A Little Updates ✨

We’ve finally settled into our new place, and it already feels like home — quiet, peaceful, surrounded by nature.

And the only thought I keep repeating is:

why didn’t we leave the city earlier?

The more time I spend here, the more I realise how deeply I want a completely different life — one that doesn’t depend on money, deadlines, social media, or the pressure of constantly producing something.

I keep carrying this dream inside me: to one day step out of the system society built around us and live in real connection with nature.

A small cabin somewhere in the forest, under a mountain. Growing our own vegetables. Driving to town only once in a while to buy grains.

Living slowly.

Living simply.

Living honestly.

And maybe, finally, letting my body heal.

I dream of one day buying an old, abandoned house in the Carpathian mountains and restoring it with my own hands, surrounded by forest and quiet.

I’ve mentioned this before, but it becomes clearer every day: I want to disappear from social media one day — maybe not delete anything, but leave my pages quiet, so people can still see my art.

Just showing something new from time to time, and spending the rest of my life in silence, forest, earth, and sky.

But the hardest part of this dream is exactly that: to stop depending on income.

To stop depending on the constant cycle of producing and earning.

Growing our own food feels like the only realistic path.

For now, though, we live as we live and every day we clean the forest near our home 🌳

Local authorities don’t help, the gmina refused to support us, and people walk past mountains of trash without picking up even a candy wrapper.

Everyone has opinions, but almost no one acts.

Even here, no one from my Warsaw audience came to help, despite seeing the stories.

But I grew up with this — my parents always cleaned parks in Dnipro — so maybe it’s simply part of who I am.

I edited a little Instagram reel, hoping it might motivate people or maybe catch the attention of someone from the gmina, but no miracle happened — so I’ll just share the video with you here as it is:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BrFsFuzjeh15Fiay2tZBQ-z0PjpwehSo/view?usp=drivesdk

A short health update

Some of you may have seen my Instagram stories, but I’ll write it here too.

My legs were slightly better when we moved here — and I was so happy for a moment — but now everything is worse again 🙈

As many of you know, I’ve been on pregabalin for almost five years. It’s a heavy medication, and long-term use has its consequences.

I tried to stop many times, but the physical dependence is very strong, and withdrawal is brutal.

Recently I spoke with my doctor, and she told me something I already felt:

my brain has adapted to the drug so much that it barely helps anymore.

Yes, the spasms are a bit weaker, but the pain and tension are still there.

So she’s now slowly transitioning me to lithium, and I’ve already been taking it three times a day while reducing pregabalin very gradually.

My dose was large all these years, so the process has to be slow.

But right now… honestly, it’s extremely hard.

The muscle pain is sharp and electric, like being poked with thousands of tiny needles.

A couple of days ago I could barely walk again — the same way it was in Dnipro two years ago, when I couldn’t even climb a second flight of stairs.

Anyone who has gone through something similar will understand how frightening it is.

In some patient communities I’m in, many people with similar conditions can’t walk at all during flare-ups.

It’s terrifying, and I’ve always been afraid I would end up like that.

But… we’re holding on.

Trying.

Step by step.

♥️

And something lighter…

On December 28th I’m turning 30.

psychologist asked me to make a birthday wish list just for myself — not practical things, not for the house, not for the animals, just things I want.

It was ridiculously hard, but I finally made one.

Not perfect — some things are still health-related — but it exists…🤣🙈

Let me know when you want me to share it. Maybe I’ll just attach it right away?🙈

oh my god, this is the hardest thing I've ever done, okay 🙈🤣👇🏻

https://www.thingstogetme.com/2039910aa02b2

Thank you for being here, always 💛