Foreshadowing and Dramatic Irony...Irony...Irony...Irony...

Hey there. Late comment, but only just became a patron today and saw this post, so I thought I'd chip in my two cents on this. *SPOILERS FOR ANYONE READING WHO IS NOT THE CREATOR* Edit: This ended up becoming a friggin thesis and I'm sorry. TL;DR Dramatic Irony: I don't think it works in first person narratives, it just ends up making the main character look unintelligent for the sake of tension. Foreshadowing: It can work but be careful with just what kind of information you're giving the audience. If you want the later reveal to still be surprising, you have to treat the audience with intelligence. Atmosphere: Atmosphere is your biggest friend when it comes to tension in first person narratives. If the mood is tense, we're tense. So let's tackle dramatic irony first. This is a tool used in various mediums, but I feel where it is most effectively used is television, movies, and comic books. Certainly better for visual mediums rather then written ones. The visual novel is tricky though because unlike all of those visual mediums, THIS visual medium functions as a first-person novel more often than not. Some companies like Telltale have delved into first-person games with multiple Point of View characters, such as Tales from The Borderlands, and in that type of game, dramatic irony can work remarkably well. As of right now though, your game is a first person narrative with no multiple perspectives, and dramatic irony is a VERY difficult line to walk in that kind of story. For example, I'll dive into that time honored visual novel trope, the oblivious main character who is too stupid to see that another character is in love with them. You see it everywhere in VN's and it has got to be one of the most infuriating tropes there are for the simple reason that it makes the main character seem oblivious. Another character does something that clearly shows they are in love with or have affection for the protagonist, and the protagonist, even if they are intelligent in most scenes, suddenly acts like a dumbass who can't pick up on social queues. However, you're talking about it in more of a suspense way, so I'll tackle it from there. Suddenly moving from seeing things through the eyes of the main character to seeing something that he clearly does not see is jarring and ignores the strength of a first person narrative, that strength being the lack of separation between reader and character. When something happens to the main character in a first person narration, we are scared because we are right there living it with them. Jumping to a quick third person perspective to try and achieve tension I think would be working against you, because you've now created that degree of separation between reader and character. This attack from beastmen is no longer happening to us, but to Katan and is therefore less frightening. And I would CERTAINLY not go with the last example where we cut away to a few beastmen and one of them says "Capture him" as this is actually another way to reduce tension. There is fear in the unknown, and seeing this just clarifies what the stakes are. Katan needs to get away or he will be captured by beastmen. Now if we didn't have that line of dialogue, we wouldn't know what their plans for Kieran are. Enslave? Kidnap? Kill? Ransom? Torture? So many terrible possibilities, why not have your audience believe that all are as equally likely. When it comes to tension a LACK of clarity is always better. And even if it IS clear what's going to happen, I wouldn't have your characters state it outright to the audience. Now as for foreshadowing. I would be extra careful with this one. It's not a bad fit for a first person visual novel like I think dramatic irony is, but it's best totread lightly and treat your audience like they are intelligent. For instance. (Spoilers) I knew Katan's Aunt and Uncle were sketchy right from the get go. I'm not sure what you intended the audience to know, but here is how I, as someone who played the Koshiro route first (And no other's so far, though I am working on fixing that) interpreted it. You made it a point to tell the audience just how close they were to Katan. On numerous ocassions, different characters point out just how close the MC is with his Aunt and Uncle. It became clear that this knowledge was not just important for characterisation but IMPERATIVE to know. I got the feeling that, in the Koshiro route, we were supposed to have no knowledge of their possible treachery until Koshiro and Seshiro approach Katan with his Aunt's locket. But again, for me personally, you had made a point to address just how close Katan and his Aunt and Uncle were maybe one time too many. And if an author works so hard to set an expectation, an audience may logically jump to the conclusion that it's because you will eventually attempt to subvert it. Foreshadowing relates to this kind of thing because you are ACTIVELY dropping hints rather then subconsciously this time and again, if your goal is tension, fear of the unknown is your biggest friend here. a little bit of foreshadowing can be nice, but if you make the hints too obvious, a savvy reader will piece together what's happening before it happens. If your goal here is tension, in a first person narrative, I would use atmosphere as your tool.vRather then worry about giving your readers a clue as to what's happening while Katan is walking home, have Katan feel off for some reason. Cut out any sound aside from some white noise. Make the MC tense and we will be tense. And when it gets to the attack, really drag out the build up. Have him wake up in bed, hear shuffling, twigs breaking, feeling a presence. Have him call out to see if someone is there, or start reaching for his blade. But whatever tension you build should be through his actions and reactions, not jumping out of body to get a quick look at what's happening 20 feet behind him. Hope that this helps. Once again, I'm really sorry that this turned into a thesis and hope you aren't annoyed by it. I'm loving reading this story and can't wait to see where you take it next. ^_^

Morris

When is the next update?

