine turned to glare at Helen. “But it wasn’t just me who put you there.”

“Nadine, this is Sarah’s choice. We need to find James,” Helen said coolly.

“Helen, you know it’s wrong to trade Sarah’s future for James! What about Sarah?! You know this is wrong!”

Helen’s mask slipped again.

“And how could you know?! You don’t even have any children!”

Everyone froze, and Helen looked stunned at what she had just said.

“Nadine, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I take that back—”

“No.” Nadine looked at her younger sister with a stony expression. “You’re right, I don’t have any children of my own. But I can tell: Sarah isn’t you, Helen. She’s not obsessed like you are. I’ve spent enough time with her to tell. Brawler isn’t Sarah’s reason for living.”

Helen whipped to look at Sarah. “Sarah, is… is that true? You don’t like being a Brawler?”

Sarah looked back and forth between her aunt and mother. “It’s… it’s not that I don’t like being a Brawler. But Auntie Nadine is right. It’s not my reason for living.”

The blood drained from Helen’s face and she turned pale. She looked down at her trembling hands. “Oh… oh gods, what have I done…” Tears fell, and she started weeping.

“Mom…” Sarah reached out, but Helen jerked her hands back.

She had no right to be consoled.

She had thought…

Sarah had been the one to say it, that she wanted to find James.

She never complained about the training. That meant she liked it, right? That she liked being a Brawler? That she was satisfied with that, and then…

They just, they had to find James, right?

She needed her son back.

She needed her family to be whole.

Through teary eyes she looked at her youngest child, her only daughter.

Really looked at her.

Was all this really best for Sarah?

She’d already turned her into a Brawler, and would she now turn her daughter into something that only existed to find her brother?

What kind of monster was she?

Helen knew.

Helen knew what kind of monster she was.

Had always been, behind the mask.

The mask had been slipping, which was why she’d needed to go home, back to Stephen, to unwind and regain her control over herself.

And she’d left Sarah.

She’d barely made it back in time, and had nearly lost both her daughter and her sister.

They never would have gotten wrapped up in that fight if it weren’t for her pushing Sarah to do the impossible.

She couldn’t hold back the sobs anymore.

Helen stood up, knocking her chair back and over, and ran away. Up the stairs, towards their room.

Sarah sat stunned, staring at the staircase where her mother had disappeared and her sobbing faded.

Nadine sighed heavily and grabbed the sides of her head with her hand. “Why does everything I say always come out wrong?” she grumbled sadly.

She looked up at her niece’s shocked face, and sighed again.

“Sarah, by all rights you should have heard this from your father, if ever at all, but you need to know.”

And so Nadine explained about her sister, Helen.

The prodigy of the family.

The younger daughter who took to Brawling like a fish to water, effortlessly picking up Skills and training with unlimited energy and focus.

And also about the dark side.

The nights spent sleeplessly practicing.

The frustration that pushed her to perfection, always, always seeking an impossibly high standard.

Her early infatuation with Stephen, and the stalking. The escalation until Stephen caught her out and, by some miracle, returned her affection, even taking a Brawler Class solely so he could keep up with his beloved.

It had been Stephen’s demand that Helen take a Homemaker Class, and she had pursued being a Homemaker with the same energy and obsession that she pursued everything else.

And, eventually, thanks to her Class and Skills, she had smoothed out her rough edges.

Learned to hide her obsession. Learned to channel that energy into healthier outlets.

Helen’s entire world revolved around two poles: fighting, and homemaking.

Everything else was subordinate to fighting and homemaking.

And that had been fine.

She had a husband who loved her, and five healthy and happy children she doted on.

Until James went missing. And then the balancing act fell apart. Suddenly, there was a new obsession: finding James.

Everything was about finding James.

Sarah could do nothing but listen, stunned into silence.

Nadine took her niece’s hands into her own.

“Sarah, you’re more than that. You’re more than just finding your brother. I know you miss him. I know you care. Hold onto that. Don’t let it go. But I can tell, you’re not your mother. You’re not obsessed like she is. You don’t live to train, you’re training to live. And… don’t hate your mother.”

“Of course I wouldn’t!” Sarah finally responded.

“Good, good.” Nadine nodded. “Your mother is who she is, but she’s not a bad person. She’s just hyper-fixated. She cares about you just as much as she cares about James, or your other brothers. But she can’t relax, can’t take a step back while James is in trouble. Just… Be careful. Your mother’s been using her Homemaker Class to bottle up her emotions, but it’s been years, and I’m afraid you’ve been dragged along for the ride.”

Nadine tightened her grip. “Sarah, make your own choices. Choose the life you want to live for yourself. Don’t let yourself be manipulated.”

