So....

The 1st full moon on July24th was full power, some beautiful, some tower like moments, I am establishing whether I have fallen in love with a man boy- a word to describe a man in a mans body who has the emotional age of a boy, which means having a healthy relationship would not be possible.

It has been chaotic but exciting. I have been needing time out for myself to reflect on my life, never feel like I get enough time to really have an answer. I know that i am not desperately unhappy, and life is not necessarily about what we do and be but how we feel. I don't feel desperately unhappy or even unhappy but if I were to be the magician of my life I am not convinced I would look at my life and say "oh yes, this is exactly what I want to create"....

I have never paid much attention to the moon, but since this impacting connection with this guy, we met on the full moon, and full moons can bring out the best and worst in a person, I lost a close friend, two in fact, it feels like life is kicking out people who are not in alignment and of course it is sad, but life makes way for new people to enter, nature abhors a vacuum after all. I am behind on my vlogs. That is typically me. I am a start up girl. By that i mean I love the excitement of a new idea, a new project, like the 30 day vlogging, but once I get to around the 21-25 day mark....the consistency becomes hard to keep up with...life presents something else for me to get excited about....but I choose to keep my commitment to make 30 days of vlogs...and I may still continue....

I really need to reflect on how I want my life to be, feel. We focus on how our life looks like, focussing on external accomplishments and external validation and approval, neglecting the inner approval. All that really matters is how do I feel?

Am I at peace? is there peace in my world? If I want excitement in the form of challenge or plain excitement, different things happening everyday, meeting new people, etc then how do I bring that into existence?

I received an email the other day saying that Patreon and Vimeo have livestreaming now...I pay a lot for Vimeo (a patreon requirement) but they always want you to have the highest paid plan, and my plan is already too big for what I need, so I don't hold my breath that even on my pro plan it will include livestreaming....I will let you know...I am not paying anymore costs, as you can understand after paypal commission costs, patreon fees, gmail email costs, and vimeo and tax....it doesn't make it worth it...but I like the idea of live streaming a lot!

I will let you know.....

OK, it's 6.30am and i have an hour and a half before I have to be ready to travel 2 hours to my little shop job in Malta...so let me get on with some video uploading....

Ciao

Suze ;-)