Bat Studios

Acceptance

Added 2023-11-16 18:03:58 +0000 UTC

Soundtrack: lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird

There is no easy way for it though. Acceptance. Mom is gone. Accept? No. Well...yes. I have to. There's no other option, is there...So I have to move on one way or the other.

Define "the other": stay stuck forever in memories and feelings long past and have a semi-functional life where everything has an asterisk made of sorrow attached.

Define "one way": accept that she is gone and move on with my life. Accept death. Accept anger, sadness, despair, sorrow, tears, crying, hate...love. So much love. There is so much love I haven't given and that creates the mountain of grief that's crushing me every, single, moment.

But it's the hope that's behind it all, of a better future, expressing the love I have to the world out there, to the friends that have been next to me in these awful times, to the person I still need to meet that's waiting for me somewhere on a sunny bench reading a book...

I accept it all: the sadness, the grief. Let it wash over me again and again. And again. Until there is only love left.

You're gone. I will love you forever. But I need to move on. Watch over me, stand by my side in my time of need, show me love however you feel it's needed in my life.

I will do what you told me: to let go of it all and step into my new life.

That sunset is just a life away, isn't it?

Love you. Good bye Mom.