67-68 - Quit Breaking my Bots & Into the Fire

Hey, welcome to the new upload schedule. I'll be doing double chapters 2/week, with an occasional single chapter 1/week as well. If my output stays consistent, I may move to 5 total chapters a week consistently as well.

67 - Quit Breaking My Bots!

“I had to spend half my lifetime earnings on the power converters and solar rechargers. Then, it took two days to fly them here, and you’re just…breaking them!” Professor Panic continued. This wasn’t a recording. I could tell by the barely detectable deranged tone; when you fought someone repeatedly for years, you started picking up on the little things.

“No, I won’t be doing that,” I replied. He could see us, so he could definitely hear me. Where were his cameras and speakers? He’d moved in fast—either that or his bots had been here a while.

“Then I’m done messing around! Come in…to your doom!” I heard a beep through the speakers, and a door opened. It led further into the lair, and I could hear machines’ engines running inside. These weren’t the gentle hums and whirs of the Panic Pals or even LABRATs’ louder, deeper vibrations. No, these sounded crude—less like one of Professor Panic’s creations and more like…

…I couldn’t quite place it. But something big and immobile.

I dashed toward the open door, Fursona right behind me. We sprinted down the stairs and took a right through the unlocked doors. I punched a Panic Pal as we ran for Badass Points, then kept running, always toward the sound until it filled my ears. Then, a sharp left.

[Badass Takedown! +1 Badass Point Pending]

I skidded to a stop and sidestepped as Fursona catapulted past me. The cavernous room we’d rushed into was filled with clanging, thudding assembly lines. Near us, one line riveted tiny motors into the Panic Pals’ bodies to run their arms, while a few lines away, a claw installed batteries into the robots. A few stalled, silent machines in the back held half-finished golden dog bots—the same kind we’d fought a few weeks ago.

But the room hadn’t always been an assembly line. A half-assembled conference table stood shoved against a wall in one corner, and a pair of walls had been smashed in to make space for the assembly lines, but before that? They’d clearly been locker rooms. A few helmets with decorative spikes sat on the changing rooms’ benches or strewn across the floor. The rickety scaffolding and corrugated tin sheets attached to the machines’ sides made me think the whole operation was slapped together, not a longer-term project. This hadn’t been Peter’s lair for long. Was he working with the SSS, or had he just moved in after the last Episode?

My money was on the former.

A squad of Panic Pals swooped at us, and Fursona and I sprung into action. If I could shut the factory down, finding—and beating—Professor Panic would be simple. The machine’s controls had to be somewhere in the SSS’s former lair, but where?

I’d taken a dozen steps into the maze of conveyor belts when I realized Fursona wasn’t with me. I looked over my shoulder. She was fighting the Panic Pals. A chomping, rapping robot slammed into a painting machine, and Fursona waved for me to keep going. “I’m fine. Just shut it down!”

“Okay, just keep them off me!” I looked around. There! A steel walkway halfway up the lair’s wall looped around the room before turning into a catwalk. The suspended catwalk cut the room in half, and right in the middle, where someone could see the whole room, was a tiny control panel.

Two LABRATs guarded the stairs up to the walkway, but I didn’t need to fight them. “[Starwave Sail]!” I leaped onto my board and rocketed away toward the factory’s controls.

A Panic Pal rushed me as I landed a few dozen feet away from the controls. I used [Spotlight Strike], punched it, and kept running.

[Showoff! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending]

[Stylish Strike! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending]

The two LABRATs clunked up the stairs; their thrusters were too powerful—too out of control—to get them onto the platform safely. They charged their [Hypercompression Cannons] and fired.

Bang! Bang!

The catwalk rocked back and forth. I clung to the railing and pulled myself forward. The machine below me stamped steel plating into thin, shining armor, and I realized that landing on that conveyor belt would chip away my superhero damage pretty quickly.

