Updates + Script Previews!

Hello, Patrons! It's time for another small update!

ON THE AUDIO FRONT...

I'm still editing the finale of the Loyal Bodyguard series. It is a bear. I don't know why it's like walking on my knees in broken glass trying to edit right now, the script is so good, I like all the performances, but I am just S U F F E R I N G trying to get it finished.

When it's FINALLY done, I'll be uploading two versions for you: the final installment alone, then the full series-in-one for those who want to hear the whole story.

I hope in some small way it makes up for some of the positively hellish delays on my end lately! I'm still trying to get myself sorted -- and, unfortunately, failing -- but I'm trying. And I'm doing my best to learn to let that be enough for now.

NEW PATREON EXCLUSIVE REQUEST FORM...

The new Patreon exclusive requests and suggests form is ready to go! I'll be sending a link to all patrons -- past and present -- soon, and updating the pinned post as well to reflect the new request format. But for now, you go have fun leaving ideas all willy-nilly!

SCRIPT GOODIES...

While I continue to struggle with finishing actual editing, my scriptwriting has picked up a TON recently. While my brain is dragging its feet on editing, the creativity had to go somewhere, I guess? So I'm bringing you some snippets of things that I hope to someday actually finish?!

DRAGON'S DAMSEL SERIES FINALE!

You remember these two: Ol' Roll-in-the-Hay Faye (no) and her Unfathomably Hot Dragon Captor (you!)

Well, they're FINALLY speaking to me again. (Well. Okay. Larkspur is the chattiest one right now. Which tracks.) So I've been poking at the finale ideas I had that went nowhere. The script is in the early stages yet, but it's already at 1.7k words and I'm not even out of the first scene, so I'm a little worried it's going to balloon in ways I don't expect. Like how the Mad Scientist Yandere went to 16k.

But, haha, ha, that...that would never happen twice, right?

₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎;

Anyway, here's the rough draft of the first major scene:

[EXTERIOR, FOREST, EVENING: We pick up after a small time skip from end of episode #2. Our group of intrepid heroes are traveling together. Faye is giving Dragon the silent treatment as the group sits around a campfire, and has been for awhile...]

[Thunder rumbles overhead]

FAYE: (muttering) Great. Night four of world-shattering thunderstorms. We’ll be stuck sheltering in a cave again. (under her breath) And not even a nice one this time like — meh.

(beat)

FAYE: (resentful, mostly hurt) No, I don’t want to cuddle with you to stay warm, Dragon. I’d rather go curl up with Zug if I get desperate. (muttering) And she stinks to high heaven.

ZUG: (sniff) Zug pretty ripe, true.

GERDA: I didn’t want to say anything…but. (delicate cough) Aye. Quite ripe.

LARKSPUR: (poking the fire with a stick) Like rottin' fruit and sweaty leather! But, that’s what you get, messing around with dodgy body modification potions just to get laid.

ZUG: Worth it, tho. (beat) Zug take bath. Waterfall near. You come? Zug not only one who stink.

LARKSPUR: (giggling, turning it into a cough) Zug.

GERDA: Rude.

LARKSPUR: (comedically long sniff) I’m good. Elves don’t sweat.

GERDA: I assure you as someone with experience traveling with one, they do. (ahem)

LARKSPUR: Well, I didn’t sweat much today. Got to ride the dragon! Eas-y livin’. Shoulda added one of these things to the party years ago. I mean, nobody…minds that I rode the dragon, do they?

GERDA: Dragon doesn’t seem too upset about it.

LARKSPUR: Wasn’t talkin’ about how the dragon feels...

FAYE: I don’t care what you do with any dragon. Not even this one. I might have had some… thoughts about the situation. If I were still under…contract. I may have felt entitled to first dibs on such a thing, my feet are killing me. But our traveling companion has made it clear that is no longer the case. So it’s no concern of mine.

ZUG: (conspiratorial, but very bad at it) Maybe Faye and Dragon need bath?

FAYE: Oh my God. You’re trying to get us together?! Naked?! No.

ZUG: Best way to make up. Naked. Water, splashing. Maybe wet naked thing touch other wet naked thing, Zug make Zug scarce… Hmm? Hmm?

