"August" 2020 AMA Stream (Part 1)

Hey gorg. Longish time admirer, new patron. Thanks for sharing all of the difficult stuff. It's a rough time for everyone. We loves you lady. We're here for you.

Chas Dean

we love you Natalie

Patron for a while now. I don't mind if you do one video per year, or fewer. I think of my patreon contributing as partially retroactive, as I have benefited a lot from your videos, both before and after I started contributing. Supporters shouldn't be baying for content and creators shouldn't feel like their health comes second to making it.

David Thornthwaite

Hey Natalie, been watching your videos for years and am a recent patron. First, just want to echo what others have said that I have zero expectation for a video upload quota or even these patreon perks. I believe in your artistic vision and want to support your ability to create whenever you're up to it. You've more than earned that goodwill. Second, I know what you're going through in the mental health realm, at least diagnostically. Here's to the normal days. Hope you find them soon. Fwiw microdosing acid helped me get out of the darkest place of my life. Out of control body issues, internalized homophobia, baby-gay 'fell in love with my best friend' drama, the works. Had similars concerns with psychedelics bc of my already precarious mental state lol, but it ended up being one of the most positive things I've ever done for myself. Wowowow, it helped me pull myself back from the brink and how. Might not be the same for you, but who knows? Be well sis <3

bub

Thank you for making me feel less alone in the struggle. You are inspiring on so many levels.

Ella Miss

Thinking about how Tabby would feel being put behind a paywall... hehe still hope to see one of fav personas return to the stage! Hope you feel better <3

Lexi Orchard (aka needmoreloot)

Natalie, I just subscribed to your Patreon and I struggle with Bipolar disorder as well. And seeing this video makes me feel less alone. I lost my best friend due to my mental health issues this year and the rejection has been heartbreaking. Im sorry that you have been going through a lot and I agree that this year has been the absolute worst. Seeing your content gives me joy and do not feel pressure to post that frequently. What you are doing is artistic and takes time. We all want you to thrive! Ive been a long term youtube subscriber and love the direction you are headed in. Wishing u the best. -Mason

I'm so sorry to hear what a hard time you're having, Natalie. I've dealt with (clinical, not colloquial -- I also appreciate the distinction) depression since I was around 14, and it is extremely hard to do anything when you're in that state. For me, medication has been extremely helpful in managing it, especially now, as many of my coping mechanisms are no longer available. Based on my limited experience with bipolar, I imagine that when you're in hypo-manic states, you prob don't even want to return to a "normal" or "average" frame of mind. And of course it's hard to want anything when you're depressed. Anyhow, all this to say that I empathize and hope you're able to find the help you need soon. Finally, I would be remiss without saying that your work is genuinely some of the most intellectually stimulating, engaging, entertaining, and socially critical work of our generation. I don't mean that hyperbolically or flatteringly. I genuinely think it's true.

Jordan

Is there word on part 2? Of the ama that is.

Midramble

It really hurts to see you so down Natalie. Just know that we, your viewers and patrons, adore you and wish you a strong and healthy recovery :)

"I don't feel that it's a good idea as a matter of philosophical principle to endorse the doom spiral." Classic

Natalie, I'm sorry to see you so down. I know that depression is hard and it does tend to reinforce itself. I wish I could help you with something more than just best wishes, especially since your brand of glamorous education kicked me out of a mental fog I was in due to my low key depression. Your creations are both intellectually challenging and entertaining and very, very valuable. Thank you for all the hard work (do not dismiss this, being coherent and productive while being depressed is quite an achievement and you have every right to revel in it).

Ivana