The rocking, bucking catwalk stopped momentarily, and I lunged for the controls. I grabbed them and started trying to read them. Then I stopped. “Professor Panic, you [Beep!]” He hadn’t labeled anything, and nothing looked like a standard keyboard.

[Rating Warning #2! Episode Rating - PG! Censor in Effect]

There was something I could do, though. I [Checked the Script]. After more pondering, the power highlighted a pair of buttons. One was bright red. The other was a toggle on the control panel’s bottom.

A 50/50 chance. That wasn’t so bad, especially because Peter was a drama queen. He’d definitely have a self-destruct button, and it’d absolutely be the big red button.

Or…would it?

Nope. Peter knew that I knew he was a drama queen. He’d switch stuff around. But if he knew I knew that…

“Hey, hurry up! They’re coming!”

Bang! Bang!

Fursona was right. I didn’t have time to second-guess and puzzle through Professor Panic’s line of thought. The two LABRATs clomped onto the catwalk, which creaked from their weight and the airbursts that rocked it back and forth.

I slapped the button.

An alarm started sounding, and a steel door slammed shut over each exit. The two LABRATs stopped, and so did the assembly lines below.

[Good Thinking! +1 Cunning Point Pending]

I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d stopped the factory. If we could get to Professor Panic before—

“UNDERSTUDY THINKS SHE’S SUCH A GENIUS!

BUT IN REALITY, SHE’S JUST THE MEANY-EST!”

I punched the Panic Pal. I didn’t even need to look at it. That rhyme didn’t deserve attention.

[Badass Takedown! +1 Badass Point Pending]

Anyways, if we could get to Professor Panic before—

“Magical Girl Understudy, you think you’ve won?” A screen popped on, revealing the face of the FEAR Power Armor. It seemed thinner than the one I’d fought on Flat Top Hill, with less armor; Peter had cut every bit of weight he could from his machines.

“You haven’t won anything. LABRATs, we’re leaving. Delay the heroes. I’m starting the self-destruct sequence manually. This factory will implode in one minute.” A timer appeared next to the FEAR Armor’s face, which opened. Professor Panic grinned maniacally. “Fifty-nine. Fifty-eight. Goodbye, Understudy.”

[Episode Update! Rating Change! New Rating: PG-13]

I froze for a moment as the timer kept dropping. I’d never seen an Episode rating change, but the self-destruct-with-the-heroes-inside trick wasn’t a little-league move. Professor Panic’s picture disappeared from the screen. Clearly, he wasn’t sticking around for the explosion.

The moment he did, I realized something. “You motherfucker!” I shouted.

That’s right. I could swear now, and there was no way Fursona or Professor Panic was getting the big one from me!

The two LABRATs kept stomping after me, but I had no intention of fighting them. “[Starwave Sail]!” I flew off the catwalk, which groaned ominously under the two bots’ weight, but stayed up. At least for now. Fursona glared at me as I landed next to her.

[Showoff! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending!]

“Dammit, Understudy, that was supposed to be my swear! I even had it planned out for when we met back up. How are we getting out of this?”

I wasn’t sure. “Can you kick down a Panic Room door?”

“Probably not,” Fursona shook her kangaroo head. “Other ideas?

37, 36, 35

I [Checked the Script] again. “Okay, we need a bathroom or something. A room that’s pretty much cut off from the rest of the place. There’s a chance we can get through the floor and into…tunnels.”

“What kind of tunnels?” Fursona said. She was already looking for a bathroom.

“Uh, probably sewer lines or monorail.”

“Oh man, it’s gonna get in my fur!”

“Cheer up! It could be the monorail. If it is, we’ll have to run in case a train’s coming.” I spotted a bathroom; the good thing about college campuses was they were everywhere, even in a supervillain club’s basement lair.

25, 24, 23

We slammed through the door. Urinals lined the wall, but it’d been cleaned recently. I started tapping on the floor. Fursona joined me. “We’re listening for a hollow spot!”

