Sarah's Story Chapter 045 - First Kill

Brawler Class Skill [Grapple] has reached level 5.

Sarah found herself breathing heavily, and took a moment to calm herself. The rush was… she hadn’t expected it to be so strong.

That was a monster.

She’d just killed a monster.

It was the first thing she’d ever killed.

Arthur approached and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Was that your first kill?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Sarah whispered.

She couldn’t understand why she was reacting like this. It was a monster. Monsters were bad. This monster had been trying to kill them.

Arthur nodded solemnly. “This is a hurdle with which many in the Immortal Sword School struggle. Taking a life, even the life of a monster or beast, is not something that comes naturally for many people. Now, you must make a choice: will you pursue killing, or seek to avoid it? And if you seek to avoid it, will you avoid it to your own detriment, or only until you can see no other option?”

He paused, and Sarah looked up at him, but Arthur was looking deeper into the Dungeon, schooling his expression.

“There are those who decide never to kill, and give up their own lives keeping to that decision. Know that this is not weakness: some of the strongest instructors in the Immortal Sword School swear never to take a life. It is merely a decision that one must make for himself.”

Arthur let go of Sarah’s shoulder, leaving her straddling the dead monster’s carcass, and turned to Gregory.

“Let’s take a short break.”

The rest of the party gave Sarah some space, and she spent the time in thought.

For Adventurers, the path to strength and success was clear: slay monsters and clear Dungeons.

But was that Sarah’s path?

It was confusing partly because it had been so easy.

The monster had been trivial to approach, to stun, to grapple, and ultimately, to kill.

She could easily envision herself proceeding through the rest of the Dungeon, slaying monster after monster, and eventually reaching the treasure room at the bottom.

But she felt no pull in that direction. It wasn’t why she was doing this. Why she was doing anything.

Clearing Dungeons and slaying monsters wasn’t going to help her find her brother James.

And on the other hand, she didn’t feel any revulsion from slaying monsters when encountered. She just hadn’t expected it to be so easy.

Her father’s lessons on holding back were starting to make more sense. Sure, she had learned them and passed his tests, but now she realized that if she put her Skills towards hurting people on purpose…

A human neck is much more fragile than a lupine neck.

Minutes later, Sarah finally stood and walked away from the dead monster, and Gregory breathed a sigh of relief.

After losing to the young Brawler girl, he was shocked to see her freeze up after killing a monster, especially after she had moved so smoothly and gracefully in killing it.

Arthur had given him a look, though.

Give her space, it said.

Arthur was usually aloof, so when he gave input, Gregory took it seriously.

Their short break had been twice as long as normal.

And it was Arthur who greeted the Brawler girl first.

“Have you decided?” he asked, not expanding on what.

Sarah nodded. “Yeah.” She looked down at her hands. “I know I can kill. But, that’s not what I’m after, in the end.”

Arthur nodded sagely, and Clara tilted her head. “Uh, Sarah dear, you good?”

Sarah smiled at the Mage. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Will you be able to keep up for the rest of the Dungeon?” Gregory asked, focused on the immediate situation.

“Definitely,” Sarah assured him.

And so the Golden Swan and their Brawler collaborator continued through the first floor of the Dungeon. Sarah quickly got the hang of detecting traps, though she didn’t acquire any Skills.

To Delphi’s delight, Sarah was awful at finding treasure.

And as Gregory had said, there was a surprisingly large amount of treasure, even here on the first floor of a relatively well-explored, popular Dungeon. Secret passages led to hidden rooms, false walls in those hidden rooms led to even more secret passages, and some traps merely covered up treasure beneath them.

There was gold and silver and, given the Forest-Nature theme of the Dungeon, magical fruits, vegetables, herbs, and seeds.

“Be careful with treasure you find in Dungeons,” Lawrence warned Sarah as she picked up a glowing magical fruit, striped yellow and purple. “Especially with things you can eat or drink, and scrolls, and amulets, and—”

“Basically everything,” Clara cut him off.

Gregory nodded. “The best thing to do is go to an appraiser and get everything identified, even if you think you know what it is. Even the gold and silver. It does cost money, and cuts into your profits, but it’s worth it in the long run.”

They continued exploring until they reached a small room containing a metal door with a handle.

“We’ll stop here and take a break before we head back. Clara, how’s your magic?” Gregory declared and asked.

“About half,” Clara answered. “I should be good to go in an hour.”

“We’re not going to fight the boss?” Sarah asked.

Gregory shook his head. “No, we’re not here to clear the Dungeon, just make sure Delphi can handle herself. You did good, Sarah.”

