tedsteel

1.56 - Chester Knights

Double-sized bumper chapter! Roar! Thanks for your support.

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56.

Football glossary: The Treble. In most countries, the best thing a team can do is win 'the treble'. ...

1.55 - Chester Nights

55.

The game ended Chester 0 Darlington 1.

Darlington had the better players but ensured the match stayed as a boring war of attrition. The one moment of quality in the game ...

1.54 - Bizarre Rants

54.

As we neared half-time, Jackie was suddenly talking into his phone. He'd had it on vibrate instead of being obnoxious. Plus 10 relationship points!

His tone was... hard t...

1.53 - Talented Youngsters

53.

Jackie and another dude came into my little room. Jackie took the swivel chair to my left while the other guy flipped down a little seat built into the wall and sat there. Obvi...

1.52 - Sexy Beast

52.

It was a relief having some time alone, and deciphering and filling in the match report was a fun challenge. But my mind kept wandering. Kept returning to the same, distressing...

1.51 - Medical Devices

51.

What do I have in common with Lionel Messi (7x Ballon D'Or winner)?

What do I have in common with Ryan Giggs (13x Premier League winner)?

What do I have in common w...

1.50 - Chester Zoo

50.

On the way to Wrexham, we stopped off in Chester. I'd never been there before. Pretty much the only things I knew about it were that Jackie had played for them a few years befo...

1.49 - Detours

49.

One does not simply walk into Mordor. And one does not simply drive into Liverpool.

"I need a break," I said.

"What?"

"My leg hurts. I need to potter around a...

1.48 - Passenger

48.

Football glossary: Passenger. A player who sits back while his teammates do all the work. Used unfairly to describe Mesut Özil from 2016-2017. Used fairly to describe Mesut Ö...

1.47 - Painkillers

47.

Watching me and Raffi did something to Graham. Instead of trying to do insane video game tricks every time he got the ball, he got simple. Simple pass, move into space, track b...

1.46 - Soulmates

46.

Brandy is borderline disgusting, but it's what heroes drink in action movies when they've taken damage and want to keep fighting. My situation was more complicated - I wanted t...

1.45 - The Hospital Pass

45.

Football glossary: Hospital Pass. When a teammate passes the ball to you in such a way that you are likely to be clobbered by someone on the other team.

***

On Thur...

1.44 - Landing on Green

44.

Raffi Brown. A few weeks before, he had been my dream client, and to some extent my dream footballer. I loved how he played. Now, he was... let's say he was PG Tips. My favouri...

1.43 - Making History

43.

After a little stroll where I rehearsed the Kisi sales pitch - She's fast! She's dynamic! She's motivated! - I went back to my car and turned my phone on. Ziggy had sent a few ...

1.42 - Mind the Gap

42.

"So, James. Youngster." I felt one side of my mouth lifting up. I didn't have high hopes for this contest, but I wanted to enjoy it, at least. "You have decided to sign the con...

1.41 - The Manchester Derby

41.

The ulcer dude was so furious with me he didn't retake his seat. He must have fucked off somewhere else and watched from there, quietly fuming. I'd be lying if I said that brought me no j...

1.40 - Oldham Athletic

40.

My seat was a normal plastic fold-up deal, like every other one in the stadium, but there was a nice open space behind it that made it seem more premium. It made me think of those headsto...

1.39 - Shocktober

39.

Saturday October 1st

Didn't murder my friends but I did murder a couple of pints. Woke up feeling really happy. At one with the universe. Not thinking about grinding and hustling, j...

1.38 - Five Goals in Six Minutes

38.

Six minutes to go. Still ahead by four. But the clock starting to drag. Time stretching. Maybe the City coach had her own curse with her own perks. 'Fergie Time,' perhaps, named after the...

1.37 - A Blue Wave

37.

We hadn't talked tactics, but so hyped were the players that they'd defaulted to the false midfield formation. 3-0-3. The problem was that City thought we were going to park the bus again...

1.36 - The Half-Time Team Talk

36.

Jane in goal, alert in the D, the white, painted curve that defined the area where she was allowed to handle the ball. Six Beth Heads on patrol. Six rumbling, trundling forts forcing City...

1.35 - Free Hit

35.

One of the reasons I wanted to use the Bench Boost perk in this game was the fact that it was rolling subs. Normally, in professional games you could bring on 3 substitutes and you'd do s...

1.34 - Manchester City Under 16s

I didn't enjoy work that Friday. I spent the whole day feeling like I'd seen something twisted and grotesque, but I hadn't. Not really. I'd seen some numbers turn red. Simon's leg hadn't actually c...

1.33 - The Beautiful Game

33.

"I dedicate this book to all the people who have made this great game the Beautiful Game." The autobiography of Pele (who won the World Cup a record 3 times with Brazil).

<...

1.32 - A Time of Triumph

32.

The Met Heads's starting seven set up in the 2-2-2 formation. Jane - Beth and Nobby - Freyja and Sophia - Lula and Bella. On the other team, mimicking City's 2-3-1 formation: Jackie in go...

1.31 - The False 9

31.

Football glossary: 'The False 9'. Shirt number 9 was historically given to a tall, strong striker who was good at headers. As tactics evolved, the need for this kind of striker diminished...

1.30 - Shithousery

30.

Football glossary: Shithousery. (Previously known as gamesmanship.) Underhanded conduct aimed at gaining an advantage.

***

Can you blame me for danci...

Artwork! Images From You-Know-What

Hi guys. Not sure if this is fun or annoying or what. Please let me know.

When I was writing chapter 27 I was thinking that the Champion Manager screens would be perfect for one of those AI a...

1.29 - Max Beth

29.

"Youngster!" said the pastor, full of affection.

There was applause and some pleased leg slapping. A couple of 'hallelujahs' maybe, but that might have been my atheist brain running...

1.28 - Compare and Contrast

28.

I'd like to start by assuring you that my life got back on an even keel, that the next few days were spent calmly grinding for XP, and that nothing else weird happened.

I'd like to ...