The One Sex Skill Every Cis Man Needs and Few Ever Learn

Yesterday I wrote a post called, “What Cis Men Should Know About Clits.” In the post, I said that mastering Sarah’s clit doesn’t master Jackie’s. You have to start afresh with every new person who deigns to remove their knickers in your presence.

What’s that you say? That’s not a contentious statement? Well, I thought that, too, but several men found it profoundly upsetting. They’re experts. They’re veritable clit professionals. Nobody knows the clit better than they do, not even the owner of that clit.

My best orgasms come from stimulation of the clit to the bottom of the vaginal entrance. Not one man has ever thought to pay attention to that part of my anatomy because mastering Sarah’s clit doesn’t master Jackie’s. Every single man I’ve had sex with had one route to the female orgasm: tongue to clitoral glans, circling slowly, then moving faster until The Great O appeared.

That’s why The Great O rarely appeared and why the two virgins of my early sex life gave me more orgasms than all the men who followed. They paid attention to my body. They even asked me about my body. That, right there, is a little-known sex skill called “Asking Questions and Actually Listening To the Answers.” I know it’s an advanced skill, but I swear it’s easier than it sounds.

I have a weird vulva, but it’s a multi-orgasmic one. The Big O will be forthcoming in roughly five minutes and two seconds if you know what you're doing. I am, nonetheless, a victim of the orgasm gap because Jack thinks all clits are the same and that his Proprietary Glans Circling Technique is advanced enough to draw pleasure from everyone who owns a clit

Jack, your Proprietary Glans Circling Technique is everything that’s wrong with my sex life. I’ll bet there are a lot of women who adore your strategy, but I suffer from terminal uniqueness. I require a proprietary technique called Patience and Listening.

I know it’s hard to think you're not the best cunnilinguist at the spelling Bee, but that's a glowing sign that your sense of sexual self-worth is tied to your skills. And it shouldn’t be. Sex is not a performance, but an interaction between two or more people. It’s about connection, not showing off.

If I pick up the barest scent of male ego in my bed, damned right I’m cutting the sex down to 30 minutes so I can send him home and fetch my Rabbit—I mean book.

My first boyfriend liked nothing more than to have the notch of his glans licked one centimetre down, no more, no less. A recent partner preferred to be bitten HARD. He was multi-orgasmic if you put pressure on his perineum. Not all prostates can be reached that way. The man who followed didn’t want women anywhere near his perineum, anyway. He got his joys from feeling the head of his cock beating against the back of my throat.

Men are terminally unique, too. I know you think they’re all like you, but they aren’t. And women are not all like your first girlfriend either.

A 2014 study found that 80% of straight women fake orgasms. Some do it to get a dudebro off their clit, but many lie for their partners’ sakes. Many fake it to get their sense of obligation out of the way because, for many straight women, the female orgasm is little more than ego fodder for straight men who don’t want to listen.

Essentially, the more skilled you think you are, the more likely women are to fake orgasms with you. Put that in your fleshlight and smoke it.