13, 12, 11

“There is no hollow spot!” Fursona shouted at me.

“Keep looking!” I ran toward the sinks. Surely, there had to be one in here. Somewhere. Anywhere.

2, 1, 0

“Goodbye, Understudy!” Professor Panic’s voice echoed, and the whole lair started to collapse. So did the bathroom, falling twenty feet as the floor gave way.

◄▼►

[Good Thinking! +1 Cunning Point Pending]

[Absent-Hearted Professor: Pt. 1: Act Three Beginning]

Water rained down on my face as I woke up. For a second, it felt good. Then I realized it had a chance of being sewage, and I jumped to my feet, pushing rubble off of me as I did. The shattered, wrecked porcelain fixtures lay strewn around us, but a quick sniff showed it was clean water. I felt around until my hand felt fuzz and started helping Fursona up.

“Did we win?” The Justice-Roo asked.

“No, but we didn’t lose either. Act Three is starting now, and we need to get out of this…bathroom and figure out where we are. We did miss our intermission, though.” A tiny bit of light trickled in from above; it seemed like the whole TUEAS Building had collapsed, but somehow, we hadn’t been crushed. Even more luckily, a camera drone had gotten trapped under some rubble. We moved the twisted pipe and tiles off it, and it took to the air, filming us.

There was, in fact, a way out. I held up a pipe for Fursona to squeeze through, then waited for her to lift it while the camera drone zipped into the dark passageway. Once I was safely across, she let it go, and a whole mess of concrete rubble collapsed over the entry to the bathroom.

The tunnel we found ourselves in…wasn’t a subway line. And it wasn’t a sewer system either. It was natural—or at least, it wasn’t something people had made. The tunnel cut through the dirt in an uneven, twisting path, but it was tall—and wide—enough for Fursona and me to walk through it easily. The wall looked like it had been…brushed?

“Your ex-boyfriend is crazy,” Fursona said as we wandered the tunnel.

“Har har. He wasn’t always like this.”

“Really? You sure about that?”

I was. Professor Panic had always pushed the limits, but Peter…we’d had…something. Even if it wasn’t great at the end, we’d had something that lasted a while. The ending—and Professor Panic’s bullshit—didn’t necessarily mean the rest was bad.

And, to be honest, I missed Peter. Not as a partner; I hadn’t had any interest in that before he started a Series Finale about revenge. I definitely didn’t now. But I did miss him. Or at least, I missed him when he wasn’t going Genius Mode or running an Episode I didn’t want to deal with. Which was…most of the time.

“Maybe not.”

“Shhhhh!” Fursona held up a hand as the camera drone zipped around a corner.

I listened, dramatically holding a hand up to my ear even though the drone was gone. As Fursona and I silently stood there, I heard a sniffling sound up ahead. Then something moving against the tunnel walls. Whatever it was, it was big.

“Quiet. We’ve gotta get past it…whatever it is,” I said. Fursona nodded, and we crept forward and peeked around the corner.

“Shit,” Fursona said.

“Shit,” I agreed.

The creature’s rear end filled the tunnel in front of us, its thick brown fur rubbing against the wall. Its long back legs ended in sharp-looking claws, which dug into the ground and ripped the dirt and rocks apart with each step. It was shuffling away from us. We ducked around the corner again, holding our breath as the sniffling sound stopped and a low growling filled the stale tunnel air.

We’d gotten out of the metaphorical frying pan…and straight into the fire.

◄▼►

68 - Into the Fire

We retreated down the tunnel, back until we ran into the rubble piled against the bathroom’s wreckage. The creature—a D-wolver, a gigantic, mutated wolverine—didn’t follow us, and the growling subsided. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “So, I’m pretty sure Professor Panic got away. That’s a megafauna.”

“Yep.” Fursona fidgeted with her pocket.

