Cycle 1 : Idol

“Good afternoon, children!” Mrs. Elizabeth entered the class.

“Good afternoon, teacher.” We greeted with a melodious tone, sounding like a well-rehearsed song, harmonizing in unison like a professional choir.

“Okay, today, I’m going to talk about aspirations. What do you think your aspirations are? Do you want to be a pilot? Singer? Artist? Contractor?” Mrs. Elisabeth asked.

“What’s a contractor, Miss?” Henry, a child from the urbanized village, inquired.

“Don’t you know? It’s when someone likes to rent or contract houses; they’re called contractors,” Shella said with her innocent face.

“HAHAHA!” The entire class burst into laughter, some even teasing Shella for her innocence.

“Where did you hear that, Shell?” I asked her, smiling, trying my best not to make fun of her.

“My neighbor always contracts a house even though he is rich, and my dad often called him a contractor because of that.”

“HAHAHAHA!!” Laughter once again filled the classroom.

“Okay, settle down, children!” Mrs. Elisabeth’s voice was drowned out by the playful banter of the kids who found new material for their jokes. “I’ll count to three. If it’s not quiet, there will be consequences. One, two, th...” Quickly, the entire class fell silent, not a sound to be heard. This was one of Mrs. Elisabeth’s traits—she couldn’t get angry. She was an exceptionally kind teacher, and I respected her for her ability to calm the children with just a glance.

“A contractor isn’t someone who likes to rent houses, Shella. A contractor is someone who builds houses. Not just houses; bridges, buildings, and roads, they are all made by contractors,” Mrs. Elisabeth explained again with a smile.

“Okay, so what are your aspirations?” she continued.

“Doctor!” “Entrepreneur!” “Accountant!” “Pilot!” “Gamer!” “Youtuber!” All the voices echoed, indicating the children’s enthusiasm as they expressed their individual dreams.

“Okay, calm down, everyone. I will distribute dream leaflets. Now, on this paper, write down your aspirations. If you don’t understand the names of your aspirations, like, what does someone do in a workshop fixing other people’s motorcycles or what does someone do flying a plane and serving food to airplane passengers, you can ask me, okay?”

The papers were handed out. A4 sheets with a black border, photocopied, with the large title “WHAT IS YOUR DREAM.”

“Don’t forget to write down why you chose that dream; don’t be lazy. the whole page should be filled!” Mrs. Elisabeth said with a stern expression. However, a smile crept up on her face soon after, proving that she was not really angry.

“Miss, nooo!” The kids groaned, expressing their dissatisfaction with audible moans of frustration.

“Do not complain. Start writing now!” With a faint sigh, the children began to jot down their dreams. Some kids stepped forward and asked Mrs. Elisabeth for details about their dreams.

As for my aspiration, I wanted to be a singer, but if I think about it, isn’t that a bit wasteful? My math grades are good, and my science grades are decent. Why should I study hard if I’m just going to be a singer?

"Still blank, Lilika?"

“Yeah, it’s hard,” I complained.

“Why is it hard? You’re smart! You can be anything you want!” Shella quipped from beside me.

“Because she’s smart, she’s confused about where to go. Especially when her social studies and science grades are equally excellent. I’m also confused about where to go. Being a doctor is an option, and so is being a contractor, or maybe a scientist?” Elin commented while tilting her head. I could imagine her working all those jobs in the future. I wonder what she would choose?

“You should be a math professor, Elin. Your math score average was 99 last year. Add a bit of humanity, why don’t you?” Shella suggested.

“Yeah, true. Just during that exam. I missed one line even though the answer was correct, but because of that, my score dropped to 95! Even though my other scores are perfect 100. Mrs. Siska is really tough.” Elin vented her frustration to my strict math teacher. It had been seven months since that exam. Relentlessly, Elin recounted the incident, followed by the taunts from other kids telling her to be grateful for the grade she got, and so on.

“Cease the chatter. Write first; only when you finish, may you chat with others.” Once again, our pretend-strict teacher calmed the class. “So, where are you confused, Lily?”

“Hmm, I initially wanted to be an idol, but throwing away my study for it seems like a waste.”

“Oh, I see. Then what else do you want besides being an idol?”

“What else? Ah, my dad is an entrepreneur. I want to be like him.”

