The Simulacrum - Chapter 48 - Part 2 & 3

Part 2 

"I'm back," I announced my return to the living room with those half-hearted words, and I found the class rep exactly where I left her. On a slightly more interesting note, my little maidster came back while I was in the entryway, and now she was happily discussing something with her. Said discussion immediately stopped the moment a set foot within the room, with the tag-end I could barely catch being something about how someone was 'really goofy'. I guess they must have meant the recently departed Celestial, so I put it out of mind and walked over to their side.

"It's getting a little late, so let's not waste any time," I proposed the moment I stopped, earning me a small nod from Ammy, and she was just about to say something. However, just then I remembered something, so I raised an open palm to stall her before she could get started. "However, there is one last thing before that." Saying so, I turned to Snowy and unsubtly pointed at the clock. "Could you glance over there for a moment?"

She followed my pointing finger and after reading the time she turned back to me and said, "It's still before curfew."

"Yes, but you still have to pack your bag and put away your uniform don't you?"

"Uuu… That's right," she quickly relented in the face of my insistence and her shoulders drooped in resignation. "I will clean up the table."

"You don't have to; I will clean up after Ammy leaves. Just go and prepare for tomorrow. I also want to see you in bed by ten; you are still growing, so proper sleep is very important."

"Understood," my sister said with just a tinge of sulking in her voice, so I immediately stepped closer to her and placed my hand on top of her head as step one in my anti-pouting countermeasures.

"You did well today, so go and rest up, okay. You don't want to show up in school with circles under your eyes, right? What would your fans think?"

"Oww!" She hurriedly escaped from my vigorous head pats and sent me a peeved glance. "I don't want any fans!"

"I've heard you already have some though," I teased her with the appropriately brotherly grin on my face. "I was actually thinking about joining as well. What do you think, are they going to accept me?"

"Don't you dare," my sister threatened me with her angry puppy look, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her expense.

"But why not? It's my duty as a big brother to promote my cute little sister and simultaneously let the little moths know how much trouble they would be if they tried to get closer to this particular flame."

"Uuuu… You really don't have to do that though."

"Well, I could be convinced otherwise, but only by good little sisters who keep the curfew. Are you one of them?"

"You are a meanie," Snowy suddenly burst out and turned on her heel. She dashed up to the stairs, only stopping to turn back and stick out her tongue at me, earning her yet another hearty chuckle from me, before she made her way up to the first floor.

I watched her go, and once she was out of sight I let out another soft chuckle and turned to my remaining guest, and the moment our eyes met, she immediately asked a question I was pretty sure qualified for being rhetorical.

"She became a lot more expressive lately, hasn't she?" 

"She sure has," I answered as I walked over to my usual spot and took a seat. "I would personally like to take credit, but it's probably because of everyone's efforts to make her feel accepted."

"You say that now, but just a few seconds ago you were teasing her quite mercilessly," Ammy sent a verbal jab my way and, oh look, the menacing glasses-tweakery was back. I was almost missing it. Except not really.

Anyhow, I shrugged my shoulder and responded by saying, "It's every big brother's privilege, nay, duty, to tease their little sister."

There was an odd look on the class rep's face, and after a short while she let her glasses-tweaking hand down and she dryly stated, "You aren't really brother and sister though."

The moment she uttered that, the corner of my mouth involuntarily twitched twice. Once I got that under control, I took a deep breath and stated, "I say so, and if anyone else tries to dare say otherwise, they are going to be in a world of pain before they know it." I saw my conversational partner twitch in apprehension, so I hastily added, "Present company excluded, of course. For the first offense, at least."

"Very gracious of you," Ammy commented, only to ponder for a moment and add, "But what about when Noire comes back?"

"Oh, trust me, he is going to be in for a rude awakening," I answered with what in retrospect felt like a vicious grin. I quickly wiped it off my face and then loudly cleared my throat for good measure. "Not to mention, he has bigger problems at the moment, being bed-ridden after some handsome devil poisoned him and all."

"He was poisoned?" Ammy's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "And what was that about handsome devils?"

