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AuthorPalt

AuthorPalt

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A Gamer's Guide 199

It takes a second or so to reel from the realization that I won’t actually have to kill him, at which point I hastily blurt out, “I need you to agree to join the Evil Claw pirates.”

“...

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A Gamer's Guide 198

I carry Vann over to our ship, avoiding the uncertain looks from the younger members of the crew. I’m sure I could explain it away by saying that humans have a biological craving for goblin meat ...

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A Gamer's Guide 197

He grumbles something at me about this being terribly unfair before making the two hostages follow us up back onto deck. Going by smell, I can tell that everyone is gathered all nice and tidy in th...

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A Gamer's Guide 196

With an unwilling but submitted Nazzo on top of my shoulder, I head down into the hull. I would’ve been more wary of a possible ambush if I hadn’t been able to smell exactly what was going on d...

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A Gamer's Guide 195

Days turn into weeks. I have it good.

For one, I get to experience my first real pillaging. It was exciting. Suddenly everyone was so serious, being fully aware that any of us could die. Peop...

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A Gamer's Guide 194

My eyes slowly move over the message.

…I’m on the twenty-second floor now, huh? That explains what the god of cruelty was on about. This.

A warm hand rubs my shoulder and I...

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Art made by a real artist!

It’s true!

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A Gamer's Guide 193

The rest of the day passed quietly. We had lunch, and I enjoyed some goblin cuisine for the first time in a while. I tried to tell Coda how I didn’t need to eat, but he forced food onto me, so I ...

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A Gamer's Guide 192

“Kitty’s awake and fully healed!” Coda exclaims loudly to the gathered crew members. Now that I’m counting them, there are actually only nine of them. Can you really have an entire ship wit...

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A Gamer's Guide 191

I jolt awake, lungs burning from the fact that I’m miraculously alive. I do a quick inventory check—conscious: yep. Arms: still there: Legs, back. Ribs: in their places. All five senses: up and...

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Various thingies

Totally unrelated to anything that may or may not be going on, yup yup yup

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Various drawings and sketches

I be out here drawin. Will try to get back into writing soon. Unfortunately I got ADD and Autism and my brain randomly decided it was time to spend all hours of the day researching the french revol...

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A Gamer's Guide 190

I come to, already standing in the lobby. H—how long have I been here?

<Top—Status—Community>

<00:03:32

Day 550>

<The nineteenth attempt will begin in View Post

A Gamer's Guide 189

…What the heck just happened?

<You have cleared the twentieth floor.>

<You have received 1 000

points for clearing the floor.

You have received an additional

<...

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A Gamer's Guide 188

I almost throw the thing away. It’s weird. It’s wrong. Don’t ask me for that. I can’t save you—I can’t save anyone. Please stop expecting things from me that I can’t give you...

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A Gamer's Guide 187

The world shifts harshly and the ground beneath my feet sways, catching me just before I can tumble ass-over-kettle. As soon as I’m able to stand upright again, the smell of ash and cinders hits ...

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A Gamer's Guide 186

And just like that, I’m back in the lobby. Paint, paint, paint...

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Since your magic is dumb and useless, I have no need for it, and will therefore be—

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A Gamer's Guide 185

I arrive in the lobby. WHITE, WHITE, WHITE. The standard, that is.

<To repay your debt,

your inventory has been sold

for 32 points.>

<Current debt:

166 001 po...

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A Gamer's Guide 184

“Hey Kitty!”

I jerk out of a state I hope was meditation. Who—huh? Oh! Standing up, I wave at Moleman as he approaches on his simple bike. “What took you so long, man? I thought I was...

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A Gamer's Guide 183

Despite not understanding a word he said, his declaration does nothing but feed the fire of her excitement.

Realizing her arrows were useless, she pulls her sword from her sheath and dashes a...

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A Gamer's Guide 182

I wake up by way of instantly entering a sitting position, almost throwing my covers clear off, my face flashing back and forth, memories of arrows and guns and roses crashing and tumbling through ...

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A Gamer's Guide 181

She’s breathing heavily and smiling, holding her bow in one hand with her other hand resting on the hilt of her short sword. I’m also breathing heavily, though I’m not really in any place to ...

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A Gamer's Guide 180

Her spurs jingle with each step, her face shadowed by the brim of her hat, yet still clearly grinning. Casual. Her posture is full of holes and openings, so many places I could attack from, but at ...

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A Gamer's Guide 179

“Another bloodless victory! Has Kitty turned over a new leaf, or is he saving his claws for the big finale? Let’s find out! Everyone, please welcome the Hard Difficulty floor thirty-six...

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A Gamer's Guide 178

“With that done, let’s all welcome our next challenger to the stage! Give a big hand to AccordingToAccordion of the twenty-eighth floor, who despite his diminutive size, weighs in at a ...

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A Gamer's Guide 177

“So, when’s the next one? I’m in great shape, I could take anyone on right now!”

Moleman rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. Proudly. “You took a sword to the ...

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A Gamer's Guide 176

“Kitty, hey, Kitty, wake up…” Someone’s gently shaking my shoulders, but I’m pretty content just lying here, meditating, not really thinking about much of anything… “Kitty, come on, w...

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Tier Revision (properly this time!)

Heyo! Remember how I tried and failed to raise the prices a week or two back and I made myself look like the buffoon I truly am? Well, thanks to the suggestion helpfully sent to me by Llac, I now k...

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A Gamer's Guide 175

A few hours later, Moleman and his party take the stage for their skirmish. Since they’re alone on floor 66, it’s only them. They could’ve just decided on a winner beforehand, but no. Apparen...

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A Gamer's Guide 174

“—But you understand why I had to do it, right?”

“...Of course,” Moleman says, head in his hands, back hunched.

“I didn’t mean it,” I lie. “I was just making things up...

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