“I have not been manipulated!” Sarah jerked her hands back, paused, and then took her aunt’s hands into her own. “Auntie Nadine, thank you for your concern, but I do want to find James. Even if no one else cared, I would still care. He’s in trouble, and I want to help him. He’s lost, and I want to find him. If mom’s been using me, then I’ve been using her just as much. She’s trained me, supported me all this time in the city, taken care of me while I focus on training…”

“It’s not just your mother, Sarah. I, too…”

“No, don’t. You’re not using me either, Auntie Nadine. I chose to fight today, too. It’s the same thing: I wouldn’t have met a Bounty Hunter without your help. And now I have, and I have the Class option.”

“Is… Is that the Class you’re going to take?” Nadine asked, hesitantly.

Sarah paused a long moment. “No. I’ve spoken with the Class and all the specializations. Bounty Hunter still isn’t right. But I can tell I’m close. It’s like Sven said; that if he ever saw James, he’d recognize him. I can do that too, even without the Class.”

Nadine bit her lip. It felt like the help she’d tried to provide had been worse than useless, since it had put Sarah in danger.

“Auntie Nadine, I will find James. And I’ll do it for me, and for him. Not for Mom or anyone else.”

Nadine was overwhelmed by the determination she could see in her niece’s eyes.

She relented. She sighed and nodded. “Okay. I just wanted to be sure. I love you, Sarah.”
Sarah smiled. “I love you too, Auntie. Thanks. Really, thanks for everything.”

“Helen, come back!” Nadine called, and both she and Sarah immediately detected the Brawler and Homemaker coming back down the stairs.

Of course, she had been [Eavesdropping], and the two other women were fully aware of that.

“Helen,” Nadine said sharply. “Sarah’s an adult and her own woman. It’s time you were honest with her.”

“Sarah,” Helen said tenderly as she looked at her daughter. “I’m sorry.”

And then she let the mask go.

Deactivated all the Skills she used every waking moment.

It was like she aged ten years in the span of a breathe.

Deep lines creased her face. There was a tightness to her lips, and a manic fervor to her eyes. Her hands and shoulders trembled, as if it was taking all her willpower to stand still and not be running, dashing off somewhere, doing something.

Her hands were clenched into fists so tightly that her knuckles were white.

It nearly broke Sarah’s heart. Her mother looked so sad. She stood, knocking her own chair back and over, and rushed to her mother, embracing her.

Helen stood stiffly in her daughter’s arms.

“Mom… It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

It felt wrong to the Homemaker. Daughters weren’t supposed to soothe their mothers. It should have been the opposite.

But…

She relaxed, and accepted it.

“It’s been… so hard…” she said, and the tears started again.

For long minutes she vented, spewing forth all the frustration and anger she felt. Revealing all the ugliness inside herself.

Her frustration with the incompetent Baron and King.

Her anger at the lack of leads in the capital.

Her resentment of her Classes that just couldn’t help her do what needed to be done.

Her sadness and emptiness at the loss of her son.

And her bitter resolve not to give up, ever, until they found James and ensured he was safe.

Sarah accepted it all. The frustration, the anger, the bitterness, all of it.

And, miracle of miracles, she was still on Helen’s side.

Relief overwhelmed the tired mother, and she sagged in her daughter’s arms.

Sarah guided her back to her seat, flipping the chair perfectly back into position with one foot, and then they all sat at the table again, with the real Helen. And after only ten more minutes of venting, Helen had gotten all of it out.

“...and that stupid Baron reported me to the Kingdom, and now I can’t even leave the country. They put me on the Army reserves list, so I have to stay.”

Sarah hugged her mother, a silent show of support, but Nadine rolled her eyes. “That’s your own fault,” she chided. “It serves you right for losing your cool and taking out an entire squadron of Knights in front of the Baron like that.”

Helen pouted, much less cutely without her Homemaker’s facade, and Nadine only rolled her eyes again before turning to her niece.

“Sarah.”

Sarah sat up straighter, hearing the solemness in her aunt’s voice.

“You need to take a break. You’ve been going non-stop for nearly three years, and like your father says, if something’s not working, you need to try something else. Your mother and I will keep looking. But you need to focus on yourself, find yourself, and find something to live for beyond finding your brother. Hyper-fixating on this just isn’t healthy, and you deserve to live your own life and be yourself. You’ve said it yourself: if you run into James, you’ll recognize him, Class or no. You don’t need to dedicate an entire Class to finding your brother.” Helen’s expression tightened, and her knuckles turned white again, but she forced herself to nod along. “You can’t change your Classes, once you Choose them. That’s it. It’s permanent. Learning new Skills outside your Classes is nearly impossible, and your potential will be locked into just those two Classes, so really think about it.”

Sarah nodded seriously. “Uh, Auntie Nadine… what’s your second Class?”

Helen twitched, and Nadine’s expression tightened. Her jaw clenched, and then she turned away.

Nadine refused to answer.

Sarah let it go.

“Okay. You’re right, Auntie Nadine. I’ll take a break.”

That night, she checked her Classes again, and still nothing felt right.

Still, none of the Classes said they could find her brother.