"Don't concern yourself with that," I dismissed the topic with a shake of my head. "The important bit is that he is incapacitated at the moment, and his faction has bigger problems than to come looking for trouble over here."

"How would you even know that?"

"Information-broker," I stated just a tad smugly as I pointed at myself. The class rep didn't really appreciate my answer, as she immediately rolled her eyes.

"Speaking of which, was that why Michael was here?"

Her question made me raise a single curious brow. Not because of the part where she figured out that Mike was here to exchange information (since I told her he was here for business, anyone could put two and two together, let alone her), but because they were already on first-name basis. Could there actually be some chemistry between those two? Wouldn't that break the harem? Though again, I guess I already kind of did that when I accidentally snatched the princess out of Josh's nefarious clutches, so who knew? Maybe it was open season already.

Not that it was any of my business, so after a suitably long beat of silence, I returned to the conversation at hand by stating, "Yeah, he was looking for info."

"About what?"

"It's confidential," I stated on no uncertain terms. I mean, apparently my information broker cover story ended up making me into one, so I figured it was for the best that I acted the part, at least on the surface, and I was pretty sure info-traders who tattled on their clients didn't make it far in the industry. Speaking of which, was this an industry? Did information brokers have a union? I supposed I would look into that later.

In the meantime, Ammy took my rejection fairly well, as she only spent a few seconds adjusting her glasses while glaring at me. Nevertheless, I figured we have dragged things out long enough, especially considering my previous declaration about not dragging things out, so I expertly dodged her scowl and decided to get started with the real discussion.

"So," I opened by assuming my traditional 'mastermind' pose in my seat. "You wanted to discuss something you discovered about your grandfather, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did," she told me with just a hint of huffiness in her voice.

"Then please start at the beginning."

"All right. As I said before, I noticed grandfather and Pascal discussing something at home. I think they didn't know I was home yet, since they left the door to the conference room a little ajar."

"You have a conference room?"

That was the question that slipped out of my mouth, though in retrospect there was another one I should have asked. It was naturally about why she was living with her grandfather. I actually observed her enough that the fact that I have never seen her parents became suspicious. I mean, I have yet to meet with Angie's adoptive parents in person, and somehow I never met with Josh's parents either, but I at least knew they existed through my Far Sight observations of them. As for the class rep, however, she might as well have been living all alone for all I knew. It was just a little bit suspicious, but I didn't have the opportunity to ask this time either, as the conversation moved along before I could bring it up. Oh well, there is always a next time.

"Yes, we have one for when grandfather doesn't want to take someone down to the School. It's mostly for meeting with city officials and other mundanes. More importantly, I have overheard him telling Pascal that he should contact Doctor Robatto."

"Oh? Did he actually refer to him by name?" 

"No, not directly," Ammy stated, suddenly sounding much less assured than just a second ago. "However, he talked about giving an order to their 'collaborator', and he mentioned making sure that they would confront you in particular." Suddenly the class rep's brows descended into a frown and she looked me in the eye before declaring, "That's the main reason why I wanted to talk as soon as possible. You need to be careful."

"Thanks for the warning, I suppose, though it's a little late." Her brows went a full one-eighty and ascended as high as they could in surprise, so I elaborated by saying, "Do you remember that I had plans for this evening?"

"The ones Judy was really angry about? Yes, I remember. Why?"

"Well, they involved going outside, and in the process, I was already caught in an ambush by our resident mad scientist. Oh, and before you ask, yes, I’m fine."

"I wasn't worried about you," she suddenly stated while pointedly looking away.

"I see. So you came over in a hurry to warn me about a possible ambush because you weren't worried," I teased her a little, earning me yet another frown.

"Leo, don't be a jerk. I meant I was sure you could handle yourself."

"I know, I know," I soothed her for a moment before adding, "Though again, if you wanted to warn me ahead of time, you could have just called me on the phone. At least it wouldn't have been a surprise."

"I couldn't," she asserted quite emphatically. "I was afraid grandfather would notice and then he would know I heard them talking."

"Errr… Listen to class rep. I don't want to dishearten you or anything, but I'm fairly sure he knew you overheard anyway."

