My New Normal Chapter 6

Sunday morning I smelled bacon cooking. I was still in my nightie and tights. I slipped my my pink fuzzy slippers and went into the kitchen. 

My mother was in a house dress wearing an apron. She was cooking Sunday breakfast. She hasn't made Sunday breakfast since my father died. 

I saw my Mom making blueberry crepes. The bacon smelled great. She had orange juice and Tea on the table already!

Morning sweetheart! Sleep well? 

I slept pretty well! I said. I was surprised I was in a better mood this morning. I tried to remember if I was supposed to happy or angry. I remembered everything that had happened over the last year and a half. I remembered my rage yesterday, but it felt like I had let it go! 

My mother had music in her voice as she prepared breakfast. She was smiling without effort for the first time since my father died. I felt a small smile on my face as well. It felt good, I wasn't sure it should feel good, but I liked the way I felt. My warm feeling was with me all morning. 

Mom and I ate together. We were both smiling through breakfast. 

You should call Amy! Invite her over! You two could practice your dance routines today. You could show her your room! 

My room! While the mention of my room should have set me off, it didn't! I still felt a little embarrassed about it. 

Okay! I'll call her! I said with enthusiasm. 

An hour later Lynn and Amy came over. We worked on our dance routine in the living room. My Mom and Lynn drank iced tea on the patio. Amy and I were having fun. We went into the kitchen for Iced tea. I showed her my room 

I love it! It's so you! Amy said.

Really! I blurted out! 

I love your bed and furniture! It's so modern. I love your dresser and makeup table, especially your makeup mirror. You should add some BTS or EXO posters! Maybe a Disney Princess poster!

Who's your favorite Disney Princess? Amy asked. 

Snow White! I said. Truth is I never thought about things like that before. But my hair was a little bit like Snow White's. 

I love Merida! I love her long red hair! Amy said. 

That made sense, Amy had reddish brown hair. It was long too! I was kinda jealous of her hair! Amy opened my closet. It was at that moment that I was glad I didn't have any of Donnie's clothes around. 

You have some pretty things! I love this sundress! She pointed at my fuchsia dress with the flower print. I blushed, Amy was studying me closely. I attempted to act like she did. 

Amy saw my Fortnite game. I love Fortnite! She said. 

So do I. I said enthusiastically. 

She had the Black Widow Character and Pepper Potts Iron woman. I had Spider-Man and Iron Man. I knew right away if we played together I was going to have to get a few female characters. I'd have to talk to Mom. 

I was Donna now, at least for the summer. I would have to keep up the Donna act for a while. 

After Lynn and Amy left, I had a little smile on my face. That warm feeling was as strong as ever. My Mom was smiling at me. It felt weird, but not bad. Just weird. It looked like she was proud of me! Gosh knows why!

It's time to do laundry Donna! Mom said.

Be right there! I shouted from my room. I finished my wish list for Fortnite Characters. I chose Mystique and Gamora. 

I went into the laundry room. Mom had all our panties and my gaffs in a pile. She showed me how to use the Woolite detergent and how to soak them. While they soaked, she showed me how to separate and use the washer and dryer and what detergent and fabric softener to use. 

She showed me the difference between the fabric softener sheets and the sheets used in the washer to keep the colors from bleeding into the other clothes. I never realized how much effort laundry could be. 

After the washer was started, we started washing our panties together. Mom told me that panties are more delicate than my old briefs. To make them last and stay silky soft they need special care.

At this moment I felt like I should be throwing a fit, but I didn't. Instead that warm feeling was overpowering my mind. My emotions were more accepting of her instructions. The feeling of the smooth fabric as I washed my things felt nice. 

I had to admit to myself they felt nicer than my briefs did. 

Soon we washed my tights and dance leotards by hand. Mom showed me how hang everything to dry properly. She turned on the fan facing the hanging clothes and we went into the kitchen for some Iced tea. 

Mom, I want to play Fortnite with Amy, but I have a problem. 

Is your account frozen? She asked.

No , I need to buy a couple characters. Female characters! I said with a little hesitation. Maybe some credits too, for weapons. 

I'm going to need to see them first! Mom said with a little resentment. 

We went up to my room. I logged in and showed her my profile and characters. 

You're right you can't play with girls with these characters. 

