The Maniac of DxD (Highschool dxd insert/ semi-crack): Chapter 12

I sat on the hard floor made out of some overly dramatically named material as is normal for this pantheon of lunatics called the Chinese Pantheon, the self proclaimed strongest force in the world.

A title that they proudly claim despite not having a single being in the Top 10 list of strongest beings in the world.

If we are to go by said list, the strongest pantheon in the world would be the Hindu faction who have four gods in the top 10 list, followed by the Devils of the Biblical faction who have three Super Devils in the list.

After that, the Greek faction would follow with Hades.

The rest of the top ten are forces beyond control, such as Great Red, and Ophis.

Of course, this list keeps changing each year based on who is alive, who is dead, who is sealed away by various methods and who is a viable replacement for the empty position.

Who decides this list? I don’t know since I don’t keep up with that kind of news. The only news I am concerned with is gossip and fights.

Anyway, I sat on the floor and waited for whatever ‘punishment’ that the Jade Emperor could come up with for robbing everything not nailed down on Mount Zhu.

And I say it literally.

A few days before my adventure in Mount Zhu, I finally managed to figure out how to create subspace storage with my Touki thanks to the hundreds of training manuals on Touki that I accessed from the Grigori.

Ever since then, I’ve been having a blast storing anything and everything that I come across, including things that belong to others.

I think I let my gamer instincts get the better of me (not that I fought against this instinct, like I said before, my mind is pretty empty most of the time so my body moves on its own most of the time)

Unfortunately, by the time I was done, someone from my subscribers once again snitched to the higher-ups of the Chinese pantheon, leading to the Jade Emperor personally arriving and breaking up the fight between Zhu Long and Qiong Qi.

Then, he straight-up kidnapped me and threw me into this supernatural prison that suppressed all kinds of powers.

Well, most kinds of powers.

Once again, the tantrik spells I learned proved to be a gift that keeps giving.

I guess the Indian magics are just built different that way thanks to the kind of bullshit they have to deal with.

However, I might have to seriously start learning this particular skill tree once I am out since I only have that binding spell coconuts and a few basic hypnosis spells along with one or two ghost and evil spirit control techniques.

Suddenly, the gate to my cell opened and I saw a familiar fallen angel who looked at me disappointedly.

“…I am seriously regretting making you a member of the Grigori’s freelancers.”

“Old Man, good to see you too. Are you here to get me out of here?”

“I might, based on your answer.”

I raised an eyebrow as he held a tired expression.

“Will you stop stealing things from others and stop meddling in things that have nothing to do with you? Especially in the affairs of Ultimate-class beings?”

“No. I will not. You know that my target audience loves that kind of thing and I am nothing if not loyal to my followers.”

I grinned as Baraquiel slumped even further before motioning me to follow him out.

“This is the last time I’ll be able to break you out of such a situation. I already burned a lot of bridges with the Jade Emperor this time. He has also issued a ban on you. You are no longer welcome in China, period.”

Fuck!

This is so unfair!!

I guess the old man read my expressions since he sighed and started counting.

“Avalon, Vatican, Heaven, Underworld, Olympus, Valhalla, and now, China. Are you trying to systematically reduce the number of realms where you can roam around freely? Ren? I don’t think I’ve even heard of anyone being banned from so many realms in a single lifetime.”

“Hey! My expulsion from Valhalla, Olympus, and Heaven was unfair and you know it!!”

The flat stare he gave me did not bother me since I knew I was in the right.

“You tried to steal Thor’s hammer, successfully stole a  few dozen Sleipner cubs and released them into the wild all over the world, tried to make Gabriel fall so that you could openly flirt with her while also stealing a few hundred light-powered weapons, successfully stole Zeus’s symbol of power, and called yourself ‘The lighting thief’ a title that still circulates in Olympus and has been one of the biggest thorns in Zeus’s side for over a year now.”

Like I said, I am in the right.

If Zeus did not want his little symbol of power (which conveniently took on the form of a simple throwing spear when not in use) to be stolen, he should have taken better care of it instead of trying to show it off to me when I took on the form a beautiful woman with my illusions.

The fool even handed it over carelessly when I asked to look at it closely and then had the audacity to look dumbfounded when I transformed into my real appearance and flew away.

I mean, not even a top-level High-class being would not fall for my illusions since they are not all that powerful. It goes to show just how much that stupid god thinks with his lower half instead of his brain.

As for the issue with Sleipner cubs, I thought it was a pity that these majestic six-legged horses were confined to a single realm, not being able to utilize the speed that they are famed for, so I did them a favor and released a few dozen of those cubs and a few adults across the world which would hopefully give rise of sizable populations in the future.