“Why? Lili? those jobs aren’t related to each other!” Shella suddenly commented.

“Just stay quiet; you’ve been commenting nonstop since earlier!” I replied.

“What else?” asked Mrs. Elisabeth.

“Being a doctor sounds interesting too. Their white coats looked cool. It looked like a scientist. I also wanted to be a scientist. Flight attendant or pilot is fine too. You get to fly to various countries. A contractor can build houses; I wish to build my own home. 

“Perhaps a technician, creating machines. If I become president—no, that might be too ambitious—so maybe just a minister. It’s nearly the same. Accountant sounds interesting too; I enjoy doing calculations. When I see my mom handling the financial statements of a company, it just looks cool. Being a musician is also fine; fortunately, I can play the violin and piano. Architect, interior designer, computer graphics. I also like drawing. How about it, Mrs. Elizabeth?” My response was in shambles. I have no clear idea of what I aspire to be.

“What do you desire most right now?”

“Singer and idol,” I replied flatly and quickly. I was surprised by how fast I answered. The answer came from the heart, abandoning all reason and logic. There was no reason for me to aim to be an idol when I could become a contractor or doctor.

“All right. Just write that you want to be a singer. Then give your reason. What’s the reason? Because you want to get rich quickly, want to be famous, or what?” Mrs. Elisabeth said.

“I enjoy singing at the church. Many teachers praise me for it. Besides, I also love watching top idols dance and sing. They can strike poses on stage with dancers, and their clothes are gorgeous. Sometimes, there are fireworks and flames around the stage, and the lighting is also amazing. I want to be in the center of that stage.”

“Alright, just write all of that down. It will be collected later.”

“But then, what’s the point of studying?”

“Are those famous artists all ignorant? No, right? So, you must also be a diligent student. Don’t be lazy!” After that, Mrs. Elizabeth went to attend to other students standing behind her, waiting to ask questions.

“Pssst! Hey.” Someone called me. I turned to find the source of the voice.

“Are you calling Shel?”

“Nah. Must be your imagination.”

“Hey!” Suddenly, a girl appeared in front of me.

BANG! I fell off my chair in surprise. The silent atmosphere shattered instantly with the laughter of the kids echoing throughout the class. Once again, Mrs. Elizabeth used her pretend-strict technique to calm the class, and the atmosphere subsided, although many kids still held back their laughter due to this embarrassing incident.

I sat observing my surroundings. No one commented on the little girl in a black dress floating in front of me, with a scythe larger than her body serving as a seat. What’s even stranger is that her right eye resembles a red glowing clock while her left eye is blue.

"Don't worry, Lilika. No one sees you except me.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m Rara. I am the devil of time.”

“Hah, devil? You don’t look like it. You are way too cute,” I commented, and it was true. From her appearance, she looked like a little girl dressed as a devil in an amusement park. It’s not scary at all. In fact, very cute. If displayed, many people would probably want to take a photo with her, thinking she’s a child celebrity. But considering she could float in the air, I had to believe that she was a supernatural being.

“Heh, I’m a pro, you know. I’m a high-level devil. I don’t need to intimidate people with red-muscled bodies and horns.”

“Yeah, yeah. So what do you want?” I asked bluntly. Uncaring of her attitude.

“I want to offer a contract.”

“Refused. Go away.”

“You haven’t even heard the terms of the contract.”

“It’s common on TV. Probably like this, right? You offer three wishes like the genie in Aladdin, and in return, my soul goes to hell. Am I correct?”

“Oh, I can’t do that kind of thing.”

“Lame. Then what can you do?”

“I’m the devil of time. Look at my right eye.” Her right eye wasn’t a normal eye with a white background and a black pupil in the center. Instead, it had a reddish color with a clock shadow inside. Moreover, the clock’s hand was moving inside her eye. It was creepy when you looked closely at it.

“And then? What do you offer?”

“Do you want to create a save point? It’s free.”

“A save point?”

“Yes, so if anything happens in the future, you can start over.”

“And what’s the catch?”

“None. I’m not asking for anything in return. I just got promoted, so I want to share some blessings. Also, test out my new powers. That’s all.”

“Lies,” I said with an incredulous tone.

“I swear. finger crossed.”

“If it’s a lie?”

“Struck by lightning, turned into toast, whatever. I don’t lie.”