Delphi nodded, displaying focus and self-assurance. “Yes, thank you, Sarah. The training was most helpful.”

Lawrence laughed. “You can say that again! It was so much easier not having to keep one eye on Delphi at all times.”

Delphi pouted, and Clara consoled her while Gregory prepared a small cookfire and started cooking a meal for everyone. Delphi and Lawrence sat so they could keep an eye on the small room’s open passage back to the first floor of the Dungeon, and everyone relaxed.

“So, Sarah,” Gregory said, “what do you think? Was the Scout training helpful?”

Sarah nodded. “Yeah! I feel like I really got the hang of detecting traps, even the monster summoning ones.”

Delphi’s expression fell. “I wish I could have helped more with treasure finding…”

Sarah shrugged. “I think that’s just beyond my limit as a Brawler. But when I get my second Class… I’m sure your instruction will pay off then, teacher.”

A small smile rose to Delphi’s lips.

“By the way, if you don’t mind me asking, teacher, what is your second Class? You have a double Perception boost right? And [Visual Acuity] is a synergy Skill, right?”

Delphi nodded. “Yes. Although to be more precise, my first Class is Artist. It’s my life’s calling. I only chose Trap and Treasure Detecting Scout as my second Class for self-defense and to make some money, I guess.”

Lawrence scoffed. “‘Some money,’ she says, like she’s not one of the wealthiest Scouts in Asufal by this point.”

Delphi only shrugged. “As long as I can afford my paints and canvases, it’s enough for me.”

Sarah frowned. “So Artist is your first Class?”

“Yes.”

One by one, the other members of the Golden Swan talked about their other Classes, and why they chose them.

“I chose Leader because it spoke to me, and I knew I could do good for those I cared about by taking on more responsibility,” Gregory admitted.

“My primary calling in life is the sword, but I also have a passion for learning, which led me to the Scholar Class. There happens to be good synergy between the Classes, but both learning and the sword are things I can devote my life to wholeheartedly,” said Arthur.

“I’m not actually a Light Mage,” Clara confessed. “I studied under a wizard, and cultivated as many affinities as I could, and my Class is actually Omni Mage. My other Class is Researcher, and I want to learn everything there is to know about magic. There are depths to magic that you wouldn’t believe…”

“My primary Class is Guardian,” Lawrence said boldly. “My calling in life is to protect others from harm. I always knew that was who I am as a person, and after taking the Guardian Class, I simply took the Class I thought would help me in doing that. It turned out to be Lancer. That’s how I ended up in the Rearguard position, but I love it. Even if it did have me keeping an eye on an airhead Scout for a while.” He winked at Delphi and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Sarah…” Gregory said, a serious expression on his face. “I know you’re saving your second Class for one that can find your brother. It’s a noble quest, certainly. But a Class is permanent. After you find your brother, what then? If your brother, gods forbid, passes away before you find him, what then? For us, if we somehow lost our combat Classes, we could still find fulfillment and live happy lives with just our other Class. Is…” he paused, reluctant to ask such a hard question to a girl so young, “is Brawler something you live for? That if you were only a Brawler, that would satisfy you?”

Sarah opened her mouth to answer yes right away, to just confirm that she was fine, but the look on Gregory’s face, on everyone’s face, gave her pause. It wasn’t just Gregory, all of the Golden Swan was giving her a look of concern she had never seen before.

No, not quite.

It was an expression she’d seen her Aunt Nadine make every now and then.

“Of c—I mean, uh, hmm…” Sarah cut herself off and closed her mouth, thinking.

For over three years, her singular goal had been to find James. To become capable enough to do so. The first part of the plan she had come up with at the tender age of twelve was to become a Brawler, to become the strongest fighter so that she could fight off whoever was holding James captive. The second part, being able to find him, was proving even harder.

After she found James… she hadn’t thought that far. How could she? But sitting here now, in a Dungeon with an A Rank party all of whom had just shared their Classes and the thought process behind them…

Was finding her brother really her reason for living? Was brawling really her reason for living? Would she be happy, fulfilled, and satisfied with two Classes dedicated to a goal with a definite ending?

“I…” Sarah said, hesitantly, “I don’t think Brawler is my reason for living. I like brawling, I’m pretty good at it, but…”

She thought about it. Really thought about it. Did she want to spend the rest of her life fighting all the time? Was that what she lived for?

No.

“But I don’t think that will fulfill me.”

The expressions on everyone else’s faces grew even more tense.

“You should think really hard about your second Class, then,” Gregory said sternly.

Even Clara nodded. “Gregory is right, dear. The Classes you choose are permanent.”

Delphi scrutinized the Brawler girl before her.

“Sarah… who are you?”