One Boy's Journey Chapter 17

Written by Brianna Demonet

We were outside for a while. I was feeling very loved and special. John was confident in his kissing me. I felt like a princess in the arms of my prince charming. I was the one that had to control our situation at the moment.

John, John...

Yes, Ree, we should probably go for a bit of a walk.

Your right. Come on this way. He led me down a narrow path that took us to the street. We walked around the corner and then back towards the house. We stopped under a street light I wiped up his face and fixed myself up. We headed inside.

I went to the bathroom without anyone looking at me. I touched myself up a little more and used the bathroom. John told me to meet him in his room. Aunt V was talking with Jii and Yon.

As I entered his room, I heard Yon say, John, please bring Ree down.

Yes Ma'am, he said.

Your mom wants us downstairs John. He got up, grabbed my hand, and led me downstairs. It was after 10:30 pm.

Ree, Vee, Yon and I are very happy to have you this evening. It's been a pleasure getting to know you both. Gamsahada (thank you) I said in Korean.

I bowed to Jii and Yon first, Aunt V followed suit. They returned our bow.

Where did you learn that? Asked Yon. I looked at John.

Yon beamed a smile at her son.

We were saying our goodbyes and Yon said to us you are welcome here anytime. She hugged my Aunt V and me. We went home.

Aunt V said that it was tense for a minute there.

I figured it was coming, John warned me ahead of time.

Why didn't you warn me?

Because if I had you would have been more defensive. Besides this was my situation to deal with. To be honest I didn't know how I would handle it.

How did you know all those things?

Research, John and I called May!

Smart girl, said Aunt V.

Aunt V, you always say no secrets? So does that mean if I am confused about something, I can talk to you without harsh judgment or punishment?

Of course honey.

Anything, Aunt V?

Of course!

I have to warn you that what I need to talk about is very sensitive.

Rianna just say it already!

Aunt V, I am having some very serious physical urges.

Go on?

Like the kind of urges a girl gets for a boy!

Ree have you?

No, no, I swear we have not done anything but kiss. John has never touched me anywhere besides my lips and my lower back. No higher or lower.

What do you want to know, Ree?

How do I control them? Sometimes they are so strong it feels like, I just feel the overwhelming desire or need to do more. Rianna all women feel like that when they are in the arms of partners.

What you are feeling is normal for a healthy young woman. The problem is you're not even 14 yet.

Aunt V, you know I have to dilate twice a day, right?

I never thought about it but that sounds right.

What would be the difference if it was John? He can't get me pregnant. That's true but you are a young woman with a bright future. Sex, especially at your age, would tarnish every dream you have for your future.

Sex, Rianna, is more than just a physical act or a desire. It's also a responsibility. You need to be responsible when you are ready.

Your mom was 19, going on 20 years old when she had you. Your mom went to work and took care of you while your father finished college. A year after he graduated, your mother was supposed to go back to college, but she never did because your dad disappeared. So your mother worked two and three jobs to support you both and saved enough to buy the salon.

My point is every decision you make shapes your future. If you really love yourself you will wait to have sex. John is 16 and he hasn't had sex yet. You both have your whole lives ahead of you to have sex.

How old were you, Aunt V?

I was 16 and it was with a boy.

Aunt V, what happened with my dad? Why did he leave?

No one really knows why he left, Ree. I never really liked your father. He was never abusive to your mother but he was never happy either. No one knows why. I know your mother loves you, I love you.

You have been through a very traumatic and life-changing event. Things are still very confusing for you. I understand more than you realize Ree. You must understand everything you are feeling is normal. Because you were a boy at one time it will be more confusing to you.

Did John ever get handsy with you?

No, Aunt V.

Did you?

No, Aunt V, I thought about it, I think about it a lot. He makes me feel safe, comfortable, and warm. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone, especially a boy.

That's because John is more of a man than a boy. He comes from a very good family. He's a very respectful young man. Did you notice how he stuck up for you without insulting his parents?

Yes, I did, another reason I feel safe with him. You need to curb your desire for sex sweetie. You have plenty of time for that later in life.

I know I give you a lot of latitude, that's because I trust you to act accordingly. I want you to know I am proud that you can trust me to come to me with this.

