egathentale

Re-editing update 2: Electric Boogaloo

Added 2021-06-28 14:45:36 +0000 UTC

Hello Dear Readers!

Sorry for the radio silence, but things have been... busy as of late. Even as I write this, I'm stuck in a hospital on an errand, already in my second hour of overtime, and it'll take another hour or more to get home, and recently this kind of shit's been the norm in my life instead of the exception.

Anyhow, I'm done with the first part of the second volume, and contrary to my expectations, I had to change way less than I originally feared. That said, here are the more important tweaks, in no particular order of importance:

* I reduced Judy's general grumpiness. It's still part of her character arc, so she's still calling Leo out when necessary, but now hopefully she'll no longer come off as belligerent and needlessly catty.

* I changed the scene where Leo has a heart to heart with Josh about getting whacked over the head with a stick being discouraging. Hopefully it's now going to feel less whiny.

* I changed Rinne's speech pattern to foreshadow her being a rough amalgamation of two personalities.

* I made capitalizations and terminology/rules more consistent.

* I added a lot of contractions and reduced the overusage of certain idioms.

* I interspersed a couple more meta-talks between Leo and Judy.

* I made a looooot of small fixes, from typos to redundancies.

I'm going to give you a PDF once I get home, just like last time, and then I'll take a short break from editing and will try to churn out a full chapter this week, as we are coming up to a more action-heavy segment I couldn't wait to reach since I started on the third volume, and even I'm getting frustrated by the delay.

In other words, hopefully I'll be back with you soon. Till then, have a great day and stay safe.