Hey sweet friends, How are you doing this month?
This video is a whisper ramble GRWM. Thank you all for always making this my safe space as well.....its really hard for me to let others see me when I truly don't feel good and when that's visible on my face. But knowing how loved and safe I am here makes me feel better about my appearance when I just can't hide not feeling good any longer/have the energy to cover it up. I hope you always feel the same about our safe space! I think its so important to remember that our bodies/minds are always doing their absolute best for us....I know there were heavier conversation topics in this beauty video. I also know how alone and unable I've been to communicate these things surrounding the physical changes our bodies can go through due to health issues (because I didn't know anyone else felt the same so It took me awhile to figure out how I felt.... also how its ok to mourn the loss of a body that ive been use to being in for so long). I feel so bad about not being able to gain the weight my body needs to be ok....I just feel like im looking into the mirror at some idk these days....mentally and physically. my body is so tired. every part of it. and I cant "pull it together" to make it okay again. As summer gets closer and the world is moving back into a new normal-that means leaving the house.....im feeling insecure and people already stare at my medical devices when I go out.....will people now look at me and just see a tired/sick body? Thats the truth of what they are looking at! Its okay to struggle and have all of these things wrong....its just that I guess ive always been able look "healthy" most of my 10yrs being sick, but not so much this time around. I cant quite hide it the same. Comments are already really challenging when all one can do is manage to point out how much weight ive lost. As if I need the reminder of my everyday struggle right? To be reminded of what I haven't been able to do for myself.....and that's help my mind/body. 😭 Anyway, just a moment of struggling. I'll be okay and always am. Just feels heavy sometimes ya know? I know im not alone in feeling insecure at times and Im here to remind you, you are never alone in that one, sweet friend. I love you so much beautiful.
I'm posting these videos. as fast as I can today. I'm really sick, staying at my sisters house so I'm doing my best to keep everything flowing. A phone got left at my house yesterday, so im having to improvise and re-record a beauty video(that was on that phone) to have up for you by tonight.
How are you feeling mentally and or physically? I hope you are being gentle with yourself this month and remembering just how loved you are.💕 I'm so happy you are here in our safe space! I'm so proud of you, always. I love love you!
Thank. you all for the constant and creative video requests every month! You don't realize how much that helps me plan out my monthly videos through my really challenging brain fog.
🚨Remember, I have until the last minute of the last day of the month to get all 7 videos out. I have never not come through, and will continue to post the last few videos.🚨 Whatever you are going through, babe- you aren't alone. I'm right there with you, even if our struggles look different.❤️ I see you and I hear you, always.hope you know how proud I am of you! For doing your absolute best this month and everyday. Even if that looks different from what your neighbors best this month.💖 Hope you all are staying safe, being gentle with your mind/body, and wearing yo masks!!😷 Let continue to keep ourselves and those around us safe! Don't forget to wash yo hands as well!!🧼🤲🏻🤗 I hope you are continuing to be gentle with yourself, and those around you. remember that your feelings are always valid-even if the differ from those around you! I hope you are doing some bits of self-care....no matter how big/little. I love you all so much and continue to send love, light, and a bubble of protection over you, loved ones, animals, etc. Don't forget that this space is always here for you! You'll always have community here.
Ashley
2021-05-15 04:05:14 +0000 UTCAshley
2021-05-15 03:19:25 +0000 UTC