A Gamer's Guide 199
It takes a second or so to reel from the realization that I won’t actually have to kill him, at which point I hastily blurt out, “I need you to agree to join the Evil Claw pirates.”
“...
2023-12-17 15:26:10 +0000 UTC View Post
AuthorPalt posts
A Gamer's Guide 198
I carry Vann over to our ship, avoiding the uncertain looks from the younger members of the crew. I’m sure I could explain it away by saying that humans have a biological craving for goblin meat ...
2023-12-17 15:22:55 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 197
He grumbles something at me about this being terribly unfair before making the two hostages follow us up back onto deck. Going by smell, I can tell that everyone is gathered all nice and tidy in th...
2023-12-17 15:18:18 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 196
With an unwilling but submitted Nazzo on top of my shoulder, I head down into the hull. I would’ve been more wary of a possible ambush if I hadn’t been able to smell exactly what was going on d...
2023-12-12 16:55:08 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 195
Days turn into weeks. I have it good.
For one, I get to experience my first real pillaging. It was exciting. Suddenly everyone was so serious, being fully aware that any of us could die. Peop...
2023-12-12 16:51:32 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 194
My eyes slowly move over the message.
…I’m on the twenty-second floor now, huh? That explains what the god of cruelty was on about. This.
A warm hand rubs my shoulder and I...
2023-12-12 16:46:37 +0000 UTC View Post
A Gamer's Guide 193
The rest of the day passed quietly. We had lunch, and I enjoyed some goblin cuisine for the first time in a while. I tried to tell Coda how I didn’t need to eat, but he forced food onto me, so I ...
2023-12-08 21:04:25 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 192
“Kitty’s awake and fully healed!” Coda exclaims loudly to the gathered crew members. Now that I’m counting them, there are actually only nine of them. Can you really have an entire ship wit...
2023-12-08 20:59:38 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 191
I jolt awake, lungs burning from the fact that I’m miraculously alive. I do a quick inventory check—conscious: yep. Arms: still there: Legs, back. Ribs: in their places. All five senses: up and...
2023-12-08 20:54:41 +0000 UTC View PostVarious thingies
Totally unrelated to anything that may or may not be going on, yup yup yup
2023-11-23 15:43:53 +0000 UTC View PostVarious drawings and sketches
I be out here drawin. Will try to get back into writing soon. Unfortunately I got ADD and Autism and my brain randomly decided it was time to spend all hours of the day researching the french revol...
2023-11-18 08:42:04 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 190
I come to, already standing in the lobby. H—how long have I been here?
<Top—Status—Community>
<00:03:32
Day 550>
<The nineteenth attempt will begin in 2023-10-17 17:23:38 +0000 UTC View Post
A Gamer's Guide 189
…What the heck just happened?
<You have cleared the twentieth floor.>
<You have received 1 000
points for clearing the floor.
You have received an additional
<... 2023-09-27 08:56:35 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 188
I almost throw the thing away. It’s weird. It’s wrong. Don’t ask me for that. I can’t save you—I can’t save anyone. Please stop expecting things from me that I can’t give you...
2023-09-27 08:54:04 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 187
The world shifts harshly and the ground beneath my feet sways, catching me just before I can tumble ass-over-kettle. As soon as I’m able to stand upright again, the smell of ash and cinders hits ...
2023-09-27 08:51:06 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 186
And just like that, I’m back in the lobby. Paint, paint, paint...
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Since your magic is dumb and useless, I have no need for it, and will therefore be—
A Gamer's Guide 185
I arrive in the lobby. WHITE, WHITE, WHITE. The standard, that is.
<To repay your debt,
your inventory has been sold
for 32 points.>
<Current debt:
166 001 po...
2023-09-24 14:05:58 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 184
“Hey Kitty!”
I jerk out of a state I hope was meditation. Who—huh? Oh! Standing up, I wave at Moleman as he approaches on his simple bike. “What took you so long, man? I thought I was...
2023-09-21 15:13:26 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 183
Despite not understanding a word he said, his declaration does nothing but feed the fire of her excitement.
Realizing her arrows were useless, she pulls her sword from her sheath and dashes a...
2023-09-21 15:11:14 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 182
I wake up by way of instantly entering a sitting position, almost throwing my covers clear off, my face flashing back and forth, memories of arrows and guns and roses crashing and tumbling through ...
2023-09-21 15:09:11 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 181
She’s breathing heavily and smiling, holding her bow in one hand with her other hand resting on the hilt of her short sword. I’m also breathing heavily, though I’m not really in any place to ...
2023-09-19 15:53:03 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 180
Her spurs jingle with each step, her face shadowed by the brim of her hat, yet still clearly grinning. Casual. Her posture is full of holes and openings, so many places I could attack from, but at ...
2023-09-19 15:49:31 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 179
“Another bloodless victory! Has Kitty turned over a new leaf, or is he saving his claws for the big finale? Let’s find out! Everyone, please welcome the Hard Difficulty floor thirty-six...
2023-09-17 17:24:42 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 178
“With that done, let’s all welcome our next challenger to the stage! Give a big hand to AccordingToAccordion of the twenty-eighth floor, who despite his diminutive size, weighs in at a ...
2023-09-17 17:22:24 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 177
“So, when’s the next one? I’m in great shape, I could take anyone on right now!”
Moleman rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. Proudly. “You took a sword to the ...
2023-09-17 17:19:10 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 176
“Kitty, hey, Kitty, wake up…” Someone’s gently shaking my shoulders, but I’m pretty content just lying here, meditating, not really thinking about much of anything… “Kitty, come on, w...
2023-09-17 17:16:14 +0000 UTC View PostTier Revision (properly this time!)
Heyo! Remember how I tried and failed to raise the prices a week or two back and I made myself look like the buffoon I truly am? Well, thanks to the suggestion helpfully sent to me by Llac, I now k...
2023-09-15 09:39:54 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 175
A few hours later, Moleman and his party take the stage for their skirmish. Since they’re alone on floor 66, it’s only them. They could’ve just decided on a winner beforehand, but no. Apparen...
2023-09-02 10:29:41 +0000 UTC View PostA Gamer's Guide 174
“—But you understand why I had to do it, right?”
“...Of course,” Moleman says, head in his hands, back hunched.
“I didn’t mean it,” I lie. “I was just making things up...
2023-09-02 10:06:13 +0000 UTC View Post