talking distances

https://sadnessmusic.bandcamp.com/album/distances

distances is an album I released in march of 2015 with no digital format. I did this on purpose because I wanted it to be more mysterious, more introverted and less accessible. this album is extremely significant and personal and I believed it deserved to be more special. I've always been attracted to the idea of certain pieces of art being hidden and mysterious, like hidden tracks at the end of albums or bonus tracks that only exist on physical releases, or better yet, music that literally can only be found on physical format. you can listen the original album on youtube but honestly, it sounds terrible. I clearly didn't know how to mix music back then and beyond just being "lo fi" the album ended up just being unlistenable. I decided to remaster the audio without sacrificing the original atmospheric intention, but making it at least listenable, and uploading it to bandcamp and also spotify. this is the 7th sadness album and that numeration is on purpose. all of the songs were madei n january of 2015 with the exception of track 3 which was from september 2012. I'm going to try to talk in detail about this album without oversharing too much personal information. what is captured here is truly from the most profound corners of my being, more so than any other sadness album especially at that time.

Distances:
"Distances

call, with such haunting bliss

In love with the mystery beyond horizons

with loves, two souls

and an endless flame

soaring beyond the enrapturing skyline"

for many, many years in my life, long before I even recorded this album, I have always felt the strongest, somewhat unreachable, unrecognizable yet so familiar sensation, that there's something, in some distance, that's a part of me too. that' calls me. I've felt some energy pulling me towards the distance even when I was a little boy. ever since I was little I always found myself getting lost by wandering around, somewhat aimlessly, but my dreamlike orientations were as if to walk towards, trying to reach, something, I never knew what it is exactly and I still don't know, I can only describe it as this magic, this pure essence that is for me. this only became more vivid as I would get older, like age 14, it began to feel so much more like a genuine calling from the distance, and I would find myself burning towards something, so intangible but it felt so familiar. when I recorded distances I was 17 years old, and by this point I had already vividly recognized a deep afinity for the color orange, the orange of the burning sunset, as the color of this distant space that burns every fiber of my being. I have felt this afinity since I was 16, but as soon as I turned 17 it felt like it ashined before my eyes the realization that this color, this burning essence, truly flows through my veins in some distant dimension.  the number 17 is orange. something about this winter, my 17th winter, like it blanketed my being into this liminal dreamilke sleep. when I recorded these songs I felt like my soul was somewhere else, I felt halfway in my body and the other half of me was burning in this lucidity, this pure formlessless and my eyes burned the orange flame. it was truly magical sitting in my basement recording these songs. it was as if the deep winter sleep allowed me to open my eyes. I remember recording all these songs at night too. I don't iknow how else to describe it, words are useless, I felt lucid. I felt like a distant part of me was recording theses songs. It wasn't my physical body recording these songs, everything came from another place, another distant formless body of mine, burning somewhere in the orange sky. this song "Distances" describes the strong pure sensation that deep in the distance, somewhere, something is burning for me, and I burn for it.

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Night:

"Lucidity

of a winter night

my heartaches, sorrow tears and pulls upon it

ascending myself into the vastness of the open night sky"

in december 2014 I went to the mountains in colorado. on the night I flew back home I felt something very intense and surreal in my body. I have no idea what words to use to describe it. I felt burning, vibrating, and very connected with the nightsky. it was a bleak winter night outside and I was waiting in the airport terminal, and burning, uncontrollably. I remember looking out the windows and feeling every inch of the openness of the night sky, and as if my being would fill into it. this song is about that moment

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Distant highway:

no lyrics. like I mentioned I recorded this song in september 2012. the drums were recorded during the distances sessions though, but everything else was september 15 2012. the original title of this session was "sound of a distant highway". I have or will end up talking about this many times again and again as it resurfaces in many other themes in my music "like in the distant travels" but ever since I was very young, the sound of a distant highway has always been unfathomably beautiful to me. I would be outside in my backyard and listen for hours on end to the sounds in the distance. the feeling this would bring me is truly and utterly and completely indescribable with words and there is no point in even trying. this is too personal to even openly touch anyway. I don't think the song even describes the feeling that well anyway, but in september 2012 I remembered that beautiful feeling that has always been in my heart since I was about 10, thinking of an listening to the distance. it makes perfect sense that I would use this song for distances

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Scar sounds:

"Desires… they feel so distant

like the sounds of a highway

so hauntingly beautiful, yet lonely…

I want to burn as the flame of two souls

burning like the sounds

burning with you…"

I'm at a loss for words to talk about this song. every single sound perfectly captures this certain space that i would see in my head, that I would feel in my veins. this sounds EXACTLY like the orange roads. this sounds EXACTLY like a part of me that had been burning for so long. I don't know if I've ever captured a specific imagery with mymusic so well as i did here. I was floating when I recorded this. I don't even know how to explain what this is about. these sounds are burning, and I burned like the sounds. words are useless. just listen to the music. you won't feel what I feel, but I have no words at all otherwise