I'll make you a deal, Donna! You start participating in chores around the house, starting with laundry and I'll buy you three characters and credits for weapons! Deal? 

Deal! I said. 

I put on my fuchsia flower print dress and we drove to Walmart. Mom bought me three one hundred dollar cards for Fortnite. We bought groceries and mom bought me two new sun dresses, sunglasses and two baseball caps in pink and white.

When we got home I helped Mom with the groceries and I went upstairs and started working on my Fortnite account. I bought Mystique and Gamora like I planned. I bought a couple of weapons packs. I messaged Amy on the game.

Amy said she would be on after dinner after 7 pm. I went back into the kitchen and started helping my Mom with dinner. We had baked Cod with a side salad and cottage cheese.

My Mom wasn't as aggressive as she was. She agreed to my Fortnite request way too easy. I was grateful for the cards. For some unexplained reason as I was as mad as I before. Mom wasn't acting frustrated or as guilty.

I went into my room and started updating my diary. I remembered everything. I wrote everything including my unexplained changes in attitude. I wrote down my visit with Amy and the fun we had.

Monday through Thursday was the same as before. Amy and I went with my mom to get frozen Hot Chocolates and biscotti. On Friday at 10 am we visited Doctor Reid.

I vaguely remember the entire visit. I remember the pen. Mom had her own visit with Doctor Reid for about an hour. I waited in the exit room for an hour.

After our visit at Doctor Reid's office, Mom took me to self-defense class. Liz greeted me with a smile.

Good afternoon, Donna!

Are you ready?

Yes ma'am. I spent two hours with Liz she was teaching me how to fight like a girl! She taught me how to balance myself and shift my weight. I was actually getting better with my balance. I found Liz to be easy to understand.

See you next week! Liz said.

Mom and I went home. Mom and I started dusting and vacuuming the house. Mom showed me how to clean the windows and mirrors. Mom wasn't her usual self, she was more patient with me than ever. I started feeling more understanding and cooperative.

I kept writing in my diary. I wasn't sure why I wasn't as angry anymore.

Sunday morning I woke up to scrambled eggs and smokey links. At 10 am Charlene came over. Twenty minutes later I was dressed in a Tennis skirt and tank top. Charlene took me to the community college tennis courts again.

Charlene was so sweet to me. I didn't feel angry with her like I did before. Charlene didn't treat me any different. She ran me through serving and returning drills. Once I got the hang of being able to volley she started showing how to aim my returns and my serves.

It was like that all summer. A solid routine. I was never in my bedroom anymore, not during the day. Fortnite almost every night with Amy and a couple friends of hers. My new characters got positive feedback from my new gaming friends.

Amy and I were doing great in dance classes. I started getting the hang of yoga on Friday. Liz was happy with my progress in my self-defense class. Dr Reid had positive feedback on my attitude and my openness in our sessions (I don't remember half of it). My mother was acting far more supportive than ever.

Two weeks before school started mom announced I would be attending Amy's private school. It was a Co-ed school, with uniforms and everything else a private school has. That same afternoon, we went to my new school. Mom and I were interviewed. I was measured for a school girls uniform. I was issued two blazers, three skirts, three pairs of slacks, and three vests. We had to buy white blouses, knee high nylons and Mary Jane shoes. Heels could not be higher than 3 inches.

I found out just before school started that Amy's Mom, Lynn pulled a few strings to get me accepted. While I wasn't thrilled about going to school as a girl, it was better than going back to my old school or Fort Smith Military Academy.

The weekend before school started Amy had me over for a sleepover on Saturday night. We stayed up late watching BTK videos on YouTube and playing Fortnite together. I brought over a small tub of honey butter and we melted it and poured it over our popcorn. I didn't have a problem keeping my secret.

When I got home Sunday afternoon, Mom had the entire house clean. Monday was my last full day of ballet practice. Tuesday was a half day at school. Amy and I were in the same class. (Thank goodness)

The teacher was nice, He forgot to introduce me to the class. I didn't bother to correct him. 5th grade wasn't too bad. I stayed close to Amy. No one said anything mean. The girls bathroom was a lot nicer than the boys bathroom at my old school.