FAYE: No thank you. I had a bath this morning. Alone.

LARKSPUR: Sound kinda upset about that… should someone have kept ya company? Washed yer back?

FAYE: (in an angry hiss) Lark.

LARKSPUR: Alright, alright, I’m just teasing. Don’t get yer bloomers in a knot.

FAYE: (concerned but pretending she isn’t) My bloomers are none of your business.

LARKSPUR: More’s the pity. You could clearly use a good—

FAYE: (exasperated sigh, cutting off the innuendo) You shouldn’t bathe with a storm on the way anyway. You’ll get struck by lightning.

ZUG: Nah. Thick hide. Lightning proof. Gerda?

GERDA: Alas! Steel plate in the shin. Not lightning proof. No one is more disappointed than I, my friend.

ZUG: Ah. Hm. Dragon come?

(beat)

ZUG: Good. Zug hate bathe alone.

FAYE: Ugh. Fine. Get fried for all I care. (muttering) Maybe lightning-crisped dragon is an alchemical reagent.

[TRANSITION SCENE TBA: Zug and Dragon go off to bathe, chit chat about Faye and Dragon’s relationship some worldbuilding, etc. They head back to camp and eavesdrop on an argument brewing...]

ZUG: Shh. Look.

FAYE: (Her voice gradually fading in as Zug and Dragon approach camp) I don’t care what you say. Listen to me and get it through those thick skulls: we are not making up. I am not making up.

LARKSPUR: Gonna hang onto those hurt feelings forever, huh?

FAYE: My feelings are not hurt. This is professional. We — the Dragon and I — made an agreement, and as a full-time adventurer, I don’t appreciate broken contracts. I entered into that agreement in good faith, fulfilled my duties to the letter, and I am understandably miffed that it was all for nothing.

LARKSPUR: Uh huh. I see. It’s not hurt feelings, just a professional grudge. Much more reasonable.

FAYE: It is. Thank you.

GERDA: If ye want my opinion--

FAYE: I don’t.

GERDA: Well, yer gettin’ it. And what you’re gettin’, is the opinion you’re acting a right numpty.

FAYE: Don’t you have an axe to polish?

GERDA: It’s a battle adz. We been over this.

FAYE: I know, I was just being a jerk. I’m…. (reluctant to admit this) grumpy.

LARKSPUR+GERDA: (simultaneously) We know.

LARKSPUR: Can’t imagine why.

FAYE: (unhappy, regretful, she’s definitely rubbing her forehead) I’m sorry, I know I’m being… (sigh) I shouldn’t take it out on you. You aren’t to blame.

GERDA: Be a bit easier if we were, I imagine.

(beat)

FAYE: Maybe.

LARKSPUR: Sure it would be! We’d get into a friend scrap, give each other black eyes, yell a bit, get it outta yer system, then we could curl up around the campfire, sing grumpy songs, have soup.

GERDA: (light, thoughtful) I could go for soup.

LARKSPUR: Well get crackin’, shorty, it ain’t gonna make itself.

GERDA: Aye. (grunting/armor sounds as she gets up)

LARKSPUR: And while you do that, I’ll get crackin’ on our friend here. Till she comes to her senses.

FAYE: I thought I was just a “work friend”?

LARKSPUR: I’m fickle. You know this. Now, (a-hem) prepare to be boarded!

FAYE: Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not going to fight you, Lar—ack!

[THUD, she’s tackled to the ground]

FAYE: Ow! Lark!

LARKSPUR: (audibly grinning, a triumphant crow!) You knew it was comin’! Elvish agility, goblin tactics! (playfully vicious) Now, say uncle. In wood elf.

FAYE: OW! You don’t even speak wood elf!

LARKSPUR: Then say, uhhhh… squish bits.

(defiant silence stretches on)

LARKSPUR: Saaaaay it.

FAYE: (very quietly) Squish bits.

LARKSPUR: Louder, couldn't hear ya.

FAYE: (disbelief) With those ears?!

LARKSPUR: Wouldja look at that, my hands seem to be movin' of their own accord. Why, they might start twistin' yer arm any second...oh, here they gooooo--

FAYE: Ack--fine! Squish bits.