"Why do you think that?" she asked in a provocative voice, and I answered, but not before I let out a small sigh.

"To put it bluntly, I have been fighting a surveillance cold war with your grandfather since even before I first met him in person, and not only your home is filled with these creepy floating eyeball-things, he also has a habit of putting them on people. Such as you."

"Eyeball thi— Do you mean recorder orbs?" All of a sudden she visibly paled and asked, "Do I have one attached to me?"

"Not anymore, you're not," I responded as I waved my finger in front of me. "I told you how I can disrupt magic, right? I tend to break any of those damn things the moment I see them, on principle."

"So grandfather knows that I came here. He most likely also knows I overheard them." Ammy fell silent in a moment, her face scrunched up as she thought hard, and then she glanced up at me and asked, "Do you think I was set up?"

"Possibly," I granted her without much ado. I mean, that was the first idea that came to my mind as well when she told me why she came over, but hearing it from her mouth made things much easier for me. As such, I donned my mastermind pose once more and added, "Let us assume for a moment that he really set things up for you to overhear him. Can you venture a guess as to why he would do that?"

"It's obviously because he wanted to leak information," she asserted without much thinking, once again mirroring my thoughts. "It might have also been a test of character, to see if I would tell you about it."

"I wouldn't call it a 'test of character' per see," I rebuffed her words while once again shaking my head for emphasis. "If I had to guess, he might have thought that there was a traitor in his organization and wanted to see if you were the one."

"You somehow made it sound even worse," she grumbled, but I only grinned at her in response, so she quickly calmed down. "Does that mean that he no longer trusts me?"

"I can hardly comment on that," I admitted freely. "We still don't have enough info on his motivations to say for sure. It might have been a test of loyalty, or just a practical joke."

"Grandfather doesn't do jokes."

"If you say so," I shrugged and moved along. "So, what else have they talked about? In particular, have they mentioned anything specific that could be traced back to that particular conversation?"

"Let me think for a moment," Ammy asked for some breathing space, and I naturally granted it to her. After about half a minute later she took a huge breath and began by saying, "As I mentioned, they talked about ambushing you in particular. Aside from that, they talked about administrative issues regarding the School, setting aside a part of the budget for a special grant, and… that's about it." She paused here for a moment, and after noticing that I wasn't exactly riveted by what she said, she added, "If there was one thing that was somewhat peculiar, it was when grandfather warned Pascal not to threaten their collaborator."

"How is that peculiar?"

Amelia gave me a flat look and emphatically stated, "Pascal is not the type to threaten anyone, so it was something that really surprised me."

"Are you sure he isn't?"

"Of course I am," she huffed quite indignantly at my question. "I have known Pascal since we were little. He is a gentle boy."

"Really know?" I mused under my breath, and after a moment of deliberation, I decided to tell her, "That 'gentle boy' just recently told Labcoat… I mean, Robatto, that he was going to break his arms if he would not play along."

"Pascal would never say that!" she denied quite vehemently, so I pushed right back.

"He sure as hell admitted it, and right in front of both your grandpa and Armband Guy."

Ammy looked like she wanted to retort again, only to instead fall silent for a good three seconds before she asked, in a deceptively quiet voice, "Leo?"

"Yes?"

"How would you even know that?"

"It's a trade se—"

"Don't say it's a secret!" she interrupted we with a genuinely angry look on her face. It was surprising, to say the least, so I decided to wisely shut up for the moment. Seeing that I didn't say anything, the class rep let out a pent up breath and in a low voice she told me, "Leo, you are holding too many secrets."

"Well, it's kind of my thing," I tried to excuse myself with a jokey tone, but she didn't have any of it.

"I'm serious. I told you before, and so I tell you again: you are being too secretive with us. Do you really mistrust us that much?"

Seeing how serious she was, I couldn't help but abandon the mastermind-pose and instead face her with the same gravitas.

"It's not about trust, really," I explained a little more awkwardly than I originally intended. "There are some things that I just can't talk about."

"Why? Can you actually give me a reason? Or at least a good enough excuse?"