“So, what’s the deal? There must be some catch in the end.”

“No. I’ve said it. There are no strings attached. You may use it, or you may not. So, here’s the deal. I have this pocket watch.” She then revealed a watch from her pocket. A golden pocket watch that was commonly seen in Hollywood movies in the eighties.

CLICK! She opened it. “Now, look at the watch. The design is ordinary, but notice the numbers above number 6.”

“Weird. There are two lines with the date 27 July 2005. Why are there two lines?”

“Well, the one at the top will show the current date. The one at the bottom won’t change. That’s your save point. Then, if you press the button on the right side here, the date above will reset to 27 July 2005. So, you’ll go back in time to today.”

“Ohh. And then?”

“Well, that’s it. Now, this watch is for you.”

“Nothing else?”

“Nothing. I just want to help you. You’re confused about your aspirations, right? With this watch, you can retry if you fail in your chosen aspirations. That way, you can try out all the dreams you’ve ever had, right? Oh, by the way, did I mention? The date at the bottom can’t be changed because your save point is only today. But you can use it anytime, whether it’s 10 years later, 20 years later, 50 years later, even when you’re a grandma. And you can use it anywhere. In America, Japan, even on the moon. Anyway, you can always retry or go back to today.”

“Any usage limit?”

“None. You can use it as many times as you want.”

“Are you sure you’re not asking for anything in return?”

“I swear to God. You saw the contract yourself, right? You’re the one benefiting from everything, aren’t you? I just want to help, that’s all. Also, to be a spectator and commentator. I am quite interested in seeing your life,” she smiled sweetly.

“And what if you kidnap me? or violate the contract.”

“I can’t do that. All humans are protected by God. Unless the person willingly goes to hell or dies because of their sins, they can’t be forcibly taken. That’s why, in the past, many devils made requests in exchange for human lives.” Rara said with a slightly annoyed expression. “Well then, I’ll go now. If anything happens, just call my name.”

A strange devil. Others usually offer requests in exchange for souls; why is she doing it for free? Kidnapping is impossible. And if you look at the contract, there’s no issue.

“Wait a minute. I haven’t agreed yet.”

“Oh, actually, this isn’t a contract. It’s a gift. Whether you use it or not is up to you. Just use it as you like. Bye.” she waved at me before disappearing into shadows.

“Okay, kids. Just 5 more minutes. Hurry and finish your papers.”

Idol

My dream is to become an idol. An idol can perform on grand stages, accompanied by music and applause from the audience, singing pop songs with outstanding choreography. My goal is to bring the joy of singing to every corner of the earth.

After becoming a famous singer, I will automatically become an actress. The life of a successful actress includes a salary in the tens of millions, fame everywhere, and the ability to wear a variety of costumes. I may even get into films, and if successful, perhaps even Hollywood.

I also aspire to be featured in magazines. My photos will challenge the fashion trends in the world. At home, I might wear a T-shirt with shorts, while outside, I’ll wear a white shirt with a black skirt. On stage, I’ll wear sparkling outfits with beads. Traditional attire might also look good. Imagine if batik could be turned into a dress, and I could dance and sing while wearing such dresses. Such joy.

I believe my singing is already good, but I plan to participate more enthusiastically in choir activities. After graduating, I will attend vocal school. Then, I’ll audition. If I don’t pass, I’ll keep practicing and try again until I succeed. Once I graduate, I’ll make my debut. As for the lyrics, maybe someone will write them for me, or I’ll create them myself.

What songs will I sing? I like pop songs. I don’t want to be too picky. As long as the music is good, I’ll sing it with all my heart. I love music anyway. My dream is to sing every good music this world ever has. An idol is not enough with just a good voice. I needed to accompany it with extraordinary dance movements, which were quickly followed by the rhythmic applause of the beat. Or should I go with a cute style? Like duck or cat dance. I will ponder about it when I get there.

As an actress, I will surely have a handsome boyfriend. Eventually, he will also be wealthy, successful, a businessman with a wardrobe worth tens of millions. Later, we’ll have two children: one boy and one girl. I’m confident my children will be as bright as their mother, and I also want to live a long life to see my adorable grandchildren. If I have two children, that means I’ll have four grandchildren. Two from the boys and two more from the girls. It would be a joy to see.