LARKSPUR: Three times fast.

FAYE: Are you kidding?!

LARKSPUR: HARK, I FEEL THE LOSS OF CONTROL OF MY OWN TRAITOROUS FORM CREEPING UPON ME...

FAYE: Squish bits, squish bits, squish bits! Happy?!

LARKSPUR: Ehhh, I'm gettin' there. Now say you’ll make up with the dragon.

FAYE: No.

LARKSPUR: Ya gotta make up with the dragon!

FAYE: Why?!

LARKSPUR: Be-cause this professional-grudge-not-hurt-feelings is. Making. You. Insufferable. And I can suffer a lot! We got another couple weeks on this trip, and I’m not gonna spend it with a lovesick dope—

FAYE: I am not—

LARKSPUR: Fine. A, uh, heartsick—

FAYE: (uh uh, no, don’t you dare!) Ah!

LARKSPUR: Have it your way (under breath) ya hardheaded— (sigh) I’m not going to keep traveling with a disappointed business partner and grantless researcher what don’t resolve her interpersonal professional conflicts in a timely manner, you get me?

FAYE: (A little angry, but more sad/disappointed) I should have known.

LARKSPUR: Wha? What should ya have known?

FAYE: You don’t actually care. You’re just annoyed.

LARKSPUR: Of course I care! (beat) I’m also annoyed. So quit bein’ annoyin’, huh?

FAYE: I...

(long beat)

LARKSPUR: I will stab you in your sleep, y’know.

GERDA: She will. Did it to me last month when I was mopin’ about for bein’ homesick.

LARKSPUR: You deserved that. Who cries for three solid days just cuz I wouldn't let 'em eat poisonous mushrooms?!

GERDA: (suddenly defensive) They're nostalgic! Da raised obsidian mushrooms. (proud) Dwarven constitution can take them.

LARKSPUR: Yeah, but I can't. You get the mushroom farts. I dunno how you guys hotbox it in armor AND underground. Blech! (to Faye) Now, you. You gonna quit bein’ a pain in my elvish ass or do I gotta stab you too like what I done to toots over there?

FAYE: (heavy sigh) Alright, look. I won’t lie to you, and say everything will be hunky-dory. I can’t promise to...resolve...the issue. I do anticipate being—

LARKSPUR+GERDA: Heartbroken?

FAYE: Upset for a long time. I mean, I was promised years worth of research funding and facilities. I had gotten...comfortable with my new surroundings and...even the company. But. I suppose. For you. My...friends, or work friends, or whatever we are right this second. I’ll try to be more civil.

GERDA: Civil?

LARKSPUR: Eh. I was hopin’ for cordial, maybe even edging into the coquettish, but I guess it’ll do.

[Pots banging]

GERDA: Alright, soup’s on!

LARKSPUR: Hey! Soup! Thing’s are lookin’ up, huh, Faye? C’mon, get up. Here, I’ll help ya.

FAYE: Oh, so kind of you after flattening me.

LARKSPUR: Hey, be glad I flattened ya. Plan B was to have Gerda do it. With her armor on.

FAYE: Should I ask what plan C would have been?

LARKSPUR: I wouldn’t. I can be pretty ruthless. Speakin’ of which, hey, Gerdie? If you don’t stop steppin’ on my heels with those fat feet of yours, I’ll shorten a tendon.

GERDA: How could you...

LARKSPUR: I have my ways.

GERDA: But, I mean, logistically--

LARKSPUR: I have. My ways.

[bush rustling, Zug makes a big show of “returning” with Dragon]

ZUG: Ahh! Good bath! (utterly unconvincing, but trying to be sly) Good, long bath! Zug refreshed!

FAYE: You are a bit less rank.

LARKSPUR: Heh, yeah, fer once I couldn’t smell ya comin’. You two have fun makin’ googly eyes at each others’ naughty bits while getting’ sudsy?

[Zug laughs in a friendly way, Faye makes a stifled noise of indignation)

GERDA: (cough, stage whisper) Mayhaps don’t undo what progress ye just made there, eh?

