How did you guys like Ch. 42?
Added 2024-11-13 15:28:20 +0000 UTCIf you have the time, please leave a bit of feedback or at least vote on the poll!
If the only people answering this poll are those who have an issue with the chapter, and those who enjoyed it stay silent, to me it's going to look like this chapter should likely be changed before going live on Royal Road!
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I was struggling to find some sort of balance between a straight up time skip and actually taking a ton of chapters to show all the things that Alex learns in that first week.
I'm a bit torn.
Part of me likes it and feel like it's nice to show this much progression while he's just learning the foundations of something that won't be TOO crucial to his powerbase later in the series.
Another part of me is frustrated that this seems almost like a summary, rather than a sort of montage. I've never written anything like this, so I'm trying to improve!
For those of you that have gotten to Ch. 42, what do you think?
Please, pick an option below and if you have something extra to add, please leave me a comment!
I'll probably do one more poll at the end of the next set of chapters, when his four weeks are finished, and see how you feel about the set of them. For now, please just vote on how you felt about this chapter!
These next few chapters may change a bit before they hit Royal Road, based on your feedback!
You guys rock, thanks for reading along!
Comments
Also really liked it.
V L
2024-12-05 20:03:08 +0000 UTCYa I'm not a fan on xianxia in general and was Hoping he would escape then also as the part I am most looking forward to is party combat and the social elements that come with that. One thing I will say is personally I get burnt out and bored of these stories that don't juggle combat and character and social or world building well. Often stories will have way to much combat delving and then like half a page of character growth then back to combat and I lose interest. So far I've enjoyed the ratio you achieved. Obviously he's been stuck here for awhile but ya.
ALEXEI
2024-11-24 19:21:59 +0000 UTCThis is super fair. You're not the first to mention it. I'm not sure how else to phrase things in the blurb, though. Hmm, I could have him leave for a bit, but I don't see any realistic reason for him to come BACK into a D Rank Rift when he's so hopelessly out-leveled. I have a feeling I'd get roasted for that, lol. I think this is understandable feedback, though. Several people, even here in the comments, have mentioned that they feel this arc is too long. We've only got a handful of chapters left here. Almost the entire second book is on Earth, though it sounds like some of these comments almost wish it happened the other way around! Either way, thanks for the feedback and thank you for supporting the story. It means a ton to me!
OverXelous
2024-11-14 21:37:04 +0000 UTCThe chapter itself is good, not too fast, not too slow. My criticism is that this is the second training montage in this arc alone, the first being with the spiders. Almost half the chapters in this story happen in xianxia-land, while we were promised "a realistic integration story". I think it might have been a better flow if he had managed to return to Earth that time the serpent blocked him, spent some 10 chapters doing some drama there, and this stuff happened during a second delve. Still, I became a patron because I think this has the potential to become one of those great stories of Royal Road, so keep doing a great job!
Seiryus
2024-11-14 20:00:09 +0000 UTCThereās pretty much one chapter per week, with an additional one or two in there for specific events not related to the montage (like interactions with Sam or Eura). Feel free to give me your feedback when this little arc finished and let me know what you think of how it was handled!
OverXelous
2024-11-13 22:34:19 +0000 UTCLong training montages are annoying. So many authors wanted to get so long and detailed that it turns a 2 to 3 chapter arc to a 10 to 20 chapter arc. If you can cram these longer chapters out to get past this montage hurdle in 3 chapters or less, try then that should still work for most of your audience.
Eric Sweeney
2024-11-13 22:31:17 +0000 UTCWeb novels come with pros and cons but I think most readers understand that and appreciate the pros. We get to enjoy something new to read most the week, you're necessarily working things out as you go, we're along for the ride.
Rip Woodham
2024-11-13 19:30:09 +0000 UTCAll of this makes total sense. A random fact about the book is that him dipping into this rift was only meant to be in act 1 of book 1. But I enjoyed what was going on and didnāt want to rush things so I decided to embrace it and let him gain a bit more here, rather than just fall in get awesome loot and dip out! I do appreciate the feedback, Iām not sure how I could go about fixing this now or for RR, but definitely something to think about before potentially getting published.
OverXelous
2024-11-13 19:18:59 +0000 UTCThanks but I am probably at least a bit of an odd case so don't give my criticisms too much thought. ;) I edited my comment slightly for better clarity. To sum up my rambling criticism, imo it would've been better if a bit more time was spent on earth before this, and expections were somehow better set for what this rift would be (not an increasingly bloated side story but a very important and enjoyable foundation). Basically think I would wish it were book 1 earth and book 2 is rift lol. And I personally like very long stories, that's where I'm coming from.
Rip Woodham
2024-11-13 19:08:21 +0000 UTCNo, this is great feedback! If you have other thoughts, feel free to shoot them over to me in a DM as well. All of this is constructive, which is great. I am finding a hard time in a balance in the scope of one book when thinking about the series as a whole. The next book will only have a smattering of actual Rift activity (1-2 chapters at a time) and almost the entire book is on Earth and focused on politics and setting up a home base. I'm thinking about making another tier or perhaps PMing people to see if others who are willing to give critical, constructive, or positive feedback are willing to read further ahead. While it's super valuable to know what you guys are thinking here, as this is likely what people on RR will also be feeling, it would be really valuable for me if some select few were reading a head and could see the larger scope and say "Yes I see what they're saying, but the pay off is worth it, don't change things". There's a balance there for sure, it's just hard to know if I should jump into changing things or just keep saying "Read and see what you think in X chapters" which might not be realistic as that could lose readers in real time on Royal Road! Ahhh! Hahah, anyway. I'll add the notes, thanks for the comment. I appreciate your interaction Rip!
