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Ancilla L

Ancilla L

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Ancilla L posts

The Search For Meaning.

Prelude: This is a literary translation of an Urdu song/ghazal. I know you are tempted not to read it but give me a moment to convince you. It's a beautiful song and language shouldn't be a barrier...

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Podcast E48: Pre, After and Self-Care For Particularly Intense Scenes/Play.

Aftercare is frequently discussed and generally accepted as a good practise, however, we talk less about aftercare for CNC, particularly intense scenes or longer-term play. This is that conversatio...

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A Penitent Season: Day 14

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-13 05:14:17 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 13

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-12 01:16:58 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 12

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-11 01:43:02 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 11

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-10 01:09:22 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 10

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-09 00:17:48 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 9

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-08 01:12:47 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 8

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-07 01:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 7

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-06 00:02:55 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 6

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can a2023-03-05 01:55:04 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 5

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can 2023-03-03 17:13:23 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 4

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's my our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You2023-03-02 16:38:15 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 3

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's my our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can access the entire<...

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A Penitent Season: Day 2

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's my our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. 2023-03-01 02:24:19 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Day 1

Note: This is a series of 14-days of erotic penance written in real-time available exclusively to my patrons. It's my our observation of a real fucked up version of Lent. You can read the 2023-02-28 02:37:15 +0000 UTC View Post

A Penitent Season: Prologue.

Note: This is the (publicly-posted) prologue to a series of writings that span a 14-day period of erotic penance. I will post one every day and it will only be available to Patreons who subscribe t...

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Secret Faith.

When she was little, my sister used to go to a Gurudwara in secret on her way to school every day. We weren't raised in a particularly religious household, at least, in that we were not taught a fa...

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Podcast E47: An Exploration of Gaslighting.

I've been gaslit. You've been gaslit. We've all been gaslit. Now, let's scratch the surface. 

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A Broken Song

I woke up to the strangest sound. It had been raining heavily since midnight and the sound of the thunder which had engulfed me like a warm blanket through the night was being interrupted by a bird...

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A Previously Loved Toy.

He pushed his hand down on my chest, and when it scared me enough to back away and gasp, he laughed.

"Who's going to stop me?" He asked, "No one's ever coming for you, my little orphan." View Post

Fuck A Cheating Woman.

"You are disloyal," he said to me, "A faithless fucking woman."

It's not untrue. I think nothing of cheating in many ways. Now that I am in a respectful, healthy relationship, I wouldn't che...

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Podcast E46: The Indian Identity And White People.

I have been interacting with a group of expats who have settled down in a small town in India for the purpose of their devotion and I am learning a lot about the impact of globalised racism. <...

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Why I Grew My Hair.

Mama used to brush my hair with a fine-toothed comb right after she made me dry them in the sun. I hated it so much. She didn't let me loosen the knots in my hair while they were still wet because ...

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What She Did With My Lover.

Her shoe fell on the right side of my face. I saw it slip off her foot and fall the three-feet between my bed and the floor but I couldn't get out of its way. My neck was secured so tightly to the ...

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Podcast E45: Sexual fetishes as states of mind.

Is it really about a whip? A gag? An action? Or are we trying to curate specific states of being with the things we do? Is emotion the actual underlying fetish to everything? Oh, and what are the e...

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Unrecognisable.

 


"I'll be right back, babbear," he said to me, as he bolted out of the bedroom.

I giggled at the hypocorism he often uses to address me. I remember the night he started usi...

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A Story Made Of Invisible Ink.

While walking out of the living room she noticed that all the candles in the silver stand where not the same. The two on the right were long, white tapered candles but the one on the left was a tap...

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Podcast E44: Aging: Sexually, socially and professionally.

We talk about aging in very specific settings (either health or experience as an excuse for sanctimony), but there is so much more to aging that goes undiscussed. 

And then there are tax...

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Illegitimate Children Of The Night.

'You and I, illegitimate children of the night. We know, don't we, darkness is not the opposite of light.'

It was dark. The kind of darkness you cannot grow accustomed to because it...

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