Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don't (Chapter 14)

AN: Sorry if this part is a bit slow, there will be some action the next chapter or so before we reach Northshire.

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My heart dropped into my stomach, and I felt my face turning pale. I wanted to argue, to deny Willem’s words, but I couldn’t. Deep down, I’d always known the truth.

It was like a physical weight settling on my shoulders, causing me to hunch over. My eyes went to my threadbare shoes.

“Why?”

The words were barely a whisper.

Willem didn’t reply immediately. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him slowly dragging on his pipe.

“Trust me kid, if you had the gift, you’d have known long ago. Not only you, but your family, your whole village too…”

He chuckled sinisterly.

“…that is, if it hadn’t already burnt to coals and ashes.”

There was a moment of silence before he remembered himself, coughing into a fist.

“Not like I really know. That’s just what I heard.”

“…”

I felt a deep sense of unfairness well in my chest. I knew it was pointless – the world was never fair – but I couldn’t help it. It was such a massive disadvantage, being incapable of magic.

“Then… what about alchemy? Or enchanting, or… something like that?”

Shoving my bitterness as far down as it could go, I pressed forward. I’d held out hope for so long that I was unwilling to give up so easily.

If I couldn’t become a mage, then I’d at least augment my abilities somehow.

Willem sighed, tapping his ashes out on top of a log.

“Tell me brat, what’s the most valuable currency?”

I blinked confusedly, the sudden change in topic catching me off-guard.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

The red-haired man frowned at me, standing up.

“What do you mean ‘what’? It’s a basic question. You sure you aren’t retarded?”

I grunted, feeling offended. However, I gave it some serious thought—if it helped my cause, I’d answer a thousand nonsensical questions.

‘It’s probably ‘power’ or something, right? I’m not sure.’

Even though I thought it, I didn’t think it was a good idea to answer so honestly.

After thinking it over for a bit, I shrugged.

“I don’t know, gold?”

Willem snorted, shaking his head.

“Information, it’s information, you stupid kid. Never mind, it’s my fault for having high expectations.”

He patted his trousers before walking toward the camp.

“Even if I had the answers to your questions, what do you have worth trading my knowledge for? Don’t bother replying, because I already know—you don’t have anything. So don’t waste my time and get lost.”

He spoke over his shoulder, not looking back.

In the distance, I heard mister Westley shouting, signaling the start of today’s trek.

Clenching my jaw, I fought the urge to pursue Willem, pester him until he finally spilled his secrets, but I suddenly remembered Erik hadn’t shown up yet. It was extremely unusual—he wasn’t the type to wander off and get lost, nor was he ever late.

Balling my fists, I stared intensely at the departing mage’s back, but I could only save it for later. Right now, I needed to find my brother—hopefully he hadn’t gotten into trouble.

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Unable to delay the caravan, I could only scurry around panickedly near the outskirts.

In the end, I wasn’t able to find Erik inside the camp.

Only when the wagons started moving did my brother finally appear from the forest’s depths, covered in dirt and mud.

“Erik! Where were you? I looked everywhere, but couldn’t find you! Where you in the forest? What were you doing there?”

Worried and anxious, my mouth ran off on its own.

Erik gave me a carefree smile, putting a hand on my shoulder. Or at least, he tried for one, but I could tell something was off.

“I woke up early, so I went for a walk. It’s not a big deal, but sorry if I worried you.”

Knowing he was talking nonsense, I fought to keep a frown off my face. It really wasn’t smart—running off into the woods alone, and without telling anyone. The list of things that could go wrong was endless.

I spoke hesitatingly.

“Okay, but you should have woken me up. Next time, don’t go alone, tell someone. It’s dangerous in the forest.”

As I spoke, I observed his expression—there was a hint of remorse, but mostly he seemed to be thinking of something else.

“Yeah, I know. But we should go, otherwise they’ll leave us behind.”

Erik’s reply was absentminded.

Realizing he wasn’t taking me seriously, I suddenly felt an urge to punch him. However, I restrained myself.

“Have you eaten yet? Here, take this. I bought it off Hugh. They allowed him into town, so he has some spare rations.”

Swallowing a sigh, I stuffed some dried fruit into his hands. We were about halfway through our journey, yet the little money we had was basically gone.

To say I was eager for Northshire was an understatement.

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Erik and I walked in silence.

Since we started, I noticed him acting restless. I had a vague notion of what the cause might be, though I hoped I was wrong.

A few times, he looked at me hesitatingly, like he had something to say.

