Smooth Sailing Chapter 5: Nagagutsu Kingdom 2

Chapter 5: Nagagutsu Kingdom 2

As I’d expected, the clothing on sale in the docks was rough and tough for rough and tough men. There was very little women’s clothing, especially lingerie. Not liking what was on offer, I ventured deeper into the port city, heading to the more well-off portions.

‘Despite being the capital city of the Nagagutsu Kingdom, this place is really divided,’ I thought with a grimace as I strode through the clean and pretty streets of Greater Vercase, where the upper class lived and shopped. Or perhaps that was by design.

Compared to the soot stained and dreary dockside region, it was like night and day! And unlike the docks where I got a lot of side-eyes for being a sexy bitch wearing baggy, ill-fitting clothes, the people on these streets were looking down their noses at me for wearing ‘ugly’ and out of fashion stuff.

I ignored them, of course, in favor of window shopping, which really seemed to make the hoity-toities even angrier.

One store I passed by had a really nice pair of tight pants that would show off my ass and legs, and it was in a nice magenta color. Yet I couldn’t afford it.

“Nope,” I sighed in disappointment as I spied the price tag and walked away from the window a bit despondently.

I suppose I should have expected this. Everything in Greater Vercase was naturally going to be wildly expensive. Ten million beri might be enough for a couple articles of clothing but I’d have nothing left over.

‘Being fashion literate is weird,’ I mused as I browsed a couple of t-shirts on a rack. Parts of Alvida’s feminine mind still lingered, which gave me a better understand of color coordination and a decent fashion sense.

Not complaining or anything, but it was such a wild change to how I’d been back when I was a man I was still suffering whiplash!

“Ugh, no, this won’t work,” I muttered as I held up a shirt to my chest. “It’s cheap but it doesn’t show off enough of my stomach!”

It turned out that the reason Alvida had worn fewer clothes after eating the Smooth-Smooth Fruit was not just to show off her body, but to take advantage of her Devil Fruit. After all, it made her skin impossibly smooth, and allowing all sorts of things to Slip off of it.

While I could probably find a way to extend this ability to what I wore in the future, and maybe even things I touched, for now my Devil Fruit only worked on me, much like Luffy’s rubbery body.

‘Which means any outfits I get need to show off a lot of my skin,’ I thought. That meant crop tops, booty shorts, sandals, and no gloves. A new hat and coat wouldn’t hurt, either. Basically, what Canon Alvida wore, post Devil Fruit.

“Shame, I rather liked this one,” I said, putting it back. “And it had such lovely stitching with those lace flowers along the sleeves.”

‘And that is still weird!’ I thought, eye twitching a bit. I shouldn’t know jack about sewing or stitches! My head was really getting crowded thanks to Alvida’s memories!

Walking away from that store, I wondered if there was perhaps time to get a brand-new outfit custom made by a tailor. That would probably be expensive, but if I went to one of the shops near the docks I could probably find somebody.

Lost in my thoughts, I was not looking where I was going as I strolled along the street, and almost bumped into someone, which snapped me back to the present.

“Ah! I’m sorry! I wasn’t paying attention!” I apologized, only to blink in surprise at who I’d nearly run over.

At first I thought it was a child, but it wasn’t! It was a tiny, furry old man! And I recognized him from Oda’s notes and responses to his fans!

His name was Nyornyo Nyarmani, and he was a strange guy. He was a short, cat mink with a weirdly human and furless face. Perhaps he was half or quarter human as well? He also refused to wear clothes for some reason.

But that didn’t matter, because he was the best damn tailor in the world. After all, the Gorosei, or Five Elder Planets, personally commissioned him for all of their outfits, and it was his suits that were part of the Heavenly Tribute. If that wasn’t an endorsement of his talents, then I don’t know what was!

“Nyo harm,” he replied, waving my apology off. Then, he gaze me a critical look, eyeing my current outfit.

“Hmm… looking at nyou, those clothes do nyot fit, do they?” Nyornyo mused.

“Ah, yeah, kinda obvious, huh?” I chuckled. “I recently went through some, uh, lifestyle changes and my old clothes won’t work for me anymore.”

He chuckled a bit at that, before reaching into his fur and pulling out a pair of purple Daisy Duke shorts and handing them to me.

‘Where did that come from?’ I couldn’t help but wonder as I took them.

“A nyew look for a nyew life,” he said mysteriously, giving me a wink before sauntering off.