"Well…" I began, only to fall silent right away. I could have given her an excuse, maybe a few little white lies or technical truths, but I had a feeling that it would be just me digging myself even deeper, so after exhaling hard I ultimately told her, "You are right. I am keeping a lot of secrets, but there are a lot of different reasons why I can't just share them with everyone."

"Do you share them with anyone at all?" she pressed on, but I had an answer ready.

"Actually, I do. Judy knows practically all my secrets already."

"What about Eleanor?" she continued her offense, and this time I was actually stumped for a moment.

"She knows… erm… some of my secrets?"

"She is your girlfriend, and even that isn't enough to confide in her?"

"I told you, it's complicated," I mumbled as I found myself on the defensive, and she didn't let me catch my breath either.

"What about Neige. You adopted her, and you are always vehement about how she is your little sister no matter what anyone says. Does that mean she knows all of your secrets?"

"Well… not really. I mean, she knows different secrets than Elly, but…" 

Seeing how disappointed Ammy looked made me feel just a tiny bit ashamed, so I soon fell silent again. Seeing that I was done, my guest let out a deep sigh and shook her head.

"Leo, you need to understand something," she began by looking me in the eye and talking in a level voice. "Neige trusts you. So does Eleanor, Angie, and Josh. So do I, even though you make it really hard sometimes."

"Thanks, I guess?"

She gave me a small nod in response, though the look in her eyes told me to stay quiet just a while longer. 

"You also have to understand something else: Trust is a two-way street, and it really looks and feels like you don't trust us at all. You don't tell us anything ahead of time, keep pulling resources and abilities out of thin air, and act like all of that is completely self-evident. I mean, you have a secret underground base full of Fauns, and it might be the most normal thing about you."

"Now, that's just a hyperbole if I've even heard one," I grumbled, but got dismissed on the spot.

"It's true. And it makes it hard to continue trusting you, especially when you keep all of us in the dark about these things right until they are convenient to be revealed. For example, if I knew you already have an informant in the School, and let's put aside how crazy that is for a moment, I wouldn't have rushed over her to try and warn you about something you already knew about ahead of time." 

I wanted to note that I didn't actually know about the ambush ahead of time, but I didn't have a good opportunity to interject, as she immediately continued.

"Things like these might not mean much to you, but by keeping us in the dark, your secrecy had and will lead to us being worried and afraid for your safety and ours. How are we supposed to work together and watch each other's backs when you can't be bothered to tell us anything ahead of time and prefer to lord over your 'secrets' instead?"

At last, there was a momentary pause in her scolding, so I exhaled sharply through my nose and began my verbal counter-offensive. 

"Very well. For the record, I want you to know that I understand your point of view and your arguments. However," I paused for a beat and raised a finger for emphasis before I continued with, "I am not keeping secrets just for the sake of keeping them. I am not even keeping them for the sake of some hackneyed reason, like protecting myself or you guys. The truth of the matter is, everything I try to keep for you is because failing to do so would lead to unexpected consequences for the entire world."

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I'm talking about reality-warping, existential-crisis inducing, literal world-shattering shenanigans."

For a moment we were both silent, with the class rep obviously scrutinizing my face to see if I was serious, and once she seemed to be convinced enough she whispered, "That's… considerably more grave than I thought."

"Tell me about it," I grumbled with a huff, then added, "It's also important to note that, even when it comes to the less cataclysmic secrets of mine, I keep them a secret because of tactical reasons."

"Tactical?" she repeated after me, brows once again arched high.

"Yes," I nodded and elaborated by telling her, "Let me give you an example: let's say I had the ability to turn Abyssals into stone by touching their heads."

"You can do that?"

"No, I said this was an example. So, let's say I could do that, and there was no way to resist that ability. Let's say Crowey showed up and demanded that I handed Snowy back to him. If I kept my ability a secret until the last second, I could simply petrify him when his guard was down, and then I could put a pointy hat on him and we would have a brand new garden gnome. However, what would happen if I didn't keep it a secret?"

"He could come up with counter-measures," she muttered under her breath, but then she continued with a stronger voice, "I understand, but it sounds like a very specific scenario."