Small addition: > when you not only read through events, but kinda experience them Though sometimes I want a dialogue option 'stop bitching and carry on already', especially in Ramos route. But what can I understand, I'm not a prince. :))

IMO, that depends on what kind of immersion you want to achieve. With your turn of phrase, you could create masterpiece either way. :) Though, in my opinion, current writing style really contributes to the 'first person' immersion, when you not only read through events, but kinda experience them. Foreshadowing will contribute to the overall story, but will shift it to more 'narrative' style. Also you need to rework already finished scenes to avoid sudden transitions from one style to another. Again, in my personal opinion, it could be a good addition, especially with some events, that will have effect in the future, but could be forgotten by the player while he advances the story. Like the scene with the pedant and that-ratman-sorry-forgot-his-name, we all know that one day consequences of that event will emerge, but it will be a shame to forget about it at all, being consumed by further more dramatic events, and then suddenly 'wait? what pedant? ah! that one, from the start of the game! I already forgot about it!'. And I really love current 'first person' style. Maybe, this events could be included as interludes between chapters. Such approach could allow you not to change or interrupt 'first person' style narrative, but still shift focus from the protagonist to other important characters, explain their ideas, their motivations etc. etc. Anyway, summarising all that I wrote, I think, being properly implemented, it's a good idea, but it still could drastically change player experience, which is, as I think, now kinda unique among other VNs. So if you want to implement it, it's okay, but you need to be cautious.

While it could be interesting now and then, i feel it's a bit more immersive to only know what the MC knows.

As long as it isn’t overdone, I think both would be fine additions to the story.

If you can use these literary tools more sparingly, then I think they'll add a nice bit of spice to the writing. I am opposed, however, to directly giving the audience information that the MC does not know of. If you foreshadow, it has to be in bits and pieces. It's alright if the audience can piece it together themselves, but as long as it is not too obvious, it'll be fine.

Fayle

I would like to see some foreshadowing and even dramatic irony at points during the story. Used in the right places it can really increase suspense for the reader. He worked in a different medium but Alfred Hitchcock talked about showing a bomb under a table and then showing a scene if two men talking at the table. The audience goes through minutes of suspense knowing that something could/will happen to these oblivious characters. If you just set the bomb off they only get a quick scare. The same for us knowing that something is threatening the MC while he isn't aware. When and where it gets used, I trust you to get it right.

North Grizz

sounds interesting, it would be nice to see something like that in the next built

GustavoGE

I like the fact I'm immersed into the story by only knowing what the MC knows, it adds more of a mystery for the reader to solve while playing all 3 paths. But although adding more foreshadowing wouldn't hurt to the story either. I personally think you should follow your gut with which decision to make. So far it has been you who has been guiding us through this marvelous adventure with no help needed. I believe your decision will make the story keep its spark regardless if it fits to popular demand or not.

Moon

To put it simple, I don't like when I know more that the character, because then I often get angry at him instead of emphasize with him. I want to feel what character feels, I want to feel tension when he does. Only foreshadowing I like is in retrospects, replaying the route or different ones, when all the pieces fall into place and I get things I didn't notice before.

Jacek Jagosz

Ignorance is bliss, I say. Foreshadowing can add to the suspense by leaving us wondering whether or not we made the right choice or if so and so is good or bad, whilst dramatic irony would take said suspense away and replace it with intrigue. Let's say you reveal someone who we thought was good as a villain, but the MC and the rest of his merry band of misfits doesn't know about said revelation. It could work, I've seen dramatic irony work before, i'm just a fan of the tense and suspenseful "knowing only what the MC knows" kind of writing. Let the story unfold before my eyes, I say! ~(˘▾˘~)

I'm all for trying it out, but I think I prefer it the way it is now. I like being surprised along with the MC. :p

afoxbutt

Personally I like the idea of dramatic irony. A lot of authors that I read use similar methods for their stories, especially if there are multiple characters and you are switching viewpoints, so as the reader you are aware of a lot of things happening that the characters aren't. Foreshadowing I believe is a given, because it's easy for an author to hint at things to come (whether intentional or not) simply by virtue of the fact that they have a plan in place to lead the story from one point to another and will write it in such a way that it makes sense to them that a savoy reader will pick up on by inferring from context or making an intuitive leap.

Richard