I looked down at the free pair of pants, and inspected them. The material looked good, and felt great, and a quick check of the tag revealed they were exactly my size, and would fit me perfectly.

“Huh,” I muttered. “That’s… very weird. On brand for this wacky place, I suppose, but did I just get handed a pair of pants by the greatest tailor in the world?”

I pinched myself just to check I wasn’t actually asleep. When I didn’t wake up from a dream, it seemed that yes, I did just get some free pants. Scratching my head, I decided to just chalk it up to luck. Or maybe something else?

As I folded up the pair of shorts, I felt something square inside the pockets. Curious, I fished around and removed a business card.

‘Okay, now it’s getting even weirder,’ I thought to myself with a confused frown. Was this why he’d given me the pants? To pass me a business card? Why couldn’t he do so in public?

I examined the name and address of the store. Location-wise, it was off Pollux Street, one of the few middle-class areas that straddled the border between Greater Vercase and the docks. As for the name, it said the store was owned by a ‘Eliza Bianchi.’

I had no idea who that was, but it couldn’t hurt to check it out. Maybe there was a chance Nyornyo had given me her business card because she’d be the best tailor for my circumstances?

Finding the store took a bit of time, as the streets were a bit winding and poorly laid out. But I found it after a bit of wandering.

‘Looks like it has seen better days,’ I mused, seeing how the roof sagged, some of the display windows were boarded up. The walls had paint and graffiti running all over while a couple garbage cans had been moved close to it, causing an offending odor to linger near it.

Something felt off about the store’s state, but I couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Deciding it wasn’t my place to judge how a store was run, I instead walked inside, letting a bell go “Ding!” as I pushed the door open.

“What do you mean you won’t pay for it?!” an angry woman’s voice shouted out, and I froze, wondering if they were talking to me. But no, it was just an angry brunette with long hair and a pair of sunglasses on top of her head shouting at a Transceiver Snail while seated behind a counter.

‘And boy are those things unsettling in real life,’ I thought, somewhat disgusted by the hideous mollusk.

The far too human face – complete with teeth – really triggered the uncanny valley. The fact it could also reshape its own facial features to mimic the person on the other end of the snail phone didn’t make it any easier to look at.

“You’re the one who commissioned those outfits!” she continued shout. “If you don’t pick them up… Hey! Don’t you hang up on me!”

The woman – who must be Eliza Bianchi, angrily slammed the receiver back into the snail’s shell, growling and grumbling to herself.

“Why they hell would you order so many dresses if you weren’t gonna pay for them?” she wondered under her breath.

Seeing that she was in the middle of angrily ranting to herself, I decided to leave her to it and get to work on something else. Namely, browsing the selection of available goods. I had one pair of pants already but I’d need more. Couldn’t wear the same thing over and over all the time. Both myself and whatever was left of Alvida agreed on that.

Despite the exterior, the interior of the tailor’s shop was well stocked and brightly lit, not a stain or speck of dust to be seen. The outfits on display, as well as the ones on shelves and hanging from racks, were all well-made.

Lots of lovely pieces could be seen, and while I was an amateur with fashion, I did have an eye for creativity thanks to my own passions, and I knew each article of clothing here had been made with skilled hands and tender love and care.

‘Let’s see… Ooo! This red blouse looks good. Ah, but it covers up too much… maybe this pink and green flower pattern bikini top would work better? Oh, and these cream booty shorts look nice. And she even has sandals!’

I decided to select a pair of straw sandals as my new footwear, feeling tickled pink to wear something made of the same material as Luffy’s iconic hat.

‘Maybe I can call myself ‘Straw Sandal Alvida’ and put myself up as the true straw-themed pirate,’ I thought to myself in amusement.

“When did you get here?!” a voice exclaimed in shock, and I looked over to the blonde behind the counter.

She wore an expression of shock, but her cheeks were also red from arousal as she took in my appearance. Not even women were immune to my supernatural charm.

“I’ve been here for a couple minutes,” I told her. “When you were arguing with whoever placed an order and refused to pay, in fact.”

The woman blushed and ducked her head in embarrassment. “Oh. I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

“Eh, no sweat. I hate it when people refuse to pay as well after ordering something,” I replied. “As if they’re entitled to free work just because of who they are.”

“Exactly!” the woman said, pointing at me. “You get it!”

She then coughed. “Ah. Forgive me, I’m Eliza Bianchi, and this is my store. Can I help you with anything?”