Aunt V, I have another question.

Yes, sweetie?

I have feelings for Lexi too. We have never done anything, but I know we both feel it. That's normal, honey. A lot of girlfriends kiss each other. It's how we, as girls, learn.

But sometimes it feels deeper.

It will Ree.

Lexi is a very nice person and very open-minded. She has very similar desires to you. If you and Lexi end up kissing or more just remember to keep it between yourselves and come talk to me.

Just remember to talk to me. As far as things with Lexi go, you both are in transition. Things are going to be confusing. Just remember to be friends first.

Lexi and Emma are your first real friends. That bond is special. Intimacy is special between two people, even close friends. It can be tricky to manage. You have to weigh the importance of your friendship over intimacy.

I love how Aunt V always explained things. To this day she never once tried to psychoanalyze me. I went to bed actually feeling a bit better. I was still confused but I had a new way of thinking about these things.

Sunday I was up at 6:00 am. Brunch was at 10. I couldn't go back to sleep. I put on my swimsuit and cap and started doing some laps. Thank goodness for the pool heater.

I hadn't swam in a while and I needed to clear my head. With every activity I was in I was in great shape. I was on my 25th lap when Aunt V came downstairs. She started coffee and some hot water for me for some tea.

I did 30 laps. I was surprised I could do so many, I haven't swam much since cheerleading and school started.

How many laps did you do?

30 I said. That's impressive, considering you haven't swum much lately, Aunt V stated.

I'm surprised too. I started to walk away to change.

Hold on, Ree!

I saw a strange-looking caliper and the measuring tape.

I need to check your BMI!

My what?

Body Mass Index young lady.

You do eat but you're also extremely active. If you don't feed your body correctly you'll have health and mental issues.

She started measuring me. 6%! That's borderline for a young person, boy or girl. Your BMI should be 10% minimum. You have great muscle tone. No sign of malnutrition. But you are going to need to add some carbohydrates to your diet.

What does that mean? I asked.

In a word?

Bread and potatoes. Whole wheat bread and potatoes. Some hash browns with eggs won't hurt you. Rice is good too. You have your monthly endocrinologist exam this Friday after school.

You want to go homecoming dance, right?

Yes of course.

Then you will have to add a few more portions to your daily diet. Not a lot but a few.

We got ready for brunch. I wore my red blazer dress with my white silk blouse nude stockings, and red 3" heels. Aunt V wore a dark green double-breasted coat dress with black stockings and black her 5" Lou Vuitton heels.

It always amazes me how Aunt V could drive a stick shift in heels. I love going to brunch, but riding in her Porsche was my favorite part of Sunday brunch.

We met Taylor, Lexi, Linda, and Emma. We had a table with a great view of the fairway. I got scrambled eggs, sausage, and hash browns this morning. Emma and Lexi were giggling on and off through brunch. We talked about our dinner with the Parks.

I was starting to wonder what was so funny.

Okay girls, what is so funny?

Emma said Evan Miles asked me to homecoming.

And you Lexi? The same James Sanders asked me too.

That's great news I said.

Taylor said I have salon appointments for all three of you. After you're finished at the salon, you three will dress at Vanessa's house, and then the limo will pick up the boys. You will ride to dance together in the limo I rented said, Aunt V.

I whisper to my Aunt V.

That's a great idea. Would you girls like to stay the night after the dance? Asked Aunt V.

Yes, Please, in unison. We were excited.

I was so excited.

As a boy I never had a girl say yes to me for anything. Now I am a girl going to homecoming with the cutest guy in school. My two best friends have dates with equally cute guys. Gosh, I love it out here. In Ohio, I was just considered trailer trash.

Meanwhile back in Ohio.

Brenda

I was very busy at the salon. So busy I was working, 60 plus hours a week just to keep up with things. I scheduled myself for almost 3 weeks off over Christmas. With recent settlement and things, I was really looking forward to moving out west.

Dan told me he would help us find a nice place to live.

He said, "Brenda, please let me help you. Gosh knows you deserve a break, and I know what to look for".

I told Dan I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I wanted a home with a garage and a nice Patio maybe a pool for Ree to swim in, and air conditioning. I want a lawn and a walk-in closet. I was all over the place with my emotions.

