Happy April! This Patreon is now only UFO conspiracy and cryptid smut~
Added 2018-04-01 07:00:01 +0000 UTCHappy April (fools*) ;;;)))
(But seriously I've just been listening to a lot of podcasts about conspiracy theories and suddenly the idea of a gray boning down with an alien abductee/ufo superfan popped into my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it, I would've made a whole comic if I'd had time XD I blame it on the horny grays that were monitoring my thoughts that day 0w0)
(Also just for fun, what cryptid/conspiracy theory would you want porn of? Or maybe just a nice squishy romcom comic? Actually, a lot of conspiracy theories are really fucked up so maybe just cryptids/supernatural events. Lizard people coffee au? John Keel/Mothman slow burn? Bigfoot/Bigfoot impersonator ABO? Also is Bigfoot furry?)
Content warnings: anal, toy (probe) insertion, double bottoming no topping, IMO I think the guy is 99% into it but still tagging this dubcon because he's an abductee, alien anatomy, alien porn, voyeurism sort of
Full image is attached, or you can click here~
*Just to confirm, yes this is a prank, no I'm definitely not turning this Patreon into UFO and cryptid smut. YET.
Comments
Crop circles were personal ads from aliens lookin to bone and/or settle down with the right human and the reason we don't see em as much anymore is because they've been answered.
pocketsquare
2018-04-02 22:45:46 +0000 UTCIβm so on board with this! Weird shit all the way!!! πππβ¨
ro_hum
2018-04-02 17:40:05 +0000 UTCThanks for the offer, I'm not super tech savvy so I don't really know how excel macros work, but basically my issue is with the site itself: I used to be able to select all of the text in the comments sections and it would also select the amount of likes, so I could paste that all over into a doc. Today I found there is no way to select it as text; I have to go through one by one and manually type the amount of votes for each one into the doc. I tried diggin into the html to see if I could copy from there, but while the vote count is tracked in plain text there, it's too convoluted with code to consolidate in any kind of reasonable amount of time. Basically I realized the amount of work I'd have to do to figure out how to copy paste it easily was more than it would take to just type out how many votes each one got. But it's also extra minutes I didn't have to spend before :P
Reapersun
2018-04-02 00:42:03 +0000 UTCNo comment on the cryptids, but I just read your rant on Twitter about trying to get usable info from the comment pages. I do a lot of writing Excel macros; if you'd like, if you can give me an idea what you're looking for, I can try to write one to help process it all.
Lorelei Feldman
2018-04-01 20:43:48 +0000 UTCMothman and Bigfoot are my husbandos
2018-04-01 19:59:14 +0000 UTCI love the alien's face! :D
Leonace
2018-04-01 18:22:02 +0000 UTCDespite the joke, if you did change your patreon into ufo cryptid porn, I'd probably just be like, "... Sounds about right," and keep paying.
Rena k
2018-04-01 16:23:57 +0000 UTCAhh love this. You managed to make a grey adorable? I'm a legit no shame monster-fucker and I've never found greys cute till now. I'm a big moth man fan (especially if he's all fuzzy and cute) and the jersey devil is really popular lately. Flatwoods monster has a lot of potential too I think.
Eli Grant
2018-04-01 16:16:43 +0000 UTCI still love the conspiracy of Shangri-La in the Himalayas... It always is for Cryptids 1 poor Mountain hiker who wanted to spend his last month before his cancer sickness whatever's took him he thought climbing a mountain would be fun StumbleUpon Shangri-La and has been meeting new and exciting things ever since falls in love with the guardian of the area
yaoistalker
2018-04-01 12:49:12 +0000 UTCmermen or more aliens honestly you can do so much with aliens just lean in on the hardcore bdsm probing of it all
iamalivenow
2018-04-01 08:00:03 +0000 UTCThat is hella cute actually β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
Reapersun
2018-04-01 07:24:31 +0000 UTCππππππππ
Reapersun
2018-04-01 07:23:50 +0000 UTCAhhhh I love this! Also, just for fun, IMO the reason they can't ever find any trace of the Loch Ness Monster is because it can shapeshift. Some people think it's related to kelpie legends and that Nessie might be a river/lake spirit. I'd definitely go for a rom com with a fisherman who accidentally sees Nessie shapeshifting (Nessie's hurt mayhap so he has to shift?) and takes care of him.
2018-04-01 07:23:42 +0000 UTCYeah haha he's probably "that guy", the other aliens hate trying to get him on the phone because he's always in the middle of some kind of weird thing
Reapersun
2018-04-01 07:19:11 +0000 UTCIdk if this will help but I read a short story about Trump and a bell boy I laughed through the entire thing. <a href="https://www.wattpad.com/220852803-trump-temptations-the-billionaire-the-bellboy-a" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.wattpad.com/220852803-trump-temptations-the-billionaire-the-bellboy-a</a>
Eddie Fly
2018-04-01 07:15:28 +0000 UTCOh crap I just noticed the dropped communicator I think? Was he chatting with a homie and then tripped and fell on a probe? Don't ya just 'hate' when that happens?
Dread
2018-04-01 07:14:42 +0000 UTCI love that lil alien's face! Him travelling the universe getting 99% consensually freaky with different species!
Dread
2018-04-01 07:11:47 +0000 UTC+1 this
Ratticuss
2018-04-01 07:11:27 +0000 UTCReapersun; making weird porn wholesome since forever. I'm weirdly into everything suggested too haha. Honestly I just support your journey
Ratticuss
2018-04-01 07:10:54 +0000 UTCThat alien is lucky
2018-04-01 07:07:16 +0000 UTCINCREDIBLE. I am always hankering for mermen ππ»
Trev
2018-04-01 07:05:41 +0000 UTCAww the alien looks so happy <3
2018-04-01 07:05:33 +0000 UTCBut of course scully/aliens is canon so there's that too π½ππ
Laura Stewart
2018-04-01 07:02:20 +0000 UTCMulder writes Bigfoot smut and nobody can convince me otherwise π
Laura Stewart
2018-04-01 07:01:48 +0000 UTC