"Of course, it was an example to illustrate a point. However, if I wanted to go with something more down to earth…" At this point I fell silent for a while as I weighed my options, and after a few long seconds of deliberation, I decided on what to say. "Since you spent so much time dressing me down, I suppose I should show you that I understood what you tried to tell me with actions. Consider this a token of goodwill, if you like." The class rep's ears immediately perked up and she looked almost comically expectant, so after taking a quick breath I stopped delaying things and simply told her, "I have an ability called Far Sight."

"Far Sight," she repeated after me, a little surprised by the looks of it. "Isn't that a high-level mystic art?"

"It might share the name, but I assure you, it's probably not the same thing. To put it bluntly, I can mark people, and after that point, I can observe them from a bird's eye view at any time I want."

"… Are you serious?"

"Perfectly."

"What are its limitations?"

"I can only watch one person at a time," I answered her, yet for some reason she started scowling at me again.

"Leo, I'm serious."

"So am I," I retorted, I little hurt by her lack of trust, especially after she went on and on about it not too long ago.

"Okay, then how much mana does it—?"

"It doesn't," I answered her question before she even finished it.

"What about the maximum range?"

"I have no idea. How far is the Abyss?"

"You can watch people in the Abyss?" 

Ammy sounded more incredulous by the second, so I nodded with the sincerest expression I could muster at the moment.

"I use it to keep tabs on Crowey, so yes, I can."

"What about the duration? Can you observe someone for more than a minute?"

"I think my record so far is about two hours." At this point she was staring daggers at me, so quickly added a supremely puzzled, "What?"

"Leo…" She began as she raised her left hand to her ear, but for a change it wasn't so that she could adjust her glasses, but to massage her temple. "Are you trying to tell me you have a surveillance ability that doesn't have either cost, range, or duration limitations?"

"More or less," I answered truthfully, and she shook her head in denial.

"That makes no sense. Every mystic phenomena, from the simplest spells to the most complex rituals, have to obey the Rule of Threefold Balance."

"Could you refresh my memory about that?" I requested with a raised hand to get her attention. "What exactly is this 'rule of balance' thing again?"

For a moment she looked at me like she thought I was teasing her, but when I showed her my sincerest puppy-eyes, she quickly relented and explained, "It's the principle that states that any mystic phenomena have three attributes. They are the cost, the duration, and the magnitude. In case of a surveillance spell, the cost usually refers to the mana required to cast or use and already deployed one, the duration is the time until the phenomenon loses its coherence and fizzles out, and the magnitude is the maximum distance at which connecting to the spell and observation is still possible. If you want to increase one attribute, you must, without fail, have to sacrifice one or both of the other attributes in the process."

"Wait, that actually sounds a little familiar," I mused as I tried to recall where I've heard something like this before, and I snapped my finger the moment it came back to me. "Oh, I know! It's the magical version of the Scope Triangle!"

"The what triangle?" Ammy muttered with a deadpan expression, apparently a little confused after I jolted her out of her groove.

"It's a thing in business and project management. The three corners of the triangle are time, cost, and quality. If you want to increase one, you have to compromise with the other two. Say, you want something done fast, it will either cost more or it will have a shoddier end product, or if you want to have high quality, you either need to give it more time or put in more money. It's pretty similar to what you described."

"Yes, but… why do you even know about something like that?"

"Well… Let's just say that the internet is a vast place, and I have poor impulse control when it comes to following links to random wiki pages." 

The class rep's expression said she still didn't understand what I was getting at, but she quickly gave up and announced, "Putting that aside, if what you say is true, then your Far Sight goes against all the known laws of mystic phenomena and should be flat out impossible."

"I suppose, and yet it's probably still the most harmless out of all of my common sense wrecking secrets," I responded with a knowing smirk. "It's also why other people wouldn't expect it, hence why it's so important to keep it under the lid."

"I suppose, but..." As she was looking for words, the class rep's expression slowly hardened, and she ultimately asked me, "I have been too surprised by its illogical nature to ask something that I should have in the beginning: Have you used that ability on me?"