“As a matter of fact, you can,” I said. “I need a new wardrobe, and you were recommended to me.”

“Recommended?” Eliza wondered, clearly surprised by that. “Uh, well, alright, I can see what I can do. Anything in particular you’re looking for?”

“Yes, stuff that can really show off my body,” I said, running hands down my hourglass figure. “The shorter the better. Oh, and underwear, too, before I forget.”

“Alright then,” Eliza said with a slow nod. “I can work with that. And your budget?”

“Ten million,” I informed her, and she choked a bit on her spit.

“Th-that will be more than enough!” she promised.

“Great! Let’s start with tops,” I suggested. “I’d prefer some shade of purple but I won’t say no to blue.”

“I’ve got just the thing!” she said. “Do you have any brand preferences?”

“Nah, show me what you’ve got.”

Eliza did just that, getting out a couple of shirts. They were nice, and I tried a couple on. In the end, I selected a purple one with ruffles, and a blue one with white floral patterns. Both showed off my stomach and a lot of cleavage.

“Got any hats?” I inquired as I put the shirts onto the countertop.

“I’m no haberdasher, but I’ve got a decent selection in a variety of styles and colors,” Eliza said, leading me to them.

They were okay hats, but after looking over what was available I was drawn to a purple and gold striped top hat similar to what the OG Alvida would wear in the New World. After some thought, I decided to take the top hat for myself, and added it to the pile.

After that, I added more shirts, pants, and underwear. Eliza was very helpful with selecting new and comfy bras and panties. It was kinda embarrassing, the part of me that was still male almost rebelling at the thought of wearing them, but I pushed through.

I also decided to go through with it and grabbed the straw sandals as well. It was too hilarious to pass up!

“I think this is it for now,” I said, looking over the pile of clothes I’d selected.

“Do you want to look over new jackets or coats?” Eliza wondered, as that had been something I’d wanted to do, but I shook my head.

“No. I think, for now, I want to keep my old one. Though it will need resizing,” I said. I glanced at the store owner with a hopeful expression. “You any good at modifications?”

“I have some skill, yes,” Eliza assured me.

“Great!” I said, taking the too-large coat off and dropping it down on the counter. “When can you finish with it?”

“Hmm… come by tomorrow afternoon, I should be done then,” the seamstress said as she examined the old coat I’d worn back when I’d been ‘big boned.’

“Excellent!” I said, pleased. I still needed to figure out what I wanted to do with myself, but one more day here wouldn’t hurt.

The bell over the door jingled, and Eliza and I glanced over, spotting a young woman who entered, stopping short when she spotted me by the counter.

This newcomer’s hair was shorter, blonde, and done in a bob cut, and had a black hair band keeping it in place. She also had a slimmer figure compared to Eliza’s larger bust, wore a halter top with a tie and skirt, and a big golden cuff bracelet on her left wrist.

“Hey, Jodie!” Eliza called out. “Come on in!”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” the newcomer said. “I didn’t know you had a customer!”

“Yeah, it’s great, isn’t it!” Eliza said cheerfully, before turning back to me. “So, tallying this all up… it’s going to be three hundred thousand, five hundred and sixty beri. And with the modifications to your coat… that will bring it up to four hundred thousand, three hundred and ten beri.”

I hummed. Expensive, but I was buying an entirely new wardrobe to replace my old one. I got the money out without a fuss and paid.

“Here you go. Keep the change,” I said, leaving a wad of a million beris on the counter for her.

She gawked at the absurd generosity, as did her friend, but I had a good feeling about the duo. I felt that the nudist Mink had given me this woman’s business card for a reason, and being kind to them now didn’t exactly hurt in case it built good will that’d be useful in the future.

'And for some reason, I have the strangest feeling like I know them from somewhere. Were they background characters, perhaps?'

“D-do you need help carrying everything?” Eliza asked, swallowing a bit as she tore her gaze away from the money.

“Nah, I got it. Just bag and box it,” I requested.

A few minutes later I was heading out of the store, my hands full of bags. I was pleased by the purchases I’d made, though I couldn’t shake the feeling something was about to happen.

When I got back to the Lovey Dovey, the feeling of impending doom hadn’t left. Well, not really ‘doom,’ more like a strange sensation of tension in the air, like a thunderstorm about to burst and rain on a parade.

“We’ll be sticking around for another day,” I informed the boys, who perked up eagerly.