I handed over that paper to Mrs. Elizabeth, and three seconds later, the bell rang for the lesson’s dismissal, and I went home with enthusiasm.

-------------------------8 Years Later--------------------

“All right, brothers and sisters, welcome back to our program, LIFE ON what?” The presenter’s voice resonated with enthusiasm while simultaneously giving a clue to the audience in the studio.

“LIFE ON CHATTERBOX!” The voices of the audience on stage, which, of course, had been directed to say this week after week.

“All right, today we have a guest star who has recently become famous. What’s her name?”

“Maria Lilika!” Once again, the audience’s voice, which this time was a bit chaotic because they were not accustomed to saying this in unison, although there was a coordinator in a black outfit instructing them.

“Please come in!” The presenter’s clue came, and people in black uniforms signaled me to enter the studio room with a sofa and a large monitor that bore the name of the animated program.

“All right. Miss Lily, let me introduce myself. My name is Eki Satria. Just call me Uncle Eki.”

“Thank you.”

“So, here’s the thing. How did Miss Lily, who now holds the title of Princess Lily on Facebook, become a top celebrity? Especially considering your young age. She’s only in her twenties now, right?” The presenter posed the question, accompanied by his characteristic body language.

“Ahaha. That’s not very nice to mention my age.” I put a playful banter before continuing, “Well, I’ve always loved music from the start. Since elementary school, I enjoyed being part of the choir, and in junior high, I was even asked to sing solo. Then, at the age of 15, after graduating from junior high, I joined a vocal school. Three years later, I graduated from that school and participated in an audition happening in Jakarta. Thankfully, I was accepted, and on the stage of ‘Indonesia Got Talent,’ I became the first champion.”

“Wow, that’s truly impressive, my friends.” The presenter applauded in admiration, with the audience following suit, guided by the coordinator to clap and liven up the atmosphere.

“Now, what motivates you to keep going? Earlier, I heard that you’ve pretty much set your mind on venturing into the music world as a singer. What motivates you to pursue a career in the music industry? And since when did the desire to enter the world of music exist in your mind, Ms. Lily?”

“The story I remember the most goes back to when I was in the 5th grade of elementary school. At that time, my guidance counselor asked, ‘What’s your dream?’ I had numerous aspirations at that time, ranging from becoming a doctor to a businessman. Then my teacher asked again, ‘What’s the dream you desire the most?’ Since then, I have chosen to become a singer. From that point onward, I’ve been striving continuously to achieve my dream.”

“Extraordinary. Such steadfast determination, my friends. And that’s not all. Miss Lily here, has consistently ranked in the top 10 throughout her school years. She had some good head in addition to her voice. Such a multitalented individual. Moreover, she became a prima donna in her vocal class, showcasing her talent from a young age.” Once again, the presenter gave an exaggerated round of applause, joined by the audience.

“Alright, there’s still so much more I’d like to ask Miss Lily about—her profile, her love life, and the nervousness she experienced during her first performance. Unfortunately, time has a different plan. Our show must conclude. That annoying timekeeper has been keeping tabs on us. That concludes our program, brother and sister. See you again next week on ‘LIFE ON’ what?”

“LIFE ON CHATTERBOX!!” The audience screamed in excitement.

----------------------------------------------------

“Congratulations! Woo-hoo, you’ve made it!” Shella and Elin offered their congratulations with a clink of red wine glasses in a 5-star restaurant. “Let’s toast.”

“Hey, what about you? Succeeded in becoming a doctor?” 

“Not yet. Becoming a doctor isn’t as quick as your success. I need to graduate from middle school, go to high school, and then spend five years in college.”

“But you’re a genius, Elin,” Shella teased.

“Even geniuses have limits. Despite accelerating through middle and high school and entering a prestigious university at 16, I still have to spend five years in college.”

“Five years in college?” I exclaimed.

“If I can catch up with my thesis, maybe it’ll be around 4.5 years. But that’s just to become a general practitioner. If I want a practice license, I have to work for another 5 years. And even then, being just a general practitioner doesn’t feel enough for me. I’m aiming for a neurosurgery specialization. Add another 5 years. It might take me 10 more years to truly succeed.”

“Wow, congratulations on your ambitious path,” Shella said. We frowned as we imagined having to study for another ten years full of math and science.