"Yes, I have," I told her without an ounce of reservation.

"So you have been spying on me without my knowledge," she stated with just a hint of accusation in her otherwise level voice.

"Calling it 'spying' is a bit of an overstatement. I'm not a voyeur; I only check on you guys occasionally, to make sure you are all right."

"'You guys'? So you have marked all of us like that. How exactly is that any better than what grandfather is doing?"

"For a start, it's because I know for a fact that my intentions are benign, and I can't say the same about him." I could see it in her eyes that she was about to object, so I hastily raised my voice and amended, "Much more importantly though, the main difference is that for him, putting a magical bug on someone is something on which he consciously has to spend effort and resources, while for me, it is just something I do. It's practically involuntary, and it would probably take more effort to avoid accidentally marking someone I'm in daily contact with than to actually do it, and once it happens, it would be a waste to just ignore it. Not to mention, it has other important uses."

"Such as?"

I sent a frown her way and flatly told her, "I already shared one of my big, magic-theory shaking secrets with you. Don't be greedy."

"In retrospect, I probably don't even want to know," she relented much easier than I expected. I took that as her way of dropping the topic, so I decided to move on right away by, ironically enough, moving backward. 

"Aaaaanyway, we went on quite a tangent without even concluding how or why your grandpa would try to set you up." Ammy was only looking at me attentively, probably waiting for me to make that conclusion, so after a short while I continued with, "From what you said, it didn't seem like there was any marking information in their discussion that could be used to identify you as a leak. However, considering that you were under surveillance, there is a good chance that he wanted to know how you would react to the new information."

"And came over as soon as I could to warn you," she spoke in a dispirited voice. "So it might have been a test of character after all."

"If it was, then you have passed with flying colors by my standards, and let us be honest, that's the only standard that matters." She apparently didn't find my jest amusing, so I let out a shallow sigh and added, "Jokes aside, we should give you a plausible cover, just in case."

"For what?"

"So that if your grandfather asks about what you were doing out this late, you would have an explanation, giving you plausible deniability and hopefully preventing him from completely locking you of the loop."

"I'm listening."

I fell silent for a while as I considered the available options.

"How about this? The timeline roughly adds up, so why don't you tell him you came over in a hurry because I contacted you after being ambushed, and as the resident magical expert, I wanted to discuss the biomechanical gigant I encountered." I paused for a second as I thought it through again in search of obvious holes, and when nothing came to mind, I nodded to myself and said, "That sounds about right. What do you think?"

"If grandfather really spied on me, he will know I didn't talk with you on the phone," Ammy objected, but I dismissed her concern with a wave of my hand.

"Unless he literally kept an eye on you for the entire afternoon, he has no way to know we didn't have a few seconds long talk during one of his blind spots, and even if he did, he couldn't call you out on it without revealing that he bugged you, which he almost certainly wouldn't do. After that, you just have to take refuge in audacity and stick to your story, and will have no choice but to go along with it."

"If you say so," she ultimately granted me the benefit of the doubt, which was honestly good enough for me at the moment. However, just a moment later, she slightly tilted her head to the side and inquired, "Did you actually see one of those giants?"

"From up close."

"Can you... describe it for me? Just in case grandfather asks about them."

"... If you are curious, just say so. There is no need for excuses between friends."

Ammy gave me a long, silent look, but in the end the corners of her lips rose ever so slightly and she started, "You are right. So, are you going to tell me about them or not?"

Seeing her unrestrained curiosity in full display made me stifle a chuckle, and just like that, the storm-clouds were gone and we continued our discussion in a considerably more light-hearted atmosphere. If only all my problems could be solved by a single good talk like this...

Part 3

It was a little after midnight that I returned to my room with a damp towel over my head. I still felt a little bit sickly, but the hot shower still managed to wash away most of my fatigue, so I was feeling pretty good overall, especially considering the long day I had.

After our brief yet in-depth discussion about the big ball monsters of Labcoat Guy, I managed to convince Ammy that it was getting a little too late for any further discussions, and since I was against letting a girl (even if she was a mage with a golem for a bodyguard) wander the night streets alone, so I did the usual thing and called a cab for her.