“Those people from last night—have you seen them?”

Unable to help himself, he eventually blurted out the question. Though he tried appearing casual, I detected a hint of desperation.

I rolled my eyes inwardly.

At this point, it was impossible to miss the reason for his strangeness. He was clearly still thinking about the girl.

“I spoke to the beard guy this morning. He was a bit… grouchy.”

Shrugging, I told the truth. Plenty of people had seen us talking, though the topic of our conversation likely remained private.

An eager light shone in Erik’s eyes.

“Is she his… I mean, are they…”

His mouth opened and closed, but he didn’t finish his sentence.

Though I guessed he wanted to ask about their relationship status, I played dumb, just looking at him confusedly.

Chewing on his lip, my brother shook his head.

“Never mind.”

He sighed quietly, almost sounding forlorn.

Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced at him, not knowing what to make of the current situation.

I understood why he’d feel this way, but it was useless. Not only was the mystery woman way out of his league, she was older than him and a mage with 99% likelihood.

However, a lecture from his ten-year-old little brother probably wouldn’t change his mind.

Lagging a little bit behind, I stared at Erik’s back. It was then that I noticed something sticking out of his knapsack—a few colorful flower petals.

Unable to help myself, I smacked my palm against my forehead.

‘This guy… was he actually picking flowers all morning?’

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Our journey continued uneventfully.

Big as our caravan was, bandits didn’t seem willing to cause trouble, and wild animals avoided us. Now and then, there was some strange chittering sounds in the forest, which I assumed belonged to monsters, but they never showed themselves.

The only hiccup was a massive fallen tree, obstructing the road. It made the caravanners nervous, being an old highwayman trick for laying ambush. Fortunately, after a quick analysis, the trunk was determined to be rotten.

Clearing it wasn’t difficult with everyone’s participation. After half-a-day, we were back on track.

During our travels, Erik and I started interacting less. He was always on the lookout for that mystery girl, who’d seemingly vanished. His obsession was getting worse, sneaking off each morning to pick fresh flowers.

Otherwise, he was spending time with Sam and their ‘friends’.

Not that I minded—I was busy too, trying to corner Willem. The mage was annoyingly popular, always chatting or laughing with a few people. It was incredibly hard for me to catch him alone.

Not knowing how long he’d stay, I was getting desperate. I even considered forcing a confrontation, but decided against it after calming myself down. If I made him mad, it’d all be for nothing anyway.

Fortunately, an opportunity arose a few days later. We passed by a small hunter’s village, this one being a lot more hospitable than the previous ones. Needing to resupply, most of the caravanners went together.

For some reason, Willem stayed behind, as did I. While Erik invited me to join him and his friends, I refused, unwilling to let this chance pass me by.

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“Hey, magic uncle.”

Spotting the mage next to a small fire, I approached from behind. Over his shoulder, I saw him stewing some ingredients in a small cast-iron pot.

Poor as my diet was, I found the smell incredibly tantalizing.

Hearing my voice, Willem glanced over his shoulder, then groaned.

“Damn, it’s you again. The hell you want this time?”

Instead of replying, I stuck my hand into my coat, withdrawing a frayed coin-pouch. It held a grand total of fifteen copper coins—all that remained of my savings, as well as Jed and Lily’s meagre contributions.

An under-arm toss sent it clattering near Willem’s feet.

“I don’t want to make any trouble for you. I haven’t said anything to anyone, and I won’t if you refuse. It’s just… if you could answer a few questions, please. I’ll beg, if I have to!”

The desperation I managed to contain finally boiled over. I almost kneeled, but having nothing else to my name, my pride was all I had left. I settled for clasping my hands, giving Willem my best puppy-dog expression.

The red-haired man ignored me, simply stirring his stew.

However, I didn’t become discouraged—if he didn’t chase me away, I’d stand here until the sun went down. And that’s nearly what happened.

Willem cooked and halfway finished eating his lunch before he finally lost his composure.

“Bah! Whatever, let’s see first.”

He suddenly bent over, picking up the pouch, then counting the coins with distaste. To say he was unhappy with the amount was an understatement.

I half-expected he’d distain such a small offering, choosing to return it out of pity. To my disappointment, he actually emptied the pouch, stuffing the coins into his pocket before returning the linen bag to me.

He finally looked at me, raising two fingers into the air.

“Fine. But I have two conditions—don’t go blabbing to your little rat-friends, and don’t get upset with me if you hear something you don’t like.”

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