And If I could steal Mjolnir while I was at it, it would have been a bonus.

Unfortunately, Thor proved to be a much more alert god than Zeus (probably because of Loki who loved to pull similar tricks as mine).

I barely escaped with my life that day.

Seriously, Thor does not beat around the bush in a fight. Even while escaping to the best of my abilities, I still ended up with a broken hand, a concussion, and severe internal damage.

Then, I broke into Heaven thanks to my contacts in the Vatican where I robbed their armory of a few hundred holy weapons.

I also met the most breathtakingly beautiful woman I had ever seen in both my lives.

Seriously, words fail to describe just how beautiful Gabriel was.

I will not deny that I might have fallen prey to lust at that moment and nearly committed a scummy deed, one that even I, in my insanity, would never approve of.

Thankfully, my tactic of trying to confuse her with words and trying to make her fall failed thanks to just how innocent and pure her thinking was.

I have never been more ashamed of myself in both my lives than when I saw her confused look at my highly inappropriate and manipulative words.

Unfortunately, her brother, Michael, was not so innocent and the rage-filled looks he sent me were more than enough for me to hightail it out of there before they could imprison me.

All in all, it was an eventful adventure, and one I am definitely not feeling guilty about, except for that incident with Gabriel.

Baraquiel glared at me as I held my proud look before muttering something.

Then, he put on a serious expression that made me frown as I got a bad premonition.

“You know what? I think you’ve been having too much fun, causing havoc across the supernatural world. I think it's about time someone reeled you in, and since I am the closest thing to a guardian that you have, I need to make sure you are kept on the straight and narrow from now on.”

“Says the guy that can’t even muster up the courage to approach his own daughter and properly talk things out.”

The baleful glare he sent me did not affect me one bit.

Even though my contacts in the Underworld were cut off, I still had other ways of extracting news from down there, especially when it concerns one of the few people in this world that I genuinely care about.

From what little I managed to find out, Akeno is living a pretty good life so far in the Gremory territory. Something that I am thankful for since she needs time away from the human world which would no doubt keep reminding her of what she had lost till now.

Baraquiel gritted his teeth before biting out his next words which stung a little but were nothing but the truth.

“You accuse me of such things, but aren’t you the same? You keep tabs on my daughter but never reveal yourself to her, knowing that she yearns to see you again.”

Like I said, his comment stung, but it is the truth. I have been keeping tabs on Akeno all this time, knowing that she cried herself to sleep most of the nights she spent on the run because of how lonely she felt.

I knew that she wished to meet me again based on how many times she had tried to reach me during her stay in the Underworld since my reputation and face are quite well known in the supernatural world.

But I never allowed that meeting to happen.

Why? I don’t know. Every time I think of meeting that naïve and kind girl that I call a friend, the only one in this life, something in my mind stops me from doing so, whispering things that I can’t comprehend.

A strange feeling engulfs my heart and makes me feel like I don’t deserve to face her.

What is the source of these emotions and thoughts? Again, I don’t know. I’ve tried many times to decipher these things, even asking the help of experts in the field of mind arts to help me.

The only replies I ever receive are weird looks and pitying stares which annoy me.

“…Touche. Anyways, enough chitchat. I’ve got places to be and contracts to look over before planning my next trip-“

Baraquiel’s hand clamped down on my shoulder as he unleashed his full power as a ten-winged fallen angel.

“You are not going anywhere. Effective from this very moment, you are officially taking a break from your work. Unofficially, you are going to school to try and learn how to be relatively normal.”

“Oh yeah!? And what’s stopping me from just running away?”

He raised and eyebrow and delivered a threat casually that directly pushed me into the pits of despair.

“If you do such a thing, I’ll have to pull strings as a representative of Grigory and ban you from ever learning anything related to Touki from any force on the planet. And before you question my reach, you should know better than anyone that the diplomatic weight of Grigori is much higher than whatever weight your name has in the supernatural community.”

Damned old crow! This guy took a direct shot at my desperation to break through the paywall on my Touki.

He is threatening to take away my chance at unleashing my inner Saiyan warrior and drowning my foes in death beams and planet cracker energy balls!

“….You will pay for this, old man. One day, I will be stronger than you, and I will make you suffer for this indignation that you forced on me.”

“We’ll see when that day comes. Now, go home and prepare. I want you in the town of Kuoh within the week.”

“Kuoh? Why there-wait a minute! You don’t mean to-“

The strange grin he held was the answer to my unspoken question.

“You are going to Kuoh Academy. I hope you have a good explanation ready for my dear daughter because she will not spare you for being out of contact for so many years.”

….Is this what you want to do? old man?

Very well, two can play this game.