A RANT: Higher Learning is a show made via sims. So I can only use the resources available to me. I’m not a renowned director. I’m a regular ass bitch that uses a video game to make stories.

This will be long so bare with me.

I would just like to touch on one thing. I received a comment last night and an hour or so ago that was extremely demotivating and I honestly felt like the comment was questioning my character.

Someone said that I made Ronni, one of the darker characters in the show, “the thirstiest” and I made it seem like I had to force someone to hang out with her. I’m very aware of colorism in all aspects. Whether it be in film, tv or just everyday life. I’m very aware of how detrimental colorism has been to darkskinned black people. Especially darkskinned black women. Which is why I highlighted colorism in one of my episodes. I didn’t do that to soften the blow of Ronni being a terrible character. I did it because I wanted to and I feel like it’s an issue that should be addressed more in tv and film.

Never would I purposely try to depict a darkskinned person or in this case a darkskinned PIXELATED CHARACTER in a negative light. When I go into CAS and create characters for this show, I create them based on what looks good and realistic. I try to make sure all of my sims look different. I try to make sure that they look diverse. Higher Learning is made with THE SIMS 4 and I can only use what is available to me. So to say that my show depicts color hierarchy...when I literally created all of these characters with the cc that was AVAILABLE for me to use, is honestly a slap in the fucking face. If there were more than ONE OR TWO darkskinned alpha skins available to me at that time, more people in the main cast would be darkskinned. I couldn’t even make Ronni until later on because that skin wasn’t available at the time of this show’s conception. CC creators make new and advanced skins all the time. So to say that I purposely make my characters light skinned when I pride myself on diversity is a slap in the fucking face. It’s my fault that there weren’t many dark alpha skins available to me during the conception of this show? I had to cancel one of my shows because my drive crashed and I lost everything. If you been here for a minute, you know that the creation of HL was dependent on me having to cancel another show. The turnaround was extremely short. But color hierarchy when I LITERALLY TOUCH ON MAYA BEING LIGHT-SKINNED AND HAVING PRETTY PRIVILEGE EVERY CHANCE I GET? (SEE LAST EPISODE) (SEE HOW KIANA MET ROMAN MINISODE)

You cannot name me a show on tv that has a fat black woman being loved out loud. Where she’s not the butt of the joke or the sidekick. You can not find me a show where there’s a gay man that has multiple love interests and nowhere in his storyline isn’t about him or someone he likes being closeted. Or what about a black woman and man going to therapy? A black woman exploring her sexuality? I try to depict so many things in this show. And apparently none of that matters because Ronni, the darkest character in the show is the “villain” and gets read for filth. Like just completely disregard all of the lighter characters that have terrible traits as well. Completely disregard Kayla who is probably worse than Ronni in a lot of ways. Completely disregard Sean and Lisa being the villains all season 1. And Adonis basically turning into a villain this season.

I write this show as I go along. I even throw shit in the script so people can understand that Ronni isn’t insecure. She knows that she’s pretty. She even told Sasha that she can get any girl she wants but she wants her. It has nothing to do her thirsting after a “light skinned woman” if you are a writer that writes shit as you go like I do for this show, you come up with plots and storylines on the fly. I put Ronni in that role because it flowed with the storyline. I ALSO put Ronni in that role because she’s one of my better looking/realistic sims. Nothing about her character is stereotypical. I never see darkskinned black women in roles where they’re able to be a villain. Gabby Union is probably the one. But that role is always reserved for blonde frail white women.

I would love to see darkskinned women in more roles. Roles that allow them to be the villain. Roles that allow them to be the anti hero. Dark skinned women shouldn’t be placed in a box.

If I am ever given the opportunity to create an actual show with real people, people that are actually close to me know how much I want dark skinned people to be at the forefront. So to nitpick me like that when I simply use the resources available to me? When I literally complain about the ashy ass skin tones the sims provided for us with this game? When I lose sleep to create this black ass show with characters that are black as fuck and diverse and relatable? A show made with a video game? To nitpick me about some pixelated characters? When I know how much I advocate for darkskinned people IN REAL LIFE?! When I won’t even watch certain shows IN REAL LIFE if I think the cast is too light or racially ambiguous?! WHEN JAZMINE IN SWAG WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO BE LIGHT SKINNED BUT I MADE MY SIS A DARKSKINNED BADDIE?! To nitpick me like I’m not a small ass aspiring director with literally zero clout or pull. USING A DAMN VIDEO GAME TO BRING MY STORIES TO LIFE? When there are so many large directors with seats at the table that have power to add diversity in their shows and but chose not to? It’s a slap in the fucking face. And it’s demotivating.

But thank you to everyone who continues to support me. Thank you to all of the cc creators that do their best to create content. Thank you to everyone that understands that this is not a real show and that I can only create characters with the resources that are available to me and that there were like 2 or 3 dark alpha skins available when I created this show. Thanks to everyone who remembers from atl with love. Thanks to everyone who watches sisters of apf. Thanks to everyone who watches swag. It’s ironic that all of the other shows that I directed BESIDES HL had darkskinned leads. Very ironic indeed.