Dan wrapped his arms around me. He didn't say a word. He just hugged me firmly and held my head on his chest. He padded my back gently. I started to cry again.

Dan kissed my forehead then my cheek. I shifted my face to his. He smiled and kissed me. Instantly I felt better! Gosh, what a man!

Vanessa kept me well-informed on Rianna. I was always worried about Rianna, what mother wouldn't be. I knew Vanessa would protect her. That was never a question. I was a bit depressed that I wasn't there to share her development and experiences with her.

I have been very suspicious of Mrs Newhouse and all the high-end clients she brought me. I enjoyed the extra business and so did my girls. They had more than doubled their income. I kept telling them to save their money. I knew at some point the other shoe would drop.

I have been a member of the Chamber of Commerce for the last 10 years. Since Rianna left for Vegas I became very active in it. The Newhouse's had to resign over Rianna's incident. I found out that they could rejoin, but only with a unanimous vote. They can't join again until their probation is finished.

I also knew that Isabella and her husband were on probation. Mr Newhouse was not happy. He spent much of his time traveling. Now he had to clear every trip with his probation officer.

I figured that was part of the reason for the business. I intend to sell the business to my girls. I wanted my stylists to have it. I couldn't give it to them. If I gave them the income tax and the tax debt, they would have, If I did, they wouldn't survive.

The biggest problem was when and if to tell them. It's a salon, and everybody talks. One whiff of my plans and my stylists are going to be looking for jobs. There aren't enough jobs in this town.

My relationship with Dan (Mr. Milford) is going well. He has been great. He's older than I am, but he treats me like a queen. Next week, I will be staying at his place for a couple of weeks.

After the roof is finished I'm remodeling the trailer a bit. I have to sell it. I own the trailer, but I can't move it; it's too old to move. But it's too nice to just give it away.

Mrs Chandler (the owner of the trailer park) knows my plan for fixing it up, but not why. Dan knows I plan to move out west. I am kinda hoping he'll join me. But nothing is for sure at this moment.

I have time to line things correctly before the big lawsuit is filed. Cathy told me she wanted to sue them for 25 to 30 million dollars. The school gave us 6 million. Which is a lot of money. But the pain and suffering I saw my son go through is always there. I still wake up to images of my child all bloody and bandaged up.

It's been over 5 months and people are still talking about it. The good thing that came about this in town was the police and the court. Since word got out about Judge Franks's ruling. The rich kids have been far more subdued than ever.

Wednesday noon, Mrs Newhouse walked in for her appointment. I greeted her with a smile like every client. She was always very gracious. But I also heard other stories about her. I never repeated them. I knew she had a mean streak, but she was also very smart in how she used it.

Brenda nice to see you.

You to Isabella.

How is Rianna doing?

She's doing okay. She is still in therapy, but she likes her new school. I showed her a picture of her from brunch. I never asked her about her sons. Frankly, I didn't care.

I love the improvements you have made here. This floor is beautiful; who did it?

I did with the help of some friends. I could tell she was fishing for information.

Well, I love it.

So Isabella what are we doing today?

I'd like to add some color today.

Isabella had dark brown hair. It's been going gray fast since the incident.

I'd like to add some highlights to offset my gray hair.

I can do that. I handed her a coloring chart and we started talking about styles. She picked a color 3 shades lighter than her regular hair color. I showed her the Highlights and lowlights I could blend with.

What do you think about my hair styled in a Bob? Isabella asked.

You have long, beautiful hair, Isabella. I can do a Bob, but It also depends on how short you want it.

What do you suggest? Isabella asked.

I would do a long bob. That way, if you don't like it, we can change it.

Can we try a long bob slightly wedged in front and a little shorter in the back?

Truth be told, she does have nice hair. I worked on her for two hours. I pretend to be a friend to her but I don't know if I can ever forgive her boys or her and her husband. Maybe one day. But I know I can't forget what happened.

Brenda, I know you may never be able to forgive me or my sons. I want you to know my husband and I are ashamed of our boys and their actions.

You need to know we have great respect for you and your daughter. You could have talked about the incident and never did.

