DLM, Bk 6, Prologue II

It was a curious experience, not simply controlling a number of robots, but performing as Metis. I had done so before, but only while Mother was incapacitated or mentally engaged, using the control necessitated by her crippling injuries to move her body. Now, we had prepared a simple double, stuffing the armour she normally wore, very much like a sock-puppet. Splitting from Mother had been a necessity and now, the shard of myself that was controlling the armour was entirely left to its own devices, leaving me discombobulated. Maybe I simply was not ready to be out on my own, without Mother to give advice and direction but it would have to do, in order to keep the charade we had set up going.

“How are you dealing with things?” Nisha asked, once she had me in the separate room. There might be listening devices set up, my sensors didn’t pick up anything, but that merely spoke of the sophistication of any potential listening devices. For a moment, I had to compute her words, compare them to previous exchanges others have had with Mother and formulate an adequate response, taking into account the recent events.

“As well as one would expect.” I admitted. Matching Mother’s voice was easy, I had been computing her speech for over a year, But computing the right emotions to formulate the right tone was a lot more difficult. “It is hard.” I added, trying to obfuscate. Hopefully, there’d be a focus to this talk, not only a discussion on emotion, or I might need additional heat-sinks. The computing-power needed was quickly scaling up, as more social implications became relevant and I tried to compute their impact in regards to events.

“You’d be a lot more convincing if you weren’t locked down tight.” Nisha gave me a compassionate smile, while I simply nodded behind my mask.

“It was my home.” I explained, emulating how I would feel, if Mother ever ceased to exist. How would I feel? She was, in so many ways, the centre of my being, both physically and spiritually, if such a concept made sense for me.

Her body contained the main-cluster I used, the core of my personality and while I could spin off parts of myself, as I had done for the armour, they were mere shards. I would reunite with the core and be whole once more. But her mind was what gave me direction, what gave me purpose. What had made me, as a companion, friend and helper. Without her, I would be…

I didn’t know what I would be.

And that was frightening.

Focusing back on Nisha, after a few,eternal seconds of computing, I noticed that there was concern on her face.

“If you ever need to talk, just tell me. Or tell Sophia, I’m sure she’d have an open ear, too.” she assured me, reaching out  to squeeze my shoulder. It was a little weird, though there would be no way for her to notice the puppet beneath the armour.

“Thank you.” I replied, letting her continue the conversation, as I wasn’t sure where she’d go next.

“TitanTech. How confident are you in them?” she asked, finally getting to the point. Or so I hoped. Business was simple, emotions were not.

“They have been working with me for years.” I replied, considering how much I wanted to tell her. Before I came to a decision, she continued on.

“I looked into them. They appear to be rather shady, as if they are laundering money or something. Their manufacturing is legit, but the whole administrative part, the business, so to speak, I have no idea where that is. Nobody seems to know, it’s as if they are a puppet, a disguise, the entire management and direction coming from outside.” she explained, sounding very concerned. The emotional emulation I was running was apparently glitching, it merely returned vast amusement, while suggesting to react grateful for the concern. Without mentioning that it was unnecessary. Considering for a moment, I decided to not quite follow the emulation.

“Thank you, for your concern. There are factors involved you do now know about but I am certain that you can trust Ms. Alleyne. She is on our side and helping us in a bad situation.” I explained, deciding to employ a bit of truth in deception.

“There are forces out there, hunting for Anath and Metis.” I emphasised the two names, “And we just lost all political backing. The reason I went to Accord Island in the first place was to gain security, political backing to keep myself safe. Getting an education was necessary but ultimately, not the main purpose.” I admitted, using a reasoning Mother had given me in the past.

“And you think the project will give you that backing?” she asked, before considering for a moment.

“I can see that. The numbers are attractive and Father wouldn’t want anyone to interfere with a project of that magnitude. But I also know that there’s a lot more to you and your Power than you admit.” her eyes were intense as she studied me.

“Please, don’t force me to choose between friends on one side and family and country on the other.” she asked, the warning in her tone clear. If we tried to abuse the project, she would use whatever knowledge she had, to stop us. In a way, I could respect that, as I was willing to go to the same length, in defence of Mother, and Sophia, as losing her would damage Mother.

Not certain how to reply, I simply nodded. “The project will perform as described.”

That there were more parts to it, I couldn’t share, as some of the plans Mother and I had been hatching would count as problematic. Mother wasn’t content to use the political backing of another, not after the backing she had relied on suddenly evaporated. No, she wanted to have political power all of her own, inherent to her being.

A power-base that couldn’t be taken away, controlled only by her, even if she had to work through me. Some of the plans she was hatching scared me.

I didn’t want to become a living weapon. And I didn’t want her to become a living weapon.