“Let’s wait until I succeed.”

“How about you, Shella?”

“Well, I’m majoring in accounting. I also work part-time as a night cashier at supermarkets.”

“Already earning some money,” I commented. “While still studying.”

“No need to tease, especially by someone who earns a million dollars per performance.”

“Still different, I’ve become a career woman. You’re still studying. Later, when you become a career woman, you’ll surely reach a greater height than now. Any career plans?”

“Well, in this company or that company. Whatever, if possible, I’d like to be an accountant in taxation. The salary is pretty good.”

“Oh, let me introduce my boyfriend, Hendra. He’s the son of one of the investors in Gourmet Delights Co. Do you have a boyfriend already?” I proudly showed his photo on my smartphone.

“Not yet,” Elin said, pouting. “There’s one guy I have a crush on, but no progress yet.”

“Oh, poor thing. You study too much. You need to get away from books and start to look for a boyfriend. It’s important.” Shella teased, pleased with herself.

“Don’t talk too much. It’s not like you already have a boyfriend, Shella.”

“I do. Here’s his photo.” Not to be outdone, Shella proudly showed her photo with a guy.

“Hey, I think I know him,” I said. My mind wandered back to our elementary school days, and a particular face emerged.

“Yeah, his name is Henri. We went to the same elementary school.”

“Henri? The guy that looked like he came from a farming village? Why date him, Shella? There must be better guys. It’s like dating a rustic guy,” I said, shocked. Back in elementary school, his face showed potential, but he was outdated. He couldn’t even make phone calls with a smartphone. His skill with the phone looked like my grandpa. Moreover, he often embarrassed himself in class.

“Hey, hey, he’s not a rustic guy anymore, you know. He inherited an oil palm plantation from his grandfather. Now, he’s a successful oil palm CEO. He’s just waiting to graduate with a marketing management degree. Well, He is certainly not as successful as the kid from Gourmet Delights Co.,” Shella emphasized the words “Gourmet Delights Co.” clearly taking a dig at me.

“Anyway, we’ve moved forward. Congratulations to all of us. Hopefully, we can keep meeting like this, friends.”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Absolutely.”

-----------------------2 Years Later---------------------------

“Honey, it’s our third anniversary already. When are we getting married?” Hendra teased me in the city park where we usually spent time together.

“In 4 months if the preparation is finished in time. I have a concert to attend. This was part of your fault. When you proposed last year, you said it would be in 6 months,” I replied.

“Yeah, but I want to be prepared,” he said. “And then, you have that world-circling concert to attend. The time seemed never to match.”

“Sorry, I can’t help much preparing for our wedding. In two months, there’s a major concert at Gelora Bung Karno Stadium. It’s the opening ceremony for the SEA Games. The stage was enormous, accommodating 20,000-30,000 spectators. All equipment is set up from the United States, and top officials from the country will attend. The budget for the event is around 50 million dollars. I can’t afford to make any mistakes. More than 50 television stations will be recording the entire event.”

“I understand, dear. It’s a crucial event, and only 20 bands are invited. You should be proud. One band, one song,” Hendri reassured me.

“Yeah, the rehearsals are intense, 12 hours a day. So, sorry, but from now on, we might not meet as often.”

---------------------------

“Lili! You’re 3 minutes late! I understand you’re a prominent artist, but this show involves the dignity of our nation. We’re being watched by the global community. You need to be more disciplined.”

“Sorry, sir.”

“Well, you’re still better off. The other 5 performers haven’t arrived yet, and we’re already past the 10-minute mark. They’ll be fined. Now, go straight to rehearsals,” said Mr. Marcus, the choreographer of this event, with frustration. I could feel the tension in his voice. This was a crucial event watched by at least a tenth of the world. He bet his entire career on this.