“Can we hit the town?” Hep asked hopefully.

“Hmm… sure. I’ll hold down the fort. You three have fun this evening,” I said, allowing them to go off and enjoy themselves.

That earned me some cheers, though they quickly winced and stopped celebrating, still a bit sore from the wounds the Marines had left on them.

I put away my purchases in the bedroom – after making sure the goats couldn’t nibble on anything – and then decided to spend the rest of the day tinkering and building tiny little knick-knacks and puzzle toys. It was a soothing experience, reminding me of my time back on Earth.

Then, when the sun went down, the three brothers left the Lovey Dovey to go have fun elsewhere on the island. It left me alone on the ship, and I made a really sad meal out of cereal (something called Admiral Munch) and a couple of pickled eggs.

Afterwards, I went to sleep, the bobbing of the ship lulling me off to the land of dreams. Another day down. What did the next one have in store for me?

111 &&& 111

When the brothers came back from their shore leave, it was about ten in the morning, and they reeked of alcohol and sex.

“I hope you didn’t do anything stupid,” I drawled as I watched them sprawl across the deck.

“No way, captain,” Hep promised.

“Yeah, we just had a few drinks!” Pep replied.

“And strippers!” Pop said, only to be slapped and shushed by his brothers.

“Did you spend all of the money I gave you?” I wondered.

“N-no, Captain Alvida,” Hep claimed, but from the way his eyes nervously shifted around, and Pep and Pop tried to whistle innocently, he was lying out of his ass.

“Eh, I gave it to you expecting it to be spent, so I don’t really care. Just try not to blow it all on a single island next time,” I warned. “Now, there’s still some shopping you need to do. Fill up the pantry and fridge, and grab anything else from the list that wasn’t gotten yesterday.”

“Yes, captain!” the trio nodded, wincing at the fact they’d have to do a ton of work right after returning.

I just chuckled at their misfortune. When the afternoon rolled around, I left the Lovey Dovey in Hep, Pep, and Pop’s hands and went to grab my resized coat. I was looking forward to it!

When I reached the shop, I noticed a few things were off. First of all, somebody had defaced the door, writing ‘WHORE’ in red paint across it. Then, there was the trash. It was piled up around the door, forcing me to step around it. Lastly, the eyes. People were staring at the store, and me, with disgust and suspicion.

Concerned, I entered, hoping nothing had happened to Eliza last night. Inside, the store was the same as when I’d been there, but saw evidence of somebody being rough with some display stands.

Eliza and Jodie were also inside, hugging each other. They tensed up when the bell went ‘ding-a-ling when the door swung open, but they sagged in relief when they saw it was me.

Neither woman looked all that great, either. Eliza looked like she had been crying, and Jodie was angry, but also resigned.

“Is everything alright?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yes, it’s fine,” Eliza lied, wiping her eyes. “Ah, your coat is done… I have it in the back. Please wait a moment.”

She separated from Jodie and hurried off, leaving me alone with the shorter haired woman. Before I could ask about what was happening here, she stalked forward.

“You’re a pirate, aren’t you?” Jodie demanded, finger jabbing towards me. I raised an eyebrow at her, curious as to how she’d figured it out.

“Maybe I am,” I said noncommittally.

“The way you walk and dress, the money you’re throwing around, and your eyes… they tell me a lot,” Jodie claimed. “My father works at the stockade. I’ve seen plenty of pirates pass through, and some of them act like you.”

“Neat,” I drawled, even as I clenched my left hand into a fist. “So what? Why do you care?”

“I care because I want you to sail away with Eliza!” Jodie claimed.

“Eh?” I uttered, not having expected this.

“Please, take her with you!” Jodie begged. “She’s not safe here! I-I can’t imagine what would happen to her if he gets his hands on her!”

“Is somebody after Eliza?” I asked. “Is that why the exterior looks…” I waved a hand while wearing a grimace, and the brunette nodded.

“Yes,” she admitted. “She need to leave! And you can take her!”

“Who’s after her?” I inquired, folding my arms without giving an answer.

“…It’s Prince Tritobu,” Jodie revealed.

“Prince Tritobu?” I uttered in disbelief. “Isn’t he the crown prince of this kingdom?”

“Yes. And he wants her. He wants Eliza to become one of his ‘maids,’” Jodie spat out, the venom lacing the final word telling me that it wasn’t exactly maid work the prince wanted the seamstress for.