LARKSPUR: (stage whisper) Fickle, ‘member? (Normal) So, Zug, you’re an expert on sexy bits. What is the, ah… ~situation~ with our new scaly friend here, huh? No offense intended, Dragon, I’m just curious. Y’know, cuz of the spell. I’m sure Faye would be interested in that particular line of ~scientific inquiry~. Like, me, I know what a human’s got—

GERDA: (desperate to change the subject before this explodes) Lark! Why don’t ye help me with dinner, eh?

LARKSPUR: And of course I know what a dragon’s got, I wasn’t raised in a convent or nothin’ (laughing) When my Grammy Gobble died we found a buncha those Dragon/Goblin romance scrolls in the back of her closet, y’know. Size kink and all, wink wink. Some of ‘em had pictures! But, you, Dragon, I ain’t never seen—

[Fabric/armor sounds, Larkspur gets muffled, Gerda has put her in a headlock and is trying to cover her mouth]

GERDA: (through clenched teeth) Come along, Lark. Ye can stir the pot. You’re so good at it!

LARKSPUR: (muffled but nonplussed, she’s enjoying this!) I am, ain’t I?

Yeah, okay...I can already tell I'm going to lose control of these characters. But it'll be entertaining, I hope? And if I play my cards right, a good finisher for the series. ^^;

TSUNDERE FROG PRINCESS PART 2 + PART 1 REMASTER

Another neglected storyline from the vault! This one was a sort of Patron request that mutated, and you might remember it! It's been bugging me lately, and I've got the skeleton of an outline for the...next, uh, 3 parts... with multiple charcters. Whoops.

...

Well, I am nothing if not consistent!

While I liked the original video, I'm also going to re-do it entirely with new (non-AI assisted) art. I've never been 100% satisfied with the art quality, and I want to fix it.

But, to the meat-and-potatoes of this subheading: a little script preview I've been sitting on for way too long!

[EXTERIOR, FOREST, NIGHT: Lily, the grumpy frog princess, sits beside her campfire, humming, searching her bag)

LILY: (to herself) Night mushrooms (tastes) edible enough. Not my favorite but nontoxic, I won’t starve. Rosefern roots for some flavor…(taste, chewy) ugh, awfully woody this year. Must have crossed one of the ley lines in the garden.

[bush rustle, listener approaches]

LILY: ...(sigh)

(beat)

A bit of salt. Oh, pink. Fancy. Now, do I have any pepper in here?

[bottles clinking]

No...no…

[bush rustle]

LILY: You can drop the pretense. I know you’re sneaking around out there, whoever you are. It’s cold this close to the mountains, you might as well come closer to the fire. I made one, I knew that came with the risk of being found.

(silence)

LILY: It’s a time sensitive offer, friend. You show yourself, or I’ll start firing spells into the woods. Either you’ll get cut down, or flattened by a tree I knock over, up to you.

[bush rustle, footsteps]

LILY: Ah. (clears throat) Nice...lute.

[A lute strum]

LILY: So, you...a traveling bard? Ostensibly?

...

LILY: (disbelieving) Uh...huh. Save the “unassuming, humble troubadour” routine. The light may be dim, but I’m not. And take off that ridiculous mustache. It wouldn’t fool your own mother.

[Velcro rip]

LILY: What is it, anyway, squirrel skin? Poor innocent squirrel had to die for that? Next time you need a disguise, go talk to Windspear in Bright Wood. She’ll set you up with a decent glamour for cheap, this is just pathetic.

So, you followed me. Of course you did. Some people just don’t know what’s good for them. Can’t say I’m surprised. You do seem stupid enough to follow me. But at least you did it at a distance, and you’re a day late, so that’s something. Must be a decent tracker, and you have at least an iota of common sense, if nothing else.

...

Ah—no. Knock it off with that “Princess” stuff. No ~your highness~ or any of that. Lily, just plain Lily, if you must use a name. Frog is fine, I’m used to it by now. Besides, I think I’d prefer if we weren’t on first name terms. I’ll stick with “hey you” for you, messenger, how about that?

It ain't much yet, but I at least wanted to share it.

And that about wraps things up...

If only because the script snippets have made this post SO long.

I'll be back with an audio! Eventually! Thank you, as always, for your continued patience. You'll never know how much I appreciate it right down to my bones.

xoxo,

Velvet