Days passed with continuous dance rehearsals. I only had one routine, lasting less than 2 minutes, but if I counted, I had repeated this routine more than 200 times. Let’s try to measure it. If I practiced 8 hours a day without breaks, 5 days a week (as Saturdays and Sundays were holidays), I would have this contract for 10 working days now, and I still had a month to go. If, during an hour, I repeated the routine 2-3 times, then I had done this routine for 240-360 times! With over two thousand more in the next month.o thousand 

Around 5-7 artists had already chosen to leave early, facing fines due to their hectic schedules and claiming the rehearsals were excessively tedious. It was indeed monotonous. Repeating improvised moves to our own theme song over and over again. Moreover, my performance was scheduled for the closing day. If I calculated, I still had more than 40 days left. With rehearsals like these, it seemed like I could do it in my sleep. Even the basic exercises like vocal warm-ups with ’a, i, u, e, o’ continued endlessly. Honestly, even if I went home and returned 20 days later, I was confident I could still pull off the concert successfully. However, that wasn’t the right approach; bypassing rehearsals was not good, no matter how tedious they seemed. Despite the monotony, the coach was experienced and had trained several other famous artists. I could see his high skill level, and he taught us with dedication.

Many days later, just three days before the event. Rehearsals, initially scheduled for 12 hours, were extended to 14 hours. However, the actual practice time decreased as we were required to practice with our costumes in these final days of training. These dress rehearsals require lengthy preparations. The dress was one of my favorites but was tedious to wear, especially the high heels. It was unstable, but it accentuated my slim body. Due to the time needed for all participants to wear the costumes for the rehearsals, we only had around 4-5 rehearsals a day. In between rehearsals, much of our time was spent scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, or playing smartphone games. What was once tiring had become incredibly dull. Mr. Marcus, on the other hand, was getting busier as he turned his attention to the stage designer, technician, and other crew. The stage was made in a rush as this place was only rented three days before the event because the producer wanted to reduce costs. In fact, when we practiced, the stage inside the stadium was still being built.

The SEA Games 2017 had begun. Today would be an unforgettable day in my life. The stage I had dreamed of would arrive in a few days. A stage illuminated with special effects, fireworks, and spotlights. A stage filled with countless spectators. Even though it was just one song, possibly not getting much attention, this was my dream – singing on stage.

As I sang, an accident happened.

----------------- 2 weeks later ----------------------

BEEP BEEP! The sound of the electrocardiogram machine indicates someone’s heartbeat. My heartbeat. In this hospital, after being in a coma for 2 days, I finally regained consciousness. I’ve been here for more than a week now, with my entire head wrapped in bandages.

“Lily. How are you, dear?” My mother, who is also my manager, comes to visit every day. I can only remain silent in response to anything she says, not just because the bandages cover my mouth, but also due to the shock of the incident that befell me. The high heels I wore during the performance broke, causing me to fall on the stage and collide with one of the stage props – fireworks and pyrotechnics intended to liven up the event. Due to the crash, the prop turned on unintentionally.

The news about the famous artist Maria Lilika, who had an accident during a stage performance, continues to be broadcast on all television stations I know. A grand concert ended tragically. There’s an insurance coverage of more than 3 million prepared, but it seems I won’t return to the stage again. My face was hit by sparks from the explosive materials used as special effects on the stage. I can already imagine how my face will look in the future.

“Nurse, you can now remove the bandages.” Dr. Thomas said, one of the doctors my mother knows who works at this Emporium Hospital.

Slowly, the nurse unwrapped the bandages that covered my face and then my hands. I see burn marks on my wrist. As if intended by God, there is a hand mirror on the table next to the fruits brought by my friends. I can only glance at the mirror, but I dare not pick it up. Fear overwhelms me more than curiosity about my appearance. My mother looks at me and then glances in the same direction, at the mirror I peeked into. It seems she understands what I want, but she also surely understands what I fear. She takes the mirror and places it, covered, on my lap.

“I’m going home now, dear. Be strong, sweetheart. Whatever happens, Mom will always be there for you.” My mother says after looking at her watch. Her words feel like a stab in the heart. They’re not words of concern but words of pity. My mother must now see me as a disabled person. Someone who always needs company and attention.

With tears streaming down my face, I finally turn the mirror around, and the reflection of a face I partially recognize appears. Partially because about 40% of the left side of my face is replaced by terrifying burn scars.

CRASH! I smashed the mirror that showed the face of a monster with all my might. What is my future now? Becoming a horror movie star? With a face like this, I certainly won’t even need makeup anymore. I’ll quickly be known as Lily, the monster.

I laugh while crying, thinking about the unfunny joke. The ringing of my cell phone makes me glance back at the table with fruits. It’s a message from Hendra, my boyfriend.

