It's the Little Choices - Ch. 1 (Commission)

(Thanks to our lovely patron Wang Fire for commissioning this one!)

Fiona's such a sweetheart. She really is.

I'm watching her steadily from my seat here at our dining room table. It's so cute to see how absorbed she is in that game of hers - so absorbed, in fact, that nothing I do or say right now is going to make her blink. I do adore watching that auburn head of hers bent forward, so intent on gathering those virtual berries and fish and sticks of hers. She never says much, of course, but that subtle, unconscious smile of hers I catch in the window's reflection speaks volumes. She loves it so much when she can have a little gaming time...

Yes, my partner's perfect. Or at least, just about.

I don't mean that maliciously, of course! It's just that... well, these last few months I've been reading and scrolling and browsing on some rather niche sites - perhaps more than I should. And much as I love her just as she is, I've been unable to escape the fact that I want something even more - both for her and for me. You see, I recognize in her the seeds of something more adorable precious than she will ever know...

She's a Little - even though she doesn't know it herself.

It must have been more than a year ago now that I first discovered such a thing. Ageplay, it was called. Regression. Naturally, my first impulse was skepticism, followed by - yes, I admit it - a trifle of disgust. But though I'd moved on, thinking I'd forgotten such a silly-sounding thing, the idea had burrowed down and taken root within my brain. I found myself reflecting on it now and then, musing on how it might actually be kind of sweet... and fun... and even a little sexy. And before I knew it, I'd found stray thoughts of a partner who would try such a thing - who would yield that kind of control to me - flitting into my mind during my most private and pleasurable moments...

Having been lucky enough to know Fiona, my dear partner of three years, I'm convinced now that ageplay will not just be a fun activity for her. It will complete her, and it will complete our relationship. I just know it.

I want to tell her, of course. I'm longing to squeal and giggle and sigh together over how lovely a mommy-and-little girl dynamic can be. I want to whisper to her, to tell her how lovely it will be to take my little girl in my arms, to scoop her up and make her my very own darling little angel baby. I want to feed her mouthful by careful mouthful, to wipe her messy mouth with her darling little bib, to slip a lovely full bottle between her lips. I want to gaze down at my wide-eyed, innocent Fiona, mute behind a sweet pacifier, as I wrap her in the beautifully soft garments of a sweet, helpless infant...

But no. No matter how discreetly and kindly I said it, I'm sure she would think I'm an absolute nutcase. And so, I need to be a bit more, you know... circumspect. Indirect. Discreet.

Just shut up, I retort to the misgivings that inevitably mushroom within my mind. After all, I would never, ever in a thousand years try to force my partner to do something she doesn't want to do. Consent is everything, I know that. But what else can you do when the one you love doesn't even know what she truly wants? what she needs? Surely I can be excused from helping her a little bit... right? Maybe just tipping the scale a bit in my favor. Loading the dice. Leading from behind. Whatever metaphor you care to use.

After all, they say hypnosis can't make you do anything you truly don't want to, right? So it's really all just a matter of helping her want the right things. I just need to add a little extra, a bit of guidance to help her true Little emerge, just like a butterfly: naturally, beautifully, and at its own pace...

That is why I'm silently scanning these sites and clicking these links and collecting these files, when I should by all rights be making our dinner. I'm doing something much more important: marshaling all the tools I will require to coax my sweetheart gently free from the confining chrysalis of her own silly adulthood...

***

"Earth to Fiona. Dinnertime!"

It's only when I hear the syllables close beside my ear that I'm jolted back into reality. "Liz! You made me lose that fish!" I protest as the pixelated ripples disappear, as if taunting my frantic clicking. But she's ruffling my hair and laughing as usual. "Hey, not my fault, babe! I've called you, like, three times before! You don't want your spaghetti getting cold, now, do you?"

I grumble and set down the controller, suddenly becoming aware of my rumbling stomach. Yeah, maybe Liz is right. "Okay, fine. Let's eat..." But Liz is waggling her finger. "Uh-uh! Better go wash those wash those dirty hands first." I heave a sigh at her predictable injunction. "But they're not really dirty," I protest, even as I make my way toward the bathroom. "Sweaty, then!" she cuts in, waving a spoon briskly in my direction. "Go on, then. Palms are sweaty...

"Knees weak, arms are heavy," I call out over the noise of the water rushing over my hands. "Hurry up then if you want Mom's spaghetti!" she laughs back - and I do. "No vomit on sweaters, though," I remark, sliding into my seat and eyeing the tasty-looking pasta and salad before me in delight. "Thanks for making this, sweetheart - it looks amazing..."

It is amazing. And yet another reminder of why Liz is such a dear of a partner.

"Whatchya got going tonight?" I ask, eyeing Liz over the rim of my glass. "You don't have to do more work, do you?" She's a marketing consultant, freelancing from our apartment here, and really very good at it from what I can tell. Her consulting brings in more money than my own bank job - but it also means long evenings now and again, when I'm frittering away time by myself and trying not to bother her too much...

"Nothing much," she shrugs, rising to clear away our used plates. "Just a bit of computer stuff. So why don't you do a bit more of your game while I wrap things up?" She grins and bends down near my ear. "And after that... well, it is Friday night. Want to have a little bit of fun times to celebrate the end of another week?"

I wriggle and return the affectionate peck on my cheek. "Weeellll... I mean, maybe? But I really need to get a few more levels, and I need to ride all the way back home..." She's grinning, and I flush, simultaneously relieved that she's not disappointed and yet anxious that she might think I'm being silly. "More gaming instead of sexy times? Quite a choice there. That game must be really fun!"

But Liz's hands are on my shoulders, and she's dropping her bantering tone - along with another kiss to the top of my head - as she straightens up. "Don't worry, honey. Really, it's just fine! Tell you what: I'll sit on the couch too and finish up what I'm doing while you're playing. That way we'll at least be together..."

Liz really is sweet, isn't she? Sometimes I really don't know how I can ever deserve her!

***

This is so perfect. Fiona's back at it, immersed happily in her blocky technicolor world, and I'm seated just so she can't quite see my laptop screen. And now up comes the media player, and on go the speakers. "Just a bit of relaxing ambiance," I shrug as the first warm waves of sound emanate from the speakers throughout the room. "Sounds pretty nice, huh?"

Fiona doesn't respond, rapt as she is in battling the monster before her, and I suppress a smile. "Going to take a quick shower now," I murmur as I slip up from my seat and head for the safety of the bathroom - laptop in hand. "Don't worry, I'll be back..."

It's a half-hour file - nothing much. Just a bit of relaxation, a bit of binaural whispers and chanting that anyone would think are just a feature of some cool, New Age music. And a steamy shower will give me the perfect amount of time to let it play through to my unsuspecting Fiona...

Yes, I've crossed the Rubicon now. I've made my choice. And I'm quite positive I'm not going to regret this, the first of many such hypnotic sessions. For if nothing happens, all will be as it was. And if it actually does work... well, we'll both be happier, won't we?

(To be continued!)