It's no one's business but ours, Isabella. This is a small town. Everything gets blown out of proportion. I don't blame you or your husband personally.

But I don't know if I can forgive your sons or the other boys. Rianna is doing better but she is still having episodes.

I pray for her Brenda, I do.

Thanks, Isabella, that's nice to hear. Now are you ready to see your hair? I spin the chair around holding a mirror.

Oh Brenda it's perfect.

Do you like it?

I love it.

It's going to be very easy to take care of. I showed her how to style it. She paid me and handed me a 40$ tip. Isabella made appointments every two weeks until I left for Christmas. I reminded her I would be gone over Christmas visiting family in Indiana over the holidays

No one knew exactly where I was going over Christmas, and it would stay that way. I was sad I had not been able to see my daughter cheer for any of her games.

Vanessa sent videos. I have to say Rianna was doing a great job. She was a Cheer captain. I loved Ryan with all my heart. But I have to say I really love my daughter Rianna.

It's October now and the air is getting colder. I am supposed to meet Cathy in a couple of weeks to talk about the lawsuit against the Newhouse. If Cathy's calculations are correct and we can get another 10 million I can finish my bachelor's degree and go to law school and not have to work.

I was 19 when I gave birth to Ryan/Rianna. Truth be told I always wanted a girl, but not the price Rianna had to pay for it. The separation from my daughter was very hard on me.

Vanessa and Dan were very helpful. I was seeing a local therapist for my own trauma over the incident. I even went to a few support group meetings for support.

I had just finished having dinner with Dan and the phone rang. It was Cathy.

Hi Brenda,

Hi Cathy.

How are you, Brenda?

I have my good days and bad.

Listen, I am still getting our ducks in a row for things out here, but we still are moving forward. It will be next year before I bring the lawsuit forward. In the meantime, my husband and I are planning a trip to Vegas to see Rianna's recital, and my parents are wondering if you and Dan would like to spend Christmas with us at my family's vineyard in Napa Valley.

Dan was listening to us, he started nodding yes to me.

We would love it too. Thank you, Cathy.

One question does Dan have black slacks and shoes?

Again Dan just nodded. Yes, good. I need to get him a proper dress shirt, what size is he?

44" long 17" neck. Dan exclaimed.

I am happy to buy a shirt said Dan.

No need Dan, I am happy to take care of it said Cathy. Just take care of Brenda.

That's my intention, Cathy.

Brenda, we'll talk soon.

Okay Cathy goodbye.

I bought Dan and me two first-class round-trip tickets to Vegas. I was going over everything in my head. I need to figure out what to get Ree, V, and Cathy for Christmas.

Judging by all the pictures Vanessa and Ree sent me, clothes aren't an option. Ree wasn't playing video games anymore, Thank gosh!

Vanessa even took care of setting Ree up with a new computer and office system. I had to think. Vanessa was even harder to shop for. What do you get a woman who can afford what she wants?

Add the fact I needed some clothes for the trip. Dan was easy to buy by comparison. Dan isn't a big drinker but he loves a good bottle of Bourbon. Plus he could use a better watch.

Next week my remodeling starts for my trailer. I will be staying at Dan's place for two weeks. Dan has a nice house. He has a nice 3 bedroom ranch-style home. Gosh, I hope what we have is real. I think I love him.

Three weeks later in Las Vegas

This week was our spirit week at school. We had locker decorations, every grade was assigned a hallway to decorate. Students were allowed a slightly relaxed dress code (within reason).

The three of us helped the rest of the squad with hairstyles. We weaved Blue, and silver ribbons through our hair. We tied our ponytails with big bows. On Crazy Shoe Day, I wore my 4" heels. One bright blue and the other black.

All the cheerleaders wore blue, silver, and black eyeshadow. Our fingernails are painted in blue and silver. We all wore blue and silver on our lips. Only Cheerleaders were allowed the different makeup.

When I say all the cheerleaders, I mean 9th grade through 12th.

The 10th grade had their football game on Thursday night. The homecoming game was on Saturday at 12:30 pm. The dance was Saturday night at 7.

Both JV and Varsity were 5-0 going into Homecoming weekend. Emma and Lexi were thrilled about their dates. I was over the moon for John.

