Being Honest For A Moment

Hello everyone, just a heads up this is going to be a long post explaining what's exactly been happening the past couple months and what will be happening in the future. 

As all of you have probably noticed, I have not been posting that many videos the past couple months. In fact, it's been even longer since I had a reliable upload schedule and I just would like to apologize for that. I feel I owe you all an explanation. I know some of you will just see this as excuses, they are not. I take full responsibility for not living up to your expectations and I do not want any sympathy. I just honestly want to explain.

Now the main reasons I haven't been able to get videos uploaded the past couple months are simply the amount of technical difficulties I've had to try and trouble shoot. I upgraded my setup and I've had to re-tweak my workflow, I'm also now having issues with my computer constantly corrupting itself. I can no longer upload any videos to Minds, and I've been trying to troubleshoot it with them. I mean what the fuck is a HAR file? 

My ISP has been absolutely shit towards me, constantly going down and support being absolute bitches. One of there workers legit came to my house to work on the lines outside and unplugged my internet, and they hung up on me after arguing with them for an hour to come fix it. Meaning even though I promised to have Amity Park uploaded Sunday, I had no internet to retrieve video files that my OS corrupted but I had backed up. (Some people said I was just making shit up last time I complained about my internet being down, if you guys want I can share images directly from the transcripts/text messages I've had with my ISP support.)

I ended up receiving multiple YouTube strikes this year and after their bot denied my appeal immediately, I had to contact YouTube support directly and get them to reinstated the videos. I also got banned from PornHub after trying to get my account verified since I need another platform since Minds isn't working.

I've not only had technical problems, I've had personal problems as well. I believe I've developed carpal tunnel, as half my hand is very numb. However, my doctor's office got hacked, so they have to rebuild their computer system and I can't see my actual physician until June. That has also led me to going without my anti depressant medication for several weeks and my mental health is awful. My doctor's office is also where I go to therapy, so I can't even talk with my therapist right now. My mother is still extremely sick, literally crying every morning begging god to stop the pain and the doctors still are not listening to us. We legit had to pay for a surgery that did not help her in the slightest.

My uncle and cousin both had to go to the hospital, my uncle for overdosing, my cousin for waking up unable to move their legs and being in extreme pain. My sister is suffering from extreme depression and I have to help her get into therapy. My best friend called me in the middle of the night talking about how they were about to jump off a bridge and kill themselves, and they are multiple states away so I just had to hear them ramble feeling absolutely powerless. Simply having to spend hours trying to talk them out of it and to convince them to get ahold of their family. Me and my mother got into a car wreck and our car was completely totaled, however, the insurance companies don't want to pay for repairs/a new car; so we are now having to email them back in forth and possibly speak with lawyers.

My life the past couple months has been literal hell and I honest to god am not doing okay. I'm so, so sorry for not uploading nearly as much as I should be. I'm sorry that I keep giving deadlines and not being able to deliver due to absolute fucking bullshit. Please know though, I'm trying to get away from all this shit so that I can focus solely on making videos. YouTube is my passion and truly the only thing I want to focus on right now. 

Now with all of the shit I'm having to deal with, I think it's best if I simplify my content a little bit. Focusing more on videos that doesn't nearly take as much editing as Amity Park or Rick and Morty (even though I will still always prioritize those 2 games.)  So the next couple videos, while I will be trying to edit Four Elements Trainer and Amity Park, will more likely be HuniePop, Nekopara, Sakura Spirit, SAO, etc. Games that are more easy for me to edit and get out to you guys, rather than ones that take hours/days longer and are more difficult with everything going on. I hope you will forgive me for that, but I want to start getting more content delivered to you guys and this is the best way for me to do that.