Bonus # 525: Am I Being Annoying On Instagram?
Added 2024-10-24 16:32:05 +0000 UTCBen is having an existential Instagram crisis, but luckily Ronnie is there to get his head right. Check out this boney and then let us know your thoughts on parasocial/regular-social friendships on the ‘Gram. Check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens
Comments
WOOOOOOW!!! You spoke to so many feeling I have about how I am perceived. I will say that I try to combat the fears by reminding myself that showing up authentically is all I can do. If I’m authentic and someone doesn’t like it then we aren’t meant to be friends. We can scare off or annoy those who truly love us. So in short: fuck ‘em!
Lauren Strom
2024-10-29 17:07:01 +0000 UTCI wonder if this was expressed to you as a general policy the disgruntled party holds, when in actuality it’s an interpersonal issue informed by their specific relationship, and Miss Annoyed-By-Likes doesn’t necessarily feel this way about other people doing the same thing.
Molly
2024-10-29 15:09:51 +0000 UTCThe way I would absolutely never react to another social media post of Matilda’s if she said that to me. What a crazy pants.
Leslie
2024-10-29 05:04:20 +0000 UTCI literally had a friend who became an extremely famous clothing designer and married an even more famous designer. We used to catch up Every few years, but she no longer answers my emails. I’m the kind of friend that keeps n trying with people. But, since she’s rich and famous I feel creepy reaching out now. And I really miss her! It actually makes me mad at fame and fortune for taking away my friend.
jewel story
2024-10-29 04:19:09 +0000 UTCI feel like I just had a solid therapy session. I love Ronnie’s advice about considering what you think of others vs how you’re appearing to them. I see this a lot in dating, too. There’s so much focus on how to attract people, how to “get the guy”, or how to be good at dating - as though a rejection is a rejection of who you are, when really you just weren’t a good match for *that* person. So now when meeting people (platonically or romantically) instead of thinking of it like an audition and focusing on how I’m coming off, I focus on the other person and try to decide if I even care to continue to spend time with them. Okay, done posting novels now. Again, what a great episode!!
Beth-a-knee
2024-10-26 18:18:34 +0000 UTCI love Ronnie’s response, “Sorry I’m annoying you with my kindness and making you scroll for an extra second.” If someone told me to stop liking their posts…that’s such an obnoxious reaction to someone being nice that I would honestly be super petty and probably unfollow them. At the same time, I think what’s more interesting is to point out that while social media claims to “connect” us it’s not the same as fulfilling human connection. I’ll get on Instagram or whatever because I’m lonely and it’s temporarily satisfying to see my friends and hit the “heart” - but ultimately it’s like the junk food of socialization. I haven’t exchanged anything deep with anyone except, as Ronnie points out, the giving and receiving of approval. I just have to be careful to not let SM overtake time I could be spending with loved ones in-person or on the phone. Thanks for reading my dissertation for my “Tech & Society” PhD 🙃
Beth-a-knee
2024-10-26 17:51:42 +0000 UTCFirst of all, Ben & Ronnie are also my most beloved parasocial relationship. Also I absolutely love how you approach this!
Beth-a-knee
2024-10-26 17:41:12 +0000 UTCOh gosh I comment on so much of these stories! I always think of it as supporting people rather than annoying them? Idk if it annoys people they can take it up with their therapist 🤷🏻♀️
Beth-a-knee
2024-10-26 17:39:40 +0000 UTCThat’s so nice! It’s Allyson Rowley Builds
Allyson Rowley
2024-10-26 17:38:03 +0000 UTCWhat’s your account? I’d love to follow your wood working account!
Beth-a-knee
2024-10-26 17:37:16 +0000 UTCHoly shit, I think I’m annoying
Kelli Buck
2024-10-26 00:11:30 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing thoughts like this! I adore you 😻
TallulahBGood
2024-10-25 18:59:10 +0000 UTCI always hesitate reacting to your stories because I feel like I shouldn't bother you guys with a heart or clap - I'll have to start reacting more because I love your content!!!
Jennifer Riester
2024-10-25 17:54:57 +0000 UTCI have an ig dedicated to my woodworking and I get more annoyed that I can’t get my family to follow that side hustle ig instead of my regular one. I would love reactions to anything I post! I have a few other maker friends and we always react to each other stories 🤷♀️
Allyson Rowley
2024-10-25 14:45:32 +0000 UTCHm, I feel like I’ve been a “paperclip” friend before. There was this one girl once who called to see if I wanted to go to a concert because she didn’t want to go alone and everyone else was busy (she literally said this!). But it doesn’t seem like you’re paperclipping by liking someone’s post. I’m with Ronnie, how often is that person posting that seeing reactions to their post is annoying them?!