“Sorry, I apologize. But it seems our marriage has to be canceled. My parents strongly rejected our marriage. Again, I’m sorry, dear, but it seems our relationship ends here.” The cruel message was written. Was this the end of our relationship?

“Hendra! What do you mean?!” I immediately call him with an emotional tone.

“Well, Lily, my parents disagree with us getting married. They say you’ll tarnish the company’s image.”

“We’ve been dating for 3 years! Just 2 months left.” I cried. “Are you that ashamed to have an ugly wife? It was an accident! It was not my fault!”

“Sorry, dear. But my parents have high social standards. They say an actress whose career is over like you is unsuitable to be my wife.”

“Oppose your parents. We can elope.”

“Again, sorry, dear. Our relationship ends here.” 

He ended the call with such a cold tone. Once again, sobs fill the silent hospital room. Only the ticking of the wall clock and my cries can be heard. I am done for. There is nothing left. My dream is finished.

“The clock?” I’m briefly reminded of something. Something imprinted in my memory, something that had faded over 12 years of hard work as an actress.

“Ra...ra?” I repeat a name. The name of someone not unfamiliar to me but likely unfamiliar to others.

My sobbing stops. Now, only the ticking of the clock fills the emptiness of the room. I remembered. Back then, when I was in 6th grade, I made an agreement. No, not a deal, but someone or something named Rara gave me a pocket watch. Yes, the devil Rara. She said she was a devil of time, and she gave me a pocket watch. A pocket watch that could turn back time. A pocket watch that could erase all of this nightmare.

I racked my brain. Where did I keep that pocket watch? My thoughts race to my old home, the house I lived in during 6th grade. A large but not luxurious place where, at that time, there were only my parents and one maid. No, I’m sure I brought that watch to my current home when we moved. It should be inside my study desk, now stored in the store room.

Hope began to return to me as I reminisced about that pocket watch. For almost a week until I was discharged from the hospital, my mind was focused on that watch.

------------------------1 week later---------------------------

Finally, I was allowed to go home. After a week of lying in the hospital, the doctor finally permitted me to leave. None of my friends visited me while I was in the hospital except Shella and Elin. When they realized I was of no use to them, they all left me.

Fake friends, I thought to myself. No need to dwell on unimportant matters; I must focus on finding that pocket watch. The study desk I used throughout school looked very forlorn. After helping me for so long in my studies, it was left behind in this empty and desolate storage room.

“There it is!” The watch was in my study desk drawer in the storage room. I opened the watch, and the numbers on the inscription were still the same as Rara had instructed me all those years ago. The clock showed the current time, still functioning well, with two lines above the number 6 indicating today’s date, 20 April 2019, and the line below, 27 July 2005, still unchanged from before. If I press the button below, I will be able to relive my life back then.

“Hey!” a voice called me from behind.

“Who is it?” I turned to face a girl still in her black dress with a scythe and crow wings spread on her back.

“You forgot the person who gave you that watch?”

“Rara?” Apparently, she hadn’t changed at all. She hasn’t aged a bit since the last time I saw her.

“Yes.”

“You’re still the same as before.”

“I can’t age. So, my face will always be like this. So, do you want to repeat and discard the 14 years you’ve been through?”

“Couldn’t you change it to just several weeks ago? If I had been more careful, that accident wouldn’t have happened. I didn’t want to waste 14 years of hard work.”

“Sorry, but the contract said you can only return back to 14 years ago because that’s when you saved your save point.”

14 years of hard work becoming an actress, and all of it gone due to a simple, silly mistake. It’s a pity if I have to discard all my efforts during that time. But this is the only way. I don’t deserve to be a singer. I will choose another dream.

“So, you no longer wanted to be an idol? You can certainly try for another shot at becoming an idol, you know?”

“See for yourself how my face is now. All of my hard work was gone in a flash. Being an idol was a silly dream.”

“True. I’m sorry. I hope you succeed in your other dreams.” she said, smiling, giving encouragement.

Finally, I pressed the button. The world around me changed, and I was thrown into a world with various clocks flying around.

“W-what is this?” fear crept out from me as I questioned the devil. Was she lying after all? Was she trying to take me to hell?

“Be patient. In just a moment, you will return to 27 July 2005.” She smiled. “I do not lie.”

The world became bright with blinding light.