“And we’re stuck in its tunnel under who knows how much rubble.” The TUEAS Building wasn’t very tall, but we’d been down below the basement. Professor Panic had laid a trap for us, and while we’d avoided it, his intent had been…

His intent had been revenge. To end our rivalry on his terms with a win. Had he planned to kill me?

Yeah, he planned to kill me.

That was a chilling thought. But I pushed it down because now wasn’t the time. I cleared my throat quietly and whispered to Fursona. “So, there’s probably two ways out of here. We can stay put and hope the D-wolver doesn’t find us…or try to get past it. Either way is risky, but I think we should fight. The school will be investigating, and this Episode just got a lot more dangerous. If we can stop the dire wolverine before some Extra gets eaten, that’d be better for everyone.”

“It wasn’t more dangerous when your ex tried to blow us up?”

“No. I mean, yeah, but we’re solidly in the minor leagues for danger now.” The little leagues had always had a tinge of goofiness, whether it was rated-G shenanigans or the PG serious-but-silly fights with Professor Panic. Blowing up buildings and running into megafauna? That was minor-league danger; it wouldn’t get too much worse until the majors, when the danger zone spread to everyone in the city. Or worse.

I cleared my throat again. Even minutes after the collapse, dust filled the tunnel. “We’re supers. Sure, we got flattened by Theseus, but we’ve got new moves and more power since then.”

“Maybe you’ve got new moves,” Fursona grumbled. Before I could ask her what she meant, she shook her head. “If you really think we can fight it, I’ll give it a go with you. But if we die, I’m killing you.”

I laughed. Quietly. “Fair. Alright. We’ll open big and try to take it down fast. It’s just one wolverine, right?”

“Right.”

Dozens of animal species had mutated after Launch Day, but thanks to the ilneats’ assistance, most species hadn’t gone extinct. I’d heard that there were even real wolverines somewhere near the Great Lakes. Oddly, most of the mutated animals didn’t grow extra limbs or two heads. They just got bigger. We’d gotten an email briefing on turbo-bison and D-wolvers in case one made it past the wall. Wolverines were solitary animals, and while the real deal was more of a scavenger, the mutated dire wolverine had to hunt for its food.

The bad news was that as soon as it realized we were here, we’d be its food. The good news was that it’d almost certainly be alone.

We crept back down the tunnel. The creature’s snuffling and growling had gotten quieter, and as I poked my head around the corner, its long legs and bulky hindquarters waddled down the tunnel and into the darkness. I signaled Fursona to wait before attacking; if the monstrous mammal kept moving, we might be able to avoid a fight. Carefully and slowly, we walked down the tunnel, following the gigantic carnivore.

The dark, dank tunnel never went pitch black, though. Before the dim daylight leaking through the TUEAS Building’s wreckage could fade completely, Fursona tapped my shoulder and pointed ahead. “Light,” she whispered.

“Shit,” I whispered back a few seconds later. The light she’d picked up wasn’t much, but it glowed the friendly yellow-white of electric bulbs. “We have to fight it now.”

The D-wolver’s tunnel cut into a subway line near one of the campus stops. That should have been detected; if Riverside had a sensor network, TU had to have its own. Why hadn’t it gone off the moment a megafauna breach happened? Was Professor Panic to blame for this, too? I shook my head to clear it. It didn’t matter. If the D-wolver was in the subway tunnel, it was here to hunt people. We needed to do something.

I pointed at the subway tunnel’s light. “It’s in there. We have to take it down fast before a train comes. It’ll rip through any Extras that get off.”

“Uh-huh. Okay, right.” Fursona bounced on the balls of her feet like she was psyching herself up. Then she hopped toward the lights.

I sprinted behind her, feet slipping slightly on the loose dirt, then crunching on gravel. The gigantic wolverine’s claws scrabbled on the concrete platform as it pulled itself up off the track. It turned, saw us, and roared, sending a scream of fetid-smelling breath right at me.