I didn't sign up for any sports or after school activities. I had dance practice 4 days a week and yoga and aerobics on Friday afternoon. My Saturday morning and early afternoon were not my own anymore, between Doctor Reid and Liz for self-defense class I was very busy.

School wasn't as bad here. Going as a girl so far wasn't too bad. Every school had a couple of mean girls, but they didn't want to tangle with Amy. I was able to eat lunch with Amy and a few other girls. The boys didn't bother girls like they bothered other boys.

The bullying policy in this school was strictly enforced. 9 weeks into school, I received my first report card. Straight A's. Just like before my father died. I haven't seen my mother so happy since before my Dad passed away. She gave me another hundred dollars for my Fortnite game and started shopping for costumes for the comic-con convention over Thanksgiving break.

I wasn't sure which costume she was going to pick for me. Mystique required a full bodysuit and Gamora required lots of accessories and green body makeup. Both costumes required wigs as well. Halloween was also approaching. I wanted a different costume for Halloween. Mom agreed with me about getting a second costume.

You can't wear the same outfit twice! Mom said. Don't worry about it, Donna! I'll think of something!

Thanks Mom! I said

For the first time in a long time we agreed on something. As Halloween got closer and closer my routines were becoming second nature. I was actually enjoying myself. I became friends with a few of Amy's friends. School was actually a lot of fun.

I wasn't picked on by anyone. Amy was the leader of our group. Amy and I were the only two girls in school that wore 3-inch Mary Jane block heels in fifth grade. Lynn and my mom made us at first. They said it would help us improve our grace and posture.

Amy didn't really need the help, but I did. After a month wearing 3-inch heels, I was walking as gracefully as any other girl in school, including the high school girls. My confidence was growing every day. I was still writing in my diary every night.

The week before Halloween I came home from school and found two large packages were delivered to the house. Both addressed to my mom.

What are these? I asked.

Those are your new costumes!

Which ones did you get? I asked.

I ordered you, the Mystique costume for Comic con. For Halloween I ordered the Snow White dress! Do you want to try them on?

The Snow White costume wasn't a regular costume, it was an actual dress it had multiple layers of satin with blue satin slip. I wasn't sure why I liked the dress so much but I did! I couldn't wait for Halloween this year!

I've been begging to go to Comic-con for a couple years now and I was finally going! Not as a Normie, but as a Character! Two years ago I wanted to go dressed as Spider man. but now I was excited to be Mystique

The Mystique costume was a Mystique blue spandex bodysuit with scales and fingernail gloves, blue body paint makeup, red wig and contact lenses. Amy was going as Black widow. I haven't been this excited since I was in the Christmas play.

Halloween was on a Sunday this year.we were allowed to wear our costumes to school on the Friday before Halloween. Amy went to school as Merida, I went as Snow White. Amy's friends Jill and Cindy went as Jasmine and Aurora. It was a lot of fun at school.

On Saturday the downtown businesses had afternoon trick or treating for the children. Amy, Jill, Cindy and I collected a good haul of candy and small plastic toys. We were on our way back to our cars when I saw Tommy in his brother's high school football uniform.

I started looking for a place to hide! I was terrified. I was more worried about being called out being dressed as a girl than I was beaten up.

Mom saw my reaction and saw Tommy so did Amy.

Come on girls! Let's go this way! My Mom exclaimed. We crossed the street and walked on the sidewalk on the opposite of Tommy and his mother. My Mom positioned herself on the outside keeping me out of view. My mom turned away from Mrs Pippin.

Thanks to my Mom and Amy I narrowly escaped humiliation. I started breathing normally once I was in the car.

When we got back home I raced to my room and closed the door. I started crying. I was curled up in the fetal position. My mom knocked on the door.

Sweetheart, can I come in?

The door is unlocked! I said

Ohh! Sweetheart I never realized how traumatized you are!

Mom! Just don't! Please! I said.

Mom spooned me from behind. She wrapped her arms around me, just like Charlene did.

Let it out, sweetheart! Let it all out! It's okay! Just cry! Mommy is right here! I'll never leave you! I promise! Let it go! Mom said.

Next time, I won't let you down! I swear to God! Mom said.

Mom squeezed me tightly. I grabbed her hands and squeezed. She kissed my ear.

I'm so sorry I failed you! Never again! You have my word!

It was at that moment I began to trust and love my mom a little more.