Top Advice for Budding Streamers

Top advice for budding streamers. 

1. Be kind and wholesome; positivity is inherently contagious.
2. Be yourself, but be measured: people want authenticity, but too much feels like therapy.
3. Model the behavior you want to see in your followers.
4. Have an extremely cool penis.
5. Be famous, sexually-active, and have a large social media following.
6. Be very famous, have a huge social media following, and be extremely sexually-active.
7. Dig up a skeleton from the cemetery on stream.
8. Find a sick child and film him. Viewers appreciate sick children.
9. Give your dog a math problem and stream him struggling with it. Viewers like to know they're not alone.
10. Add a laugh track to your stream so that your audience knows when to laugh. This will help remind your audience that they have missed out on a golden opportunity to laugh.
11.  Never make your streaming schedule too rigid. You want to give yourself an opportunity to take a day off.
12. Film the future. It will give your viewers on opportunity to make trades from which they can profit handsomely.
13. Relish the opportunity to correct your own misstatements. It's not a sign of weakness: it gives viewers comfort to know that you're fallible too.
14. Show your iPad screen when you're playing a mobile game: people love to know that their heroes have iPads.
15. Let your viewers know that you're (eventually) going to tell them how to get rich off of bitcoin; but to shut the fuck, be quiet, and focus on your stream until you're ready to tell them.
16. Charge your phone on camera (optional).
17. The best streamers are even better listeners. Your followers didn’t show up to listen to you talk all day — they showed up to listen to you listen.
18. Bend your viewers to your will.
19. Never forget your roots. Your stream started out on Justin.tv, which was a platform designed for traditional content distribution. Give a shout out to Justin every once in a while.
20. Require that users enable Macromedia Flash Player to view your stream.
21. Share some of your passwords with your audience to establish trust.
22. You don't have to stream games! Sometimes your viewers just want a crash course on how to build a nuclear bomb, or a history lesson on Syrian military victories.
23. Don't be afraid to give your viewers a reason to fear and hate you.
24. Play Russian Roulette on stream. Tell your viewers that you'll add a bullet to the chamber for every donation.
25. Donate to yourself on stream to show to your audience that you're just as invested in your own success as they are.
26. Followers remember what they see, and they'll forget the things they never saw.
27. When it’s hot out, make sure to drink water on stream. When it’s cold out, make sure to drink hot chocolate. Be consistent.
28. Don't be afraid to show your belly button and/or asshole.
29. People who chat the most, donate the least. Eliminate them.
30. Tell your viewers to hold their applause until the end. Ban anybody who doesn't listen.
31. Constantly remind your viewers that "age is just a number."
32. Release your complete tax returns and long-form birth certificate on stream so the audience knows you're a red-blooded American.