I used [Bit-Part Barrage] before it finished its feral-sounding scream. The aiming spotlight overlapped with the gigantic predator’s body. A moment later, pink and blue beams started pounding into it. It screamed again, this time in pain.

[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point Pending]

[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point Pending]

[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point Pending]

I’d gotten three good hits in, but shockingly, I’d seen at least eight beams make contact. Was its fur that thick?

I didn’t have time to think about it. I’d only barely landed back on the track’s gravel when the D-wolver moved. Its claws slammed into me, knocking me into the subway’s faux-tile wall and driving the wind out of me.

[HP 3/7]

The subway’s charging line crackled high above my head as I rolled. The wolverine’s huge claws had ripped across my stomach, shredding my Costume and knocking off two points of superhero damage. If it weren’t for that, I’d have been in trouble.

[Gritty Recovery! +1 Grit Point Pending]

“Dammit,” I coughed. The wolverine jumped down onto the tracks and sprinted at me. I was still in trouble. I pushed myself back to my feet and braced for impact.

“[Ground Pound]!” Fursona shouted. She shot up into the air over the oncoming monster, inches from the sparking charging line, then slammed into its back. Something cracked, and she fell off its back and onto the platform.

She did stop the wolverine’s charge, though. It skidded toward me, legs no longer under it. I turned and ran. Gravel smacked against my back. I could hear its paws churning as it struggled for purchase right behind me. “I’m a [Hometown Heroine]! This overgrown weasel isn’t going to run me down!”

I’d reached the station’s far side before the wolverine stopped sliding. It growled again, a guttural, room-shaking sound, and I leaped onto the platform. Any distance I could get was good. I didn’t have a ranged damage power left in Magical Girl Understudy, and I’d fucked up my build to get to Rainy Day. I didn’t have [Shimmerform]. There weren’t enough power slots.

Something knocked the monstrous mammal sideways, and it whirled, Back turning toward me. Fursona kicked out again, then ducked a claw swipe. Now that she had the monster’s attention, the Justice-Roo seemed more focused on staying alive. She backed away from a whirlwind of claws, kicking and using her tail when she had openings.

I had an opening, too.

“The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout.

Down came the rain and washed the spider out.”

I was halfway through my transformation to Rainy Day and fully committed to it when claws hit Fursona for the first time. I bit back a scream as fuzzy armor ripped off of her arm, exposing bare skin. “I’m okay, keep going, dammit!” She shouted and kicked the D-wolver’s front leg. It slammed into the ground, roared, and kept attacking.

“Out came the sun and dried up all the rain,

And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again!”

The transformation was complete—and not a moment too soon. “Run!” I shouted and dashed toward the D-wolver. It roared after Fursona.

But not for long.

I [Rode the Lightning]. But it wasn’t a normal-sized [Ride the Lightning]. Instead, as I used my power, it pulled electricity from the charging line up above. The yellow-white lightning arced into me, then into the D-wolver, ripping across its back and head. The lightning ripped across my Rainy Day costume, too, but it hurt the D-wolver more than me.

[Environmental Combo! +1 Cunning Point Pending]

[Stylish Strike! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending]

[Stylish Strike! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending]

[Feedback 1]

[HP 2/7]

[Confirm Combo Continuation?]

I could keep going? “Hell yeah,” I whispered, and the lightning continued, zapping both of us. It hurt, but tore into the D-wolver, which sizzled and smoked as the combo kept running. It was a good trade-off. I hoped.

[Environmental Combo! +1 Cunning Point Pending]

[Stylish Strike! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending]

[Stylish Strike! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending]

[Feedback 1]

[HP 1/7]

[Combo Collapse]

The combo collapsed, and so did I, crumpling onto the platform as my power finally ended. I picked myself up, still twitching from being a conduit for a combo’d [Ride the Lightning], and looked over at the D-wolver and my sidekick.