This probably wasn't a surprise anymore, but it was the usual cab guy who showed up to take her home. Not only that, but after sharing a few words with him, it turned out that he was also the one who took Mike to the station, so yeah, apparently this man was the only taxi driver in the entire city. I wasn't even surprised anymore.

Anyhow, once the class rep left, I made sure that my sister was asleep, and then I quickly came to my room and put all the things I have learned today to electronic paper, and only after that did I take a shower.

As it often happens, the running water also managed to get my thoughts flowing, and so I quickly took a seat in front of my computer to capitalize upon the inspiration while it lasted. I moved my mouse a little to wake the machine from standby mode, but before I could get started, my attention was drawn to the exclamation mark on one of my browser tabs.

At first, I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know what it was about, but curiosity won the rug of war against caution, and I maximized the Hub's tab and clicked on the highlighted PM box.

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: HEY, ADMIN? ARE YOU ONLINE?   (￣▽￣)ノ"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: HELLO!? (・_・)ノ"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: IF YOU ARE ONLINE, ANSWER ME BACK! I HAVE A BIG LEAD! HUGE SCOOP! (≧▽≦)ノ"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: HELLO!? YOUR PROFILE SAYS YOU ARE ONLINE! WHY AREN'T YOU ONLINE WHEN YOU ARE ONLINE!? (￣～￣;)"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: IT MAKES NO SENSE!!! (＠_＠)"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: HELLO!? PLEASE ANSWER IF YOU ARE THERE! IT'S WAY LATE OVER HERE AND I SHOULD BE IN BED ALREADY, BUT I REALLY WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT I FOUND! IT'S SUPER HUGE! (✧ω✧)" 

I was getting a mild headache from just looking at that message history, and I admit that for a moment I was tempted to just close the window and be on my merry way, but I figured there was no sense in delaying the inevitable. As such, I let out a slight groan under my breath and began to type.

"Admin: I'm here."

"Admin: Also, I have already warned you about spamming, haven't I?"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: SORRY, BUT THIS IS SUPER-DUPER IMPORTANT!!! (⌒‿⌒)" 

I took a deep breath to brace myself and responded by typing:

"Admin: I'm listening."

There was no answer for a long while, but then all of a sudden my screen was flooded by messages.

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: SO LISTEN! I TOLD YOU I KNEW A GUY WHO KNEW A GAL WHO KNEW A GUY RIGHT!?  ヽ( ⌒o⌒)人(⌒-⌒ )ﾉ "

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: HE IS THIS HARD-CORE INFORMATION BROKER LIVING IN TIMAEUS, SO I WENT TO HIS PLACE AND MADE AN AWESOME DEAL WITH HIM! (･ω<)☆"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! HE HAD A TOTALLY CUTE LITTLE SISTER WHO WAS DRESSED LIKE A MAID, AND SHE WAS SUPER CUTE! LIKE, SO CUTE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE. TOO BAD HIS BROTHER IS SUPER SCARY! (((＞＜)))"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: BUT THEN I MENTIONED MY FATHER AND I MENTIONED YOU AND I WAS TOTALLY SUAVE AND ALL, LIKE A PROPER SECRET AGENT MAN, AND I CONVINCED HIM TO GIVE US SOME INFO ON THAT MONSTER HUNTER GAL YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT! (* ^ ω ^)"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I WILL WRITE A PROPER REPORT LATER, BUT HE INDEPENDENTLY CONFIRMED MY OLD SOURCE, SO YOU CAN TOTALLY BELIEVE THAT NOW!"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: HE ALSO CALLED HER A PIZZA CUTTER, BUT I DID'T REALLY GET THAT… (-_-;)・・・"

The torrent of messages stopped at this point, and as he didn't seem to be writing anything either, I guessed he might have been waiting for me to respond.

"Admin: A pizza cutter?"