“She refused, though, I take it,” I surmised. “And the prince, not liking behind denied, has been harassing her?”

“That’s right,” Jodie spat out. “And of course there are the jealous bints who think Eliza is just playing hard to get. Between them, they’ve driven her business into the dirt, chasing away all of her customers and friends!”

She looked at me with desperate eyes. “That’s why she can’t stay! Either the prince finally wins and gets what he wants, or, or she does something drastic. So please! Get her away from the kingdom!”

“I see,” I said slowly. “I suppose I could take her with me in that case. But what is in it for me?”

“Y-you’d have a skilled tailor?” Jodie replied. She then looked down and muttered under her breath, “Damn it, I knew this was a mistake. Of course you’d be worried about being targeted by the royal family if you did this…”

“Pfft! Afraid? Of a pig and his father?” I scoffed. “No, the only worries I’d have if I did this would be the bounty hunters they’d send after me. They have more money than sense.”

I then pierced Jodie with a sharp look. “However, I do have concerns about what will happen if you stay. It’s obvious to me you two are, uh, shall we say ‘roommates?’”

“Suppose it is rather obvious,” Jodie sighed. “Yes, we’re lovers.”

“In that case…” I began, only to be interrupted by Eliza returning.

“And here it is!” she said, holding up my old purple coat. It had been modified to fit my new, slimmer frame and I put it on, feeling like it was a piece of me returning to where it belonged.

“Nice,” I said appreciatively, running a hand over the sleeves. “You even dry-cleaned it!”

“It needed it,” Eliza replied. She then saw how close Jodie was to me, and the guilty expression she wore.

“What’s going on?” she demanded, glancing between us.

“Your girlfriend wanted me to kidnap you and take you away from Nagagutsu to save you from the prince,” I replied, and Jodie spluttered at my bluntness.

“Jodie!” the tailor gasped angrily. “I thought I told you-!”

“Eliza, please!” Jodie begged, grabbing her lover’s hands. “This is for your own safety!”

She began to tear up. “I can’t… I can’t bear to see you like this! If you stay, you’ll just end up like all the other women he’s hurt! So you need to leave!”

“Jodie,” Eliza said weakly. “Come on, don’t cry!”

“Calm down,” I urged, patting Jodie comfortingly on the back. “It will be okay.”

“Th-then does that mean you’ll take her with you?” Jodie gasped happily.

“Hey! I never agreed to this!” Eliza retorted. “Jodie, I can’t leave without you!”

“Eliza…”

“Look, I’m not cruel enough to separate lovers,” I informed them, interrupting their little discussion. “So why don’t I just take you both?”

“You’ll really take us? Really?” Eliza asked hopefully.

“I’m not opposed to it,” I said slowly. “But my boat isn’t that big. I can’t just take on anyone. I need people who can pull your weight. I know Eliza’s a tailor and seamstress and that’s always useful onboard a ship. God knows I can’t sew or repair clothes worth a damn. But what can you do, Jodie?”

“M-me? I’m just a gardener,” Jodie said despondently.

“Really? That’s great!” I said, happy to find someone with knowledge of what I needed. That caused her to blink in surprise and Eliza gained a joyful smile.

“Seriously? Jodie, you hear that?” she gasped happily. “This is amazing!”

“Why would a pirate need a gardener?” Jodie asked skeptically.

“I have ten peach trees on my boat,” I informed her. “For easy access to fresh fruit. Unfortunately, my knowledge of growing and tending to plants extends to ‘give them water and they will grow.’ I need somebody skilled who can care for the trees and make sure they don’t die out at sea.”

“Growing fruit on a ship?” Jodie muttered. “That’s not actually a bad idea. Wouldn’t work for a large crew, but it could help a small one.”

“Why don’t I show you to my boat, and you can judge for yourselves what you need?” I suggested.

Jodie glanced at Eliza, who nodded encouragingly. She then looked to me and nodded. “Alright. Show me your boat.”

“Let me grab our things, first!” Eliza called out, rushing back into the rear of the building. She returned with two hastily packed bug-out bags, and I raised an eyebrow at that.

“Seems like you’ve been expecting to have to leave in a hurry,” I noted.

“Of course I have,” Eliza snorted. “Though our original plan was to just run off into the countryside and get as far away from Vercase as possible.”

I nodded at that. It was a simple but clever plan, and it wouldn’t be too hard to disappear into a rural town with a haircut and some dye for disguises.