OverXelous
2024-11-13 18:24:29 +0000 UTCI think I agree with all the comments so far. I enjoyed the chapter more than usual but voted more detail because I think it could still benefit and you should give more explanations etc overall. Unfortunately this rift arc was already dragging imo before this best part of it. It feels like it's starting to outweigh all the story before it and that feels weird, if that makes sense. I'd suggest trimming it up before this part, but at the same time that needs more. The dynamic with Sam is weird and needs to be fleshed out, the part with Alex starting to kill the sect warriors felt more like a summary than such a big change in the story, his frame of mind and his capabilities should, etc. He ran into Eura too soon the first time for it to feel realistic imo also. The rift arc is basically just unbalancing the story, but this chapter's great. Sorry if this is rambling or too critical, just on my phone during a break lol. These are small criticisms and just my opinion, story's good you just asked for it so that's my two cents. :) I also wish for even more detail showing the work Alex is putting in, what he is learning, and the characters if they are recurring ones.
Rip Woodham
2024-11-13 18:17:58 +0000 UTCThis is fantastic feedback! If you don't normally do this, I appreciate you taking the time to do it at my request. All of this is valid and valuable. With this being my first story, I followed a somewhat outdated story model (The Hero's Journey), part of that is that false sense of victory and needing to pick up and go again. So, him NOT making it out was mainly for that beat in the structure, as well as to show the reader that he isn't whining and complaining like he once might have. He bounces back almost immediately and is even willing to negotiate with a being several times stronger than himself to get himself home. I don't want to spoil anything, but yes. We've only got about 8 more chapters before this arc is totally finished and the entire second book is focused on Earth and its progression. BUT, I see what you're saying, especially about Sam and there being a hook to keep the reader (and Alex) looking toward getting home. My hope is that this series turns into a minimum of eight books from Alex's POV and have a rough overarching plot to support that (would love to have it be more, I'm just trying to avoid a lot of filler, which is common in long webserials). We will eventually be returning to this Rift, so I wanted the worldbuilding to be mostly established especially since it becomes key in the Earth dynamic next book. And I particularly like XianXia and Cultivation stories, so I wanted the introduction of things like Cycling Techniques and Meditation to be done in a meaningful way! I hope that none of this comes off as defensive! I just wanted to address your points and let you know that you're heard. I appreciate you taking the time to write all of that out and I'm glad that you're still enjoying the story!
OverXelous
2024-11-13 17:42:25 +0000 UTCI don't usually do this kind of feedback because I like to trust authors to tell their story, but since you asked here's my thoughts: I like this speed training montage and the fact Alex knows he's not going to become a master in the short time. It helps to reconcile the fact he had never really fought before his awakening. At this point though, it's starting to feel a little like this rift is dragging on without making it back home. All of the reasons for him to stay have been excellent and the story has been exciting, but it feels like we are learning more about this rift than we are about actual earth and his life there, which is where the actual story takes place. The rift and sect war is a great side story, but it doesn't feel like a temporary story/place. (It might be more important in the future and that could work well, but we the readers don't know that yet). I almost wish he'd made it out after escaping the snake, but had some reason to go back in, like Alex meeting Sam earlier, but was unable to get him out and Alex has to go back to get him. Or maybe there was some other quest/treasure he wanted that brought him back? There's lots of ways to do that. Amyways, at this rate it's starting to feel like he's been isekai'd instead of just stuck in a rift is what I'm trying to say. Still a good story direction, just different than what was started. If Alex is going to be spending lots of time in complex rifts like this in the future, we need a strong hook to stay on earth or wherever his 'home base' is which we barely have the beginnings of. The hooks are there with his friends and guild friends, but they haven't set in yet for the readers. Including Sam as an incentive to return to earth is a good way to do that, but he hasn't even really talked with Sam yet. So if it's montage time already before the talk with Sam, it indicates Alex doesn't really care about it. It doesn't even have to be a full conversation. Just a simple comment about them having talked and Alex wanting to get them both home safely would do it. All that said, I am still greatly enjoying the story and look forward to where you are taking it. š
Zack
2024-11-13 17:31:54 +0000 UTCGreat feedback! I'll add it to the notes. It could be that this ends up getting split into two chapters for week 1 to cover more stuff, before going to RR. If that's the case I'll update the chapter here and make sure it pings people with the update! Thanks for the feedback, Ham!
OverXelous
2024-11-13 16:23:51 +0000 UTCI enjoyed it, but on day 1, I kinda wish we had more detail on what it looked like. You did a good job of saying what the instructor personality types are like and what the training might include, but it's hard to understand the amount of effort Alex put in when you just kinda skip over it (and also what kind of training Sam might be getting/if he even wants it). Does Sam learn healing skills and distrust his teachers but love helping? Is he just straight up traumatized? We don't know him that well yet and this could be a great time to focus on their interactions. Maybe even a side-chapter about Sam :)
Casual Ham
2024-11-13 16:18:31 +0000 UTCThat's a good point, he's mentioned in the next few chapters sporadically and they have two pretty solid bonding moments during this montage section. I'll make a note in my Notion here, but let me know how you feel in another 3-5 Chapters? Thanks for the feedback!
OverXelous
2024-11-13 15:39:19 +0000 UTCI enjoyed the chapter, but if you're looking to montage away a chunk of time, you should probably at least show Alex talking to Sam at some point. While you might be saving his story for some plot-relevant surprise to *us*, it doesn't seem likely that Alex would just ignore him for over a week without trying to figure out what his deal is.
Anthony
2024-11-13 15:37:10 +0000 UTCPretty good start to a training montage arc yo. Set up expectations and growth from the start now you can start throwing some curve balls in there yo.
Anthony Taylor
2024-11-13 15:29:22 +0000 UTC