Since we had dinner with his parents, John and I got much closer. John was a gentleman with me. It made me feel very special.

My candle burned hot for him. I always told Aunt V about our dates. I logged my feelings in my therapy notebook. My therapist helped me curb my desires.

I found talking to my Aunt V helped. She never judged me for sharing. Emma and Lexi were told to keep an eye on my diet. I was 110 lbs, and I grew another 1/2". I'm now 5' 6" 1/2" tall. Mom is only 5' 7" tall.

John and I had standing dinner dates every Saturday. Last Saturday he took me roller skating. We had a great time. He never left my side or looked at another girl.

Thursday night's game was electric. Our JV team was pumped up for the game. The Meadows Mustangs have lost the last five years in a row to the Clark Cougars.

James threw for almost 300 yards and had 3 touchdown passes. Two of the catches went to Evan. Evan was unstoppable he had 172 yards in receptions with 15 receptions.

JV's defense was the Great Wall of China. We won 55 to 9. The Cougars never got a touchdown. The only reason they scored 3 field goals was their kicker could kick 50 yards for the field goals. We are now 6-0.

We cheered our hearts out. At halftime, we did our dance routine right after the Cougar cheer squad. Our routine blew them away. We did the routine to Only Girl. The whole stadium went crazy cheering us.

Our varsity team was playing the varsity Cougars on Saturday at 12:30 pm. The Cougars were 5-0 and they won the state championship last year. We had been practicing with the Varsity squad for the halftime show for the last four weeks.

We had our high school ROTC drill team on the field before us at halftime. I saw them practice once. They were flipping and tossing rifles back and forth. They were really good.

Friday at school was crazy fun. The school spirit was in high gear. Many of the kids painted their faces. All the football players wore their Blue football jerseys. Many of the players painted their faces like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. All the cheerleaders wore our uniforms.

The cheerleaders who dated football players painted the numbers of their dates/boyfriends on their cheeks. I painted 20 on mine in blue and I outlined it in silver. I had a JP painted on the other cheek.

It was October now and John and I seeing one another wasn't a secret. We never tried to hide the fact, but we didn't advertise it either. To this day I believe we mean a lot more to each other than arm candy.

Lexi and Emma were as excited as I was. I wore my VS C-cup angel bra with my cheerleader uniform. The response I got was tremendous. The boys were tripping over themselves.

Most of the girls didn't care. A few had some negative looks or comments. It helped that I had John's initials and number on my face.

I wasn't trying to do anything except look my best for my squad and my man.

The pep rally was at 1:30 pm Friday. The cheerleaders were excused early for it. The JV and varsity squads had been practicing together for a month now this routine. We did it to the song Only Girl. We all wore Blue and silver bows in our hair. Our makeup and lips were blue and silver.

We were called out in front of the entire school. Packed in the large gymnasium. We formed up, bowed our heads, and waited for the music. The Varsity football team watched us from the side of the basketball court. I saw John in the front. It made me smile brighter.

All the girls were in the groove. We danced our hearts out. The music was loud, It almost felt like Rhianna was singing just for us. Shelly was leading us with true spirit.

I thought the world of her, I still do to this day. She was the big sister I never had. Shelly has always been there for me. There are some things in this world you can only share with a big sister.

We ended our routine with a larger-than-life formation. It looked a bit like a Charlie's Angels action pose but a lot bigger with over 40 girls. The crowd went nuts.

We broke formation and started jumping up and down, screaming with glee. I noticed that Taylor, Linda, Aunt V, and Mrs Park were all sitting off to the side together.

We took our seats in front of the stage. As the coach introduced the Varsity team. They called out the captains first. John was the last name they called.

They credited John with his success so far. John was blushing a bit. I knew he didn't like it much, but even John knew it was good for the spirit of the moment.

People were screaming Go JP, Johnny, Johnny!!!!! John stood up and walked to the podium. He waved his hands to quiet the crowd.

Thank you everyone. My performance this year has been a team effort he named everyone that he played with.

I can run and catch a ball. But without you, this Team, our Coaches, and our cheerleaders, we would not be as successful as we have been. 99 other players deserve the same credit.