"Admin: So all edge and no point?"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: YES! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID! GREAT MINDS MUST REALLY THINK ALIKE!!! \(★ω★)/"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: … I STILL DON'T GET IT THOUGH… (-_-;)・・・"

"Admin: Never mind that. Do you have anything else to report?"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: AH, RIGHT, I DO! BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HE DIDN'T ASK FOR MONEY, OR CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION, BUT ARTIFACTS!!! HE DIDN'T EVEN CARE WHAT KIND!"

"Admin: I see. Can you provide him with any?"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: ACTUALLY, I WANTED TO ASK YOU IF YOU COULD… YOU KNOW… REQUISITION SOME FOR MY USE? PRETTY PLEASE? (´-ω-`)"

"Admin: I can't. I'm not even in the same continent as you."

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: AW MAAAAAN!!"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: THAT MEANS I REALLY HAVE TO ASK MY FATHER FOR HELP… ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: WISH ME LUCK! (((＞＜)))"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: OH, SPEAKING OF LUCK!!! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT, BUT I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET THE CUTEST GIRL EVER TODAY!!! o(>ω<)o"

"Admin: Was it the sister of the information broker?"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: NOOOOO!!! SHE WAS CUTE TOO, BUT I TOLD YOU HIS BROTHER IS SCARY! I DON'T WANNA DIE YOUNG!!! (×﹏×)"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: THE ONE I MET WAS ALSO VISITING HIM, AND SHE IS CALLED AMELIA, AND SHE IS THIS SUPER-DUPER CUTE GLASSES GIRL! SHE IS HIS CLASSMATE AND THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS, AND SHE IS HYPER-SUPER-DUPER CUTE!!! (❤ω❤)"

"Admin: Yes, you already told me that she is cute, you don't have to repeat yourself so much."

"Admin: Also, just for the record: is this information broker of yours the rumored chimera slayer of Critias?"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: YUP, THAT'S HIM!!"

"Admin: I just read his files the other day. Isn't he in the second year of high school?"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: YES? SO?"

"Admin: Then correct me if I'm wrong, but if she is his classmate, isn't she about sixteen years old."

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I WOULD THINK SO, BUT I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING AT… (￣～￣;)"

"Admin: How old are you again?"

There was another short pause on the line that lasted for almost half a minute, then…

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: COME ON BOSS-MAN! I WILL BE TWENTY IN THREE MONTHS! TECHNICALLY I AM STILL A TEENAGER! (＃`Д´)"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: ALSO, IT'S JUST THREE YEARS!! IT'S NOTHING AT ALL!!"

It seemed like this approach didn't really achieve the desired effect, so I decided on a more circumspect yet hopefully more effective one one.

"Admin: So this girl is part of the chimera slayer's social circle, right?"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I'M PRETTY SURE SHE IS. WHY? (￢_￢)"

"Admin: Give me a second to look up something…"

After typing that, I fiddled with my thumbs for a minute or two while pretending to be browsing the database entries, and after I figured I had him wait long enough, I wrote:

"Admin: I found it."

"Admin: Leonard Dunning's closest circle includes Joshua Bernstein, Judy Sennoma, Eleanor Dracis, Angeline Dionne, and, most importantly, Amelia Rhearn, the granddaughter of Lord Amadeus Endymonion of Critias."

"Admin: What did you say, what was your crush called again?"

There was radio silence for several seconds, and then…

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: BOSS, I THINK I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW AND THINK ABOUT THE MEANING OF LIFE. BYE. ( ╥ω╥ )"

And with that, he disconnected from the server. When he did that, I couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh. I mean, I had nothing against the guy, and he had been pretty helpful on the Hub, but him getting involved in the harem shenanigans sounded way too tiresome not to nip the possibility in the bud. One day he would thank me. Or maybe not.

Anyhow, now that I finally got that sorted out, I let out a pent up breath, limbered up my fingers, and got ready to put to paper those shower-insights… except I found that dealing with Mike made me forget practically all of them. 

"Well, damn," I whispered under my breath, and after some pondering, I decided to forget about the whole idea and just watch a video podcast where four guys talked about hilarious, dumb, or hilariously dumb product reviews on the internet.

It was pretty much as brainless as entertainment went, but considering I was incapable of sleeping, I figured it was the second-best thing.