“Well, welcome aboard, then. Name’s Alvida,” I said, introducing myself.

They blinked, clearly recognizing my name. Which was understandable. I’d been the woman with one of the highest bounties in the East Blue… well, amongst pirates, at least. Pretty sure Bello Betty and the other Revolutionaries outstripped me by quite a bit.

“I guess that explains why you needed a new wardrobe and a resizing…” Eliza muttered and trailed off.

“Didn’t the Marines get you?” Jodie asked questioningly.

“They blew up my base and my old ship, but didn’t catch me,” I replied with an annoyed huff. “Anyways, let’s get out of here. My crew should be ready to cast off when we return.”

The two women nodded, and with bags in hand, followed me out of the store. Eliza gave it a longing look as she departed, knowing full well she’d likely never see it again, but didn’t stop moving forward.

As the three of us stepped out, grimaces on our faces as we neatly sidestepped the refuse strewn about, there came a sound of boots on the cobblestones, and I turned to see a group of six men coming towards us.

They were not Marines, I noted to my relief. No, these half-dozen men wore black and red uniforms complete with cape and silver sash, and a high peaked hat with the kingdom’s sigil on it. Instead of guns or swords, they had nightsticks, and only two of them looked like they’d ever seen any sort of actual violence.

“The city watch,” Eliza muttered, recognizing them.

“Afternoon, gentlemen,” I said with a smile that did not reach my eyes.

“Quiet, civilian,” the man in the lead said. He had greying mutton chops and looked… well, he was quite plump, shall we say.

“Rude,” I huffed.

He was ignoring me completely though and was instead giving Eliza a condescending look.

“So glad to see you again, Miss Eliza,” he drawled. “And since you’ve got your bags with you, I can assume you’ve finally agreed to Prince Tritobu’s generous offer of employment?”

“I told you jackbooted thugs already! I refuse to be another one of his ‘maids!’” Eliza sneered in disgust.

“Then where, pray tell, do you think you’re going?” he asked.

“None of your business, lard ass,” I said. “They’re my employees now, so anything you care to say to them can be said to me… though I’d prefer it if you didn’t, and stopped harassing them if you don’t mind.”

The men of the city watch shifted, grips tightening around their weapons, while their portly leader glared at me.

“Ma’am…” he began. “Perhaps you don’t know what the situation is…”

“Look, I already heard,” I replied, cutting him off. “Your pig of a prince wanted Eliza, and when he didn’t get her, he threw a tantrum, just like a spoiled brat. But now she’s found gainful employment away from this filthy city, so you can tell him to piss off.”

Jodie, Eliza, and the city watch – and quite a few people who were watching but pretending like they weren’t – stared at me like I was completely insane. Fair enough, openly speaking out against an aristocrat – especially someone from the royal family – was pretty much suicide.

Authoritarian regimes didn’t like to be questioned or called out on their actions, and they cracked down hard on such things, making public talk against their leaders a criminal offense. And in this world, where somebody could develop superpowers overnight, those same authoritarians had to crack down even harder to ensure they stayed in power.

But I wasn’t worried. This was the East Blue. And these were mooks. Nobodies who served nobodies in the grand scheme of things.

Even before my Devil Fruit I could have confidently taken all six of them on and won handily. Now? They’d need luck on their side to hurt or stop me.

“Alright, that’s it!” the pudgy officer growled. “You’re under arrest!”

He reached out to grab me, but his hand Slipped right off my arm. He blinked, confused, but before he could do anything else, I cocked my fist back and punched him in the face. The cop went flying, crashing through the display window on the store across from Eliza’s, and everyone’s jaws dropped in shock.

“Here, hold these for me,” I requested, taking off my sandals and tossing them to Eliza who caught them, looking confused as to why I’d taken them off.

I crouched down a bit and then pushed off and Slid across the ground towards the rest of the city watchmen, the Smooth soles of my feet letting me pseudo-ice skate forward and bring me in close far faster than merely running would.

The first mook received an elbow to the stomach, causing him to double over in pain and go tumbling away. I then spun, left leg lashing out in a pirouette-like kick to the side of another man’s head. The blow sent him flying into another building, smashing down the door instead of a window this time.  

The other three finally began to react, one of them being a large, grizzled looking fellow who’d probably been a beat cop longer than I’d been a pirate, and he raised his nightstick high above his head before bringing it down onto my own head.