Hillary Zalaznick
2024-10-25 13:09:14 +0000 UTCSpeaking for myself, the only reason I DM a celeb is because I feel like we share a lot in common and we’d be good friends. Not for the fame at all. It also feels like a celeb would be a safe person to befriend (even tho I know that’s not always the case)
Stephisabagel 🥯
2024-10-25 04:24:14 +0000 UTCWhat a vulnerable, sweet conversation. The world needs more of Ben and Ronnie ❤️
Kristin Ramsdell
2024-10-25 02:35:24 +0000 UTCBen you are absolutely doing nothing wrong! In fact I would say you are BETTER than most! You are alerting the poster you liked their post! You are basically saying "I see you" and to any "normal" person that is wonderful & you are making them feel good. 🫂❤️
Rebecca Fialkowski AKA Beccainbalt
2024-10-25 00:42:37 +0000 UTCOh Ronnie I so wish you were doing a daily Vlog of your house reno!! I mean come on - we all love the Reno tv shows - your reno would be over the moon loved by all your patreons! 😄🙏❤️❤️
Rebecca Fialkowski AKA Beccainbalt
2024-10-25 00:41:31 +0000 UTCExcellent wording, Janet. Perfectly said. 💙
ColeenSkygal0330
2024-10-24 23:52:27 +0000 UTCBen, I “heart” some of your IG stories because, #1, I love what you cook, and #2, your sewing is so impressive. And recently, when you posted a cartoon of a person sitting on a sofa, surrounded by Live, Laugh, Love signs, I laughed so hard. Thought of Gina right away. Ronnie, I enjoy seeing pics of your family. Your nieces are adorable and I get a kick out of your mom and dad. I DO “heart” those posts and stories because they give me joy. You two are friends in my head, so there. 😉
ColeenSkygal0330
2024-10-24 23:50:51 +0000 UTCI hope we aren't annoying when we make comments/like these bonus episodes 😘
Jennifer Seeley
2024-10-24 21:35:25 +0000 UTCYes!!!! 🎉
Leslie
2024-10-24 20:42:22 +0000 UTCI pebble my college kid relentlessly. Maybe try returning my texts if you don't want 10 Moo Deng memes today.
HeyJane!
2024-10-24 20:21:27 +0000 UTCI’ve thought about this too- but for me it’s on the music business side of things. I have that hyper awareness like Ben- some stems from closeted queerness and some from being raised by emotionally immature parents. Since I changed therapists and now do Internal Family Systems I find that this worry (trigger?) is from a younger version of myself. If I can acknowledge that injured part of me, let it know it doesn’t need to run the show-I can get past those sick feelings of worry with less intensity. So I’m still hitting the ❤️ 🔥👏 when I feel it. You two are my most beloved para social relationship. I’ve actually thanked you in person for keeping me calm through some pretty uncomfortable medical procedures. And you were both very gracious. And afterwards I stressed about telling you for days🥴 Love you both!!
Janet
2024-10-24 19:58:10 +0000 UTCI am the exact same way Ben! I over think the social media thing as well. However, I always am touched when my friends like my stuff and I’m sure yours are too.
Lisa
2024-10-24 19:36:09 +0000 UTCYour friend can ask whatever they want of their friends, but it's very strange, boomer energy to be annoyed someone interacted with your story. I'm always grateful friends do that. It's a little tiny connection we can make in our busy lives
Linsey Levy
2024-10-24 19:32:39 +0000 UTCA lot of business or larger accounts don't get the reactions as individual messages. They can view them in a different place because otherwise they would have thousands of new messages all the time.
Linsey Levy
2024-10-24 19:31:41 +0000 UTCAlso, that would be a good bonus episode: your intern stories!
Victoria Johnson Williamson
2024-10-24 17:42:51 +0000 UTCBabes, can you make new ringtones? I've had "did you mean to call me right now" (Ben as Padma) for 8 years lol I also have "boboli!" But it's way too annoying 😂❤️
Sandra Duran
2024-10-24 17:42:38 +0000 UTCThere’s nothing wrong with being supportive! At least you’re liking their posts. Would they prefer to not have engagement? There’s nothing more annoying than being on TikTok where you can see your friends viewed your post and didn’t even hit the like button.
Victoria Johnson Williamson
2024-10-24 17:35:18 +0000 UTCI have legit wondered this every time I send a reaction to Crappens and Reality Gays stories 😂
Leslie
2024-10-24 17:29:01 +0000 UTCI assume people want posts to get traction and I always react to boost, as well as enjoying, the posts of friends. I agree with Ronnie - it’s a weird ask to tell someone to stop reacting so much
Julie K
2024-10-24 16:52:16 +0000 UTC