[Tough Girl! +1 Grit Point Pending]

The monster twitched, too, as it pulled itself onto its feet. It started clambering down the tunnel, slowly at first but quickly picking up speed. It’d had enough, and I got ready to pursue. If we could stop it, that’d go a long way toward my quest for the minor leagues. But Fursona was in even worse shape than before. Her duel with the wolverine had shredded her costume, and she wouldn’t be much use in a fight.

In fact, she probably had less superhero damage left than I did.

I made a choice. I couldn’t chase the D-wolver—not while Fursona was out of the fight. The Episode was probably a draw anyway since it was supposed to be Professor Panic against me. Drawing with a gigantic, minor-league-level threat like the wolverine wouldn’t hurt me too much.

I transformed back to Understudy, helped Fursona to her feet, and started walking up the stairs. Neither of us was particularly quick—we’d taken a beating, and even with [Rejuvenation] triggering, a real fight wouldn’t end well for either of us.

[Rejuvenation Activated: [Rejuvenation Activated: Hit Points 4/7]

So we both groaned as a different supervillain sprinted down the subway stairs right at us. I got ready to use [Spotlight Strike]—not that it’d help against a fresh supervillain.

“What the [Beep!] are you two doing here? And did you already use the f-bomb!?”

It took me a minute to recognize the villain. One arm was paper, and it was carrying a gigantic, McHammer-esque mace like it was a feather. The other was…a gun. And, unlike my previous encounter, the villain had replaced both legs, this time with what looked like sprinters’ legs. I didn’t want to know where he’d gotten those.

“Hi, Theseus,” I groaned. “Yep, I got it this Episode.”

Theseus would either beat us into the ground if he wasn’t on duty or hunt the D-wolver if he was. Either way, there wasn’t much we could do against the minor-league villain, so there wasn’t much point in getting ready for a fight.

“We got an alarm trigger just after the TUEAS Building collapsed. Where’s the megafauna?” Theseus was, as usual, all business.

I pointed down the subway tunnel. “Are you armed for the job?”

“Har har. I’m on duty, so I’ll tell you how it went in class tomorrow. Do not attempt to help. Little leaguers aren’t supposed to get involved in Man vs. Nature fights unless it’s an emergency.” He sprinted off, moving faster than I did with [Hometown Heroine].

“Good luck. We did a lot of damage to it,” I called as he left.

It didn’t take Theseus long. We’d barely made it up the subway station’s stairs when the notification came in.

[Episode Finished!]

[Episode: Series Finale: Absent-Hearted Professor: Pt 1 - PG-13]

[Penalties: No Warnings - Episode Rating Shift - No Penalty]

[Episode Finished! +5 of each Style Point]

[Call it a Draw! +2 of each Style Point]

[Role Focus: Drama > Flamboyance - Goal Met! +10 Focused Style Points]

[Alias - Understudy] [Archetype - Magical Girl] [Community Rank - 405/523]

[HP 4/7]

[Styles and Skills]

►Archetype Skill - Transformation Sequence

►Badass (lvl 0; 24)

►Cunning (lvl 2; 24)

► Inkling 1

►Drama (lvl 4; 84) (Skill Roll Available)

►  Hometown Heroine 1

► Bit-Part Barrage 1

►Flamboyance (lvl 3; 81) (Skill Roll Available)

►Signature Skill - Adaptive Armoire

►Stored Costumes: (Rainy Day)

►Spotlight Strike 1

►Starwave Sail 1

►Grit (lvl 2; 41)

[50 Drama Credits Used. Rolling Skill!]

[50 Flamboyance Credits Used. Rolling Skill!]

I rolled my skills, and another notification came in as the Style System’s letters spun like a slot machine. A [Casting Call]. Fursona got it, too. She glared at me—I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it. “Part Two?”

[Casting Call]

[Episode: SERIES FINALE! Absent-Hearted Professor: Pt. 2 - PG-13]

[Role: Teen Heroine! Mandatory Acceptance Required]

[Role Focus: Drama > Cunning]

◄▼►