Let's hear it for Our Mustangs!!!

The School erupted in cheers.

We (the cheerleaders) spread out in front of the crowd. Waving our hands from low to high getting the crowd to erupt again. Everyone was cheering, yelling, clapping, and whistling. People were stomping their feet in the stands.

We could feel the vibrations on the floor of the gym. The Football team got up and joined us. A bunch of players grabbed us and lifted us over their heads.

John grabbed me. I was shocked for a moment until I realized it was him. I gave him my biggest smile.

The coach took the microphone and said let's hear it one more time for Your Mustangs!

It was even louder. We were jumping up and down. The players lifted us again. It was a great feeling. I still treasure this memory today.

I saw Cheryl in the crowd. She gave me a thumbs up. I pointed at her and mouthed the words "Your next!"

I worked with Cheryl in gym/cheer class. She was greatly improved. I loved having John hold me up over his Head. He said I was as light as a feather to lift. John smiled when he saw his number and initials on my cheeks.

I love your face paint, he said.

I love the way you lifted me off my feet.

John smiled and said it's easy to lift an Angel.

I kissed his cheek right there in the gym.

Are you changing at home after the game?

I asked. He said yes, what time can I pick you up? No need, we have a limo for the night. What time should we come by? I asked.

5 pm I know my mom will want pictures.

Where do you want to eat, Ree?

Olive Garden I already made reservations, I said.

Sounds great, said John. I love Italian food after a game.

I have to cheer at halftime then the girls and I are leaving to get dressed and ready.

You're not staying for the whole game?

Sorry, handsome, but some of us take longer to get ready than others.

He smiled and said you are a lot like my mother, she says almost the very same thing to my dad.

I beamed a smile at him.

We greeted our parents. Emma and Lexi introduced James and Evan. Mrs Park took an instant shine to everyone.

Mom, meet the future Varsity football stars for next year. James Sanders, our JV quarterback, and his go-to wide receiver, Evan Miles.

James and Evan were both shocked and proud John referred to them by their first and last names.

James and Evan looked at John and gave him a nod. The boys separated from us girls for a moment.

I heard John say. I hope you will remember to pitch me the ball once in a while James.

I'm looking forward to playing with you next season John.

Me too, said Evan.

I heard John compliment them on their game last night.

The mothers were chatting about pictures and agreed that the 3 of us be picked up at my house at 4:30 ish. After we had our pictures taken. Mrs Park was set up to take pictures of all of us at her house. She wanted all of us then a few of John and me, even with his sister's. We separated and went home.

I still had my therapist meeting on Saturday morning, and we had Mani/Pedi appointments in the morning and hair and makeup after the halftime show. Plus we all had to get our pedal bras applied.

It was 9 pm when I went to sleep. I was on cloud nine when I went to bed. I woke up around 3 am. In a cold sweat. Aunt V wasn't in my room. I was not screaming.

But the flash of the attack came back. I logged the nightmare in my therapy notebook. I started the shower and rinsed off. I changed into a fresh nightie and went to lie down with my Aunt V.

She woke up as I was getting in her bed.

You alright honey?

I'm okay just a nightmare.

I didn't hear you scream. I don't think I did. Is it alright if I sleep with you tonight?

Of course, honey, you have a big day tomorrow.

I woke up at 6 and got myself ready for the day. Aunt V took me to my appointment, went to her office, and caught up on some paperwork. My therapist was helpful and complimented me on my documentation.

She said I need to consider slowing down a bit if I have any more nightmares. I told her after today, we only have four more games, and I would not have any activity until after the Christmas break.

I wanted to try out for the JV swim team. She said she would keep an eye on me but we might need to meet twice a week if things get worse. She was happy that I went straight to Aunt V after it happened. She said sharing your trouble is not a sign of weakness, it's a strength.

I went into my Aunt V's office and started cleaning and filling it. We got to Taylor's salon a little earlier than usual. Lori was smiling when we walked in.

Are you ready to become a princess today?

Yes, fairy Godmother, I said.
We giggled together

Lori said. First, you need some waxwork, and then we'll do your nails. When you return, I have special plans for you with hair and makeup.