However, his attack Slid right off, causing him to stumble a bit, and I capitalized on this by delivering an uppercut to his chin. It lifted him right off his feet, causing him to crash down hard onto the roof of a nearby building.

The last two were shaking in their boots, terrified of the slender woman who’d just handed their companions a vicious beat down. Still, their fear wasn’t enough to overpower their fight or flight response, and they chose to run in and attack me.

I backhanded one of the watchmen into Eliza’s store, knocking him through the boarded up window, and the second received a kick to the stomach that had him flying backwards over twenty feet, right into the leader of the group who’d just managed to stagger out of the store I’d knocked him into earlier.

I looked down at the bruised and beaten men, smirking as they groaned in pain from my righteous beating.

“Y-you won’t get away with this!” the guard commander groaned from underneath the guy I’d sent flying into him. He tried to get up but I just Slid over and slammed my heel into the back of his head, forcing his face back down into street.

“Sure I will,” I drawled. “Now, it’s time to make my daring escape!”

I turned around and rushed over to Eliza and Jodie, Sliding across the ground. I didn’t stop, though. Instead, I grabbed them both, tossing them over my shoulders and proceeding to run away with the lovers.

“EH?!”

“Miss Alvida?!”

“I claim this booty in the name of the Iron Mace Pirates!” I cackled madly as I Slid back to the docks and the Lovey Dovey.

Sliding frictionlessly across the ground was a rush, like roller skating and ice skating smooshed into one, and I moved quickly through the streets of Vercase until I reached the port. I saw the dove-headed boat up ahead and leapt right off the edge of the docks onto the deck, laughing wildly all the while.

“Wooo! What a rush!” I chuckled as I let Eliza and Jodie down.

“Th-that was-!”

“EH?!” Pop exclaimed, staring at me in shock. “Captain?!”

“What’s going on?” Hep asked, glancing between me and the two newcomers. “Who are they?”

“New crew mates!” I replied. “Where’s Pep?”

“In the galley, putting away the last of the food!” Hep replied.

“Great! Ready the sails and raise the anchors, boys!” I declared. “We’ve got to hightail it out of here!”

The trio rushed to obey, Pep coming out from the cabin and helping out as we prepared to leave Nagagutsu.

“Ah! There’s a ship coming after us!” Pop suddenly exclaimed.

“Is it the Marines?” I asked, busy with the helm.

“Uh, no.”

I glanced over my shoulder, checking on what it was that was chasing the Lovey Dovey, and it turned out to be a small, slim watercraft that looked like it was meant for speed rather than anything else.

“It’s one of Nagagutsu’s patrol cutters!” Eliza spoke up. They’re fast and meant to chase down smugglers!”

“Gotcha,” I nodded. There was a boom, and a cannonball whizzed past, causing us all to wince. “Damn it! Pep, take the cannon!”

“Uh…” he paused, looking back at the weapon. “I knew I forgot something…”

“Did you not get gunpowder?!” I demanded.

“Maybe?” Pep winced, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“UGH! Never mind, I’ll do it myself! Hep, take the wheel!” I grunted, stepping away and grabbing one of the cannonballs from the ammo box before striding to the rear of the boat.

If I could casually flip a one-beri coin and have it get stuck in the ceiling due to my strength and Smoothness, could I do something similar with a larger object?

Thinking on this, I hefted the cannonball like an oversized shot put, and aimed the heavy metal sphere at the oncoming cutter as it fired once more. The cutter missed, but I wouldn’t.

“Smoothbore!” I shouted, feeling a bit cringy as I acted like a Shonen protagonist as I called out my attack’s name.

The cannonball I’d hucked at the cutter shot through the air as if it’d been fired from a real cannon. Faster, even. It slammed into the side of the boat, tearing through the hull and causing water to rush in.

The cutter began to flounder, and I laughed victoriously at the sight. Hep, Pep, and Pop cheered for me while Eliza and Jodie stared in shock at my feat.

“Well, that takes care of that,” I hummed, dusting off my hands. “Doubt they’ll be able to get any other vessels to chase after us at such a last-minute notice. So, I’d say we’re home free!”

I then turned to the two newcomers. “Well, now that that’s over with, let’s show you around and get you settled. Oh! And mind the goats, please.”

Eliza and Jodie looked at each other in confusion. Goats? The expressions on their faces when I opened the door to the cabin and dozens of Pygmy Goats began to make noise was absolutely hilarious!