Patreon, R&P Q&A #231
Added 2023-08-09 21:27:34 +0000 UTCPatreon, R&P Q&A #231
https://youtube.com/live/zXpMFiskPNU
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Field report #4 Goal: 5 cold approaches per week started strong lifts 5x5 squat 170 should press 50 deadlift 260 bench 120 (no spot) row 130 The plan is to increase weight by 5 pounds every workout Sent a full separation agreement with child support and spousal support calculations, equalization payment minus all the bills we are both responsible for since splitting that I've been solely paying. Her response was "this is laughable" - my calculations were all mid-range. We are mediating it next week and I'm going in prepared. Attempting to get out of spousal support if she cohabits with someone for 6 months, remarries, and after 5 years regardless. LFG Ex didn't have a bathing suit for our son and told him I would drop it off before talking to me about it. I swooped in and dropped it off at camp for him. Looking forward to having an agreement signed so I can stop playing beta and enforce the fuck out of the agreement terms. For now I'm trying to keep the peace and concede on small shit like this. Went to a BBQ at my local weed shop. Chick was there I've met before and I was wearing a shirt with her weed brand on it. She took a selfie with me and asked for my Instagram so she could tag me. I told her I don't have Instagram (fer fucks sake) We were chatting and she showed me a facebook group "are we dating the same guy" and she said I might be on there and I told here that's why I'm not on social media. Signs were there but I'm retarted and didn't get her number. Bury the lede - I've been on SSRI's for the past 2 years. Considering going off of them but with the divorce I'm not sure how it would go.
4thMostImportant
2023-08-10 20:47:43 +0000 UTCThe first part of this report highlights many problems that are much better by the end of it. I asked my wife if she wanted to have sex. She did, but wanted to chat and have a drink first. I have found that asking has yielded better results than assertiveness as I tend to come off pushy, in a bad way. During the chat, I’ll try to make things more fun or playful after the wife takes things in a not so fun direction, not successfully this time. We did end up having sex, but it was meh. Early on in my MAP I had stopped jerking off. I found that this did two things. One, if I wasn’t having sex, I was pissed off, it was motivating. I was horny more often and that was a good thing. It worked and less jerking off led to more sex. Well this time, I jerked off and preferred it to bad sex. A bunch of my neediness went away. I think I understand that chapter in NMMNG. I finished reading Heartiste on game. There is an infectious attitude in the writing. I was rather checked out. This helped me realize what I have to work on. What are my biggest behavioral holes? I set a goal. Grab the wife and fuck her(or at least make the attempt), don’t ask, don’t chat before hand, etc. Wife initiated maybe 30 minutes before I planned, so I failed the goal, but don’t care got laid. We stuck to the script. Chat, wine, fuck. However, this time when she said stupid shit before sex, I just sat there STFU, looked her in the eye, and held the tension. There was a lack of neediness, you want to act out, there’s your spotlight. It stopped quickly. Sex was much better. I’ve been doing this ever since. Wife starts being unpleasant, fog, then STFU if she wants to continue she can. I don’t give it attention. On another day, generally busy all day. Had it all planned out. Going to take care of things and when I’m done I’ll grab my wife and fuck her. She started to interrupt me while I was taking care of stuff and tried to get my attention. The second time, I stopped what I was doing, grabbed her hand, and said “come on”. It’s been a long time since she was giggling and smiling so much. I had more positive results the very next day. I started reading the unbreakable rules of masculinity by Hotep Jesus. He stated a concept that hit me perfectly. Never chase, you should be chased. Also listening to the player's handbook in the gym. Command presence is something I’m not grasping.
Op Sec
2023-08-10 17:52:15 +0000 UTCGirl called me to set up a weekend together, I told her my Family's Holiday House was occupied but mine was not. She bitched about how I should have already warned her and showed disappointment and lack of enthusiasm. I was asked for a date and I told her I did not feel like it. I heard her crying at the phone and was asked why I did not want to be with her. I said I just did not want to - shouldn’t have said “just”, only realized it after saying it - and then added how I only wanted to be with her if she was excited and not moaning around. She said she didn’t mean to sound like that, and we made plans anyways. I teased her a lot of course. I still get a bit uncomfortable when I get “pressured” - which I only do because I allow her to do, by focusing on her feelings instead of on my side of things, letting her chase me with her emotional erection instead of just stoping verbal intercourse. I was totally honest and enforced my boundary, which is good. I made her cry, which is also good. The thing was that I was too focused on her feelings and words, trying to use humor to defuse them, which was a bad move - trying to keep the peace. A better way would’ve been to broken record my boundary and tease her only if she got her behavior right. Me teasing her is a reward, and I was rewarding bad behavior. If she kept at it even though I had done broken record, I would just turn off the call.
Owning My Shit
2023-08-09 21:33:26 +0000 UTC
